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Things you find in Irish rental properties

Ubbquittious

*The obligatory black leather couch, badly worn and quite possibly damaged

*All the old cutlery the owner wanted to get rid of and a selection of cheap Chinese chef knives that won't cut butter no matter how much you heat them

*Storage heaters. Preferably taken from another house and wired into the day rate electricity because ah shur feck it the tenant is paying for it anyway.

*Some fellas crack pipe thrown up on top of the built in fridge freezer (only in Posh gaff)

*A bunkbed under the stairs with the top bunk only suitable for a midget but still costing nearly 1k a month to rent (only in Dublin)

*An extractor fan in a bathroom with no windows thats full of brown dust and cobwebs

*Mould everywhere

please add your own entries to this list

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end of the road

floors, doors, windows, a roof.

punisher5112

Corona bottles and virus in every possible nook and cranny....

Eduard Khil

One interfering neighbour who thinks they're the landlord or maintenance person for the building

Purple Mountain

A broken tile on the bathroom floor.

KevRossi

Windows with condensation streaming down the inside.

Net curtains everywhere, worn carpets from Des Kelly in 1991, dripping taps, sinks covered in a 3mm layer of unmovable scum.

Cooker with the old spiral rings that take 15 minutes to warm up a small tin of beans, toaster that gives you a small shock every time you touch it.

About 30 Kg of uncollected post, most of it demands from credit card companies from 2007/8.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Magnolia walls.

Purple Mountain

A shelf of dusty old telephone directories.

[Deleted User]

a crying chair..

somewhere to sit and sob your heart out when you look at your crappy surroundings

JupiterKid

Massively oversized furniture that takes up 90% of the living room space, in very very dated chintzy floral print coverings.

punisher5112

Beds from the 80s with bed bugs a given....

Toilet never been washed.

Trigger Happy

Wondering what that smell is everytime the solitary radiator in your bedsit kicks in?

Probably someone else's dirty underwear down the back of the radiator.

the purple tin

Chipped and cracked old teacup with roses on it. Never a matching saucer

Creaky floorboard.

Cross between an armchair and a kitchen chair. Ancient, lovely shade of brown or grey, wooden armrests with cigarette burns, springs gone to Hell,when you sit in it you sink down until your bum is almost on the floor.

Disgusting old towel, stained and rough as sandpaper.

Mystery stains.

Big heavy ashtray stolen from a pub, with a beer logo on it.

Dead flys on windowsills.

Filthy windows that you can barely see through.

whisky_galore

A constantly blocking sink, can't undo U bend and fix because some idiot handyman plastered in the pedestal making it irremovable.

Cheap tables made of sawdust from a skip at the back of Ikea.

Prehistoric immersion systems supplying the showers in 2000s built apartments.

Fascinating mould cultures. One place I was shown around you wouldn't keep a dog in it. Don't know how property agent kept a straight face. Entry to apartment was via a short steep flight of stairs reminding me of an entrance to a hen house.

Paper thin walls. Can hear neighbours going about their business.

Leaking bedroom ceiling, stain could be interpreted as an image of Jesus.

punisher5112

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Wondering what that smell is everytime the solitary radiator in your bedsit kicks in?

Probably someone else's dirty underwear down the back of the radiator.

Mainly dead skin I'd say...

the purple tin

Crappy antique fridge-freezer that you can hear from your bedroom. The freezer compartment on top is encased in solid ice with a tiny slot of space that will just about let you cram in a packet of fish fingers.

Several kilos of fat and grease in the oven and grill.

Sums or measurements written on the wall in pencil by some tradesman.

A hole punched in a stud wall.

A sock.

the purple tin

Picture of the Pope. John Paul.

Rodney Bathgate

HAP recipients? (Not all properties obviously)

Rodney Bathgate

Traffic cone if student accommodation

padd b1975

A collection of empty wine bottles on top of the kitchen presses.

A rug nailed to the sitting room wall.

sheepondrugs

Grass aboUt 3 feet tall in the back garden. A mattress and piles of empty cans & bottles submerged in the grass.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Ubbquittious wrote: »

*The obligatory black leather couch, badly worn and quite possibly damaged

*All the old cutlery the owner wanted to get rid of and a selection of cheap Chinese chef knives that won't cut butter no matter how much you heat them

*Storage heaters. Preferably taken from another house and wired into the day rate electricity because ah shur feck it the tenant is paying for it anyway.

*Some fellas crack pipe thrown up on top of the built in fridge freezer (only in Posh gaff)

*A bunkbed under the stairs with the top bunk only suitable for a midget but still costing nearly 1k a month to rent (only in Dublin)

*An extractor fan in a bathroom with no windows thats full of brown dust and cobwebs

*Mould everywhere

please add your own entries to this list

It’s nitpick time. On the first bolded point, why aren’t you bringing your own cutlery and knives? Those things don’t need to be provided. On the second bolded point, you’re supposed to clear that fluff from the extractor fan. It’s remarkably easy to do.

wassie

Old boilers that suck so much kero they contribute more to climate change than Bord na Mona.

Bits_n_Bobs

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

It’s nitpick time. On the first bolded point, why aren’t you bringing your own cutlery and knives? Those things don’t need to be provided. On the second bolded point, you’re supposed to clear that fluff from the extractor fan. It’s remarkably easy to do.

Yet the landlord insists on including them and then itemises each piece of cutlery to deduct against deposit...

Also as it is remarkably easy to remove fluff from extractor fan, why doesn't the landlord do this before tenant moves in? Either way, the fans are a waste of time and electricity, running a good dehumidifier more or les 24/7 is the only way to keep crappy Irish apartments dry.

punisher5112

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

Traffic cone if student accommodation

Bus stop
Garda hat
For sale sign.

buried

Hairclips

Hairclips

Hairclips

All under the obligatory black leather couch when you have to look under it to see where the f**king thing has collapsed on its arse

odyssey06

Weird housemate.

Rodney Bathgate

punisher5112 wrote: »

Bus stop
Garda hat
For sale sign.

We nabbed one of the road works flashing lights in a drive by. Put it back a few days later as it wouldn’t stop flashing.

[Deleted User]

punisher5112 wrote: »

Bus stop
Garda hat
For sale sign.

Election poster

ChikiChiki

Doors with no locks or the key has been lost and the landlord couldn't be arsed replacing it.

buried

Rattly Washing machines that jump up and down more times than Michael Jordan ever did