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Some lads and obsession with sex

completedit

What’s the story here? Talking to a mate of mine last night and he and his girlfriend had to break up a few months back. Since then he said the only thing keeping him sane is porn. Is this actually a thing? Is sex really that fundamental for some people. I feel we are thought to see sex as this amazingly epic thing and I just don’t get it, this lad gets with all sorts just to have sex. I don’t know how he does it. Some lads are more randy than others. Makes me feel weird sometimes that I don’t have the same sort of need to have sex. Would kinda like to have it because would act as a more of a driving force I’d imagine.

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KathleenGrant

I am a woman and like telly above I also enjoy sex. I will admit that I am very lucky. I have never had a partner push me into doing something I didn't want. I know other women have so I am thankful for that.

blade1

Telly wrote: »

You seem to be very wound up, Sarah.

I think we all know a good cure for that!

McCrack

Telly wrote: »

I’m a woman and I have amazing sex.

Oh do tell us more

Sober Crappy Chemis

Serious answer:
Sexual desire and attraction is an extremely complex combination of social, hormonal, physiological and psychological factors and is one of the strongest drives in humans.

AH answer:
Everyone loves a ride or a tug.

Telly

Filth! The lot of yas!

_Kaiser_

Telly wrote: »

Filth! The lot of yas!

Sure that's all part of the fun

Telly

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

Sure that's all part of the fun

Except for poor Sarah by the looks of it :eek:

Still waters

Sarahdunners wrote: »

I generally think that the lads who are more desperate for sex, are the ones with the lower self esteems.

They are deeply unhappy by themselves, so they can only feel happy when they're in another person.

One lad talked to me about it - he said hat he felt so bad about himself , that he only felt good if he was having sex or drugs.

It is all about an attitude to sex. Many people who have fulfilling lives, are not desperate for sex. They enjoy it when they have it, but they are not desperately unhappy without it.

Sarahdunners wrote: »

For who? I know alot of women who have terrible sex stories:

Men pushing them into doing things they didnt want to do
Men being selfish
Men hitting them during sex.

I have heard women say that they have had really awful, scary sex.

So because you don't like the ride all men who have a normal sex drive are desperate and unhappy with low self esteem who push unwilling virgin maidens into unwanted rough scary sex, the level of unreported rape must be astronomical

Still waters

Telly wrote: »

You seem to be very wound up, Sarah.

She needs a good bullin, the women get awful sound after a good bullin

freshpopcorn

Maybe you've just being doing it wrong OP!

bfa1509

I enjoy doing sex

blade1

bfa1509 wrote: »

I enjoy doing sex

I've a funny feeling you didn't write the Kama Sutra.

Sober Crappy Chemis

bfa1509 wrote: »

I enjoy doing sex

Such a wordsmith. I’m all a flutter...

Greyfox

completedit wrote: »

this lad gets with all sorts just to have sex.

Sex is wonderful but theirs a lot of guys out there that are overly obsessed with it. Those who are chasing sex every day need to realise theres other interesting things they could also be spending there time doing.

BENDYBINN

Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »

Such a wordsmith. I’m all a flutter...

Leave him alone ....Shakespeare was no great shakes when it came to sex......

Pac1Man

Still waters wrote: »

She needs a good bullin, the women get awful sound after a good bullin

G'wan Bull.

Alecto

I am a woman and I definitely enjoy having sex. Having said that though the sex I have with my boyfriend is mind blowing, I honestly can't compare it to the sex I had before, so there is definitely really good sex and meh sex.

myshirt

The Preying Mantis typically gets its head bitten off after sex.

Despite this, what do they say?

"Doesn't matter, still had sex".

the_syco

Sarahdunners wrote: »

For who? I know alot of women who have terrible sex stories:

Men pushing them into doing things they didnt want to do
Men being selfish
Men hitting them during sex.

I have heard women say that they have had really awful, scary sex.

Sounds like these women prefer to date assholes.

KathleenGrant

the_syco wrote: »

Sounds like these women prefer to date assholes.

Women are mistreated but it's their faults. Wow!

skinny90

completedit wrote: »

What’s the story here? Talking to a mate of mine last night and he and his girlfriend had to break up a few months back. Since then he said the only thing keeping him sane is porn. Is this actually a thing? Is sex really that fundamental for some people. I feel we are thought to see sex as this amazingly epic thing and I just don’t get it, this lad gets with all sorts just to have sex. I don’t know how he does it. Some lads are more randy than others. Makes me feel weird sometimes that I don’t have the same sort of need to have sex. Would kinda like to have it because would act as a more of a driving force I’d imagine.

Wouldn’t agree with porn keeping him sane, sex however yes.. Tbh your friend sounds lazy, not bothered to download an app and talk to girls and chance his arm into a few bootycalls. It couldn’t be easier these days

[Deleted User]

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Women are mistreated but it's their faults. Wow!

If you **** with fire you’re going to get burned

KathleenGrant

JayZeus wrote: »

If you **** with fire you’re going to get burned

And if the first time you are with a man he treats you badly have you been ****ing with fire?

[Deleted User]

KathleenGrant wrote: »

And if the first time you are with a man he treats you badly have you been ****ing with fire?

As you well know, that depends on the individual.

I've been with some complete sack of **** women in my time too. Cheating, lying, nasty, horrible people.

I don't tar all women with the same brush so I don't assume any individual woman is any of the above.

There's plenty of fellas being abused by women. There always has to be a first time for that to happen. Sometimes the writing was on the wall, sometimes it comes out of the blue. But if the warnings signs were there for all to see, but someone chose to ignore them at their own peril, that part of it is their responsibility.

That's not a popular sort of line, I know. But it's the truth. Plain and simple. Get over the outrage and you'll see that to be so, as much as you might hate to accept it.

Some people do stupid things. Men or women. Or non-gender-conforming something or other etc. Stupid is as stupid does.

_Brian

completedit wrote: »

Yeah but how good, like a rollercoaster good, a good cup of coffee?

I get that it’s good but in isolation, I’d never think I’d love to be having sex now. It’s not at the forefront of my thoughts or something I’m always honking about.

Maybe your not doing it right ?

KathleenGrant

I am not having outrage. If you read my post in this thread I stated I have had nothing but considerate respectful partners. But I accept that some women are not as lucky as I was and some of them not through their own fault. Any more than I think men who are mistreated by women have been ****ing with female fire.

ILoveYourVibes

Das Reich wrote: »

Eastern and northern (everything north of France) europeans hate sex. They should live in some mediterranean or latin american country for a while if they think people here have obsession with sex.

They have a more mature wholistic attitude to sex though. Even one night stands both parties treat each other with more respect and as whole beings with feelings etc.

Sex isn't just about ....the deed. Its always about a whole lot more. One nights stands still involve intimacy even though there is zero commitment. I think its much healthier.

A one night stand should still have soul. Charm.

Porn is so glacial and charmless. Its SOULLESS ...and they never use condoms! Its like dead flesh.

I think its because we are judgemental about sex and porn ..if we weren't we could bring it into the open ....and it would start being something human.

[Deleted User]

KathleenGrant wrote: »

I am not having outrage. If you read my post in this thread I stated I have had nothing but considerate respectful partners. But I accept that some women are not as lucky as I was and some of them not through their own fault. Any more than I think men who are mistreated by women have been ****ing with female fire.

Some of them have.

And in amongst all the 'victims', some stupidly put themselves in harms way and don't deserve the sympathy the easily led are so keen to dole out. That's the point I'm making.

Not everyone we think is a victim is really a victim at all. There's a big difference between being lured into a situation where you get hurt and just walking into it of your own free will. So that's my point.

If someone chooses to date an asshole and ends up getting hurt along the way, they're not absolved of any responsibility for the crap decision they made. They shouldn't be, not by default. Clearly, there are some situations (such as rape) where it's black and white.

But a lot of the time I simply don't believe that the people who think they're victims are really so. Sometimes it's just people putting themselves in harms way and they can't wash their hands of their responsibility to look after themselves.

[Deleted User]

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

They have a more mature wholistic attitude to sex though. Even one night stands both parties treat each other with more respect and as whole beings with feelings etc.

Sex isn't just about ....the deed. Its always about a whole lot more. One nights stands still involve intimacy even though there is zero commitment. I think its much healthier.

A one night stand should still have soul. Charm.

Porn is so glacial and charmless. Its SOULLESS ...and they never use condoms!

There's a real Hollywood Movies crossed with Mills & Boon level romanticised view of the casual, animalistic sexual encounter in the form of a ONS going on there, ILYV. It's an itch and it gets scratched.

Don't mistake a casual approach to that base desire for some fantastical engagement of all the senses, of higher levels of respect and soulful immersion in the moment. They just have fewer sexual hangups and don't see the need for all the BS when they just want to hammer at it for a while.

Sometimes a ride is all either party want. No more than that. And in other parts of Europe that's perfectly fine. No need to discuss it, no need to have 'feelings' involved. Make like a panda. Job done.

Raconteuse

Crikey if a man said he was mistreated by a woman, it wouldn't even occur to me to say "he must be attracted to bitches, if you play with fire you'll get burned"! :eek:

bfa1509 wrote: »

I enjoy doing sex

blade1 wrote: »

I've a funny feeling you didn't write the Kama Sutra.

Sober Crappy Chemis wrote: »

Such a wordsmith. I’m all a flutter...

Reminds me of the German Homer doppelganger - "Ve vill go to a sensibly priced restaurant and then return for a night of efficient German sex."