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Men, are you single? Your value system may be the problem

jon1981

Are you living out your purpose?!

This is a serious article :pac:

https://psiloveyou.xyz/why-women-lose-interest-its-two-things-afdf9bce098

I'll extract the hilarious part of this tripe:

When a man is fascinating, a woman will stay interested. This is a man who:

- is curious about the world and is a life-long learner
- has values and lives by them
- has deep, meaningful relationships (family and friends)
- respects his body & takes care of it
- takes real risks, and consequently, has interesting life experiences
- has hobbies/pastimes that bring him enjoyment
- is living out his purpose

He’s figured out what he wants to contribute to the world and is doing it. He’s ambitious but also takes time to relax and have fun. He’s intentional about building and pouring into those important to him. He wakes up each day excited to learn, do, contribute. A fulfilled man.

All of these things are a life force for him. He doesn’t need a woman to complete him. He has a full, thriving life already. He’s got it going on. He’s someone she can lean on, learn from, respect, and desire. He’s fully perfect & external to her. And that grounded, stable presence pulls her in.

We’ve all been in situations where someone we are dating is one but not the other. For example, someone who is fascinated with us but have nothing going on in their own life. That’s a turn off. Or the incredible person with the incredible life, but they barely reach out or make an effort. Also a turn off. Both pieces — fascinated and fascinating — are needed to maintain attraction.

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Hoboo

And the shelf of 40 year old single women then can't understand why they're still single.

Perfect woman: intelligent, loves cleaning, funny, loves you spending time with your mates, and looks like a Victoria's secret model. They're called unicorns for a reason.

daheff

OP

this says a lot about you that you actually seek out and read this tripe.

I hope YOUR value system is right (thats some kinda euphemism, right?)

Thelonious Monk

So they want a well rounded individual who is secure in themselves. Stop the press.

FishOnABike

TheValeyard wrote: »

Bunny boilers

Needs to be a dab hand at French cuisine too? Sure I'll try throwing together a bit of the oul lapin a la cocotte if it will keep herself happy.

jon1981

daheff wrote: »

OP

this says a lot about you that you actually seek out and read this tripe.

I hope YOUR value system is right (thats some kinda euphemism, right?)

Is this your best shot at an intelligent witty take down?! Try harder.

I thought after hours was the home of innocuous tripe?!

Did I offend you? I'm sorry. Perhaps the article struck resurrected some bitterness inside you

[Deleted User]

Homelander wrote: »

Am I mad or is that list just describing most normal people of both sexes, but trying to wrap up in some mysterious, faux-meaningful sounding rubbish?

Yeah it's like your man selling books with "clean your room"

[Deleted User]

Fanny **** wrote: »

I need to restrain myself when reading here at times. It's easy to bandy round the term "thickest thing I've ever read" when one can't remember all the stupidity ones been exposed to over the years. However I'm confident this is top 10 absolute minimum, probably top 5

tbh the hitler test is more useful than you're pretending in terms of dismissing or dispelling moronic positivity/personality mantra sheeite

[Deleted User]

Why is the op reading stuff like that in the first place?

Raconteuse

Hoboo wrote: »

And the shelf of 40 year old single women then can't understand why they're still single.

Who are these mythical 40-year-old single women who can't understand why they're single, and how is that sentence related to this topic?

Perfect woman: intelligent, loves cleaning, funny, loves you spending time with your mates, and looks like a Victoria's secret model. They're called unicorns for a reason.

They're... not called unicorns.

Talk about a random bunch of words cobbled together.

Hector Savage

- respects his body & takes care of it

While fat overweight women are celebrated ....

is_that_so

jon1981 wrote: »

Are you living out your purpose?!

This is a serious article :pac:

https://psiloveyou.xyz/why-women-lose-interest-its-two-things-afdf9bce098

I'll extract the hilarious part of this tripe:

You can flip that on its head very easily.
Sounds like an extract from a bad self-help book

Feisar

sugarman wrote: »

I love these kind of women's ideology of men.. particularly those that almost demand it in their bios on dating websites.

...and it's not just a few either, it's rampant.

They genuinely think that much of themselves and frustrated at the fact they can't find someone that fits their insane criteria.. their "Mr Perfect".

When the reality is, they themselves wouldn't tick half the boxes!

Little do they know, it's a massive red flag and the majority that might happen to read their profile have the sense to swipe left.

Let’s be honest if she’s a cracker with great tits she’s getting a right swipe.

Edit - I'm married so my swiping days are over. Hung up my boots, declared my innings, etc.

El_Duderino 09

is_that_so wrote: »

You can flip that on its head very easily.
Sounds like an extract from a bad self-help book

It might sound like that. But it’s hard to argue it’s bad advice. It might be basic stuff but you never know how much or how little other people know about this stuff. So maybe some people reading it are genuinely helped by it.

chrissb8

Hmm, this stuff always smacks of entitlement:

"He should have A, B and C. That's what women want"

Alright and what are you offering then? because the standard of which you're holding someone to is the same you should hold yourself to. I would hazard to guess anyone who writes or reads this tripe, as in the OP post has not got too much going on if they're reading such brain rot.

is_that_so

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

It might sound like that. But it’s hard to argue it’s bad advice. It might be basic stuff but you never know how much or how little other people know about this stuff. So maybe some people reading it are genuinely helped by it.

It falls into that category of the dummies guide to everything. Life is rarely that simple and heal thyself physician is a far better approach.

nkl12xtw5goz70

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

But it’s hard to argue it’s bad advice.

It's terrible advice. It's telling men who may already be insecure, depressed, and lonely that they won't find a girlfriend unless they can turn themselves into some combination of Elon Musk and James Bond — which is likely only to make their feelings of hopelessness worse.

El_Duderino 09

is_that_so wrote: »

It falls into that category of the dummies guide to everything. Life is rarely that simple and heal thyself physician is a far better approach.

Yeah. Some people are dummies. Some people are clueless in certain parts of their lives even if they’re normal in other parts of life.

scamalert

why is there no mention of supermodel in her 20s that will raise your flag every time you see her, will cater and cook for you day and night, will clean the house as she was on crack

thats the least criteria one would expect in return :pac:

[Deleted User]

I looked at the original article, its navel-gazing drivel from a well off or wealthy American woman how on earth has it any relevance.

El_Duderino 09

Hana Defeated Supertanker wrote: »

It's terrible advice. It's telling men who may already be insecure, depressed, and lonely that they won't find a girlfriend unless they can turn themselves into some combination of Elon Musk and James Bond — which is likely only to make their feelings of hopelessness worse.

Sure but it didn’t any of that, did it? It did t say you won’t get a girlfriend if... It didn’t set wildly highly, James Bond or Elon Musk, standards. It said some basic places to start.

I think the fact that you leapt to hyperbole instead of anything the piece actually said, is interesting. I didn’t think the article says anything revolutionary, I just think it’s grand, entry level advice.

ancapailldorcha

Hana Defeated Supertanker wrote: »

It's terrible advice. It's telling men who may already be insecure, depressed, and lonely that they won't find a girlfriend unless they can turn themselves into some combination of Elon Musk and James Bond — which is likely only to make their feelings of hopelessness worse.

Ditto. It's utterly dire. I got as far as below:

He pursues her. This is often where women lose interest, particularly in the early stages of dating. Men: woo her. Never stop wooing her.

If you pursue someone who isn't interested, is that not stalking or harassment? Many modern Feminists have an unfortunate tendency to demonise men and now we're encouraged to do this? No thanks. If she's not interested then I have no intention of playing silly games. The "chase" is just soul destroying and depressing.

nkl12xtw5goz70

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

If you pursue someone who isn't interested, is that not stalking or harassment?

Potentially, yes.

If she's not interested then I have no intention of playing silly games. The "chase" is just soul destroying and depressing.

Totally agreed. If she's not interested, then find someone else who is!

Wibbs

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

No thanks. If she's not interested then I have no intention of playing silly games. The "chase" is just soul destroying and depressing.

and usually counterproductive.

Fanny Wank

[Deleted User] wrote: »

tbh the hitler test is more useful than you're pretending in terms of dismissing or dispelling moronic positivity/personality mantra sheeite

I know all those words but that sentence makes no sense

Hoboo

Who are these mythical 40-year-old single women who can't understand why they're single, and how is that sentence related to this topic?

Who? You want names or what? Ridiculous question. If you're confused by the relationship to the question, well, your inability to link topics in a discussion is your issue. 10 year old stuff.

Raconteuse wrote: »

They're... not called unicorns.

Who aren't called unicorns? Who are the 'they' you refer to? I don't think you know what a unicorn refers to when talking about men and women.

Raconteuse wrote: »

Talk about a random bunch of words cobbled together.

Good one

Troll on.

Wibbs

Hector Savage wrote: »

While fat overweight women are celebrated ....

Not really, it's only in the pages of media aimed almost exclusively at women to A) sell more crap to overweight women, while

trying to keep the levels of insecurity going among the rest so they keep buying more crap so they don't fit into category A. The same outlets will have a story about a "plus sized model, celebrating her authenticity", photoshopped to hell on a beach somewhere, while in the same edition they'll field another section on how to lose weight, shift cellulite and get a flatter stomach. If marketing types thought for a second that the same thing would work with men then fat guys would be "celebrated" too. Real men have curves and that.

ancapailldorcha

Hana Defeated Supertanker wrote: »

Totally agreed. If she's not interested, then find someone else who is!

Yeah, I've started adopting the mindset of just expressing an interest once and then moving on. Just gets the whole thing over and done with.

There's a collaborator at work I had some interest in. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll be popping in again and I bottled it last time but I was planning just express an interest by asking her out and then moving on in the likely event of her refusing.

nkl12xtw5goz70

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Yeah, I've started adopting the mindset of just expressing an interest once and then moving on. Just gets the whole thing over and done with.

There's a collaborator at work I had some interest in. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll be popping in again and I bottled it last time but I was planning just express an interest by asking her out and then moving on in the likely event of her refusing.

That sounds like a good approach, honestly. I'm not into the idea of "the chase" either. Some people watch too many romantic comedies. That said, I hope she does come back in and you have a chance to talk to her again.

ancapailldorcha

Hana Defeated Supertanker wrote: »

That sounds like a good approach, honestly. I'm not into the idea of "the chase" either. Some people watch too many romantic comedies. That said, I hope she does come back in and you have a chance to talk to her again.

Yeah. In keeping with the OP, I did sort of just give up and decided to start doing things myself like reading more, solo travelling as my friends are getting engaged and just going to things in London as well like events and museums.

Thanks for that. It would be nice. A colleague interrupted me as I was talking to her. Saw her again at the end of the day and that's when I bottled it. Eurgh.

bnt

"He pursues her ... "

Then he had better look like Brad Pitt, or show obvious signs of wealth. If an average-looking guy "pursues", he'll soon be talking to the police.