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Anybody have a sibling who's a complete waster?

MichaelKnee

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

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skooterblue2

khalessi wrote: »

Good luck with your studies lets know when you qualify

Define "Qualify".
cert in science, Phd? experience? From Where and when?

Musefan

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Seen you lads before, couldnt spot autism because it was too much effort to treat, absolutely no care for the client.

You know, I had a snarky thing typed out to respond and deleted this. I’m disappointed you hold this view of every HSE psychologist. Most of us train 10+ years to do the work we do. I stuck at it so long because I care. I think about the families I work with. I absolutely think about them when I see something that reminds me of them. I send them cards or make kids gifts when I finish working with them. I flitter my wages away buying books, stickers or other things that I think a kid will like in sessions. I’ve stayed till 1am in work pouring over ASD assessments to get them just right for a families. I cried when my waiting list was over 3 years and families rightly let all their anger out on me. I’ve driven hours per day around classrooms just to drop in and see how kids are getting on and check what I can help with. I practiced exactly the same when I was HSE psychologist compared private practice. I’m sorry you didn’t have a better experience. I know many colleagues across many services who could make money in much easier ways but stick around because they love what they do, be it ASD assessment, therapy or something else.

skooterblue2

Musefan wrote: »

You know, I had a snarky thing typed out to respond and deleted this. I’m disappointed you hold this view of every HSE psychologist. Most of us train 10+ years to do the work we do. I stuck at it so long because I care. I think about the families I work with. I absolutely think about them when I see something that reminds me of them. I send them cards or make kids gifts when I finish working with them. I flitter my wages away buying books, stickers or other things that I think a kid will like in sessions. I’ve stayed till 1am in work pouring over ASD assessments to get them just right for a families. I cried when my waiting list was over 3 years and families rightly let all their anger out on me. I’ve driven hours per day around classrooms just to drop in and see how kids are getting on and check what I can help with. I practiced exactly the same when I was HSE psychologist compared private practice. I’m sorry you didn’t have a better experience. I know many colleagues across many services who could make money in much easier ways but stick around because they love what they do, be it ASD assessment, therapy or something else.

Three Questions:
Where were you when I need help?
Where were you when I asked for help with Aspergers and sent me away?
What took you so long that my family had to pay to get a private diagnosis, when I was approaching middle aged?

Musefan

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Three Questions:
Where were you when I need help?
Where were you when I asked for help with Aspergers and sent me away?
What took you so long that my family had to pay to get a private diagnosis, when I was approaching middle aged?

I’m sorry that you weren’t heard and responded too. I’ve worked in many services trying to respond efficiently, but it always comes back to many people needing help and too few psychologists.

Anyway, I feel like I’m keeping a derailing going here so g’night!

skooterblue2

Musefan wrote: »

You know, I had a snarky thing typed out to respond and deleted this. I’m disappointed you hold this view of every HSE psychologist. Most of us train 10+ years to do the work we do. I stuck at it so long because I care. I think about the families I work with. I absolutely think about them when I see something that reminds me of them. I send them cards or make kids gifts when I finish working with them. I flitter my wages away buying books, stickers or other things that I think a kid will like in sessions. I’ve stayed till 1am in work pouring over ASD assessments to get them just right for a families. I cried when my waiting list was over 3 years and families rightly let all their anger out on me. I’ve driven hours per day around classrooms just to drop in and see how kids are getting on and check what I can help with. I practiced exactly the same when I was HSE psychologist compared private practice. I’m sorry you didn’t have a better experience. I know many colleagues across many services who could make money in much easier ways but stick around because they love what they do, be it ASD assessment, therapy or something else.

You dont have to do all those things for me, really you are too kind because I have a bookself of all those books too(I got all mine in the charity shop). All your professions had to do was to have a quiet word with the parents(Go see Prof Fitzgerald or Seamus Feehan in Cork). My parent were good people on the PTAA and school board but all the teachers kids got their kids diagnosed and the doctors got their kids diagnosed. This "cute hoor" approach doesnt help any of us in society. I was never on a waiting list for a diagnosis from the HSE, because I was too old. The family GP was a pediatrician told me I didnt have it after I showed her the report, then she couldnt spell it, when someone tore her a new one. Then she misspelled "Aspergers" with the report longside of her and had to get me to spell it. I am perfectly entitled to ask you what your qualification is based on my experience.

You have a fantastic time in the HSE/DoE/Colleges because you have no accountability to your clients. oh you do now? Where is my recourse for the way I have been treated over the years? 22 hours a week and off home early to what ever vice you part take in. Out early and full permanent and pensionable position. I am going to say the psychotherapist in the NLN did a brunt of the hard work and trust me I was hard work, but the rest of ye I have seen, couldnt be bothered.

I am dying to be corrected on this one.

[Deleted User]

skooterblue2 wrote: »

You dont have to do all those things for me, really you are too kind because I have a bookself of all those books too(I got all mine in the charity shop). All your professions had to do was to have a quiet word with the parents(Go see Prof Fitzgerald or Seamus Feehan in Cork). My parent were good people on the PTAA and school board but all the teachers kids got their kids diagnosed and the doctors got their kids diagnosed. This "cute hoor" approach doesnt help any of us in society. I was never on a waiting list for a diagnosis from the HSE, because I was too old. The family GP was a pediatrician told me I didnt have it after I showed her the report, then she couldnt spell it, when someone tore her a new one. Then she misspelled "Aspergers" with the report longside of her and had to get me to spell it. I am perfectly entitled to ask you what your qualification is based on my experience.

You have a fantastic time in the HSE/DoE/Colleges because you have no accountability to your clients. oh you do now? Where is my recourse for the way I have been treated over the years? 22 hours a week and off home early to what ever vice you part take in. Out early and full permanent and pensionable position. I am going to say the psychotherapist in the NLN did a brunt of the hard work and trust me I was hard work, but the rest of ye I have seen, couldnt be bothered.

I am dying to be corrected on this one.

Whatever about you dying to be corrected, it’s really not right for you to take someone to task here for your experiences in the system. It’s not her fault. Not one bit.

She’s doing her best for the people she gets a chance to help. That’s all anyone, you included, have any right to ask of her in her professional capacity.

Any other complaints, file a grievance formally through appropriate channels and speak with your TD’s.

lainey_d_123

JayZeus wrote: »

Whatever about you dying to be corrected, it’s really not right for you to take someone to task here for your experiences in the system. It’s not her fault. Not one bit.

She’s doing her best for the people she gets a chance to help. That’s all anyone, you included, have any right to ask of her in her professional capacity.

Any other complaints, file a grievance formally through appropriate channels and soeak with you TD’s.

Typical narcissist using autism as an excuse to treat people like dirt...seen it all before in my family. They're always the victim and everyone is out to get them and everything is always someone else's fault. Most women with undiagnosed autism tend to just muddle through and do their best and learn social skills and whatnot from the 'school of life/hard knocks', yet so many men with undiagnosed autism don't seem to be able to and turn out utterly entitled and toxic. Never, ever take responsibility for themselves or cut anyone else any slack (while expecting so much of it from others).

skooterblue2

JayZeus wrote: »

Whatever about you dying to be corrected, it’s really not right for you to take someone to task here for your experiences in the system. It’s not her fault. Not one bit.

She’s doing her best for the people she gets a chance to help. That’s all anyone, you included, have any right to ask of her in her professional capacity.

Any other complaints, file a grievance formally through appropriate channels and speak with your TD’s.

You can easily challenge me on the acupuncture being a quack medicine as a whole. Well I cant get an answer from any of the cousins on why they passed me over either. If you come across about 20 different psychologists in your life and you ask them for help and they all turn away. If challenged me on one of my organisation I would stand by it and not shy away from questions. There is no accountability between the HSE/DoE and the colleges. I wouldnt waste my time, so I was told. Files get shredding things never happen

[Deleted User]

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Typical narcissist using autism as an excuse to treat people like dirt...seen it all before in my family. They're always the victim and everyone is out to get them and everything is always someone else's fault. Most women with undiagnosed autism tend to just muddle through and do their best and learn social skills and whatnot from the 'school of life/hard knocks', yet so many men with undiagnosed autism don't seem to be able to and turn out utterly entitled and toxic. Never, ever take responsibility for themselves or cut anyone else any slack (while expecting so much of it from others).

I understand the sentiment but gender really doesn’t have a role in the argument IMHO

skooterblue2

JayZeus wrote: »

I understand the sentiment but gender really doesn’t have a role in the argument IMHO

Actually the Aspergers male and female are completely different. Go see Tony Attwood Youtube video on it, its excellent.

skooterblue2

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Typical narcissist using autism as an excuse to treat people like dirt...seen it all before in my family. They're always the victim and everyone is out to get them and everything is always someone else's fault. Most women with undiagnosed autism tend to just muddle through and do their best and learn social skills and whatnot from the 'school of life/hard knocks', yet so many men with undiagnosed autism don't seem to be able to and turn out utterly entitled and toxic. Never, ever take responsibility for themselves or cut anyone else any slack (while expecting so much of it from others).

To know all that ye must have really screwed your brother over if he turned out like that. Unfortunately yeah all the cousins and aunts were asleep behind the wheel when I was suffering through life.

ILoveYourVibes

He may be the black sheep of the family ...but i bet some of the white sheep are not as white as they seem.

kowloon

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Irish is particularly difficult language to learn if you are on the Autistic spectrum, unless it is your speciality (I know one and he is untreated and undiagnosed and has lead a trainwreck life). Hence new early diagnosis get exemptions from Irish.

Please ask more questions if you like, I have no problem answering.

What is it about Irish that is so difficult for them?

ILoveYourVibes

kowloon wrote: »

What is it about Irish that is so difficult for them?

I think its that learning to communicate and learning any language is difficult for people with Aspergers. Learning to speak is usually harder for most.

Not all but many have speech delays.

They are highly intelligent though. Just in another way.

Communication speech and language in general is hard for some on the Autistic spectrum.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

MichaelKnee wrote: »

I got him an interview with the company I work for, he didn't even show up.

I thought you said elsewhere that you gave up your job last year.

Edgware

Purple Mountain wrote: »

So, you won't even treat her to your needle tonight

No wonder she's so active on the dogging circuit

Wanderer78

MichaelKnee wrote:

Over Christmas all five siblings were back. We're all professionals, paying rent, mortgages etc. And there's a middle brother who is a complete waster. He's been on the dole since graduation, but a very clever guy, who talks incessantly about all these great ideas, but does none of them. Still living at home and my parents are more or less at their wits end with him. It's infuriating.

More than likely has some complex disorder such as a developmental disorder, if so, requires professional intervention asap, oh and calling him a waster really doesn't help! Suggest a visit to his GP to be assessed, it's better than getting on the Internets to bitch about him, and far more helpful

weldoninhio

khalessi wrote: »

Listen youve just got a diploma and I realise what it takes as I previously stated but as with all your posts you only take selectively what suits your narrow mindness. People like you annoy me as they bring acupuncture into disrepute having not studied it properly

By the looks of it, it isn't even a diploma

"At the end of the Clinical Training session those students who have satisfied the requirements of the course will be awarded the Licentiate in Traditional Chinese Medicine qualification, along with the appropriate certificate.

The Licentiate is recognised by the Professional Register of Traditional Chinese Medicine (PRTCM) – the first regulatory body of Acupuncture and TCM in Ireland. The qualification is approved, accredited and validated by them."

lainey_d_123

skooterblue2 wrote: »

To know all that ye must have really screwed your brother over if he turned out like that. Unfortunately yeah all the cousins and aunts were asleep behind the wheel when I was suffering through life.

Yes, by enabling him and trying to help. Perhaps if he'd been left to fend for himself like I was, he'd have learned sooner that the world isn't there to cater to him and that he's not special.

Typical narcissistic attitude btw - you think you're so important that even your extended family should have coddled you...ever thought maybe they had their own problems and their own stuff going on? No, because you're the centre of your own universe, like my brother. I wonder how much thought you gave to them and their wellbeing and stuff they might be going through....think I know the answer.

lainey_d_123

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I think its that learning to communicate and learning any language is difficult for people with Aspergers. Learning to speak is usually harder for most.

Not all but many have speech delays.

They are highly intelligent though. Just in another way.

Communication speech and language in general is hard for some on the Autistic spectrum.

Not sure that's true for women, actually. Lots of Asperger women are excellent communicators, which is why it goes undiagnosed for so long.

I started to talk very early and had a huge vocabulary as a young kid and also picked up a second language easily and then a third. I think a talent for languages is actually quite common for women with high functioning autism.

Woshy

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Irish is particularly difficult language to learn if you are on the Autistic spectrum, unless it is your speciality (I know one and he is untreated and undiagnosed and has lead a trainwreck life). Hence new early diagnosis get exemptions from Irish.

Please ask more questions if you like, I have no problem answering.

This isn't true across the park, that is a huge generalistation and not everybody's experience. My son has Aspergers and does not struggle with Irish at all. He enjoys learning new languages and is decent at it, it is not his area of interest or speciality (which is flags and maps and geography in general) but his Irish is still very good.

His speech and language in general is excellent, he is very eloquent but his communication can be poor.

Fritzbox

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Not saying it isn't, but it tends to require a certain conformed mindset not really engineered for clever thnking.

Which wouldn't make the army all that much different than any other part of the civil service, or would it?

Pac1Man

God I hate the term professionals! It's so middle class. You went to college and work in accounts. Relax.

Carson10

Why not be a true brother and try and help him out. You never know what he is going through in his own head.

You seem to think you are better than him as person. Maybe instead of starting a new thread to run down your brother you can invest some time and energy in him and get him on road you so think he should be on.

Its the start of January. Join a new club with him, join the gym with him to get him out of the house and have a structure, he might open up to you then.

Shouting from your high horse will be of zero help to him.

skooterblue2

weldoninhio wrote: »

By the looks of it, it isn't even a diploma

"At the end of the Clinical Training session those students who have satisfied the requirements of the course will be awarded the Licentiate in Traditional Chinese Medicine qualification, along with the appropriate certificate.

The Licentiate is recognised by the Professional Register of Traditional Chinese Medicine (PRTCM) – the first regulatory body of Acupuncture and TCM in Ireland. The qualification is approved, accredited and validated by them."

Still had to sit an exam both practical and physical. Still had to write reports.
Course you skip over the other qualifications

skooterblue2

Wanderer78 wrote: »

More than likely has some complex disorder such as a developmental disorder, if so, requires professional intervention asap, oh and calling him a waster really doesn't help! Suggest a visit to his GP to be assessed, it's better than getting on the Internets to bitch about him, and far more helpful

A GP isnt qualified to assess an autistic Adult. God Bless her, mine couldnt even spell it with the report in front of her. NLN maybe the way to go for advice. It may too late as learning many of these social skills get much harder as you get older. For some people learning social skills and CBT can be on the same level as disproving gravity.

On another note the Mid 30's is approaching, these are difficult times for HFA's when stuff doesnt work out. The guy is facing difficult times ahead.

skooterblue2

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I think its that learning to communicate and learning any language is difficult for people with Aspergers. Learning to speak is usually harder for most.

Not all but many have speech delays.

They are highly intelligent though. Just in another way.

Communication speech and language in general is hard for some on the Autistic spectrum.

You see that in the TV Movie "Temple Grandin" trying to learn French.

skooterblue2

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Yes, by enabling him and trying to help. Perhaps if he'd been left to fend for himself like I was, he'd have learned sooner that the world isn't there to cater to him and that he's not special.

Typical narcissistic attitude btw - you think you're so important that even your extended family should have coddled you...ever thought maybe they had their own problems and their own stuff going on? No, because you're the centre of your own universe, like my brother. I wonder how much thought you gave to them and their wellbeing and stuff they might be going through....think I know the answer.

Actually I was living outside of home at 19. No need to coddle me, just needed to provide one clue to lay people. Its not like it was beyond their professions. They didnt even have to pay for the assessment but they kept their own childrens diagnosis secret. As for their problems they all had fairly straight forward lives except for one incident where a stray horse wandered into the burger factory.

Wanderer78

skooterblue2 wrote:

A GP isnt qualified to assess an autistic Adult. God Bless her, mine couldnt even spell it with the report in front of her. NLN maybe the way to go for advice.

I'm aware of that, but a GP can direct you to a clinical psychologist for assessment, mine did, and also directed me towards NLN for further supports. consider going to another GP if unhappy, its very important to have a good relationship with your gp

skooterblue2

Wanderer78 wrote: »

I'm aware of that, but a GP can direct you to a clinical psychologist for assessment, mine did, and also directed me towards NLN for further supports. consider going to another GP if unhappy, its very important to have a good relationship with your gp

Wow you must have some GP. My GP asked why she need to write a letter to the L&N when the NLN was in the report. How come I get the booby prizes? She didn't even know her role in writing the letter. I suspect this is the first time she has ever been confronted with a case of Adult Autism.