Orange369 wrote: » You will 100% need your OH to take paternity leave as soon as baby is born. My husband waited a week when our 1st was born and it was horrible him going off to work so tired and trying to do it all myself. To be honest I would tell the MIL that you need time to adjust before she comes, maybe when baby is 3 or so weeks. Sure imagine you end up having a section you will be recovering yourself and last thing you need is a visitor staying in your house. The amount of people wanting to visit is intense never mind them staying! And also you never know when baby might appear, it could be 2 weeks early or up to 2 weeks later so defo not a good idea for her to book flights just in case. It is hard though to approach if he is happy for it to happen but honestly you will want it to be just the 3 of you for at least 2 weeks to get a grip of it all. Hopefully your own parents will be supportive too
Antares35 wrote: » Thanks! Yes I think even 2 weeks with just the three of us is reasonable, at minimum. I'll talk to him about it. I am sure he will understand, he is probably nervous as a first time dad and jumped at the chance to have his mum there, without thinking it through. I can ask him to take the full paternity leave those two weeks, and maybe some annual leave when his mother is here. The big thing I am worried about is trying to breastfeed - I really want to make a go of it but have heard how difficult it can be - can only imagine the stress of trying to do it with an in-law there too!
Orange369 wrote: » I didn't breastfeed with my 1st, I tried in hospital and couldn't get her to latch on and the midwives were just too busy to help so I was kinda just left and it was all very overwhelming but there is so much support out there if its something you really want to do. I pumped a bit at the start and first feed was breast so that made me feel good that she at least got some from me! Fair play though for wanting to do it.
Antares35 wrote: » Yes apparently the first is the best with all that magical colostrum! To be honest, after nine months shiraz-free I might just decide actually I want my body back now!:D[/QUOTE Stop! Roll on all the wine 😂😂 I feel like Iv been basically pregnant for 2 years lol
Antares35 wrote: » I don't know if any of you are missing your usual tipple. We found a lovely sparkling wine in Tesco - it is their own brand and there is a chardonnay and a rosé version. I don't know if legally it is "alcohol free" - apparently the content is "less than 0.5%" and they call it "low alcohol". I only have 2 glasses because I am paranoid about the teeny alcohol content haha. Anyway, it's super yum and tastes just like the real thing. Quite refreshing. Even the OH is sipping it at weekends with me
dragonfly! wrote: » Not missing alcohol at all but I am really missing Brie I was away at the weekend and it was on every menu when we went out Then I googled and confused myself because apparently if its cooked its ok?
Dahdum wrote: » Same here....I’ve been totally confused by the cheese as I thought as long as it was pasteurised, it was fine. Not the case unless it’s cooked so like you I’m missing cheese as well. As for a tipple, have tried non alcoholic gin, seedlip....it’s fine but felt rough the next day after only 1 so will stick to my water from now on!
dragonfly! wrote: » Hard cheeses are ok So I’m getting my “fix “ from mozzarella and cheddar mix on a baked potato
Antares35 wrote: » Wanted to ask you ladies some advice. My OH is French, and his mother lives in France. She is delighted at the baby news, especially as he is an only boy. I'm thrilled and relieved she is happy, as we haven't told my parents yet and I am not sure how they will react! Anyway, he mentioned that she is planning to come over for "when the baby is born", which is May 25th hopefully. Initially, I was really happy that she is planning this - as a first time Dad, I think he will need his mam there for a week or two, and I am sure she will be a great support and great help as we adjust to being 3! I just have this little niggly feeling in the back of my mind, that I'll be coming home from hospital exhausted and with a tiny person that I am hoping to breastfeed and I will also have the worry of all that goes with hospitality - making sure bedroom prepared, meals provided etc. I just have a feeing it might be too much. I don't have the heart to say it to him, and I am glad he will have the support of his mum, but I think it would be better if she came when the baby is a couple of weeks old? We also need time as a couple to get used to this new person and become a family of 3. I really don't want to sound mean spirited - she is a lovely woman and clearly has the best intentions. Any ideas how to approach this? He asked me when I want him to take paternity leave and I suggested while his mum is here so that he can look after her and spend time together etc.
wuffly wrote: » Its a very personal thing, for me it would be an absolute no. I live abroad and my own Mam came over when my son was 2 weeks old, my sis in law was also passing through from a backpacking trip. He should have been a month old but he was 2 weeks late, so we didn't have as much settling in time as we had planned. Unfortunately for me BF was a big struggle the first 2 wks were actually fine but just as our visitors descended it started to go wrong, he had un-diagnosed tongue tie and his poor latch really start to cause damage at this stage. What i needed was to be able to just go to bed with him skin to skin/hang out with my boobs out to heal etc... Not easily done with my Mam who didn't bf (was advised against it back in the day) she was being supportive but didn't really know what to do. She couldn't go anywhere on her own and it was too hot for her to go for walks. My sis in law who i really like was just pissing about on the sofa and utterly useless. My OH ended up trying entertain her which i really resented at the time. Long story short it was a disaster. This time I'm not having any visitors and not going home until BF is established. On the other hand I know lots of my friends here had Mums & Mums in law come over and would highly recommend it. What ever you decided I would say don't book a ticket until you are sure you are ready for visitors. BF can be though at the start, it really needs time and support. I gave up at 10 weeks and it still gets me down as i feel those early weeks really messed up. I was quiet naive and didn't realise BF could be so hard & exhausting at the beginning, i know its not like that for everyone.
Vaquita wrote: » Thank you for this! I am due my first in June and am afraid of this happening! I live in UAE so by June, any visitors will not be able to do any outdoor activities by themselves and I would really resent my OH going off trying to entertain visitors if I needed him at home. Both of our mums and SIL would want to be there from the birth. While my mum would be really helpful to have around, so experienced with tinies and knows when and how to make herself busy and Id love to keep her for months. But MIL and SIL (while lovely) can be a bit temperamental and need constant entertainment. I don't know how to phrase this without upsetting OH and MIL.... At least I have time to work it out still!
Antares35 wrote: » Feck I've been munching away on my fresh mozzarella and tomato salads Is anyone else finding it hard to stick to a healthy diet? I have to really make an effort to eat fruit, fish etc. I used to love salmon and now it kind of turns my stomach a bit. When my morning (well actually evening) sickness was bad, there was a good fortnight where I pretty much lived on bread and cheese - nothing else appealed to me. I'm getting plenty of calcium - lots of organic yogurts, cheese etc. and trying hard to include veg in everything, but really I just want starchy things like cheese on toast! The baked potato is a good idea
Antares35 wrote: » Thank you so much for this. That sounds like a nightmare :mad: Yes, I will definitely need to talk to him. I'll just say that there is no point booking anything until at least the birth because it could go over, and that we would need a few weeks ourselves first. I'll be better company for his mother then anyway! Has anyone booked or had their first appointment with Holles St yet? I'm due in next Tuesday. There wasn't any mention of a 12 week scan in the pack info or on their website. They only say that the 20-22 week one is available to all women. Surely they offer a 12 week one under public option also? Hope you are all doing well. Got engaged at the weekend! :D:D
KettleMH wrote: » Congrats! I'm going public in Holles St and I was seen in Pearse St Clinic for my first appointment. They don't have the facilities for a scan there so it is only if there is anything untoward that they will send you into Holles st for an appointment. We got a scan done privately and it was well worth the money!!
dragonfly! wrote: » Im not in Holles St but you dont get a 12 week scan in Wexford you just get the "big scan" around 20 weeks. Aw congrats to you lots of nice news for you the last while Enjoy the planning!
wuffly wrote: » Aw congrats Antares! Wonderful news, busy time! You'll get heaps arranged when the 2nd trimester energy buzz kicks in! Dragonfly I'm the same, I'll basically eat anything now as long as it doesn't make me sick! I had McD's yesterday... the last time i had it was when i was pregnant with my son! Its just not something I ever want to eat. I'm craving all sorts of Irish food that i can't get here. Really want proper white bread buttery toast and cully and sully chicken & veg soup.... that and proper chipper chips and proper cadburys! And diet coke they only have the horrible coca cola light stuff here! I'm on progesterone pessaries until 12wks and the side effects aren't pleasant, although it could be the random assortment of crap that is my diet at the moment. I had a 10 weeks scan last thurs, all looking good and strong heartbeat. I have 12 week NT scan next week.
KettleMH wrote: » Hi guys, has anyone attended pregnancy pilates and bought a ball for it? I bought an Opti one but as I was pumping it up I noticed the instructions say "not recommended for use throughout the pregnancy period ". Is there a specific ball I should get?
dragonfly! wrote: » Do you want anything that I can post to you? Great news about the scan!
wuffly wrote: » Aw thank you, that is very kind. I've got visitors coming in a few weeks so I am going to load them up!
dragonfly! wrote: » Has anyone bought anything for bump yet? We put a deposit on a travel system Our local nursery was doing 10 % off and you only need a 10% deposit to secure Can pay off as you go then so we decided to go for that option
Antares35 wrote: » Haven't bought anything yet. Will probably wait until after Christmas, we will be at the halfway mark then and there might be stuff in the sales? Hope you are all doing well! The weeks are flying in
