I need to make some serious changes in my life, I need advice
I'm going to try and cut the sh*t, I'm not where I want to be in life and I'm the sole cause, I've been given each and every opportunity and frankly I just haven't seized them.
From the outside it looks fine, I'm in college and as far as anyone can tell all is well.
I hate college, it's been the biggest mistake of my life, a close second is going back.
Long story short I got into my first choice course, a business degree.
Didn't care for it, found that 80% of it was maths, stats, econ, accounting and I hate(d) them all equally.
So I wasted some time but ultimately I dropped out.
I went working with my uncle who's a carpenter by trade for a brief while and I thought to myself 'yeah the trades seem like a good shout'.
I thought I'd be slick and go into an electrician apprenticeship with a large industrial outfit, in my head I was thinking; it pays more, it's more technical, more routes for advancement, respectable etc..
I knew from day 1 it wasn't for me but I stayed with it for 4 months to say I at least tried, I left after the trail period when i was asked to sign up.
I had notions of going back to Uni for engineering (somehow forgetting my distain for maths), It seemed like I copped on at the last second and decided I'd make another go at a business degree, but this time in a different college with less of the stuff I hated.
Honestly I made it through 2nd year because it was easy, I haven't studied for a test in my life, the second a module pops up that I find difficult I'm screwed because I genuinely can't study, I don't have the attention span for it.
I never have and I'm starting to realise and accept that college just isn't for me, there's nothing beyond the booze and the women that I've enjoyed, it taken me far too long to realise that college isn't for me.
I won't be continuing, I'll either drop out after Christmas or I just won't go onto the following year, I have zero interest and I don't think I'll ever use it.
I'm only in it to keep my (lovely) parents happy and to at least feel like I'm 'working' towards something while doing sweet f*ck all.
I think that learning a trade or a skill is still my best option, but it certainly won't be as an electrician.
I like working with my hands, I like seeing a finished product, I have a great eye for detail (noticing tiles aren't centred, doors are crooked, handles aren't on straight etc.).
I have zero intentions of spending the rest of my life in an office.
I know that's not the only route from a business degree but sales doesn't really interest me, and I have absolutely no intention of pursing any further education, plus I'd be lucky to scrape a 2.1 - and it certainly wouldn't be due to any effort on my part.
I have an exam tomorrow morning - I have absolutely no interest.
I think I just need to pick something, stick at it, graft and shut up.
My end goal has always been entrepreneurship, I want to own my own business.
I know that much at least, you could argue that I'm not fit for it and I'd say I honestly don't care, I've always wanted to start my own company and grow it into something impressive and successful, that's what I strive towards, that's what keeps me up at night - thinking how will I get to that.
I'm becoming a fan of Jordan Peterson (leaving aside the political stuff), he talks a lot about responsibility and I feel that's what I need, essentially a kick up the hole and a tear in my safety net.
I think I've brought all of this on myself, I've grown up comfortably and I haven't pushed myself in any real way, I know I need to start doing that for my own sake.
I want to start.
I'm not dreadfully unhappy but I'm not in any way fulfilled, I'm restless and p*ssed off at myself, I'm doing nothing I'm actually proud of, I'm getting no closer to where I want to be. I'm essentially a waste of space, I need to really cop on.
Here's what I think I need to do.
Get out of college,
Get into a trade, something I get satisfaction from, or that I can see myself enjoying once qualified, I'm expecting to deal with **** as an apprentice, that's just a given but I just don't want to dread waking up in the morning..
I just hope I get in with someone who's sound, I'd go with my uncle but he's over an hours drive away and work can be further afield again, I'm still considering it though, is the driving worth it to work with someone who I know and get on with?
If I could afford to I'd commute for a year and move down as a 2nd year apprentice.. I could possibly live with his family but I don't know if they want that, I just know I'd like to work with him.
Beyond that I just need to graft, put my head down and just work, stop looking for the next best thing and just accept where I am.. I need to pick my limitations, I've seen nothing but limitless opportunities but that's useless unless I pick one.
From there it's a case of finishing my 4 years and hopefully starting out on my own.
I'm just looking for advice, am I missing anything here?
-Get into something I like, work exceptionally hard (for once), stop looking for excuses, ways out and short cuts..
Why carpentry, why would I work hard at that and not college?
I enjoy working with my hands, it's concrete, there's no kitchen there and then you build one piece by piece, your ability is measurable, it's not open for interpretation, it's satisfying, it's employable.
I'm just so sick of my current situation, beyond college it's not that bad, but it's not where I want to be in any sense of the word..
I'd appreciate some outside input.