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Why aren't you married?

begsbyOnaTrain

Are you married? If not, do you plan to? Is it something you want or think would be good for you? Or is it a thumbs down from you?

I'm married near two years now. I'd highly recommend it. Not to my wife though. She's taken.

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corner of hells

TheBoyConor wrote: »

It is irrevoable dspite divorce. They can always come after you again, even decades in the future, to claim a potion of your pension or anything you might inherit or anything else. You might be divorced but the link and liability is never fully severed, they can always come after you again.
The only way to be fully rid of them is to get an annullment. But that is only in very strict circumstances and is very rare.

You could kill them and not bother with the annulment.

H3llR4iser

Not married, no intention of ever, ever going that way. As a matter of fact, I've lived with an ex-girlfriend for about 3 years and have no intention of entering that kind of arrangement again either.

Waking up on a Saturday morning and knowing you can do whatever you please whenever you want is priceless, quickly followed by deciding where and when to take holidays based on your own preferences.

People have been trying to suggest I'll change my stance about this since I was 20, I am now nearly 40 and nothing changed. I've given it a try, as said above, but if anything...it strengthened by conviction - all I remember from that relationship was the loss of freedom and all the things I could not do anymore.

tylercheribini

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Not married, no intention of ever, ever going that way. As a matter of fact, I've lived with an ex-girlfriend for about 3 years and have no intention of entering that kind of arrangement again either.

Waking up on a Saturday morning and knowing you can do whatever you please whenever you want is priceless, quickly followed by deciding where and when to take holidays based on your own preferences.

People have been trying to suggest I'll change my stance about this since I was 20, I am now nearly 40 and nothing changed. I've given it a try, as said above, but if anything...it strengthened by conviction - all I remember from that relationship was the loss of freedom and all the things I could not do anymore.

Its beautiful, people attempt to sell me the joys of marriage through gritted teeth. My parents generation only hitched because of church dogma, no real reason now in modern Ireland.

pgj2015

Leg End Reject wrote: »

The thoughts of waking up one morning and looking over and wondering "what the fcuk was I thinking?" is enough to stop me.

Easy enough to get out if you've no legally binding contract that will cost a fortune to undo. I may also be slightly cynical by nature ...

very true, also its grand marrying some stunner in her 20's but what about when shes 70 or 80, will you still want to be with her then?

Melania Frump

I turned down a proposal years ago because he was a tennis player. Love meant nothing to him.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Apart from the tax and health insurance benefits I would receive, I don't see what the point of marriage is. Why would anybody get married?

Nika Bolokov

pgj2015 wrote: »

very true, also its grand marrying some stunner in her 20's but what about when shes 70 or 80, will you still want to be with her then?

Most stunners in their 20's prob think the same about 70 year old men.....

Standing up in front if all your loved ones and signing a legal contract saying you'll spend your whole life with someone is a beautiful thing.

pgj2015

Nika Bolokov wrote: »

Most stunners in their 20's prob think the same about 70 year old men.....

Standing up in front if all your loved ones and signing a legal contract saying you'll spend your whole life with someone is a beautiful thing.

moving out of your nice big house, selling land and moving into a 1 bed apartment because shes getting the house isnt a beautiful thing id imagine.

nkl12xtw5goz70

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Now, someone who will love me enough but leave me alone a lot of the time, respect my independence and not be non-stop chattering sounds right to me.

Married. My wife checks all these boxes—otherwise I'd probably still be single.

[Deleted User]

To be honest I feel that my dislike of the idea of being married would be different if I were more securely attached as a person. My feelings are a bit all over the place when it comes to the commitment that it means.

My second post on this thread is probably closer to the truth. A kind of wish and hope and 'wow imagine if' which is muddled up with fear and then defended with 'marriage, pfft!'

The heart is a funny thing.

igCorcaigh

Not married, nor plan to be.

Have been with my (same sex) partner for 10 years, no kids, happy and have no desire to marry.

Personally I think love and partnership is voluntary and, for me, not coerced by a legal contract.

Each to their own though. I appreciate the stability and assurance it affords for some couples, especially with children. Or property involved.

Leg End Reject

pgj2015 wrote: »

very true, also its grand marrying some stunner in her 20's but what about when shes 70 or 80, will you still want to be with her then?

Well, I am a straight woman, so that's not the concern.

I'm not talking about fading looks as the years roll on at all, that shouldn't be a surprise. It's more the realisation that you don't actually like the person in bed beside you anymore.

Lily_Aldrin7

I’ve been with my partner for 7 and a half years, we had our first child almost 4 years ago, second one on the way now - it just feels like we missed the opportunity. As in, if we didn’t do it before we had kids, there is no point in doing it now. We plan on being together forever and obviously having kids is quite the big commitment but we don’t see the point in signing papers to make it official..

bitofabind

Haven't found someone I want to do it with. Yet. I'd marry the right guy. Someone I felt I could do life with, at least for a few decades. It's not top of my list of priorities, but I like the idea of the commitment of it and the family unit and all of that. And the ring :pac:

pgj2015

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Well, I am a straight woman, so that's not the concern.

I'm not talking about fading looks as the years roll on at all, that shouldn't be a surprise. It's more the realisation that you don't actually like the person in bed beside you anymore.

oh right, even if you are not married its not so easy to wash your hands of them sometimes, if you buy a house, meet someone, he moves in to your house and live there for 5 years or more, ye split, hes entitled to half your house as far as I know.

I wouldnt marry anyone or have kids, but would be in a long term relationship where we both live in separate houses, very romantic I know.

RhubarbCrumble

A friend of mine is almost 70 now. She's been with her partner for over 30 years but never married him. On a night out recently she was interrogated by the local 'nosey aul biddy' as to why she'd never got married. "I don't know really, I suppose I was just lucky" she replied airily.

Took the wind right out of Biddy's sails.

Leg End Reject

pgj2015 wrote: »

oh right, even if you are not married its not so easy to wash your hands of them sometimes, if you buy a house, meet someone, he moves in to your house and live there for 5 years or more, ye split, hes entitled to half your house as far as I know.

I wouldnt marry anyone or have kids, but would be in a long term relationship where we both live in separate houses, very romantic I know.

You can sort that out legally before moving in, or live separately as you say.

Romance is over rated anyway.

Princess Calla

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

A friend of mine is almost 70 now. She's been with her partner for over 30 years but never married him. On a night out recently she was interrogated by the local 'nosey aul biddy' as to why she'd never got married. "I don't know really, I suppose I was just lucky" she replied airily.

Took the wind right out of Biddy's sails.

Know someone similar, someone referred to him as her husband... She pipes up...Oh he's not my husband, he's my lover

Lily_Aldrin7

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

A friend of mine is almost 70 now. She's been with her partner for over 30 years but never married him. On a night out recently she was interrogated by the local 'nosey aul biddy' as to why she'd never got married. "I don't know really, I suppose I was just lucky" she replied airily.

Took the wind right out of Biddy's sails.

I love it !

andekwarhola

Yes, and it's tax efficient lovely.

andekwarhola

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Waking up on a Saturday morning and knowing you can do whatever you please whenever you want is priceless, quickly followed by deciding where and when to take holidays based on your own preferences.

I hate to break this to you but you can do most that when you're married anyway if you're compatible.

TeaBagMania

dont want to lose half the house "I" paid for when "she" decides to leave

[Deleted User]

Can’t be arsed. We have a kid and been together 7 years. Maybe will do one day! It won’t be a big wedding anyway, sounds like hell to me.

tylercheribini

andekwarhola wrote: »

I hate to break this to you but you can do most that when you're married anyway if you're compatible.

Nope,always some level of compromise involved at some stage, it wouldnt function otherwise. "Whatever you want,whenever you please" does not exist in relationship jargon.

andekwarhola

tylercheribini wrote: »

Nope,always some level of compromise involved at some stage, it wouldnt function otherwise. "Whatever you want,whenever you please" does not exist in relationship jargon.

Not even non married relationships or friendships are without a little compromise, to be fair.

tylercheribini

andekwarhola wrote: »

Not even non married relationships or friendships are without a little compromise, to be fair.

Agreed but im not legally tied to those people and living with them day in,day out, I retain the agency to walk away from friends at any time haha.

[Deleted User]

I was very happily single, now very happily not single. Will be tying the knot soon enough, engaged the last 18 months-ish, moved many miles together, bought a house, endured tough times. There won't be a big wedding, it'll probably be just the two of us and immediate family. That's we want, we're already a team. He makes even good things better.

igCorcaigh

Candie wrote: »

I was very happily single, now very happily not single. Will be tying the knot soon enough, engaged the last 18 months-ish, moved many miles together, bought a house, endured tough times. There won't be a big wedding, it'll probably be just the two of us and immediate family. That's we want, we're already a team. He makes even good things better.

Why get married though, just curious?

[Deleted User]

igCorcaigh wrote: »

Why get married though, just curious?

Why not? It'll be nice to be each others next of kin, especially with a baby on the way. It offers social and legal protections in case of death and disaster, and while I don't particularly care one way or another, The Chap always saw himself as being married some day and it's something he actively wants.

decky1

Don't even think about it, and if you do make sure you have your own bank account [secret that is] my bitch did me for 20,000