qwerty13 wrote: » How is it possible to fight fire with fire, and fight your corner discreetly? That makes no sense to me. And Strumms, it seems like you’re advocating escalating the situation. I don’t think that’s a good idea until the OP has the proper lay of the land.
Fracture wrote: » If this as America i'd say take a gun into work and take them out....but this is Ireland so i'd say just do your own thing, chat to them when the opportunity comes up, sooner or later they will chat to you more and it will all be good.
Sono wrote: » Not condoning their behaviour but what exactly would you be reporting them for? They haven’t done anything to report them for other than being rude, for me that is not anything to be going to management about.
Tomw86 wrote: » Ok, you mention its a large organisation - so I presume there is other people in your department but not on your team. What you should do, or what I would advise is firstly - do as Strumms said, except tone it a bit with this 'clique'. Then start chatting to people on other teams, you will find someone you click with and have similar interests as, this will become more and more the more you chat to people. Even join a table in the canteen of people you don't know but recognise as being in your dept - they may chat to you, they may not. Also, why do you want to be part of this clique - leave them to it unless they initiate the conversation.
manbitesdog wrote: » Maybe check out the HSA’s advice on bullying and see if it’s applicable: https://www.hsa.ie/eng/Workplace_Health/Bullying_at_Work/Are_you_being_Bullied/ On here you’ll mostly get a load of posters telling you to “lighten up”, “retaliate”, or other such idiocy.
manbitesdog wrote: » You just asked someone why they want to feel part of their actual team at work.
dvdman1 wrote: » Checking to see if you qualify as a victim is idiocy
Tomw86 wrote: » No, I asked why they want to be part of the clique when the socialise outside of the work they're doing.... The OP is part of the team as their work contributes towards the teams KPIs. They don't have to talk to anyone or socialise with them to be part of a team where you get paid to complete tasks.
Strumms wrote: » It’s poor behavior.. I’ve always and indeed others in my last job made definite efforts to help new additions to the department settle in. Both in terms of them into their work roles and indeed as regards the more social aspects of working in a team.. In other scenarios I’ve been in and when I’ve been ‘that new guy’ I was left to fend for myself too.... lunch on my own, others were asked if they wanted anything in the shop but not me, if I needed to ask a question as a newbie...”come on, you are just back from your training you need to know that”. I worked out the best way to fight fire with fire was to act like them... I had asked one guy for help but he refused saying “I’m not here to babysit you”. A few weeks later the same fella had asked if I’d take some of his reports as he was behind...my reply was... “I’m not running a baby sitting service”... Then later...”hey Strumms you going to the shop ?” My reply..”yes I am” and off I went. Eventually apologies were forthcoming and the air was cleared after all be it a flimsy excuse that they’d been on the receiving end of some rather ‘average’ additions to the team but I didn’t see that as an excuse. Whatever you do, fight fire with fire and don’t be an easy touch, fight your corner discreetly.
manbitesdog wrote: » Yeah, like I thought, this thread will just be full of dopey posts like this. Look elsewhere OP.
manbitesdog wrote: » Isolating one member of a team in the way described could very well constitute bullying. It is not conducive to a positive and productive workplace.
the whole year inn wrote: » If some one was that rude to me then I wouldn't talk with them unless have to . I dont have to be friends with them but I dont need to their best friend either. If I was the OP I wouldnt report them , Id just keep going the way you are your bound to interact with people during the day and in time youll have your own work friends. Completely agree - put better than I attempted too!!
Completely agree - put better than I attempted too!!
Tomw86 wrote: » I see you changed/deleted the post I quoted above...wow, you sound like you'd fit right in in that clique.
Tomw86 wrote: » What do you work as Manbitesdog?
pauliebdub wrote: » I've a horrible problem with a new team I've joined over a month ago when I started my new job. I work in a team of 8 within a much larger organisation and for a completely unknown reason they are refusing to engage with me at all apart from showing me the ropes. A few examples: they laugh and joke amongst themselves and ignore any contribution I make to the conversation. They head out to lunch by themselves leaving me alone at my desk. The one time I joined them in the canteen for breakfast they stopped talking when I sat down and went silent until I finished eating and left. How do I deal with this. I'd love this job to work out so not interested in quitting but It's very frustrating. I'm also reluctant to report them. Thanks.
manbitesdog wrote: » The behavior the OP sounds very like bullying by social exclusion. The OP is the one experiencing it so they need to judge for themselves.
manbitesdog wrote: » Deliberately excluding a colleague in this way is bullying.
manbitesdog wrote: » Because on second thought I was being too abrasive, which was before I knew anyone had quoted it.
