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Child Item

its not all festive and cheer

Kylta

What does xmas mean to you?

Is it a time of happiness.
If you've children its great to see there little faces light up on xmas morning.

Is it a time of sadness.
Family members having passed on, or are maybe suffering from serious illnesses etc.

Is it a time of friction.
Some festive family get togethers are a recipe for disaster

So what does xmas mean for you?

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KungPao

It's a highlight of a long, dark, cold, miserable winter on this god-forsaken rock. Kind of tired of the presents and ****e, but I love the tree up and watching John McClane and Clark Griswold etc and their festive high jinks. A few drinks, a few laughs, some time off work, spending time with older relatives (who knows...may be their last).

I'd say it's terrible for people in dire straits though.

Alejandro68

This Christmas will be hard to cope with. I wont be able to go home to my family to celebrate, and also knowing this will be the last Christmas a very dear friend will celebrate.

SineadSpears

StevenToast wrote: »

I come from a large family...i married into another large family...so its a huge social gathering at christmas...i put a brave face on it for the kids..

& yet that is something that I have always loved the idea of

In reality though I know I would be sitting in a corner thinking there are too many people around, its too noisy, & someone get those kids' paws away from the bloody food!

Oh & I don't drink either so if there were any champagne breakfasts I'd be watching the mood the whole day & planning my escape if anyone started getting a bit rowdy

[Deleted User]

Usually I'm beside myself with excitement at this point but I haven't seen my family in well over a year and it's really getting to me because Christmas means family to me. My dad was ill and I couldn't go see him, which was absolutely crushing.

It's been a really tough year, but in many ways a really great year too and for that I'm grateful. This year we've a little one, health, jobs, home, and each other, and that's more than enough for me. This time next year things will be better and we'll talk about 2020 like we've lived through a war, fondly remembering wfh in our pj's and slippers, and how we discovered gardening or baking, or some other simple pleasure that brought us contentment. There have been lessons to learn in all this grim uncertainty, pearls in the mud as my grandfather used to say.

Leg End Reject

ThewhiteJesus wrote: »

This will be my 14th on my own, so yes not great

Sorry to hear that.

Candie, I hope your dad has recovered and that you get to meet in person soon. The enforced separation and isolation is wearying.

chrissb8

Love it. Love having free time, eating well and being able to not worry about anything. I don't really understand when people say the music/fake cheer/advertisements and in your face element ruin it. You can just block those things out, very easily.

I do feel for some who are roped into the big Xmas with extended family. Used to do this and it was just a pain the a*** having to go out and see extended family for a few hours making small talk.

Think this year I'll be doing a lot more socialising than usual, as I can't wait to finish up a course for Xmas and finally get to see friends together again.

Shout out to anyone who finds this time of year tough though. Circumstances can and will change with the event of 2021 looking like an opportunity for renewed optimism. If not, I hope you find your peace in some form this season.

Capt'n Midnight

Christmas isn't Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Plaza

cannotlogin

Christmas is a strange time of year, fantastic or some but a difficult time for many. I think all anyone can do is make it the best possible for them, whatever that may be.

It's been a tough year for many but next year will be better. Vaccine is coming & once the most vulnerable get it, life will return to normal over time. The days will get brighter and weather warmer.

If anyone is struggling, please reach out to others or use any of the supports available. Hang on in there. There is a sticky at the top of the PI forum which might be useful.

IamtheWalrus

Not looking forward to it as my mam died recently

Graces7

Out here in my solitary outpost in the wide atlantic. there is peace. I made peace with a long hard past many years ago and now enjoy the simplicity of a Jesus -centred festival. All else laid to rest.

For me that is the only meaning now; and that frees to enjoy some of the peripherals for the pleasures they are. Hopefully turkey and other tasty things... depending on the weather, and a bittersweet moment or more than one of memories.

But most of all, peace. At being where and who I am.

Carols from Kings.... the deep silence out here of wind and ocean.

I was planning a tree this year but that has been ….. prevented.... and I am glad of that now... . Just sweet simplicity. Lights at the window soon to cheer rare passers by. The Advent Wreath in its meaningful beauty.

Stay safe and warm out there, and enjoy what it is possible to enjoy... there is still so much beauty in it all....In my thoughts and yes prayers here.

Here less now and more on weblog hopefully....

zerosugarbuzz

Deleted User wrote: »

Have children - but never do the Santa thing with them and the like.

Mostly for us it is a time for family and friends. The keyword being "time" where we take the opportunity to put everything else on hold and give that time entirely to those around us - and celebrate the achievement of making it through another year.

Given the year we just had - will be feeling like we have more to celebrate in that regard than usual.

What do your kids think of you not doing Santa? Do they not feel left out.

zerosugarbuzz

buried wrote: »

Go to a special spot nearby my place here for the sunrise morning of the 21st of December.

Then its a full two weeks off work for the reading books, listening to music and watching some films.

I don't buy into the hype noise of the thing. Never have since I was a kid. Its all about the two weeks off relaxing and its nice to take it as that.

This is the attitude to have.

Your Face

I'm very middle of the road about Christmas.
It has good and bad aspects and Ive had good and bad ones.

I'm not a boring Christmas cynic trying to score edge points but I'm also not an excited man-child about it.

That's the comfort of growing old - everything turns to grey.

[Deleted User]

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

What do your kids think of you not doing Santa? Do they not feel left out.

It has never been an issue really. Like Religion it is just things "other" kids do.

We do so much other stuff that they would never feel left out. In fact in some ways they feel less left out. As many (not all) parents use Santa as a form of "Our work here is done".

As in the kids are expected to get their presents and do that for the day/holiday and leave the parents alone. I have seen parents get irate even when kids seek attention at Christmas. Sure they have new toys - what more do they want.

For us it is about the opposite. It is _all_ about investing that time and attention in each other and activities and experiences and so on.

Graces7

Your Face wrote: »

I'm very middle of the road about Christmas.
It has good and bad aspects and Ive had good and bad ones.

I'm not a boring Christmas cynic trying to score edge points but I'm also not an excited man-child about it.

That's the comfort of growing old - everything turns to grey.

Ah no; you have time to gaze at the rainbow. And to choose where you look.

Uptheduff

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It has never been an issue really. Like Religion it is just things "other" kids do.

I'm really interested in the idea of foregoing Santa. It's good to know there are people who just don't do it. The piles of presents and emphasis on what they're getting each year seems so crass to me. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Convincing kids a strange man sneaks into their house at night to anonymously leave gifts seems completely wrong to me. It flies in the face of everything else we teach kids about being safe. The fact the lie is perpetuated by our entire culture to the point that the news does a Santa watch and total strangers will ask what Santa's bringing feels so creepy to me. Then when kids naturally start to get skeptical and question the reality of Santa and the world doubles down to convince them "of course he's real!" It feels so unhealthy to me. Why start lieing to them in the first place?

Im no Grinch and I loved the magic of Christmas as a kid but my feeling is it can be done minus Santa. We mentioned not doing Santa for our baby to the grandparents and they were horrified. Then there's the dillema of when they start school will they be accused of ruining other kids christmas' by telling them it's not real? I don't want to feel forced into a charade I'm uncomfortable with because that's what everyone does but it almost feels inevitable.

Wanderer78

It can be a very painful time of the year for me, incredible loneliness and sadness

893bet

Kylta wrote: »

What does xmas mean to you?

Is it a time of happiness.
If you've children its great to see there little faces light up on xmas morning.

Is it a time of sadness.
Family members having passed on, or are maybe suffering from serious illnesses etc.

Both.

Young child who will enjoy the lights and excitement. Father in law living with us who is 50-50 to make Xmas even. Covid visiting restrictions make everything very difficult.

Definately going to be a bitter sweet Xmas.

893bet

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Not looking forward to it as my mam died recently

Just a raise a glass and reflect on good times behind and realise there will be good times ahead.

[Deleted User]

Uptheduff wrote: »

We mentioned not doing Santa for our baby to the grandparents and they were horrified.

I have had that too. Usually only online though. Been accused of taking the magic out of children's lives - or destroying the "innocence" of childhood - to comical but rare outright accusations of child abuse.

On the occasions where I have engaged with such people it simply turned out each time they did not actually understand the terms they were using. They simply did not know what "magic" "innocence" and "abuse" means when it comes to children.

ThewhiteJesus

Wanderer78 wrote: »

It can be a very painful time of the year for me, incredible loneliness and sadness

You're not alone wanderer, i think the build up is worse, for me anyway.
Funnily enough once stephens day comes i usually feel better than i had in weeks, i immediately start looking forward to spring.

boardlady

Growing up myself, we had been told from very young that the real 'Santa claus' had died a very long time ago - the story of St Nicholas was told to us, and after that, we just enjoyed the magical elements of christmas without any of the stress of whether it was actually real or not. I knew that our parents gave us the presents - and so they go the credit - and also, we never had to listen to threats of 'santa won't come' from them. I similar with my own kids and it worked out beautifully. I always said I would not lie to them so as they asked was Santa real, and I explained that he was not, relief was the only emotion on their faces! In our house, it is time spent together, at home - but not working. And as an extended family, we spend time together. Time which normally centres around work and work-related talk. It is a very restorative fortnight and I love it for that. Also, I love the lights and the sense of nostalgia. It reminds me of christmases gone and of what I would like for christmas future, which will surely be different before too long as family pass on.

The Tetrarch

It is a time of giving ... giving out. :pac: