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Masturbation

Gael23

I’m 29 and I knock one out most mornings.
Should you start to wean yourself off playing with it as you get older?

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Mister Vain

Gael23 wrote: »

I’m not sure the fantasising about other women is normal but masturbating during a healthy relationship is perfectly fine

Unless you're jizzing on your partner while they sleep.

greenspurs

grassylawn wrote: »

Sometimes it's not appropriate to think about someone in a sexual context. **** over them pretty much establishes a sexual context.

I'm married with a kid so for me that's really anyone I meet who isn't my wife.

It's fine and normal to view pornstars in a sexual context though, for example.

sexual Fantasy ? it is not always acted upon.

So you would not look at a beautiful woman on the beach? walking down the street ?

grassylawn

greenspurs wrote: »

sexual Fantasy ? it is not always acted upon.

So you would not look at a beautiful woman on the beach? walking down the street ?

Well that's a separate context again.

With me, I think fantasising about someone sexually might permeate into my real world interactions with them in some way. That can happen in subtler ways than attempting to fulfil the fantasy.

Aside from loyalty and protecting my relationship with my wife, I would feel I was being creepy in a lot of cases, even if I was single. For example I taught women at third level and worked with women who were effectively subordinates. I think it would be transgressing a clear and important boundary in those cases.

greenspurs

grassylawn wrote: »

Well that's a separate context again.

With me, I think fantasising about someone sexually might permeate into my real world interactions with them in some way. That can happen in subtler ways than attempting to fulfil the fantasy.

Aside from loyalty and protecting my relationship with my wife, I would feel I was being creepy in a lot of cases, even if I was single. For example I taught women at third level and worked with women who were effectively subordinates. I think it would be transgressing a clear and important boundary in those cases.

Well, if thats how you think it would affect you, fair enough.

What do you mean - "That can happen in subtler ways than attempting to fulfil the fantasy "

Can you 'transgress a clear important boundary' if its a fantasy in your head ?

Thoughts are only thoughts unless you transmit them into actions.
How often do bad thoughts flash into your head , but 99% of the time thats all they are, flashing thoughts.
Same with sexual fantasies , you use a person as the focus of your sexual moment at that time. I can say personally i have never felt 'creepy' after i came

And i havent tried to fulfill the fantasy.
I just tug and think

Mister Vain

Just picture them in their underwear.

grassylawn

greenspurs wrote: »

Well, if thats how you think it would affect you, fair enough.

What do you mean - "That can happen in subtler ways than attempting to fulfil the fantasy "

Can you 'transgress a clear important boundary' if its a fantasy in your head ?

Thoughts are only thoughts unless you transmit them into actions.
How often do bad thoughts flash into your head , but 99% of the time thats all they are, flashing thoughts.
Same with sexual fantasies , you use a person as the focus of your sexual moment at that time. I can say personally i have never felt 'creepy' after i came
And i havent tried to fulfill the fantasy.
I just tug and think

Maybe body language or the expression on your face. Or it could form unconscious bias. I think it was a revelation to me when I realized one of my exes wasn't a great person or super-intelligent. These were attributes I ascribed to her because she was good-looking and had nice boobs. I don't think it's uncommon to idealize people you are attracted to.

My view is that yes you can transgress imaginary boundaries in your imagination. The difference is that the only person it directly affects is yourself. But maybe it can affect how you view or interact with other people too.

Would you be ok with absolutely any sort of fantasy, so long as it stayed a fantasy? Take it to the logical extreme.

greenspurs

grassylawn wrote: »

Maybe body language or the expression on your face. Or it could form unconscious bias. I think it was a revelation to me when I realized one of my exes wasn't a great person or super-intelligent. These were attributes I ascribed to her because she was good-looking and had nice boobs. I don't think it's uncommon to idealize people you are attracted to.

My view is that yes you can transgress imaginary boundaries in your imagination. The difference is that the only person it directly affects is yourself. But maybe it can affect how you view or interact with other people too.

Would you be ok with absolutely any sort of fantasy, so long as it stayed a fantasy? Take it to the logical extreme.

Im sorry but i dont understand how 'using'/thinking about some one in a sexual fantasy is detrimental in any way, if it remains a fantasy?

marieholmfan

Ejaculation is useful for men as they get older becasue it boosts testosterone especially in conjunction with lifting weights, it also appears to have some impact in reducing the rate of prostate cancer.

Older men are I suspect less likely than youger ones to be at risk of some sort of bizarre imprinting of unrealistic and frankly undesirable sexual practices through viewing pronography and may simply won't have the time to watch enough porography for this to happen.

grassylawn

greenspurs wrote: »

Im sorry but i dont understand how 'using'/thinking about some one in a sexual fantasy is detrimental in any way, if it remains a fantasy?

Do you mean you don't understand something I said, or just that you don't agree with it or relate to it?

greenspurs

grassylawn wrote: »

Do you mean you don't understand something I said, or just that you don't agree with it or relate to it?

I just dont think it applies to me i suppose.

Everyone is different ..

[Deleted User]

grassylawn wrote: »

Would you be ok with absolutely any sort of fantasy, so long as it stayed a fantasy?

Short answer? Yes.

marieholmfan wrote: »

Ejaculation is useful for men as they get older becasue it boosts testosterone especially in conjunction with lifting weights

Not at the same time - one hopes?

Loafing Oaf

grassylawn wrote: »

Sometimes it's not appropriate to think about someone in a sexual context. **** over them pretty much establishes a sexual context.

If it's literally over them I'd say so...

[Deleted User]

Have to be honest, if I have to belt one out, I'd often be thinking of people I know. I'd have assumed that was the norm for most people, that you'd be imagining people you'd like to get stuck into in real life, but can't for various reasons..?

misstearheus

What in the.... how in the Fraggle Rock did I get here..

greenspurs

Deleted User wrote: »

Have to be honest, if I have to belt one out, I'd often be thinking of people I know. I'd have assumed that was the norm for most people, that you'd be imagining people you'd like to get stuck into in real life, but can't for various reasons..?

Exactly....

I thought that was the norm ?

greenspurs

misstearheus wrote: »

What in the.... how in the Fraggle Rock did I get here..

Curiosity ?
The yearning for learning ?

Zascar

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd have assumed that was the norm for most people, that you'd be imagining people you'd like to get stuck into in real life, but can't for various reasons..?

It is. Please tell me if I'm wrong but I'd guess 95% of lads have a **** bank full of the girls at work or in their wider social circle. Sure women are the same...

greenspurs

A few scenarios, a few different 'stars' .....

BrianD3

It's all coming out now

**** about women you know/work with etc. is actually a pretty big taboo. I think women would be reasonably ok with someone fantasising in their head about riding them - but once you get into pulling your dick whlle doing so that is a disgusting image for them. Add in "using" social media pics to the equation for more disgust.

Who you **** about is nobody's business but your own but some lads are probably naïve enough to think that "I wanked about you last night" is a great compliment to pay someone.

I'm laughing away to myself here also thinking about The Inbetweeners and the lads telling Will that his mother is looking hot and "that's tonight's **** sorted".

Mister Vain

BrianD3 wrote: »

It's all coming out now **** about women you know/work with etc. is actually a pretty big taboo. I think women would be reasonably ok with someone fantasising in their head about riding them - but once you get into pulling your dick whlle doing so that is a disgusting image for them. Add in "using" social media pics to the equation for more disgust.

Who you **** about is nobody's business but your own but some lads are probably naïve enough to think that "I wanked about you last night" is a great compliment to pay someone.

I'm laughing away to myself here also thinking about The Inbetweeners and the lads telling Will that his mother is looking hot and "that's tonight's **** sorted".

Aye, better to say you were shaking hands with the one-eyed milkman while fantasizing about them.

greenspurs

BrianD3 wrote: »

It's all coming out now **** about women you know/work with etc. is actually a pretty big taboo. I think women would be reasonably ok with someone fantasising in their head about riding them - but once you get into pulling your dick whlle doing so that is a disgusting image for them. Add in "using" social media pics to the equation for more disgust.

Who you **** about is nobody's business but your own but some lads are probably naïve enough to think that "I wanked about you last night" is a great compliment to pay someone.

I'm laughing away to myself here also thinking about The Inbetweeners and the lads telling Will that his mother is looking hot and "that's tonight's **** sorted".

How would you know what women think ?

Some might like it, and some wouldnt like it.. ?

And who would go up and tell yer wan in centra that you knocked one out about her ?!
You are super extending anything that has been mentioned.
Some people are a bit prudish still about sex and masturbation .

BrianD3

greenspurs wrote: »

How would you know what women think ?
Some might like it, and some wouldnt like it.. ?

How would I know, maybe because I know plenty of women and can read them without asking them straight out about how they would feel about Trevor in accounts **** about their social media pics.

The slightest suggestion or implication that this may be happening is IMO a no go area of thought for many. They also are not particularly keen on thinking about men viewing porn and what they might get up to while doing so but that is still much less of taboo than the thought of men using friends and work colleagues as material.

And who would go up and tell yer wan in centra that you knocked one out about her ?!

As I said, some naive lad whose logic would be that he would feel complimented if he knew a woman was flicking her bean about him therefore if the scenario is reversed, then the woman would feel complimented.

To sum up, women are in general different than men when it comes to attitudes to sex and masturbation.

greenspurs

BrianD3 wrote: »

How would I know, maybe because I know plenty of women and can read them without asking them straight out about how would they would feel about Trevor in accounts **** about their social media pics.

The slightest suggestion or implication that this may be happening is IMO a no go area of thought for many. They also are not particularly keen on thinking about men viewing porn and what they might get up to while doing so but that is still much less of taboo than the thought of men using friends and work colleagues as material.

As I said, some naive lad whose logic would be that he would feel complimented if he knew a woman was flicking her bean about him therefore if the scenario is reversed, then the woman would feel complimented.

To sum up, women are in general different than men when it comes to attitudes to sex and masturbation.

So, just ignore it because its 'taboo'.... :rolleyes:
Pretend it doesnt happen.
Sex and masturbation used to be taboo also when the catholic church ran Ireland, and you might be surprised about what some of those "plenty of women" get up to in their thoughts and actions !!

McGinniesta

Sometimes when you wake up with a raging horn you kinda have to crack one off.

You have to do something with a horn of that magnitude.

Hibernia2

No reason to want to wean yourself off... **** is great I still love it

Loafing Oaf

Hibernia2 wrote: »

No reason to want to wean yourself off... **** is great I still love it

And if that's the only thing you ever post, Hibernia2, it was certainly worth joining the forum to do it.

Zascar

grassylawn wrote: »

Sometimes it's not appropriate to think about someone in a sexual context. **** over them pretty much establishes a sexual context.

Don't be ridiculous. A person's private thoughts are the one thing that is absolutely none of anyone else business. As long as it stays as a thought and nothing more - a person can think about anything they dam please.

greenspurs

Zascar wrote: »

Don't be ridiculous. A person's private thoughts are the one thing that is absolutely none of anyone else business. As long as it stays as a thought and nothing more - a person can think about anything they dam please.

Exactly !

H3llR4iser

BrianD3 wrote: »

How would I know, maybe because I know plenty of women and can read them without asking them straight out about how they would feel about Trevor in accounts **** about their social media pics.

The slightest suggestion or implication that this may be happening is IMO a no go area of thought for many. They also are not particularly keen on thinking about men viewing porn and what they might get up to while doing so but that is still much less of taboo than the thought of men using friends and work colleagues as material.

Ah, the good old "EEEWWWW!" response, which most women give by absolute default when talking up the possibility of intimacy with "Joe down in Accounting". A pre-packaged reaction to any such suggestion in a social environment, aimed mostly towards peer acceptance and avoiding to arouse suspicions of having "low standards", especially amongst other women who would then judge negatively.

Only exception, when it is allowed to forego the "EEEWWWW!" reaction - if they're sure EVERY other woman within earshot would want to have a go at "Joe down in Accounting". Which usually requires minimum conditions of him to be a 6'5" absolute stud and drive a Porsche.

Main difference with guys - you can say you'd love having a couple of hours alone with "Janet down in Finance", even if said Janet suffers from a skin condition, is missing a leg and an arm, suffers from b.o. and has an history of dudes disappearing after hooking up with her. The most negative reaction you'll get will be "uh...good for you mate, good for you."

:D:D

The first attitude doesn't pass the "real life test": if it was the real attitude, no woman would ever get with the "average Jim(s)"; They do, so it means the "EEEWWWW!" conundrum is just smoke & mirrors

:D:D

The second...smashes the test and actually beats any fantasy, proving once again if there was any need that for most of us guys, the theorem "doesn't matter if she's breathing, as long as the corpse is still warm enough..." hold absurdly right

:P:mad:

BrianD3 wrote: »

As I said, some naive lad whose logic would be that he would feel complimented if he knew a woman was flicking her bean about him therefore if the scenario is reversed, then the woman would feel complimented.

To sum up, women are in general different than men when it comes to attitudes to sex and masturbation.

You don't say

Yet, gotta tell...bloke going up to a lady and using "hey, last night I strangled the duck thinking about you" as an opener (or at any moment, really)...I would GUESS he wouldn't exactly be Noble prize material, just sayin

Zascar wrote: »

Don't be ridiculous. A person's private thoughts are the one thing that is absolutely none of anyone else business. As long as it stays as a thought and nothing more - a person can think about anything they dam please.

+ 1 million. Last thing we need is the though police...

grassylawn

A few ruffled feathers! Little bit dramatic to talk about thought police, and it's a bit childish to call someone's PoV ridiculous just because you don't see things the same way.

I think there would be an observable difference in someone's behaviour around people they've recently fantasised about. Greenspurs said actually they don't think that is true for them at all. I found that interesting. Obviously I don't know what goes on in other people's heads and for all I know some of the most professional people I know **** obsessively about their underlings once work is finished.

As for what the norm is, I was curious and google told me that 40% of people reported masturbating over colleagues (with only a small difference between men and women).

Personally I don't find the idea of someone at work masturbating over me welcome, and I would find it more unwelcome if they were attractive. I'd find it gross if the person concerned had authority over me that they exercised in any way. I think I can tell that some people have, to be blunt.