pinktoe wrote: » Harsh but get rid of her. Imagine your life when MIL gets sick (genuine or fake), herself will give up job to look after her. Giving her a choice of you or her mother will only be a temporary fix.
JJayoo wrote: » She will be moving in with you soon
Purple Mountain wrote: » You're a grown man hiding out in your own house? Is your mother in law currently visiting you in Dublin then? Where is she staying tonight?
Milsawagon wrote: » I text the missus it's a choice between our marriage or the mother
Milsawagon wrote: » Get rid of the missus? I'm currently hiding in my room as the mil launched into a tirade again 'wouldn't it be nice if you lived down the road or across the field' I won't be visiting again ever. Next time I'll see her is at the wedding, that's if it goes ahead. I text the missus it's a choice between our marriage or the mother
Pawwed Rig wrote: » As opposed to talking to her?? This does not sound like a very mature relationship. Neither of you seem able to be behave in an adult manner with respect to this issue. You seriously moved just to try and keep your girlfriends mother happy? You both need to have a long hard think about what matters to each of you and what you want from life. Testing ultimatums is no way to run a relationship.
pinktoe wrote: » Going out with someone who has an abusive mother means the mother clicks her fingers and little girl comes running. Imagine living across the field, every Sunday having dinner at their house after working a full week and no getting out of it. Imagine family relatives coming to visit and the mother would just say "oh sure you can stay with my daughter and husband for a week, sure he can take a week off work and drive ye around the place". I'd be running but it's only you who can make and live with the choice. In your opening post, your second last line says it all. If ye built a house it would probably be the mother telling ye what furniture to buy and what colours to paint it.
Rubberchikken wrote: » Is she separated long? Have you known her a while? Sorry for the questions but I'm wondering if she's always been like this or is it a new thing. Is there any way all three of you could sit down and discuss this like adults. Her behavior is affecting your life and your future wife's life and may get worse with age and grandchildren.
Idle Passerby wrote: » You haven't mentioned your fiances position on this, that's going to be a big decider on whether the marriage has any chance. I'm assuming, since your giving ultimatums that she's fine with her mother's demands. If that's the case I wouldn't have high hopes. Either way, you throwing a sulk and hiding in a bedroom in someone else's house, throwing out ultimatums is really immature. If I was your girlfriend I'd be mortified. It's not going to win you any brownie points with her or her family.
Milsawagon wrote: » I've had this talk with her so many times now and that's when we came to a compromise. But I agree some hard thinking is required
Pawwed Rig wrote: » No point in giving ultimatums if they are meaningless. You know what you have to do here
Purple Mountain wrote: » Your partner wants ye to move somewhere where you can't even get a job? OK I get it if your partner is very unhappy in Dublin and wants to get back to the country. But if she's only compromising to please her mother and is taking ye both away from your income, then come on, open your eyes! They're both running your life.
Milsawagon wrote: » Yes it is the back arse of nowhere, nó jobs for me except for Dublin. The compromise is a 1.5hr commute to Dublin
Gruffalox wrote: » How are your complex health needs going to respond to 3 hours daily in a car commuting? How could you ever rear children with this level of outside manipulation? I would postpone marriage and see if ye can live happily as independent people who broker no interference from the MIL, and if it looks like that cannot happen, then have a serious think about things.
