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What's the craic with Tinder?

[Deleted User]

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

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unhappys10

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

Could be the case, but I don't think so

Maybe they have become more shallow/jaded it's been on the go a while now?
Got my fair share of no replies and rejections too but I mostly avoided the obviously shallow ones.
Some of the profiles were hilarious, must be 6'2 and she'd be 5 foot nothing, must have a car, must have a good job. Like we all want what we want but a lot of them were just obviously shallow, best avoided!
Used to be decent girls on it too but it's been a number of years since I was on it, could be different now.

Ultrflat

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

There is a thing called sense of humor and personality.

banie01

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Was out tonight and my friend's girlfriend insisted on me joining it since I'm single since last year. A shlte photo, no bio, nothing. She took the phone and went wild.

How does it even all work? I have a notification already about some Like that is asking me to pay money every month to see who likes me. Seems pretty absurd. She swiped on everything for the craic and started a conversation with some girl as well who I am guessing isn't even real.

I genuinely don't know anything about this. Some of my friends get the ride out of it but is it worth pursuing for something more serious?

You're a white dude living in S.E Asia aren't you?

If you need tinder to get your hole after the recent break up?
You're doing the hole Ex-pat thing wrong

Elessar

Brian Hartman wrote: »

Either you're far better looking than you think, or the girls on Tinder have become much more shallow.

I used to do quite well in real life but never had any luck online.

He's right though. Don't send a "Hey how are you?" message because every guy sends that. I've used the same opening line with almost every match and it gets a laugh (no I'm not telling you

). I'm certainly not a 6ft tall stud but I decent pictures up that show me having a good time.

But I've also found that getting matches can be a feast or a famine i.e. there will be times I won't get any decent matches for weeks at a time. Then bam I'll get a rake of them. Maybe that's just me.

Church on Tuesday

gilberto_eire wrote: »

There has definitely been a shift in how women are using it.

It's full of girls who are absolute stunners. Their pictures show an active social life. Which means between the countless men asking them on dates when they're on nights out, they're getting 100s of messages a week.

When you see lots of these same girls there over a year later you start to wonder as they are getting their pick of 100s of men.

These things originally were used by people who had very few social circles to meet or of lesser looks.
They're just overtaken by Love Island hopefuls looking to spread their IG and SC usernames.

My whole take on dating sites is that what will work for some won't work for others.

As I have already said, there are loads of women (and men) that are on these sites just to pass the time, many women (and men) have no intention in even going on dates, and that's fine.

You always seem to get two distinct camps when threads like these crop up;

1. those who are adamant that dating sites are the only way to go just because they happened to luck out and meet their future spouse on it so they are biased.

and

2. the men and sometimes women who post here who seem angry or bitter or upset about lack of "success" with online dating.

It's the people in the second camp I feel sorry for and no doubt when they read testimonials from the people from the first camp it only makes them feel worse. That's actually a very real thing that is happening with people were they feel that they are not good enough or good looking enough in the social media age and it's tragic.

I would implore anyone who feels that way reading over this thread to realize that these sites are a numbers game, pure algorithms if you will, essentially a lucky dip and are not a realistic reflection of a persons particular attraction level or self worth.

I would highly recommend that people try dating in real time. If you are shy or socially awkward, great then give Tinder and the likes a go and try have fun with it, but don't go in with any great expectations. And certainly do not think the issue is with you when you are dealing with platform/s where a certain kind of superficiality is key.

Brian Hartman

There are far more men on dating sites than women, women only rate the top 20% of men as attractive...these are not good odds for the aspiring player.

Go out and meet women irl. Or go to Asia and just be white.

fran38

mick087 wrote: »

Its a dating app people use it to meet for dates and form relationships.
I hear people talking about this and plenty in fish and bumble.

I guess its the way folk meet these days, the days of asking for a slow dance at the end of the night have gone

Especially since the 'slow dance' went out around the time of USA'94

fran38

Brian Hartman wrote: »

There are far more men on dating sites than women, women only rate the top 20% of men as attractive...these are not good odds for the aspiring player.

Go out and meet women irl. Or go to Asia and just be white.[/QUOTE

Looking at a lot of youtube vlogs from fellas who've went to Thailand 'to work' and managed to get hitched to local stunners. Way to go for average 50s white guy i think lol

BorneTobyWilde

SusieBlue wrote: »

I met my ex of 4 years on tinder. Whether you are looking for something serious or more casual, you will find it there. It isn’t just for hook ups or for the ultra good looking people at all.

al87987

2 of my friends met their wives on tinder and I'm living in Mexico city with my fiancee who i met on tinder also. App changed my life completely, we'll wait to see if it was for better or worse

riclad

It's a dating app, you swipe write on someone, if they swipe on you, you,ll get a message person X would like to message you etc
The days of just meeting a girl in a bar or a club
are nearly over. Your mileage may vary. It's like life, being good looking, well dressed etc helps.

It's better to put basic info on your profile.
Hobbys, interests etc
To attract someone who might have something in common with you. I do, nt think there's any stigma now to using a dating app. Even rich and famous people use them

[Deleted User]

riclad wrote: »

Even rich and famous people use them

Some of them get blocked, I'd say that happens a lot.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50946431

Actress Sharon Stone says she was blocked from the dating app Bumble.

The online platform said there had been several reports of a fake profile, the 62-year-old posted on Twitter.

ChikiChiki

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'm guessing you are a woman?

Yes, for some people it's grand, for the vast majority it's a waste of time. A person is far better dating in real life IMO.

It depends what you are looking to get out of it.

Not really much of an option nowadays is it with people more socially apart. Tinder etc are the way forward for the next while.

misstearheus

Have yet to pop the old Tinder Cherry. Can't remember when I signed up to it, would say I'm not far off a year on it. Matches here n' there but big reluctance from guys to actually take the next step and meet!

PS: Anyone know what's up with POF for the last week?!? I've matched with I'd say about 7/8 matches over past few days that I definitely didn't click on or like! It's a tad strange.

[Deleted User]

It's pretty boring so far. Matched with five women and talked a bit with two of them. Definitely will take some getting used to.. This is my first time dating in over eight years. Was on a bit of date last week with an American girl I know and she said she hates the online thing.

[Deleted User]

Tinder c.2013-15 was some of my best times on the internet. It was like Marco Polo wandering the Silk Road.

unhappys10

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Tinder c.2013-15 was some of my best times on the internet. It was like Marco Polo wandering the Silk Road.

Exactly the 2 years I did my best work on it

[Deleted User]

What changed?

JustAThought

People in work use it - when ‘workin’ - you’d see a group clustered around a desk and oohs and nooo’s and general excitement - swiping to say they’re interested & then having the craic for a few minutes. I know a few have gone on dates wuth people they would never have met otherwise and sure its almost as random as meeting someone drunk at a bar.

I would say there are 2 vulnerable
men in work both of whom have been burned badly by it - found online ‘love’ and been
infatuated with someone who wants a long distance visa marriage, and one has sent money and gone to the airport twice fo meet their down on their luck never yet arrived or seen online girlfriend ...:(

I gather its often used a a booty call between consenting adults - bit of a sad state for society but like anything if used well can have positive outcomes even if short term.

OP - you’d really want to have a photo up or it will never work for you and put some info in - would you date an invisible ghost? !! Give it a go.

unhappys10

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What changed?

I'd say it's a combination of things.
If there are any new apps the younger generation not old enough to be on it back then would jump on those.

I think it's a paid subscription now.

People who would have been on it back then either found what they wanted or became fed up with it, especially women who were bombarded daily with messages from weirdos.

Also, I don't know if this is the case, but if it went the way of other social apps such as Instagram it is probably riddled with bots.

Limpy

On a scale of 1 to 10 how close are the women to there profile pictures, looks wise?

unhappys10

Limpy wrote: »

On a scale of 1 to 10 how close are the women to there profile pictures, looks wise?

It varies, some are the same, some are nothing alike and anything in between.

I met one girl on it, between her and her photos there was a difference of about 10 years and 10 stone*

Needless to say I made a quick escape.

*10 stone may be a slight exaggeration.

JustAThought

unhappys10 wrote: »

It varies, some are the same, some are nothing alike and anything in between.

I met one girl on it, between her and her photos there was a difference of about 10 years and 10 stone*

Needless to say I made a quick escape.

*10 stone may be a slight exaggeration.

Filters and photoshop apps don’t help with the truth either!! Any pic taken from above is going to take a lot of fat off a face and should be taken with a large dose of salts!!

B.A._Baracus

Tinder, pof and what not are great for woman - lots of attention and mails. Downside is you get a lot of guys looking for sex etc.

The aforementioned apps and sites are horrible for men. Like all these things are 80% (even more?) populated by men. Average guy can send out 50 messages and be lucky to get one mail.

Yes there are success stories but they are in the minority. See on paper dating sites shouldn't make money when you think about it. As if it was easy to meet somebody there wouldn't be as many returning users (those who genuinely want relationships as they get involved) and you wouldn't be paying the site for more messages (for those looking for hook ups)

See years ago dating websites like another friend had a membership only to send messages. Make their money up front. It was uncharted territory back then. Some websites still have that modal but the major ones like tinder, pof etc offer you free messages and likes.

Because they can dangle the carrot of "meeting someone" - they're just around the corner you just need to send out more messages etc. So that premium package looks tempting. It's all balls tho :pac:
But you can understand their business modal because, as said above, if it was so easy to get a date or sex they'd be closed shops. Membership only. Pay before you click send. It's not that tho.

... Cause 80% are blokes lol... Not to mention the baggage of people ... The weirdos ... The window shoppers... The ego boosters. Etc.

unhappys10

JustAThought wrote: »

Filters and photoshop apps don’t help with the truth either!! Any pic taken from above is going to take a lot of fat off a face and should be taken with a large dose of salts!!

Yeh spotted that early about the photos from above, similar to the tip of an iceberg above the water

This one just used photos that had to have been 10 years older, either that or they were of her younger, slimmer better looking sister.

An Australian friend of mine calls them decepticons!

kapisko1PL

I met my wife on tinder LOL

Limpy

Most bio's for the women state no ONS ect. Id say a large % of men Just want the ride. From using other apps back in the day the women who stated no one night stands were the most gamey.

Mr. CooL ICE

Went on a total of 3 dates through online apps. Last one is my girlfriend with whom we have one child and another on the way. So yeah, they can work.

I chatted to a handful more but you know soon enough if it's possible or not to build a rapport or not. If somebody is there to waste time, it's up to you to realise that and not indulge them.

Feisar

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Tinder, pof and what not are great for woman - lots of attention and mails. Downside is you get a lot of guys looking for sex etc.

The aforementioned apps and sites are horrible for men. Like all these things are 80% (even more?) populated by men. Average guy can send out 50 messages and be lucky to get one mail.

Yes there are success stories but they are in the minority. See on paper dating sites shouldn't make money when you think about it. As if it was easy to meet somebody there wouldn't be as many returning users (those who genuinely want relationships as they get involved) and you wouldn't be paying the site for more messages (for those looking for hook ups)

See years ago dating websites like another friend had a membership only to send messages. Make their money up front. It was uncharted territory back then. Some websites still have that modal but the major ones like tinder, pof etc offer you free messages and likes.

Because they can dangle the carrot of "meeting someone" - they're just around the corner you just need to send out more messages etc. So that premium package looks tempting. It's all balls tho :pac:
But you can understand their business modal because, as said above, if it was so easy to get a date or sex they'd be closed shops. Membership only. Pay before you click send. It's not that tho.

... Cause 80% are blokes lol... Not to mention the baggage of people ... The weirdos ... The window shoppers... The ego boosters. Etc.

As said above 2013-15 was some sort of golden age. "Marco Polo wandering the silk road." Not sure exactly what that means but it seemed like anything one wanted was there for the taking.

Man Vs ManUre

I tried to join tinder once but it refused me saying I was too good looking that I would cause havoc with the women on the site. I told my missus this the first night I met her in a bar years ago and she was well impressed we been together since.