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Child Item

Signs you are dealing with a 'Rooter'

Finty Lemon

Horns on the weanlings
No tags on the calves
Tractor left ready for the hill start
Green diesel in the jeep
Silage in September
Reseeding in October
Slurry in December
Pallets on the manholes
Netting in the tank
An old cow kept to feed a few calves
Cash only
Homeopathic cures
Homemade remedies
Has an invention that is really a contraption
Cattle left out too late in autumn
Cattle left in too late in spring
Feeds a lot of salt
Blames copper for everything
Small squares
Penstrep
Ringworm
Anti-vax
Keeps the PI's
Ignores the lame ones
Buys stock based on colour
Sells stock based on panic
Never washes the trailer
Still milking at 10 in the morning
Still milking at 10 at night
Asleep at the back of the meeting
First in line for the grant

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_Brian

Gave Loan of trailer to a lad to do some timber. Never returned. I went to pick it up and he still had it half full of rings beside his garage.

I got thick, pushed it across the yard and threw the rings out at the back door of his house where you’d have to cross them before getting in the door. Apparently his Mrs was furious

Never asked to borrow it again.

He was just splitting them out of the trailer as he needed them.

Nekarsulm

Borrowed a trailer from a lad once ( good big Hamilton, much bigger than my own trailer)
Instead of the safety clip on the hitch handle, he had the grains of a well worn graipe put through the cross hole on the hitch and tied in with baler twine.
Stepping across the draw bar I caught my nice Purofort welly on the fringing graipe head and sliced it open...

_Brian

lads taking used milk liners thrown off after six months and using them at home. Saw this in a few places.

Sac O Spuds

The wife is as rough as the husband.
I was working for a plant hire contractor years ago. We'd go back to his house for grub. Kitchen was a bit confined so was the table. Spuds lobbed out a plate and you proceed to peel them there on the oilcloth- no sideplates. She'd come along when we finished and scrape the peels into a pot. Clear the plates and wipe the oilcloth with a rag. I never ate bread there unless I had a plate to rest it on. The oilcloth on that table would give Covid a run for its money.

patsy_mccabe

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

Kevhog1988

When finished with something leaves it just inside the shed door to be put away later. Later turns into a big cleanup every few months. Something were both guilty of here but I'm trying to change. I wreck my own head when I do it.

memorystick

A woman near here used to assist the stallion by manoeuvring its penis into the box of the mare. They were kept in a paddock at the back of the house in view of the kitchen window for closing observation. She was very good at it and took pride in her work. When the job was done, she would wipe her hands in her apron and return to her kitchen duties. A great house for grub. She used to make her own mayonnaise and all. A different breed.

J.O. Farmer

patsy_mccabe wrote: »

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

Heard that one too, it's probably part legend, part true.

_Brian

Sac O Spuds wrote: »

The wife is as rough as the husband.
I was working for a plant hire contractor years ago. We'd go back to his house for grub. Kitchen was a bit confined so was the table. Spuds lobbed out a plate and you proceed to peel them there on the oilcloth- no sideplates. She'd come along when we finished and scrape the peels into a pot. Clear the plates and wipe the oilcloth with a rag. I never ate bread there unless I had a plate to rest it on. The oilcloth on that table would give Covid a run for its money.

Brought into a house for the dinner one day and I kid you not they had black plastic laid on the kitchen floor under the table amd chairs. One of the rough lads with me says out loud it’s great they are protecting us from the dirty floor. Much silence followed.

J.O. Farmer

memorystick wrote: »

A woman near here used to assist the stallion by manoeuvring its penis into the box of the mare. They were kept in a paddock at the back of the house in view of the kitchen window for closing observation. She was very good at it and took pride in her work. When the job was done, she would wipe her hands in her apron and return to her kitchen duties. A great house for grub. She used to make her own mayonnaise and all. A different breed.

You'd want to be wary of the mayonnaise after hearing that.

HildaOgdenx

patsy_mccabe wrote: »

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

There's a story like that in one of James Herriot's books.

Not sure if it was included in the televised version 'All creatures great and small'.

_Brian

patsy_mccabe wrote: »

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

That’s nasty.

One of the knackeries had a drop off point near Shercock in Cavan. A skip with a mound of clay that you could reverse up to get above the skip to throw stuff into. I remember going one time with my dad, late 70’s.
Skip was full and overflowing with putrid fluid and crawling with rats.

Albert Johnson

patsy_mccabe wrote: »

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

I witnessed the above but I'm confident that he done it only to sicken the observers as there was a nice portacabin office he could have used instead of sitting on a cow in a draughty shed. I brought a dead ewe to the knackery for a former employer one day at lunchtime, the boss man hadn't a great stomach and went straight for the office while I unloaded the ewe. The man processing the carcasses was all chat and I stood up talking to him for a few minutes. Out lands the boss when he'd the paperwork sorted and I knew he was yearning to get away so I stayed chatting (don't worry the same fella deserved that punishment and more). Eventually my employer realised he'd left the dispatch book in the office and went to retrieve it and was told by the knackery man to ask the woman behind the counter for his lunch box.

After a few minutes the boss man landed back with the dispatch book and a lunch box and flask which was gratefully received by the yard man. He sat down on the greatly distended stomach of a big AA cow and continued the chat as he set about having lunch. He was halfway through the first sandwich when I enquired about the easier way to skin a calf for use in adopting a foster calf. I suppose he was delighted that someone was interested as opposed to horrified at his craft and duly set down the sandwich beside him on the cow, grabbed his knife in one hand and a nearby calf carcass in the other and proceeded to set about skinning it and explaining as he went. The boss man was going a funny colour by this stage and upon the completion of the demonstration the other man ran one hand through his mustache and went over to the cow, retrieved his sandwich and continued eating. It was all to much for my employer and he disappeared around the corner and eventually reappeared back sometime later whiter than any ghost and told me to "come on ta f@ck we're going".

PoorFarmer

patsy_mccabe wrote: »

Heard this story second hand - guy goes into knackers yard and there's yer man sitting on a dead cow drinking tea and eating a sandwich. He stands up and leaves his half eaten sandwich on the cows belly.

Witnessed this too. Lad involved would have been a real martyr for drink though. Saw him sit on an old donkey and made his sandwiches on the hide.

Grueller

memorystick wrote: »

My neighbour used to let the dogs lick the frying pan clean. Fairly hardy.
My father was a rooter. Always loved pulling beet the day before the factory closed. Had to have beer to pull over Christmas. A nuisance of a man if I’m honest.

Might have had his way of doing things, and like many from the generation that grew up through the 50s and 60s may have been psychologically scarred from having nothing to the degree that everything had to be used and nothing could be thrown out. To go with that they tried to spend as little as possible. I don't necessarily agree with their way of doing things but it is or was their way. Now I don't know your father but to be fair to call ones father a nuisance of a man on a public forum is not right.

curiousinvestor

My auld man was a gr8 judge of cattle, hard worker, fairly good farmer.
But my lord,if there was an awkward and stupid way to do things he had it. Gates tied up, nothing hung right. Every week gates moved here there everywhere.
Fencing, walking around fields carrying posts and wire. He nearly had a stroke when I started using the tractor to carry stuff and drive poles. Wasting grass and diesel.
Every second week there was a calf pen or calving box made Saturday morning and disassembled next week.
Every morsel ofsilage in d winter had to be picked out.

memorystick

Grueller wrote: »

Now I don't know your father but to be fair to call ones father a nuisance of a man on a public forum is not right.

You have no idea the hardship and pain that he caused his family.

foxy farmer

memorystick wrote: »

A woman near here used to assist the stallion by manoeuvring its penis into the box of the mare. They were kept in a paddock at the back of the house in view of the kitchen window for closing observation. She was very good at it and took pride in her work. When the job was done, she would wipe her hands in her apron and return to her kitchen duties. A great house for grub. She used to make her own mayonnaise and all. A different breed.

I did a day welding and repairing a few gates in a rather rough equine stud about 15 years ago not too far from me. First thing I saw getting out of the van was a great Dane with one leg swollen nearly as big as mine. He was quickly dragged out of sight. When I was finished she came to pay me. She put her hand down her top had a rummage around and pulled out a wad of cash. Counted out what I asked for handed to me and said "That's hot now, be careful"
A tradesman told me after that he did a bit of work in the house. Beds up on concrete blocks.
House was in a woeful state he said. A health hazard.

patsy_mccabe

memorystick wrote: »

A woman near here used to assist the stallion by manoeuvring its penis into the box of the mare. They were kept in a paddock at the back of the house in view of the kitchen window for closing observation. She was very good at it and took pride in her work. When the job was done, she would wipe her hands in her apron and return to her kitchen duties. A great house for grub. She used to make her own mayonnaise and all. A different breed.

God, the stories are flying now. This one true. More funny than shocking. Above reminded me of it.

Years ago when I lived in Dublin, a group of lads came up from home. Probably a Clare match. We went out that night and one of the lads scored. Peter was one of these easy going guys that always seemed to get women, with little effort. A bit like Joey in the sitcom Friends.

The following day with hangovers and all, we decided to visit the Japanese Gardens and The Irish Stud. A young girl, maybe early 20s is showing us around in a group with all sorts, young and old. We come to the mating shed and the girl starts explaining the procedure. 'Well, first we tie up the mare and then we bring in the stallion' . With perfect timing the comedian in the group, standing on a bit higher ground in front of us, turns around and calls 'Pete'.
Well I never laughed so much. We were all rolling around on the ground, more embarrassed than anything. We had to make quick exit. I looked back and everyone in the group was laughing too. You had to be there.

Albert Johnson

foxy farmer wrote: »

I did a day welding and repairing a few gates in a rather rough equine stud about 15 years ago not too far from me. First thing I saw getting out of the van was a great Dane with one leg swollen nearly as big as mine. He was quickly dragged out of sight. When I was finished she came to pay me. She put her hand down her top had a rummage around and pulled out a wad of cash. Counted out what I asked for handed to me and said "That's hot now, be careful"
A tradesman told me after that he did a bit of work in the house. Beds up on concrete blocks.
House was in a woeful state he said. A health hazard.

Some of the horsey crowd are a law unto themselves and the women are often worse than the men. A well known horse dealer with a big family but a reputation for straying was accosted by the apoplectic father of his latest bit on the side one day during the fair of Ballinasloe. To make matters worse the father was soon to be grandfather of the dealer's offspring coupled with the fact that our man was older than the girl's father didn't do anything to lesson the outrage. After unleashing a torrent of abuse towards the dealer the other man stopped to catch his breath. Seizing his opportunity and in the true spirit of his occupation he told the father and all assembled "If she doesn't keep your free to bring her back again" and simply walked off.

PoorFarmer

curiousinvestor wrote: »

My auld man was a gr8 judge of cattle, hard worker, fairly good farmer.
But my lord,if there was an awkward and stupid way to do things he had it. Gates tied up, nothing hung right. Every week gates moved here there everywhere.
Fencing, walking around fields carrying posts and wire. He nearly had a stroke when I started using the tractor to carry stuff and drive poles. Wasting grass and diesel.
Every second week there was a calf pen or calving box made Saturday morning and disassembled next week.
Every morsel ofsilage in d winter had to be picked out.

Sounds like a twin of my old lad. A 9" long piece of pencil post with a bucket lid nailed onto either end for rolling up polywire. Was shocked when I spent €50 on a geared roller. Lifes too short for that crap.

Large bottle small glass

With work one day about 20 years ago I was in a fairly rough yard passed a man working with a bench grinder.

Something looked off the way he was pressing against bench. So a I stopped for a look.

The bench had one leg; on the outside, he was working the opposite outside corner. The pressure was to keep it up a 20mm "ledge".

Didn't see this one but a good college friend had trouble ranking hay when the front wheel of tractor collapsed; it was very badly rusted and the wheel failed near hub leaving just a very small piece left.

There was pressure on to finish the hay and his father landed in and after administering a b0llicking welded on another front wheel to the remains of the old one. The new wheel was quite a bit bigger. It was on for years after.

Posted this on cycling forum before

For people who rode the Sean Kelly Tour the highest house on route was at about 350m on climb up the Nire. Two brothers in that house were a bit special.

My next door neighbour was the local GP. One day he called to them and noticed one had a healing but nasty cut. It was from a rusty roofing sheet.

The dr enquired where it had been treated. The older brother said he gave him a shot of the needle. After further enquiries a distressed bottled of bovine antibiotics was taken down from shelf, and the dr was informed that he reckoned the patient was the same weight as a 12 month bullock and dosed him accordingly.

curiousinvestor

PoorFarmer wrote: »

Sounds like a twin of my old lad. A 9" long piece of pencil post with a bucket lid nailed onto either end for rolling up polywire. Was shocked when I spent €50 on a geared roller. Lifes too short for that crap.

Polywire??!!.
Are u joking. I saw him recycling high tensile wire for strip grazing.
Pig tail posts were " fiddle faddles"
I wont get started on making silage, suffice to say, once I was about 15, we nearly came to blows ,me with a 4 pronged pike
Oh I could go on.

Sacrolyte

foxy farmer wrote: »

I did a day welding and repairing a few gates in a rather rough equine stud about 15 years ago not too far from me. First thing I saw getting out of the van was a great Dane with one leg swollen nearly as big as mine. He was quickly dragged out of sight. When I was finished she came to pay me. She put her hand down her top had a rummage around and pulled out a wad of cash. Counted out what I asked for handed to me and said "That's hot now, be careful"
A tradesman told me after that he did a bit of work in the house. Beds up on concrete blocks.
House was in a woeful state he said. A health hazard.

Thought that story was going to be far more exciting than it turned out to be.

Sacrolyte

PoorFarmer wrote: »

Sounds like a twin of my old lad. A 9" long piece of pencil post with a bucket lid nailed onto either end for rolling up polywire. Was shocked when I spent €50 on a geared roller. Lifes too short for that crap.

Ah lad go handy. That’s one for the guntering thread.

forgottenhills

Sacrolyte wrote: »

Ah lad go handy. That’s one for the guntering thread.

I know a man who built his own small bale baler and a Haybob equivalent in the 1980's from random scrap iron and car axles etc. I don't know whether this story should go into the Rooter or an ultra guntering thread!

Kevhog1988

forgottenhills wrote: »

I know a man who built his own small bale baler and a Haybob equivalent in the 1980's from random scrap iron and car axles etc. I don't know whether this story should go into the Rooter or an ultra guntering thread!

Thats gunthering . The best of mend and make do if it worked

forgottenhills

Kevhog1988 wrote: »

Thats gunthering . The best of mend and make do if it worked

If you had to lift the heavy packed bales produced by the baler you might think it was rooting! The guy was a mechanical genius though and produced other wonders.

theaceofspies

This has got to be the best farming thread ever. Its like watching Fawlty Towers in the '70's

Kevhog1988

forgottenhills wrote: »

If you had to lift the heavy packed bales produced by the baler you might think it was rooting! The guy was a mechanical genius though and produced other wonders.

I have an uncle like that. Gifted but with very little formal education.