woodchuck wrote: » I feel the same. If I was younger I might be happy to wait another 2 or 3 years. But we're at the stage of our life where we should just have it done already. We're mid-30s, just bought a house together and talking about having kids. So either we go for the wedding in the not too distant future, or we end up putting it on the really long finger as other things take priority. Legally I'd prefer that we were married sooner rather than later. And I don't want to separate out the legal bit and party, because I don't want to simultaneously worrying about getting pregnant and trying to fit into my wedding dress!
Goose76 wrote: » Please don't take this the wrong way but there's no guarantee that things will be 'back to normal' in a year or two. I totally get your point re: potential regrets in the future but equally you don't want to be stuck in a cycle of postpoining-postponing-postponing for months and years on end in the hope of having the perfect wedding 'when COVID is gone'.
yourdeadwright wrote: » Have to say we are the opposite, Late 30s two kids and we are more than happy to wait After waiting so long to get married we don't want to do it with any restriction's or needless extra pressure, We aren't even planning on a big wedding so number would be fine , its just the principle of having our wedding day exactly the way we want it, But any logical person should realise that everyone is different and as I always say there is no right or wrong way to get married,
qwerty13 wrote: » I think you need to balance the advantages of being legally married versus the kind of day you want. I think that prioritising ‘the day’ over being legally married is a mistake. There’s lots of legal advantages to being married. Inheritance, next of kin, tax, guardianship for kids. I think it would selfish to postpone protecting your family unit legally, in favour of your preferred wedding party.
yourdeadwright wrote: » Selfish or have a wedding durning Covid and possibly cause an out break,, See it works both ways >>>>> No, I said about getting legally married, not ‘having a wedding’. People can get legally married without having a party, or lots of people there. A MISTAKE for someone and there partner to decide what's best for them and there family to get married futher down the line A choice already made by thousands of couples up and down the country, >>>>> My point was that what is best from a practical view for their family may well be to get married, as it confers many legal protections and advantages. I know someone who didn’t get married, their partner died unexpectedly, and now they not only have to cope with that, but also massive issues as the partner who died had no Will, had an estranged family, and they are also effectively viewed as a stranger in terms of inheritance tax. So in their case, yes, it was a mistake. A mistake with emotional consequences (my friend has to leave the house they lived in, as it’s being sold), and financial consequences (the parents of the partner who died inherit everything). Even if my friend’s partner had a Will, they’d still be crushed for inheritance tax. As things stand, my friend gets nothing. I understand from my pal that had they been married, she would have inherited everything, and without a tax bill. Maybe anyone planning to get engaged should contact yourself to see when is the correct time frame for them to get married >>>>> You are just being cross and silly now Weddings are personal and mean different things to different people im not sure how anyone thinks they know when the correct time for someone else's wedding is >>>>> I did mention that the legal safeguards and protections offered by marriage need to be balanced against the desire for a wedding party. It comes down to practicality versus an idea of what people want from a ‘wedding day’. I could have worded it better, but I think it’s important to at least consider that deferring a legal marriage in order to have the perfect or imagined day may not be a good idea, if there’s shared assets, assets that one partner is reliant on (such as living in a house that the other partner owns), or children in case of a breakup (marriage confers automatic guardianship, as far as I know, but it has to be sought if not married). If nothing goes wrong, then who cares if the wedding is next week or in 10 years time. The point is that if something does go wrong, being legally married confers protections and advantages. In my opinion (which of course every poster writes from their own experience and opinion), I think if assets and/or children are entwined, then prioritising the perfect wedding party over the practical aspects is not a good idea, as it may well hurt members of the family unit if anything were to go wrong. Have a day off will ye >>>>> Thanks. I’m having a lovely few days off.
yourdeadwright wrote: » Selfish or have a wedding durning Covid and possibly cause an out break,, See it works both ways A MISTAKE for someone and there partner to decide what's best for them and there family to get married futher down the line A choice already made by thousands of couples up and down the country, Maybe anyone planning to get engaged should contact yourself to see when is the correct time frame for them to get married Weddings are personal and mean different things to different people im not sure how anyone thinks they know when the correct time for someone else's wedding is Have a day off will ye
lazygal wrote: » This. Get married. Have a wedding another time. I really wish people would separate the two. Legal protections conferred by marriage are so important.
lazygal wrote: » We had a humanist wedding when they weren't legal. We just didn't tell anyone outside our immediate family it wasn't a legally binding ceremony. No one needs to know you've done the requisite paperwork already. I really think students in secondary school should do a model on some sort of family law and how getting married actually works.
Neyite wrote: » A church wedding - which is the one we will be having, can't marry you twice. You do the legal oath within the Catholic marriage rite, and sign the register after the service. If you want a ceremony at a later stage, then the RCC will offer you a blessing of the marriage along with a mass, if you want one. You can include pretty much whatever you want at that second ceremony excluding the specific wording that's reserved for the RCC marriage rite (incorporating the legal requirement) and excluding signing the register. The two services are very different and anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of catholic weddings would spot the difference. It sounds like you did your day exactly the way you wanted, good for you. We'll be doing it our way too.
lazygal wrote: » I thought I read on another thread that you were done with the Catholic Church. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
yourdeadwright wrote: » The day its self was a great everyone enjoyed it but it was different,Also they had to make do with things which is not what your wedding day should be about, I'm to get married next September but I think we will call it off, ...
douglashyde wrote: » A few of things to consider: - Venues are canceling pre / post wedding day events under level 3. Make sure you speak to your venue about this. - Having spoken to several venues they are expecting level 3 (or similar style restrictions) for the majority of next year and potentially into 2022. 25 people / 11PM cut off. I appreciate this is very anecdotal and really depends on how govt policy changes over the next few months. - The garda can not stop you crossing county lines - but our fear is that the venue will cancel us last minute (as we're from Dublin/Belfast), do consider this. - Ensure your contract allows you to get all money back in event of changes due to COVID. Certain large venues do allow this.
Goose76 wrote: » Some potentially good news arising from all this COVID madness and maybe something to consider for some brides-to-be. Many venues are now massively downsizing their minimum numbers as a result of expecting some form of guest number restrictions next year. Maybe this will help people with lower numbers get a venue they previously couldn't have obtained.
woodchuck wrote: » I appreciate your positivity, but it's not much use to those of us who already paid non-refundable deposits before Covid hit. Unless we want to take a big hit on the deposit to change venue.
Lollipops23 wrote: » I think it's still very early in the game for making these calls for 2021 weddings. Everyone is already making mental notes on trimming down guestlists etc, but the truth is there's really no knowing where we'll be on the other side of winter. Maybe worse, maybe better. Don't forget there's also an increasing likelihood of a vaccine by next spring, at least for older and vulnerable people. This alone would affect numbers at weddings.
mooreman09 wrote: » Our venue has told us that couples and guests can travel to another county when the venue is compliant with Covid regulations. Our journey would be Kildare to Laois. This relates to Level 3. Renowned venue, basing it on info from their body. We are next spring. So hopefully not in L3 but it'd be a comfort. If in doubt, contact your venue.
Weddings may proceed, but with a limit of 25 guests for ceremony and reception (irrespective of venue). It will not be possible to attend a wedding in another county. Couples resident in a particular county, but with existing plans to get married, can travel to get married outside that county.
woodchuck wrote: » That doesn't match up with the official government guidance for level 3 though:https://www.gov.ie/en/publication/ad569-level-3/#weddings The same is outlined in the Guidelines for Reopening of Hotels:https://failtecdn.azureedge.net/failteireland/Guidelines-for-Re-opening-Hotels-and-Guesthouses.pdf It's possible updates are planned in relation to this, but it's not reflected in any official guidance documents yet.
mooreman09 wrote: » Best to ask your venues for advice.
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