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Buying a House

LegacyUser

I was just reading the other thread about the man buying a house. I am just curious of people’s opinions on my situation.

I am a girl in my mid twenties. I wouldn’t be on a huge wage but I have saved a lot of money since I was in my late teens and got some money off my father. I currently live with my mother but we don’t get on and I am at my wits end living in that house. I have no siblings.

I am hoping to buy a small house myself, with some help from my father. I have a boyfriend of 3 years but we don’t live together. Mainly because we broke up for a short time last year and because I would rather save for a mortgage than pay rent. We are doing better now and both have better jobs. However we have very different backgrounds. My parents are very frugal and I have learned from them. I save a lot of my money. My boyfriends family are lovely but wouldn’t be great with money and I can see how he finds it hard to save money with the way his house is. That and is he is a couple of years younger than me, not that he is immature just probably isn’t thinking of buying a house.

It has been entirely my idea to buy the house. I wish to own the house myself and so it would be me paying the mortgage. If my boyfriend lives there I would expect him to pay some bills maybe groceries etc. I heard before that someone living in your house isn’t entitled to anything if there’s a break up unless they’re on the mortgage or contribute to renovations.

I would love the independence of my own house and I’m very unhappy with my current living situation. I don’t want to wait forever for my boyfriend to save up or even if we were to break up I still want my own house. My mother is trying to put my off buying the house trying to say I should wait until her mother passes on because she will inherit a share of her money/house. I will also inherit a house from my father. She also keeps suggesting I can never buy a house because my boyfriend will try to take half of my house and my father’s house off me. She has been telling me since I was a child that any boyfriend I have will basically just be with me for money.

My father is encouraging me to at least to buy the house. My boyfriend says I should do it but says it will be my house at the end of the day. My mother is really making me doubt everything. She never has anything positive to so and puts a horrible spin on any plans I tell her about. I am just so unsure of what to do.

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ILoveYourVibes

A court can order the proceeds from the sale of a home to be divided as they think is fair.

Its possible yes that your partner could be seen as having an interest.
Once you are not married he has no claims to any other property you could have. But the shared home ..a court could find he has an interest if he is living there a very long time usually.

Really there isn't a lot you can do to prevent this. But not letting him make improvements etc can help. Its more the time he has lived there. Helping to pay your bills etc.

Whatever your mother says. Not every person is out to get you. Its not healthy to have that idea of men in general. Her telling you a man will be with you for money ..its not great for your self esteem. It would indicate she doesn't think you have other things to offer. This would kind of influence you and what you actually think of yourself. Or her opinion of men is very low.

Can i ask you? I sense you feel ..in reality you wont end up with this guy permanently?

Take legal advice. They might sound like they are saying horrible things too but at least you know its neutral.

May I ask why you don't want to share what is yours with him? Its the difference between 'family' and dating someone.

Is it possible this guy is not the one?

Batgurl

I’m going to give very practical advice on the financial side of things as I’m sure being qualified people will be along soon enough on the emotional baggage you are carrying.

If you have a deposit of 10-20% and are looking to purchase something that is within 3.5 times your earnings, and can do all this without needing help from an additional lodger, I say go for it solo.

Take out a long mortgage (you are only in your 20’s) and IF things work out with your boyfriend and at some point in the future you decide to move in together, you can look at remortgaging and asking him to contribute a lump sum to pay off more of the capital and reducing the term time of the loan.

I believe that if you are in a relationship and living together for 2 years or more (1 if there is a child involved), he *may* have a claim on the home, even if he hasn’t contributed so better getting your affairs and agreements in order before he moves in.

Ladygoodman1

It sounds like your mother is very insecure about loosing you so she beats you down emotionally. Its her issues though she has problems not you by the sounds of it. She needs to get some outside hobbies or interests to find a bit of positivity and happieness in life. A family counseling session might not be a bad thing an outside person might be able to help your mother see how damaging her behaviour is. Your boyfriend does not sound pushy about you buying a house so dont dampen what you have by letting doubts creep in. You would know if he was materialistic. Trust yourself. Buying your own house is a good idea best of luck.

tcif

The Citizens Information website has useful information on the rights of cohabiting couples. If you buy understand your rights (and his) before you move your boyfriend in.
https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/rights_of_unmarried_couples.html

Don't let your mother put you down or put you off. It's great you have the ambition to own your own home.

Daisy78

I bought my own house a couple of years ago, a long standing ambition. It was always my goal to buy on my own as I wanted to have the autonomy with making decisions about location, size, decor, etc. But ultimately it was about having control over my living space and deciding who came into the house and perhaps more importantly who would leave if it came to it. In terms of actually taking first steps towards buying a house I would recommend you visit a mortgage broker, I found them invaluable when it came to getting advice on mortgage offers and guiding me through the whole process. Many of them don’t charge a direct fee so it’s a no brainer. I’d also recommend you look up the accommodation section on boards, was very useful to me regarding general advice on buying a house.

My partner moved into my house some time ago and like you I did have some concerns regarding what that might mean as to any future claim on the house. To be honest you just need to have an honest discussion with your partner about this, express your concerns and make it clear that ultimately it will be your house and you will make all relevant decisions in relation to it. My partner pays a small amount of rent but I pay the mortgage, bills and pay for any upkeep to the house. That’s the way I like it and it suits both of us. I have a number of friends who would have similar arrangements with their partners, i.e they own the property and he makes some contribution to the mortgage. With regard to your mother, it doesn’t seem to be a very positive relationship and it sounds like she is trying to put barriers in your way. She has a vested interest in you staying put so isn’t likely to be as encouraging as you would like. But you are a grown woman who has to make her own decisions and way in life so don’t let her put you off.

JustAThought

OP - the law was changed some years ago if your partner moves in with you he will be deemed by law after two years to automatically be your common law husband. Under this he will he entitled if he moves away, breaks up with you, cheats on you or you
throw him out etc regardless of what he promises now - in the eyes of the law he will he entitled to HALF the value of your home - even if he has never paid a penny towards anything and even if you still owe 25 year mortgage on it. My up the road neighbour came home to her inherited family home & found her partner in her bed with another woman cheating on her. She threw him out. Next thing she got legal oapers through the post demanding his ‘entitlements’ as
common law husband. She fought it through court and lost her home - he got half. Sickening.

If your bf moves in and pays rent - as a rent a
roomer, ensure he has a rent book and you sign it every month this gives you some chance, but not much. If he fails to pay the rent you have problem as he can argue either that he did benefits in kind to add value to the house ( grass cutting, general tidying & maintenance) and now he can claim his interest in the property and have a finamcial claim on your house. Also - if you fall out, he dosn’t pay or you break up you now have to go down the road of getting rid of him out of your house - under the new covid emergency legislation this could be difficult or illegal or impossible .

You already have doubts and issues with him. Don’t darken the waters by allowing him stay over or becoming involved in your house - if
you buy one. I lnow several girls who have all been utterly f* over by totally unscrupulous bf’s or ex partners . It happpens to lot of men but I somehow find it shocking to see men playing this cowardly game - and it is happening A LOT - it is never newsworthy nor politically correct to run a media story about.

Money, unequal contribution to finances/ savings and different outlooks on spending and responsibility are HUGE issues in long term relationships. You are still young and it seems you are bringing these huge problems sown on yourself in a relationship that is already fractured and struggling because of attitudes to saving/ spending & very different outlooks.

. Personally , as the world economy is in total turmoil, I’d bank the money & hold on - unless you have a very stable gauranteed job - like permanent civil servant who cannot be fired and will continue to be pId regardless of sick
leave or performance - otherwise if you lose your job & can’t get another & can’t mKe the repayments you will lose not only the house but also all of your lump sum savings too. A real risk as entire industries and the global economy collapses.

As for your b/f you are too young to be having such a complicated l, difficult relationship with him that you can see only works better when you have some distance between yourself from him. He is still in teenager brain mode and you have moved up a notch - don’t let him cost you everything. It already sounds like friends is the way you may be heading - don’t let your lifes savings and that of your father/parents be sucked away or at risk because of him and a young relationship. What age is he - 23 or 24? You are right - he IS in a totally different headspace to you . and while it might be cosy or exciting to talk about and explore the house decorating and buying with him It is only after the breakup that things get nasty with money and houses - and a pre-nup is worthless in the eyes of the Irish law. You are taking giant steps with huge risks - simply because of him. There are good reasons people wait until they are equal partners to take such financial risks - having one person legally take ll the risk, put up all the cash and commit financially to a banking relationship that will possibly be the lingest relationship in their life - while th other has all the ‘entitlements’ , financial rewards and none of the responsibiliyy but all of the priveliges makes zero sense. Even though you love him. Even though his family are lovely and even though you’d love someone to share the good times with. In the eyes of the law you are going down a dark and highly risky rabbit hole where you have all the risk and everything to lose and he has everything to gain - even if he never pays in a penny and cheats on you and breaks up with you . You cannot walk away from a mortgage debt and there is no such thing as ‘handing back keys’ - if he claims common law husband or part ownership on your house you will either have to sell and give him half or borrow to give him half. Many have been stung & lives ruined by this.

qwerty13

If you really do want to buy a house, could you do that and then rent it out? Would that achieve your dream of buying, but also safeguard your asset? (I don’t know how stable the rental market is these days though)

Caranica

qwerty13 wrote: »

If you really do want to buy a house, could you do that and then rent it out? Would that achieve your dream of buying, but also safeguard your asset? (I don’t know how stable the rental market is these days though)

Renting it out is not a safeguard. Had 5 figures worth of damage to our house done by tenants and that wasn't even a third of the damage done to a friend's "pension" house. There's no guarantee that rent will be paid either, I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy.

OP if you want to buy a house and can, then buy a house. Inheritances could be very far off and even then, would you want to live in your father's house? Doesn't sound like a dream you have but having your own house definitely does. You're in an enviable position of being able to make your dream a reality. Go for it!

bobbyy gee

Covid should hit prices next year depending how bad covid is this winter

CageWager

JustAThought wrote: »

OP - the law was changed some years ago if your partner moves in with you he will be deemed by law after two years to automatically be your common law husband. Under this he will he entitled if he moves away, breaks up with you, cheats on you or you
throw him out etc regardless of what he promises now - in the eyes of the law he will he entitled to HALF the value of your home - even if he has never paid a penny towards anything and even if you still owe 25 year mortgage on it. My up the road neighbour came home to her inherited family home & found her partner in her bed with another woman cheating on her. She threw him out. Next thing she got legal oapers through the post demanding his ‘entitlements’ as
common law husband. She fought it through court and lost her home - he got half. Sickening.

If your bf moves in and pays rent - as a rent a
roomer, ensure he has a rent book and you sign it every month this gives you some chance, but not much. If he fails to pay the rent you have problem as he can argue either that he did benefits in kind to add value to the house ( grass cutting, general tidying & maintenance) and now he can claim his interest in the property and have a finamcial claim on your house. Also - if you fall out, he dosn’t pay or you break up you now have to go down the road of getting rid of him out of your house - under the new covid emergency legislation this could be difficult or illegal or impossible .

You already have doubts and issues with him. Don’t darken the waters by allowing him stay over or becoming involved in your house - if
you buy one. I lnow several girls who have all been utterly f* over by totally unscrupulous bf’s or ex partners . It happpens to lot of men but I somehow find it shocking to see men playing this cowardly game - and it is happening A LOT - it is never newsworthy nor politically correct to run a media story about.

Are men supposed to be somehow more “noble” than ye fair maidens and not play a “cowardly game”? Women have been pulling this stunt for time immemorial so as far as I can see whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

When a women fcuks over a guy for half his money the general consensus from other women is “you go girl”.

OP - any time you enter a marriage or common law marriage with assets you risk losing half on exiting the relationship. Either you are willing to take that leap of faith or you are not, but as many man are realising these days, marriage is a massive financial risk that isn’t worth taking. Simply put, the partner with no assets will always have a massive financial incentive to leave the relationship. It’s just interesting that it is starting to happen to women after all these years. Maybe the divorce courts will start to balance out now that it is impacting both genders.

Anyway, from a financial standpoint I wouldn’t recommend it - proceed with caution.

JustAThought

qwerty13 wrote: »

If you really do want to buy a house, could you do that and then rent it out? Would that achieve your dream of buying, but also safeguard your asset? (I don’t know how stable the rental market is these days though)

BAD idea - the homeowner has been trapped by the cowards in Dáil Éireann into a cycle of being reaponsible for everything and entitled to nothing - including the rent owed by contract - a tenant can sit in your house for two years, not honour their contract, not oay a penny rent, run up eyewaering household gas & LX bills and you will have zero rights to enter YOUR home, have to pay high court fees to evict them ( factor in bout 30+k) and in the meantime continue to pay the mortgage and the tear in advance taxbill on the rental DUE of 50%. I can’t believe you are suggeating this especially now that they have made it ILLEGAL to evict a tenant during the covid 19 epidemic up til quarter two of next year which might be changed again. In the meantime a tenant can draw social welfare, draw down rent allowance and multiple other state payments thT that coild use ( but decide to spend on drink instead) while all the owner can do is look on in horror from behind their garden fence.

The government has a huge amount to answer for - and the new baffoons are carrying on where their predecesors left off and letting tenants totally take the piss and away with murder and doing virtually nothing about it. Except send demands for taxbills for owning a home - and rent tax due - even if your tenant hasn’t paid a penny in years - as MANY including bak and law professionals who rent seem to think they are entitled to do while taking your asset , signing a contract and using it and whinging and running for their ‘rights’ every time a kettle breaks or they want a wall
painted because it looks tired.

We need to implement the kind of laws they have in the US or Australia - ir elsewhere - where immediately when the tent is not paid the police and city bailifs become involved and can summarily arrest and evict - taking a service without paying is stealing & a crime - as is wrecking a house and running up bills for services like gas and lx that you have used, owe and do not pay. We also
should have a register of damaging & defaulting tenants that is accessible to everyone - a warning list that specifies what they owed, for how long & the cost of damages done and price of repair - this country is a nonsense. No wonder professional student college places are now demanding a years rent up front and a second personal guarantor for damages/ bills and thousands in a deposit - they have read their market well.

ted1

Daisy78 wrote: »

My partner pays a small amount of rent but I pay the mortgage, bills and pay for any upkeep to the house. That’s the way I like it and it suits both of us. I have a number of friends who would have similar arrangements with their partners, i.e they own the property and he makes some contribution to the mortgage.

I would hate to be in a relationship like that. in a relationship one should be equal, not acting as a lodger

hayoc

CageWager wrote: »

Are men supposed to be somehow more “noble” than ye fair maidens and not play a “cowardly game”? Women have been pulling this stunt for time immemorial so as far as I can see whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

When a women fcuks over a guy for half his money the general consensus from other women is “you go girl”.

OP - any time you enter a marriage or common law marriage with assets you risk losing half on exiting the relationship. Either you are willing to take that leap of faith or you are not, but as many man are realising these days, marriage is a massive financial risk that isn’t worth taking. Simply put, the partner with no assets will always have a massive financial incentive to leave the relationship. It’s just interesting that it is starting to happen to women after all these years. Maybe the divorce courts will start to balance out now that it is impacting both genders.

Anyway, from a financial standpoint I wouldn’t recommend it - proceed with caution.

Despite the obvious misogyny its worth pointing out that the background to this is because traditionally women did not work after marriage in Ireland (marriage ban in the civil service which became a cultural norm) so could not advance a career after marriage - onto more modern times and simply because of biology women can miss out on career advancement when they have children. Particularly if the decision is made that one partner becomes a stay at home parent (to save on childcare fees etc). Its rarely the man who becomes the stay at home parent - although it does happen too.

The courts were seeing cases where unmarried long term couples broke up and the woman was basically ejected from the family home (that her name was not on) and cast aside with a lesser career when she had been the one to sacrifice her career for child rearing. So the cohabitation act was to put some legal support in place for this situation. Basically it recognises that contributions such as raising children, and contributing to the home in non tangible ways is also a contribution.

Its allows a cohabiting partner to seek redress if the couple have lived together for 5 years without children, 2 years if they do have children. The ability to seek redress does not automatically mean that they get anything, but they can seek it through the courts. In general the courts seem to recognise that it is unfair when 2 people contribute to a household and when the relationship breaks up that one person can be left with nothing despite having contributed to the household.

OP - you should speak to a solicitor before you move a boyfriend in to a property you own solely in your own name.

Dial Hard

JustAThought wrote: »

OP - the law was changed some years ago if your partner moves in with you he will be deemed by law after two years to automatically be your common law husband. Under this he will he entitled if he moves away, breaks up with you, cheats on you or you
throw him out etc regardless of what he promises now - in the eyes of the law he will he entitled to HALF the value of your home - even if he has never paid a penny towards anything and even if you still owe 25 year mortgage on it.

Sorry, but this is incorrect. First of all, we don't have common law spouses in Ireland. What we do have is the Civil Partnership/Cohabitants Act, but rights under that kick in after five years - it's only two if the couple have children together. And there is literally no provision anywhere in Irish law - marriage, cohabitation or otherwise - for an automatic right to 50% of anything. I have no idea why this idea is so widespread but it simply isn't the case. Any court adjudicating on the sale of a joint property will look at a number of factors before deciding on the proportion each party is entitled to.

Obviously it still makes sense to be practical about these things and protect yourself as much as possible but there's no point in scaring the living daylights out of people with information that's simply not correct either..

Smee_Again

JustAThought wrote: »

OP - the law was changed some years ago if your partner moves in with you he will be deemed by law after two years to automatically be your common law husband. Under this he will he entitled if he moves away, breaks up with you, cheats on you or you
throw him out etc regardless of what he promises now - in the eyes of the law he will he entitled to HALF the value of your home - even if he has never paid a penny towards anything and even if you still owe 25 year mortgage on it.

This is incorrect, why post this when it's obvious you have no idea what you're talking about?

Did you get your "information" from facebook or something?

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone who replied.

It is certainly worth looking for a legal opinion before moving anyone into my house in the event that I buy it. Maybe if I did he could stay there on weekends until things are more settled. Honestly I do not think he is a money grabber but of course I would have to be cautious. I feel like my mother has such a bad opinion of men that it is skewing my opinion. As I said she told me I would only be used since I was maybe 7/8. And I have thought this since even before I met my boyfriend. She has drilled into me that I can never get married because of the house my father owns (he inherited it and it would be a quite expensive house). I have said this to my father and he says you have to live your life regardless.

Maybe she expects me to go and look for a rich boyfriend who will buy me a house? I honestly don’t know what she expects me to do with my life. She is always expecting her partner to pay for everything. Any time she buys him anything it would be reduced and she will only spend a couple of euros. She told me to break up with my boyfriend once because I paid for a takeaway for us after he collected me from a night out.

My main issue is with my mother and her side of the family. She and they are such negative people. I am almost in tears writing this. They are so argumentative, they take offence to everything. They think everyone is out to use them and take something. There is fighting among them nearly everyday. My grandmother controls every aspect of my mother’s life and I would go as far to say she interfered so much in my mother’s life that she caused my parents separation when I was a toddler. My mother is in her 60s and if my grandmother tells her not to do something she won’t dare. Just recently she told her she can’t go on a holiday with her partner while my grandmother is alive. She even tells her what clothes to buy. My mother had a great job that she gave up nearly 15 years ago and hasn’t had one since. She is always at home and constantly is on the phone being very loud. She is very fussy about cleaning and making a mess. I feel sometimes I can’t even make myself a meal because she will be on my case about it. I can’t relax. I can bring my boyfriend into the house (only the sitting room) but when I was younger I was very rarely allowed to have friends in my house. I feel like I have never had a normal life.

I told her yesterday that her negativity was really affecting me. I said you never have anything nice to say and there is no mother-daughter relationship as such. She said she won’t speak to me anymore about anything and don’t tell her what is going on in my life.

My head is just wrecked from being around these people and listening to their constant bull. I am terrified that I am going to turn out like that. That’s why I am desperate to get out and move away. Being around them is giving me anxiety and is starting to affect my own relationship because I am in such bad form with my boyfriend. I honestly feel like I can’t relax and that history is going to repeat itself.

Hannibal_Smith

I think if you recognise it in your mother, you won't turn out like that. If your mother didn't recognise it in your grandmother, she's never going to see it in herself.

If she's so deep rooted in her bitterness you will gain nothing from trying to reason with her. Not everyone has an ideal mother/daughter relationship. It's not a guarantee and if striving for it only lands you in more misery, don't do it to yourself.

Your mother is who she is and her advice should be taken with a pinch of salt if it's coming from a place of such bitterness. To be fair to her on this occasion, the question that she's raised is worth getting legal advice on.

If you want to do something go do it, and if you need advice on it get it from some one who is more balanced.

Daisy78

ted1 wrote: »

I would hate to be in a relationship like that. in a relationship one should be equal, not acting as a lodger

We are equals?!! Just not in the sense of paying bills. But thanks for your unsolicited unwanted comment.

ted1

Daisy78 wrote: »

We are equals?!! Just not in the sense of paying bills. But thanks for your unsolicited unwanted comment.

not unsolicited, its relevant to the OPs issue. if you were toe break up he would get a claim on your house.
how are you equals if so get the say over the decor etc.

I pay the mortgage in our hour house, but its always being our house.

Daisy78

ted1 wrote: »

not unsolicited, its relevant to the OPs issue. if you were toe break up he would get a claim on your house.
how are you equals if so get the say over the decor etc.

I pay the mortgage in our hour house, but its always being our house.

Because I worked bloody hard to earn it that’s why!! I was the one that made sacrifices to save the deposit to buy it, I’m the one that works bloody hard to earn a higher salary to pay for it and it was my goal to buy on my own long before I met him. He knew that from day one, if he didn’t like it he could leave. He is on a minimum wage and there is no way he could contribute the same amount and has another mortgage to pay for on another house from a previous relationship but that’s another story. So you still think I’m being unreasonable?! And if I left him to sort out the decor the place would be a bloody mess. So no I don’t agree with your point, at all.

JustAThought

what was it Orwell had as a catchphrase in Animal Farm - all creatures are equal but some are more equal that others!! I agree - its all very well being holistic about things but as tou rightly say - 100% of the sacrifice, effort, risk and ambition are yours - you are right to
keep a tight reign to the finances and ownership ‘assumptions’ regardless of relationship or cosy
rosy glow when things are going right.

As for the OP - the family courts are
littered with broken promises and crushed dreams and bitterness and despaIr over money,
property and assumptions based on ‘love. Common Law/ Cohabitating/Unmarried - it all
boils down to someone elses claim on your savings and property depending of a legal roll of the dice and circumstances that may only become significant yers after it is too late to change them. Don’t go there. Your mom sounds extremely difficult and controlling - but she is right about having your own space and not moving a man in. Why not take a break from saving and rent a room in a shared house for a while - you won’t have the property price risk of buying in such an unpredictable financial climate, can keep you savings and sanity. It soundds like you need a break from her and your familys control. You are young and work hard - set yourself free - not with more stress and a mortgage and risky boyfriend situation but in a houseshare. You will aslo get some great experience and ideas of what you don’t want and would like when you buy - you’d be surprised at how handy it can be to have rented when you go to commit for a 20 or 30 year mortgage. Keep your savings and rent - leave your boyfriend out of it entirely. This is for you, not for him or his convenience. You sound like you need a break - not further stress and circumstances that will break you.

As for moving a young & not problem free bf in with you to your own place - don’t. I have too many friends who love and trust and brikej relationships and surprise pregnancies have totaLly financially destroyed - don’t let false optimism or hope blindside you - it is always a great and giddy adventire when you start - it NEVER ends well with unequal goals and unequal distribution of financial risk - particularly when you will he taking all the risk. Move out, don’t get a room with your bf, spread your wings and have the space & peace you deserve. Don’t complicate it for a half hearted bf in a different headspace & don’t allow a situation to arise where he will have a claim on your lifes savings and future. You are too young for that & need a break from that kind of pressure and stress.

[Deleted User]

If you are cohabiting for a number of years he could have a claim. Keeping a note of rent wont matter if he can demonstrate you were a couple.

If i was you I'd take a trip into a decent solicitor for advice. Might be the best couple of hundred euro you spend.

LegacyUser

I wouldn’t really consider my boyfriend a problem or risk. really. That’s not to say he mightn’t be in the future. Just that he hasn’t saved nearly as much as me and there was no talk of us buying a house. He didn’t encourage me. I am just thinking of something I could do. It’s not him personally, my mother says any man will be out to get me. As for my mother, I am just going to no longer get involved in arguments and keep to myself as much as possible.

Either way I have since found out can’t get enough of a loan for a mortgage so it won’t be happening! Thanks to everyone who replied.

ILoveYourVibes

Septemberhouse wrote: »

My head is just wrecked from being around these people and listening to their constant bull. I am terrified that I am going to turn out like that. That’s why I am desperate to get out and move away. Being around them is giving me anxiety and is starting to affect my own relationship because I am in such bad form with my boyfriend. I honestly feel like I can’t relax and that history is going to repeat itself.

Please don't make any financial decisions until you are in a more emotionally happy and stable time in your life.

Trust me.

I have seen people make huge mistakes this way.

OP this isn't an emotional decision. Its a financial one.

You have to think of it that way. Money can't have an emotional hold on you.

Its not a good thing its not a bad thing. Its just a thing. Its just a tool.

bobbyy gee

buying a house is a good idea you don't want to pay rent when retired

bertiebomber

i put my house in my mothers name and even though my boyfriend lived with me when he left he was saddened to find out it was not my house. men are the new women looking for a rich partner to feed off. Women always did it now these day s more and more men are looking for digs for sex !!

woodchuck

Mod warning:

@bertiebomber, gender generalisations are not welcome in PI. Please keep this in mind when posting in this forum.

bertiebomber

woodchuck wrote: »

Mod warning:

@bertiebomber, gender generalisations are not welcome in PI. Please keep this in mind when posting in this forum.

ok sorry just speaking from experience women always looked for rich men and now the tables have slightly turned fair is fair.