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Child Item

What’s the most pissed you’ve ever got?

CBear1993

Just a few instances I’m not proud of:

Went to school formal (debs as ye call It down here)
Mid 70s Granny happened to be staying over that night - came home and sleepwalked/blind drunk walked into the spare room she was staying in and preceded to empty the contents of my bladder with my lad on show all over the carpet at the side of the bed. Mother informed me about a week later, of which I was oblivious to, needless to say it’s never been brought up in conversation.

Another involved a stag in Barcelona ...

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padd b1975

partyguinness wrote: »

Got so hammered about 10 years ago ended up in a gay bar (with work colleagues) and woke up the next morning 30 miles from naked in some strange guys bed with like 10 missed calls and angry text messages from my heavily pregnant wife....:o

Honest to God have no recollection of what happened and still don't. Spent the next day trying to make my way back home while dry wretching on the train.

How was your gait?

dmc17

L1011 wrote: »

I woke up in a different country.

It was actually two days later and after the initial "what the actual **** am I doing in Prestwick Airport?" moment most of the weekend came back to me. I'd agreed to go to a gig in Glasgow when at a gaff party after a Friday night out (with a pile of Glaswegians who were going home the next day anyway in attendance), flew there on the Saturday morning flight, went to the gig on Saturday night and was driven to the airport by one of the Glaswegians girlfriends. Apparently I'd actually been fine the entire way through until the camels back was broken with Buckfast *after* the gig in Glasgow and I conked out.

That I was entirely intact, with a charged phone and a present but financially depleted wallet; wearing new clothes - I clearly didn't bring two changes of clothes with me to a gaff party so just bought more in Glasgow - and a new backpack for the other clothes just added to the initial "what the actual ****" thing.

I think there's a Celine Dion song about the ten minutes I spent remembering it all while having some grub.

I was 19 at the time, so the hangover was surprisingly fine even flying back on a prop plane.

Feisar

I thought my twenties were pretty wild at times, jaysus I was at nothing.

grayzer75

Me and a mate coming home from the pub blocked and seen a red glow and smoke at the back of a neighbours house which we thought was on fire - we kicked the front door off the hinges to get everyone out but it turns out they were having a bbq in the back yard ffs.....

ShatterAlan

Most of my bad episode involved spirits. Lived in New York for a few years and there they do shots all the time which are a one-way ticket to destination fcuked as Aussieman would say. I can tolerate a massive quantity of beer and I'm not big. But half that amount of beer and one or two shots and I'm out of the game, palatic. So I don't drink spirits except maybe the odd gin & tonic if I've had a big meal and can't really put down a beer.

Most of my bad episode were in my 20s and one in my teens.

First time drink I was 14 and hadn't a clue of my own tolerance. A naggin would have floored me but a friend made me a concoction from his parents' drinks cabinet. A coffee jar full of vodka, gin, poitin and a splash of ethanol that he kept his dead scorpions preserved in. I necked about half of it and then decided it would be a great idea to go to the school disco. Didn't quite make it there. Was intercepted by the Guards and driven here, there and everywhere because they couldn't get my name or address out of me. They eventually pulled in to a row of shops and got out and asked one of the shopkeepers who, well, shopped me. They brought me home though I had to be carried from the squad car by the two Guards to a neighbour's house because they couldn't leave me alone in my state. My mother was working nights. Had 3 neighbourhood parents induce me to vomit it all out into a basin before putting me to bed. That was at the start of the summer holidays. For the remainder I was banished to my uncle's farm down the country. Bad times.

A few other episodes saw me way up on a bench in the sun in New York having completely blacked out from the night before. Bag and wallet gone and no money to get the train home. I eventually got a taxi home and my housemate paid the fare. the next week at work the phone rings and the receptionist puts it through to someone asking for me. He wouldn't say his name but he had my bag and wallet and asked where he could mail it to. The bag contained a few items like a calculator and a software manual of the company where I worked and the address and phone number. He used the money in the wallet to pay the postage. He found the bag and the wallet down by the Brooklyn Bridge. I woke up on a bench in the Lower west side :eek:

Since then I have managed to only get drunk on beer (good beer that doesn't make you black out) and know when I've had enough.

iamstop

Broke my foot and have no idea how.

Was my birthday. Mate invites me over for a few cans. Bunch of us walk from Rathmines to Camden St. We're passing what I think was a mix of Malibu and Lucozade back and forth along the way. We get to what I think was Modern Green Bar at the time, meet more people, two friends from the US. Pints and shots of Patron XO were bought for me since it was my birthday.
Next morning I wake up back in mate's gaff in Rathmines with a full bladder. Get up to go to the jax and realize my foot hurts to walk on. Hobble to the bus stop and get home for another hour or two kip.
Get up and meet the family for my birthday dinner at Cactus Jacks. Tell them my foot hurts. My ma says I should get it checked, like an X-ray. I scoff it off an say it's probably just twisted. (Like I was the night before, wha?)
No better the next day so my ma brings me to the hospital and sure enough broken metatarsal. Zero recollection of how it happened. There was a decent size group of us and everyone has collective amnesia about the end of that night. Nobody knows how I broke it.
Had to take a few days off work but was on contract so not paid. Ended up getting on the moped in a cast just to get to the job in Maynooth so I could still earn me rent.

To this day it is still an unsolved mystery of how I broke my foot.

partyguinness

We woke up with the Sam Maguire sitting on the kitchen table....and we had nothing to do with the team. Hell, we were not even from the same county.

The county I was working in at the time had won the AI. Anyway well into the following week a few of the team were in the town parading the cup around and the like. Anyway, I was out on the beer and heading home and walking past a particular pub (a lock in) on a quiet street and there was the Sam Maguire sititng outside the door on the footpath. Grabed it and legged it.

It was mightly craic back at the house laughing our asses off. This was before camera phones so no pics.

We didnt feel like such gas men in the morning and cold sweats started to form.

We handed it in to the local Garda Station and said we found it. Nothing more every said.

bitofabind

Probably the time I was in the US at a work conference and woke up naked in a colleague's bed the morning after a drinks event. No idea how I got there, no recollection of even talking to the guy the night before and the last memory I had of him was of meeting him for the first time the morning before and thinking "what an arrogant prick".

Woke up staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and got the fright of my life when a bald head popped up beside me, "good morning". WTF, is that yer man Jordie? What am I doing in Jordie's bed?

Scared the life out of me and had an extended 2-day walk of shame trying to piece together what had happened by asking subtle questions of other colleagues for the rest of the event. Drank too much gin on an empty stomach and decided to hit on the guy I liked least and maybe fancied a little in my inebriated state.

That was five months ago now and haven't drank a drop since.

chrissb8

Homelander wrote: »

Come on man, surely there were drugs involved there as well. They must've been some "cocktails" to induce mad delusions and have you leaping out of moving cars and hiding in bushes.

Haha, I was too broke to have any sort of drug habit at 19 years old!

Motivator

In 2014, I was relatively new in my job when an opportunity came up to go to New York for 3 weeks to train up on new software that would be adopted by my Irish office. I jumped at it I went over with two others and the minute we landed we were picked up and went straight to the office in Manhattan to start work straightaway. On arrival in the office and we were given a nice new laptop and in the laptop bag was a big envelope with our apartment details, vouchers for different tourist attractions, vouchers for food and drink in the city and the US equivalent of a One4All type visa card with a couple of hundred dollars in it.

Finished work in day 1 and we ended up going out with a few of our new colleagues. I got absolutely shïtfaced and I can remember leaving the bar early to go to the apartment. I ended up in the Subway and jumped on a train. Bad idea. I fell asleep and woke up about two hours later in a near deserted carriage. Laptop bag gone, and with it all of my stuff for the apartment and all the vouchers etc. I sobered up fairly quickly and had loads of missed calls from the two lads I was over there with. I tried to to ring, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Facebook message them for an address for the apartment but they weren’t answering their phones. I thought they were still out but were actually after heading back and were asleep when I was trying them. It gets worse.

I had to ring my boss at 5 am in Ireland to ask him to ring the US office manager to get the address. I eventually got it and heading back a bit worried about what would happen the following day. There was holy war over it. The Americans didn’t like it at all when I arrived in the following morning still in the same clothes that I had left Ireland in more than 24 hours previously. To make it worse, over the three weeks the rest of the office were being entertained by the activity one the One4All card. The ****ers that robbed me used the card and redeemed all the vouchers that work had given me. The company took it well to be fair to them but it was absolutely mortifying and still is today.

CBear1993

partyguinness wrote: »

We woke up with the Sam Maguire sitting on the kitchen table....and we had nothing to do with the team. Hell, we were not even from the same county.

The county I was working in at the time had won the AI. Anyway well into the following week a few of the team were in the town parading the cup around and the like. Anyway, I was out on the beer and heading home and walking past a particular pub (a lock in) on a quiet street and there was the Sam Maguire sititng outside the door on the footpath. Grabed it and legged it.

It was mightly craic back at the house laughing our asses off. This was before camera phones so no pics.

We didnt feel like such gas men in the morning and cold sweats started to form.

We handed it in to the local Garda Station and said we found it. Nothing more every said.

That’s unreal there!! Fair play to ye

CBear1993

Jesus that’s hectic hahaha. Some story. Needless to say you returned from New York then ?

[Deleted User]

hard to describe. being told by a parent "stay from my son". I was so pissed and I so did not deserve it. But I can see how his parent was in the right too.

So as pissed as I am - and oh god I am - I am absolutely deffering to the asshle.---- sorry the dad ---- on this one

s1ippy

The last worst one was walking around Camden when we were over for a gig, our phones ran out of battery because we spent the day travelling and we had to figure out the walk home by the train lines... badly needing a piss but not being aware enough to be able to dodge cameras and the local fuzz or bobby or whatever you call them.

Burst in the door of the apartment and I pissed in the sink because we both needed to go so badly, had a good laugh about managing to get home. My compadre passed out but I needed a smoke so I went downstairs.. I remember making sure I brought the fob to open the door. When I finished it was just starting to snow after it had been unseasonably warm for March all day. I thought how nice and tried to get in the door but I couldn't figure out how to unlock it. I would fob it, push the door and nothing would happen.

We'd gotten two bottles of wine with dinner then and the gig venue was selling these 1l plastic cups of beer and we took turns getting four, two for each of us... we did this twice each so we had eight litres of beer before we even finished the gig. Then we met a group of lads we knew living over and they headed home early cos it was a work night. We ran into a load of other Irish people and one thing led to another and it was 4am and we were staggering home.

So I'm still outside the door of the building in the snow, unable to get in despite trying to access it probably 100 times. The snow was a nice dusting at first but now it's a small blizzard and I sit down on the step and immediately think "doing this is a stupid idea because I'll fall asleep and die" so I get up and try to fob the door again frantically and lo and behold, it worked. I had just been too slow pushing after I fobbed it all the other times.

If anyone has that footage of me fobbing and slowly moving to try and open the door I think it would make a great PSA so by all means use it.

auspicious

Just glad I woke up the next day.

Woke Hogan

Deleted User wrote: »

hard to describe. being told by a parent "stay from my son". I was so pissed and I so did not deserve it. But I can see how his parent was in the right too.

So as pissed as I am - and oh god I am - I am absolutely deffering to the asshle.---- sorry the dad ---- on this one

That makes it sound like you're a child molester, man.

Better Than Christ

Woke Hogan wrote: »

That makes it sound like you're a child molester, man.

"Are you threatening to molest my son?"

Woke Hogan

Better Than Christ wrote: »

"Are you threatening to molest my son?"

What?

SEPT 23 1989

Thread has taken a dark turn

EmmetSpiceland

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Thread has taken a dark turn

The original post, referring to the “child”, really does need some context. Without it, it just sounds sinister.

DanielODonnell

I don't drink unless I need alcohol to treat my anxiety disorder, for example I was drunk in a job interview last year and I got the job. Alcohol turns me into a normal man, I am a socially inept autist sober and when I am drunk I become temporarily neuro typical. The doctors don't give me pills for anxiety as they said they can't give them when you have asthma. There is no future for a creature like me.

I also went to a job fair after downing a bottle of Amaretto and I chatted to the woman at desk like a normal man, without the amaretto I would have had panic attack.

I am sensible enough to not turn into an alcoholic though, I have many alcoholics in my family history. After I use the alcohol at job interview, etc I usually pour the rest of the bottle down the sink and don't drink for months later. I have a half bottle of amaretto in my drawer that hasn't been touched in 3 months.

Lucky Lou

I walked into my car in the drive and apologised profusedly to it.

posturingpat

I was texting for a few weeks and getting on really well with a woman well out of my league when in college but had resigned myself to the likelihood of her not being interested in anything more than being friends.
Monday night was one of the main nights out back then where I was and often there'd be a house party afterwards.
Went out the Monday night with my housemates and back to a party, drank all night until maybe 7 or 8. Slept for about 2 or 3 hours and a few of us went to the college bar for pints when it opened. Got a text from my out of my league friend to ask me did I have good craic last night and the flashback comes of bumping into her the night previously.
Nothing had happened last night of course but this started a text conversation that lasted all day without me mentioning I was drinking, all the while I was drinking away and had moved into town and football was on at this stage on a Tuesday so likely Champions league, 8 or 9 at night and me out basically since last night, so you can imagine my state. Anyway whatever drunken ****e I was texting I had gotten myself an invite around to hers. Happy days.
The walk to hers is only about a kilometre or 2 away so decide against a taxi, sure the walk and fresh air will sober me up a bit, sent her a text I'll be 15 mins or so.
Blank.
Next thing I remember I'm sitting in her kitchen absolutely drenched to the bone and her and her flatmates making me tea and toast.
Turns out in my horny drunken state I managed to walk as far as her garden, got up to the door and fell asleep right outside it, torrential rain started and I was sound to the world, she tried ring me and heard my phone ringing and found me outside, only for that I could've been in big trouble. Needless to say I didn't get lucky. Some horrors after that for a while.

posturingpat

On another occasion I was at a festival, witness or oxegen not 100 percent sure which but had been drinking all day on the first night met in with a few and managed to land myself back in a tent with a woman.
Woke up a few hours later dying for a slash,look out through the zip, there's one of them metal fences/rails about 20yards away,will do rightly for a quick piss,throw on my jocks and jacket, sure it's only 20 yards away no need to get fully dressed.
Climb out of the tent and wobble as far as my makeshift toilet, start emptying my bladder and cop my jackets stuck to me, not my jacket at all but the lady I was staying with but who gives a **** ill be back in the tent in a minute.
Turn around to walk back to the tent only to remember I haven't a clue what colour/size/shape this tent is and hundreds of them in front of me. Check a few but give up. Try work out where my own tent is and realise it's a completely different campsite. Still on the same ground but One was campsite A and one was B.
So I had to walk/wobble bare foot in my boxers and this woman's jacket that covers my arms and half my chest through 2 campsites. Sun starting to rise and people getting up in the morning and some people still parting from the night before, you can hazard a guess how much random abuse/slagging I got thrown at me by strangers on that walk.

gandalfio

posturingpat wrote: »

On another occasion I was at a festival, witness or oxegen not 100 percent sure which but had been drinking all day on the first night met in with a few and managed to land myself back in a tent with a woman.
Woke up a few hours later dying for a slash,look out through the zip, there's one of them metal fences/rails about 20yards away,will do rightly for a quick piss,throw on my jocks and jacket, sure it's only 20 yards away no need to get fully dressed.
Climb out of the tent and wobble as far as my makeshift toilet, start emptying my bladder and cop my jackets stuck to me, not my jacket at all but the lady I was staying with but who gives a **** ill be back in the tent in a minute.
Turn around to walk back to the tent only to remember I haven't a clue what colour/size/shape this tent is and hundreds of them in front of me. Check a few but give up. Try work out where my own tent is and realise it's a completely different campsite. Still on the same ground but One was campsite A and one was B.
So I had to walk/wobble bare foot in my boxers and this woman's jacket that covers my arms and half my chest through 2 campsites. Sun starting to rise and people getting up in the morning and some people still parting from the night before, you can hazard a guess how much random abuse/slagging I got thrown at me by strangers on that walk.

Gold

85603

thought the pissed here meant angry.

a co-worker kept slagging me on an issue i couldnt win on, and its something that in fairness im a bit sensitive about. to do with my physical appearance. one of those things that you can never really win on.

the slagging was light hearted but he kept returning to it day after day. and i had no real comeback that i could use. and i couldnt tell him to fck off for certain reasons. it got to me.

eventually it pre-occupied my mind, and i started examining my appearance (for want of a better term) while i thought he was not around, but he'd crept up on me and kind of caught me in the act and started laughing at me, and i had nothing.

thats about as angry as ive been for some time. so because i couldnt react due to certain circumstances in the workplace i just had to make out it was a bit of a laugh.
on my lunch break i was away from the workplace and i was pretty furious and cursing my lot in life.

so after i got back i took his mug from the kitchen and pissed in it ...a good three quaters full, and wiped my ballbag on it, and my taint and my hole. Then emptied it of my piss and gave it a bit of a rinse.

Now every time he has a pop at me it doesnt feel quite as bad, cause i just watch him that morning having his tea from that mug, and ask him if he had a nice cuppa at lunch time.

Better Than Christ

85603 wrote: »

thought the pissed here meant angry.

If that were the case, the word 'pissed' would be followed by 'off'. I don't know how anyone could think that 'pissed' on its own means angry.

cameramonkey

Better Than Christ wrote: »

If that were the case, the word 'pissed' would be followed by 'off'. I don't know how anyone could think that 'pissed' on its own means angry.

in that context its american english and very common usage.

chrissb8

85603 wrote: »

thought the pissed here meant angry.

a co-worker kept slagging me on an issue i couldnt win on, and its something that in fairness im a bit sensitive about. to do with my physical appearance. one of those things that you can never really win on.

the slagging was light hearted but he kept returning to it day after day. and i had no real comeback that i could use. and i couldnt tell him to fck off for certain reasons. it got to me.

eventually it pre-occupied my mind, and i started examining my appearance (for want of a better term) while i thought he was not around, but he'd crept up on me and kind of caught me in the act and started laughing at me, and i had nothing.

thats about as angry as ive been for some time. so because i couldnt react due to certain circumstances in the workplace i just had to make out it was a bit of a laugh.
on my lunch break i was away from the workplace and i was pretty furious and cursing my lot in life.

so after i got back i took his mug from the kitchen and pissed in it ...a good three quaters full, and wiped my ballbag on it, and my taint and my hole. Then emptied it of my piss and gave it a bit of a rinse.

Now every time he has a pop at me it doesnt feel quite as bad, cause i just watch him that morning having his tea from that mug, and ask him if he had a nice cuppa at lunch time.

Next time he makes a joke, don't laugh, don't react and watch him squirm as he realises that you don't find it funny.

If he asks why just be blunt and say you continuously comment on my appearance and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. If he says you can't take a joke, say yeah, you can, just not the kind that ridicules people to get a laugh.

That, or s**t on his desk and put two googlie eyes on it.

Better Than Christ

cameramonkey wrote: »

in that context its american english and very common usage.

In America, maybe.