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Child Item

College and Gaming

John66

My son is about to start college and things are still a little up in the air about accomdation, money etc. I'm about an hour from cork and he wants to move out but so far I can't afford it and waiting until I get his time table as no point paying for accomdation if he is in only one day a week. The main thing is I have seen no interest from him getting any part time work or anything to assist us with paying for his new lifestyle apart from him emailing a few cv's to potential employers. In fact since he finished school earlier this year he has spent most of his time in his room playing computer games. His fascination and addiction to this form of entertainment seems to be increasing. I suppose like most teenagers he doesn't lift a finger at home and won't even empty the dishwasher unless asked and then it's a grumble but spends all his free time gaming. But I suppose the main thing I'm concerned about is him stating that if and when he leaves for college he wants to take his gaming system. And I'm thinking no way as what the f** with the amount of time you currently spend on it how can you study and work part time.

What are peoples opinion of students taking there gaming systems to college.

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FTA69

Well you’ve no choice really because he’s an adult at that stage, sounds like you’d be well shot of him for a while and he needs to find his own two feet.

Those computer games are an absolute plague, young man I live with does nothing but play them; he has his youngfella over at the weekend and he sits him in front of an iPad or the telly while he wiles away hours going goggle-eyed in front of Call of Duty.

Honest to god, whatever about occasional play but if I meet a fella who describes himself as “a gamer” or who honestly considers that masturbatory rubbish a real hobby I pretty much lose all respect for him.

JohnnyFlash

FTA69 wrote: »

Well you’ve no choice really because he’s an adult at that stage, sounds like you’d be well shot of him for a while and he needs to find his own two feet.

Those computer games are an absolute plague, young man I live with does nothing but play them; he has his youngfella over at the weekend and he sits him in front of an iPad or the telly while he wiles away hours going goggle-eyed in front of Call of Duty.

Honest to god, whatever about occasional play but if I meet a fella who describes himself as “a gamer” or who honestly considers that masturbatory rubbish a real hobby I pretty much lose all respect for him.

My youngest fella went through a phase of being hopelessly addicted to computer games. Screaming at his mother if she tried to get him to go to bed by shutting down the internet router. Talking into a headset like a moron. Even eating his dinner in front of the TV.

I worked out it wasn’t really the young lad’s fault. Those games are designed to be super addictive. The lad was an addict. I just didn’t want him turning into some sort of grotesque fat man-baby who sits around all day playing games and being a know-it-all on the web.

Ended up sort of having to detox him. Internet shut down in his mother’s house, no money from me, got him back playing a bit of hurling, made him go to a school dance, got him a job.

He’ll always be a bit of a nerd, but the tough love routine was successful. I didn’t want an adult neckbeard son.

pickarooney

John66 wrote: »

My son is about to start college and things are still a little up in the air about accomdation, money etc. I'm about an hour from cork and he wants to move out but so far I can't afford it and waiting until I get his time table as no point paying for accomdation if he is in only one day a week. The main thing is I have seen no interest from him getting any part time work or anything to assist us with paying for his new lifestyle apart from him emailing a few cv's to potential employers. In fact since he finished school earlier this year he has spent most of his time in his room playing computer games. His fascination and addiction to this form of entertainment seems to be increasing. I suppose like most teenagers he doesn't lift a finger at home and won't even empty the dishwasher unless asked and then it's a grumble but spends all his free time gaming. But I suppose the main thing I'm concerned about is him stating that if and when he leaves for college he wants to take his gaming system. And I'm thinking no way as what the f** with the amount of time you currently spend on it how can you study and work part time.

What are peoples opinion of students taking there gaming systems to college.

Contributing to running the house should not be on a voluntary basis. Kids need to be taught from a young age that their are tasks for everyone in the house which are appropriate to their age and that refusing to do them is not an option.

You appear to have failed in this basic parenting task, both with allowing your son to avoid work and not punishing him in any way. He is now unprepared for adult life and will likely be a poor relationship partner.

Now is not the time to scratch your head wondering if he'll be OK. You have a very short window to talk some sense into him.

Cookie_Monster

if he wants to move out and take the system who cares, let him.... just make sure there is no expectation of you paying for anything.

Personally I've never understood parent paying for kids college or related expenses, just go get a job.

FTA69

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

My youngest fella went through a phase of being hopelessly addicted to computer games. Screaming at his mother if she tried to get him to go to bed by shutting down the internet router. Talking into a headset like a moron. Even eating his dinner in front of the TV.

I worked out it wasn’t really the young lad’s fault. Those games are designed to be super addictive. The lad was an addict. I just didn’t want him turning into some sort of grotesque fat man-baby who sits around all day playing games and being a know-it-all on the web.

Ended up sort of having to detox him. Internet shut down in his mother’s house, no money from me, got him back playing a bit of hurling, made him go to a school dance, got him a job.

He’ll always be a bit of a nerd, but the tough love routine was successful. I didn’t want an adult neckbeard son.

I nearly pulled the head off the fella in my gaff. I remember I’d no lighter and knocked on his door to borrow one and he ripped it open like “what? I’m busy!!!” Around his room then were stacks of unwashed glasses and plates I could have slapped him clean across the face. On Sunday I was out the back with his kid digging potting beds and plucking tomatoes while he was dribbling into a headset. It’s definitely an addiction for a lot of people dressed up as a hobby; I’d be genuinely worried about the chap as he’s only 23 and will be made redundant soon due to the Covid carry on.

I think on future we’ll be seeing a lot of people retreat into these sort of hyper stimulating games.

The Mighty Quinn

I used to be a bit addicted to the old computer back when I was a young fella, we're talking mid 90s. Back then I had a Sega Master System, a precursor to the Mega Drive, it was even old by then, and I immersed myself in Sonic the Hedgehog, Batman, Alex Kidd and others.

My father saw the warning signs, said it was bad for me to be at that, I needed to get out and get some exercise and fresh air. He introduced a rule to the house that for every hour I was outside kicking a ball or climbing a tree, I could have a half hour at the computer.

At first I ended up spending 4+ hours outside running about and doing whatever to come in and have my 2 hours at the computer, but as time wore on I ended up playing the computer less and being outside more. By the early 2000s I had stopped playing games altogether, in my mid teens, just as many others were getting going.

I am so glad I never kept it up! Thanks Dad.

Pintman Paddy Losty

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

I used to be a bit addicted to the old computer back when I was a young fella, we're talking mid 90s. Back then I had a Sega Master System, a precursor to the Mega Drive, it was even old by then, and I immersed myself in Sonic the Hedgehog, Batman, Alex Kidd and others.

My father saw the warning signs, said it was bad for me to be at that, I needed to get out and get some exercise and fresh air. He introduced a rule to the house that for every hour I was outside kicking a ball or climbing a tree, I could have a half hour at the computer.

At first I ended up spending 4+ hours outside running about and doing whatever to come in and have my 2 hours at the computer, but as time wore on I ended up playing the computer less and being outside more. By the early 2000s I had stopped playing games altogether, in my mid teens, just as many others were getting going.

I am so glad I never kept it up! Thanks Dad.

Fair play to your dad.

I see men even in their thirties that still play these games, sometimes for hours at a time.

It's like seeing a grown man out drawing on the footpath in chalk or playing hopscotch. Very weird to be honest.

cruizer101

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

Personally I've never understood parent paying for kids college or related expenses, just go get a job.

Because parents care about their children and want to give them the best chance in life.

I'm all for getting a child to work but realistically for some courses it would be very hard to fully engage with the course and work enough to pay all your bills.

Far better to get a solid education and then be able to earn more.

[Deleted User]

Bit late now but a simple every hour outside doing something = one hour gaming works.

It works because it's simple.

The Mighty Quinn

mariaalice wrote: »

Bit late now but a simple every hour outside doing something = one house gaming works.

It works because it's simple.

You're generous compared to my dad haha, he implemented a 2:1 ratio.
Every hour outside was a half hour at the computer.

EmmetSpiceland

John66 wrote: »

But I suppose the main thing I'm concerned about is him stating that if and when he leaves for college he wants to take his gaming system. And I'm thinking no way as what the f** with the amount of time you currently spend on it how can you study and work part time.

What are peoples opinion of students taking there gaming systems to college.

I guess it comes down to whole owns the gaming “system”. If he bought it, with his own money, there’s no a lot you can do really but if you paid for it then you’ll have more “say” on where it goes.

I remember from my time studying at UCD there would be some people living with lads who’d have a console in the accommodation. They usually fell into 2 “groups”, one lot would have the condor in the main living space and the other would have it in their own room.

The first lot were generally stoners who’d sit in smoking “joints” and playing Golden Eye, GTA or Medal of Honour. They didn’t wash or change their clothes very often.

The other crowd you’d rarely see, and even you did you’d wish you hadn’t. They’d either be overweight, smelly, sporting a pubey chin beard, have bald ruddy cheeks and greasy hair or they’d be very thin with a grey pallor, sunken eyes, and bad breath. They would also have, worrying, “issues” with women.

Always felt bad for the people I knew who were forced to live with them. The real “fear” here is that your son could be like them.

My advice to you would be to force him to make his bed every morning. It’s a very small thing but it could really “spark” a change in him. Try not to fight but do, clearly, explain where you’re coming from.

Hopefully there’s still time to set him straight. It’s time he grew up and went out into the world and not to get locked into some angry man-child nightmare where he ends up “collecting” toys and keeping one of those big Star Trek swords above his PC.

I don’t envy your “task”, I’m guessing there will be lots of tantrums ahead but you have to do what’s best for the young man.

Hyperbollix

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

I see men even in their thirties that still play these games, sometimes for hours at a time.

It's like seeing a grown man out drawing on the footpath in chalk or playing hopscotch. Very weird to be honest.

It's 2020, there's a whole generation of adults in the world now who've grown up with computers and consoles and continue to play games. Is a person who plonks themselves in front of the tv every evening to watch hours of soaps or reality TV better than someone who spends a couple of hours gaming? As long as it's all in moderation and doesn't become a problem, what's the harm?

pickarooney

Wtf is with the "quotes"?

[Deleted User]

Half the people who complain about this sort of thing are the types that plonk themselves in front of tv after a days work and watch endless hours of Love Island or whatever ****e that's constantly on. It's not called the Idiot Box for no reason.

Feisar

pickarooney wrote: »

Wtf is with the "quotes"?

You're the writing Mod, you tell me!

ancapailldorcha

Deleted User wrote: »

Half the people who complain about this sort of thing are the types that plonk themselves in front of tv after a days work and watch endless hours of Love Island or whatever ****e that's constantly on. It's not called the Idiot Box for no reason.

In fairness, I don't think many younger people watch television any more.

When I was at Uni, there was no shortage of people who just spent their days drinking Dutch Gold, on Bebo and later Facebook or just pissing away their time in other ways.

It's odd seeing gaming get slagged off while bingeing on Love Island or screaming obscenities at foreign millionaires kicking a ball around are all grand. I never play online multiplayer games as I just can't be holed spending the amount of time at it to beat the sorts of people who do nothing else with their time.

dotsman

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Fair play to your dad.

I see men even in their thirties that still play these games, sometimes for hours at a time.

It's like seeing a grown man out drawing on the footpath in chalk or playing hopscotch. Very weird to be honest.

Wow, you really seem to be behind the times. Are you very old or something? Or from Cavan?

It is not that there are "even men in their thirties", the average age is thirties. And while not very common in Ireland, as they are a little behind, there are a lot more females playing than you probably expect.

Nor is video games akin to "hopscotch". Most video games are unsuitable for children, (be it from a complexity level, interest, or sex & violence etc) with the majority of main titles in a given year aimed at adults only. In fact, with twitch and e-sports etc, more and more children are spending time watching adults play rather than play themselves (makes no sense to me, but they probably learn from their parents and view it the same as "watching tv").

Other than the "potential for addiction" (which is real), playing video games is far better for a person than "watching tv". Depending on the game, their brain is typically far more active, potentially socialising and they are actually engaged, rather than siting there soaking up whatever crap is being shoved down their throat. And, apparently, there are even people in their 40's (and older) who watch TV. It's like watching grown adults suck on a soother and $hit their pants.

Not only is video gaming the biggest entertainment sector, it is bigger than both the music industry and movie industry combined! And growing at an exponential rate.

freshpopcorn

Your son is at the age now where he is off to college.
From what I remember some lads brought PlayStations or Xbox’s and there was lots of FIFA tournaments. So even if you take his away he’ll have access to them easy enough.
Be prepared for him to be lounging around an apartment or a house for days and hours drinking, the place been messy and everything else even if you keep his system at home.
Not sticking up for the lad but it’s sort of hard to get a part time job now especially this Summer.
I know of one place and 400 applied for 20 jobs.
Also you’ve to sort of get a kid/teenager into doing jobs around the house/cooking over the years but most people manage at college at the end of the day.
Will coming down all strict do much now. I doubt it to be honest unless you want to fall out with him.

Feisar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

being a know-it-all on the web.

:pac::pac::pac:

Church on Tuesday

Certain posters here have this weird fascination with gamers and gaming whilst all the time harping on here about their imaginary would be man child kids on their various alt accounts.

Which is quite "ironic" when you think about it.

freshpopcorn

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Certain posters here have this weird fascination with gamers and gaming whilst all the time harping on about their imaginary would be man child kids kids on their various alt accounts.

Which is quite "ironic" when you think about it.

I never got into PlayStation but I find some of the posters against gaming hilarious.
They probably sit at home and watch the news/prime time all day in a pair of black trousers, black shoes, formal shirt and feel better than everybody else. Whilst complaining about people watching TV/playing games.

Church on Tuesday

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I never got into PlayStation but I find some of the posters against gaming hilarious.
They probably sit at home and watch the news/prime time all day in a pair of black trousers, black shoes, formal shirt and feel better than everybody else. Whilst complaining about people watching TV/playing games.

More like pot bellied and beat into a Liverpool shirt. :rolleyes:

Not that there's anything wrong with shirts.

Or gaming for that matter.

jaxxx

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I never got into PlayStation but I find some of the posters against gaming hilarious.
They probably sit at home and watch the news/prime time all day in a pair of black trousers, black shoes, formal shirt and feel better than everybody else. Whilst complaining about people watching TV/playing games.

"Video games are for kids".

Then why are some video games rated 18+?

Stupid old dinosaurs being stupid old dinosaurs. It's just another form of entertainment. Do you enjoy collecting stamps? Good for you, I don't understand it myself but I'm not gonna criticise another form of entertainment because I don't see the entertainment value in it myself.

I'm 30. I play games on the PC. Will do so until I die. I get entertainment from them; creative/builder/strategy games, no interest in all these war/shooting ones.

Except of course for reality TV.. .. .. that sh*t needs to be obliterated from existence. All these airhead "celebs" like Kardasitwats or whatever you call them, not that I blame them really; they're only taking advantage of a niche market. Are peoples lives this empty that they need to be so obsessed with the lives of z list celebs?

EmmetSpiceland

A big problem with the “gaming” thing is how it’s now becoming a vehicle for advertisers to suck people in.

Back in the day there were shows like ‘Gamesmaster’, ‘Bits’, ‘Gamesville’ and, even, ‘Thumb Bandits’. Shows that reviewed games and had a bit of “game play” in them.

Now, you’ve got these ridiculous big tournaments where gawky kids “compete” against one another on some console game.

I actually cancelled my Sky Sports a few months back because I was sick of seeing these computer game “matches” and remote control helicopter racing on there.

Obviously, I resubscribed when the Premiership restarted but the point stands.

FTA69

Just because someone criticises the concept of endlessly playing computer games as a hobby doesn’t mean they then think that watching reality TV for hours on end is grand; both are equally destructive and brain rotting in my eyes.

Likewise I never said the act of playing computer games in itself made someone an oddball; I said listing ‘gaming’ as a hobby and playing them for hours a day is usually the sign of someone with personal deficiencies and it’s a terrible habit to get into.

[Deleted User]

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A big problem with the “gaming” thing is how it’s now becoming a vehicle for advertisers to suck people in.

Back in the day there were shows like ‘Gamesmaster’, ‘Bits’, ‘Gamesville’ and, even, ‘Thumb Bandits’. Shows that reviewed games and had a bit of “game play” in them.

Now, you’ve got these ridiculous big tournaments where gawky kids “compete” against one another on some console game.

I actually cancelled my Sky Sports a few months back because I was sick of seeing these computer game “matches” and remote control helicopter racing on there.

Obviously, I resubscribed when the Premiership restarted but the point stands.

I forgot people like you still exist

JohnnyFlash

The weirdest bit of the entire adult gamer subculture is that loads of them not only play games for 30 hours a week, but they also watch other lads play games on the internet as well.

The same lads who automatically assume that if you watch a bit of telly then you are watching Love Island.

GLaDOS

I wish I had the time to get hours and hours of gaming in

Potatoeman

I played too much in my late teens. Didn’t have time when I went to college as I had to get a job too. At that age it depends what their friends are doing. I was always into strategy games and it really helped my math. What happens at college will depend on the crowd he falls in with. If you want to get him into a sport/exercise then you need to find something that interests him. I got into martial arts, cycling and weights because that’s what my friends were into, absolutely no interest in football even though my Dad really tried to push me towards it.

ancapailldorcha

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

The weirdest bit of the entire adult gamer subculture is that loads of them not only play games for 30 hours a week, but they also watch other lads play games on the internet as well.

The same lads who automatically assume that if you watch a bit of telly then you are watching Love Island.

No weirder than watching the EPL or the Champions League screaming at the TV IMO. No better than Love Island as far as I can tell.