katiek102010 wrote: » It's from a hichcock film. The husband tries to make the wife think she is insane. He starts by turning on and off lights and trying to convince her that she has done it. The lights were gas, hence the phrase. Its the first time psychological abuse was publicly addressed as a form of domestic abuse
Rezident wrote: » Had to google 'gaslighting' (sounds like more superfluous divisiveness based on a lack of understanding of the clear differences betweeen the sexes), but I do not see how anyone could convince me that I have mental health issues in the absence of any. If someone told me that I was insane, I think that would say more about them that me, assuming I was not behaving insanely. There are common misunderstandings between men who don't understand women (and vice versa), e.g. when juvenile males call a girl 'crazy' because women make decisions based on their emotions, as they are different to men and many young people have not learnt this yet. Assuming you are not behaving insane, he probably just does not understand the well-established gender differences in psychology yet, you could research it and explain it to him.
Rezident wrote: » Assuming you are not behaving insane, he probably just does not understand the well-established gender differences in psychology yet, you could research it and explain it to him.
.anon. wrote: » You need to calm down. Total overreaction, as usual.
katiek102010 wrote: » It is very difficult to understand. It is a common tatic used by narcissisticits. It is usually very subtle and over a prolonged period of time. An example I have come across: A manager at work was bullying a girl, 2 another members of staff walked in during an instance and gave evidence at internal hearing at work. Manager got a slap on the wrist and was left stay at work while the bully left. The manager decided he wanted rid of the 2 who gave evidence. It started with him verbally telling them to do things and then denying it. They put a formal request to him that all instructions came via email. They then noticed emails would disappear, files they had created and stored on the system were gone. They started forwarding the emails to another manager along with copies of files etc. The whole situation lasted over a period of 18 months. One of the member sod staff was even accused of theft. His system claimed he was in a certain place on a certain day and had collected a couple of grand in cash. By that time the union and alternative manager were working behind the scenes and collecting evidence. The manager was eventually sacked or I should say forced to retire. He was walked out the door by security. Only because when he was approached by the alternative manager and a union rep he physically attacked the man. It had a huge psychological impact on the staff involved. It emerged he had gone to IT and was given remote log on access to the staffs laptops and work phones. He went to extreme lengths. He was accessing voicemails, deleting them and then claiming clients were logging complaints about the staff members. . He even risked court cases by attempting to destroy evidence. He followed them. Both staff complained of the same thing. One saw him standing in the airport watching her when she came back from a holiday. He was caught because he never checked the sent mail when deleting work of the system and the day he claimed the member of staff stole the money, he logged that onto the system incorrectly. At the time the cash was collected the man who was blamed was actually undergoing tests as he was convinced his memory was going. After he left it emerged that thousands had gone missing without a trace over a number of years. He was one nasty piece of work.
Alejandro68 wrote: » It just makes me think of a person lighting the gas lanterns in the 1800's.That you see in the old films. I was just curious how that meant something more modern and political.
Jequ0n wrote: » It’s actually quite a handy technique, and yes, I do use it. I couldn’t care less what others think about it.
Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: Some people are just mental midgets in terms of dealing with conflict resolution in their daily lives. That would be my overarching analysis of that particular term.
ILoveYourVibes wrote: » Yeah ive noticed.
Jequ0n wrote: » So you think
Phoenix32 wrote: I have BPD so I grew up with a mother that gaslighted the sh1t out of me.
Kylta wrote: » Named after a film with the same name, which contains the actions of what gaslighting is all about. An old movie too if im not mistaken
KathleenGrant wrote: He was a nasty piece of work and he did me a favour when he left. I didn't think that at the time but i would have been a broken person now if he stayed.
KathleenGrant wrote: » Had it done to me by the last man i lived with. Nothing really dramatic but small lies. Food I was thinking of using for dinner wasn't there when i was sure it was. Birthday cards i bought couldn't be found and he would convince me i never had them. He would come home late now and again and swear he had forewarned me but i wouldn't remember. It was horrendous and left me thinking i had early dementia (my mother suffered from dementia and he knew it was a real fear of mine). I was going through some stressful family stuff and believed the stress had me imagining things if not dementia. He moved out and left 2 months rent unpaid. He swore to the landlord that he had given this money to me and i had "forgotten". He detailed other instances of my forgetfulness to him and I still am not sure what the landlord believes. Six months ago when cleaning i found a box on the top of the wardrobe with birthday cards. He was a nasty piece of work and he did me a favour when he left. I didn't think that at the time but i would have been a broken person now if he stayed.
ILoveYourVibes wrote: » This happened to a girl i used to work with someone accused her of stealing. Apparently the woman who was the accuser bullied her for ages and did something similar. I came just before it came out. I was related distantly to a person in the office and they told me. The girl she accused was only like 20. She accused her of stealing company vouchers.
Wanderer78 wrote: » What a fcuking cnut
katiek102010 wrote: » It's awful isn't it. I fully believe that it was sheer luck that the manager involved was being watched. Due to the first incident, that the victims were not jailed incorrectly. How many more people go through it
KathleenGrant wrote: » The saying about only knowing a person when you live with them is so true.
Gretas Gonna Get Ya! wrote: » Gaslighting is just yet another pointless modern buzzword to add to the pile... Absolutely disgusting post. Gaslighting thankfully is now a fully recognised form of abuse. Many victims of DV experience it and it is commonly a precursor to severe physical abuse and even murder. It is also a recognised pattern of behaviour in people who have a diagnosis of NPD
katiek102010 wrote: » That is absolutely horrific and I'm so sorry you had to go through it.
