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Child Item

Why aren't you married?

begsbyOnaTrain

Are you married? If not, do you plan to? Is it something you want or think would be good for you? Or is it a thumbs down from you?

I'm married near two years now. I'd highly recommend it. Not to my wife though. She's taken.

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TheBoyConor

Loss of independence and freedom.
Putting pressure on you for babies and nagging in general.
Expectations and obligations.
The ever present threat of having half of everything you have pulled from under you, probably more like 75% if you factor in legal costs and the costs of setting yourself up again.
Even divorce isn't final. They can come after you again for your pension and any inheritance you might receive in the future.

No thanks.

bertsmom

Female 37 here. Went out with a great guy for years and years but never felt the need to marry. We broke up a few years agoand I'm loving living alone and having a free and easy life. Seeing a guy now that I absolutely love to bits and plan on moving to be living in the same town in a year or two but we agree that we will always keep our own homes and not live together or marry.
Works great for us!

Day Lewin

I love being married. Decades into it, and still going strong.

Ask me anything.

Greyfox

No because its a stupid piece of paper and a relic from the past, when your living with someone already its almost pointless. Although i'm open to marriage if the right person insists on it

s7ryf3925pivug

I got married because you get marginal tax benefits, stronger rights with your own offspring (as a male), my wife wanted to and I was happy with her and our relationship. But I still think marriage is a load of bollocks, which shouldn't affect tax or father's rights the way it does.

jam_mac_jam

Main reason for us is the house. If somebody dies then the other person will have to pay tax on it like they are a stranger also things like next of kin. Legal things. Not very romantic but the truth.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Deleted User wrote: »

Married? What? The very thought of it feels like a rope curling around my heart and lungs and sucking the life out of me.

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I'm same Perse. Happy as a single gal.

I’m married but I would happily be single rather than with the wrong person. Good for ye. Society piles on the pressure to marry, especially on women.

Wibbs

There would have been two women in my life I could have seen being married to, but things got in the way. Oddly enough neither were at fault, mostly life circumstances got in the way and we dropped the ball a bit. But after the last one something in my mechanism broke and I haven't gotten within an asses roar of feelings and basic compatibilities like that and TBH don't expect to. Many if not most folks seem to able to fall in love much more easily than I've ever been able to. I wouldn't get into such a serious setup like marriage when it would feel like a "downgrade" of sorts and not fair on anyone(or me).

theteal

Over 4 years in now. I could have lived without it but herself wanted it - and I mean it's not like we could have found some actual useful things to do with that lump of money! It didn't change anything from the previous 9 years. I made a promise to her early in the relationship and I stand by it, I don't need a piece of paper to hold me to it.

maccored

was married was 25 years, but once the kids were grown we decided to live life again, split up and do our own thing. Best decision ever.

Signore Fancy Pants

Married 10 months, nothing has changed, still allowed see my friends

. She's not though, cant be havin' that.

Happy out.

Tell me how

I lost a significant portion of my life to depression. Between my mental state of mind during that time, and the medication I was on, I had no belief, desire, ability to pursue a meaningful relationship. This happened at an age when, typically, people develop long term relationships leading to marriage.
Even after I overcame the depression and had stopped medication, it took time to get myself back in to that space of being able to consider participating in a serious relationship.

I would love to be married. As long as that marriage is founded on a deep love between me and my wife. During the above years, I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be with me and the thought of someone I love wanting to say 'I do' to spending the rest of their life with me is very very appealing to me. But, like others who have posted, I have no wish to be married to tick that box or to fit in to any societal expectation of coupling up. The fear of waking up some day and feeling that I am trapped (to some degree) in the wrong place is definitely something I never want to experience.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

Main reason for us is the house. If somebody dies then the other person will have to pay tax on it like they are a stranger also things like next of kin. Legal things. Not very romantic but the truth.

Yeah if we ever do it it'll probably be for reasons like that. My uncle recently married his partner of some 30-odd years for similarly practical reasons. It's kind of crazy that a couple who married after like 18 months are considered more legitimately related to each other in legal and financial sense than couples like them and yourselves.

Lux23

Engaged, waiting to buy a house and then we might have a small wedding.

tylercheribini

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"-Groucho Marx

Sleepy

Franklin Disgusting Lamp wrote: »

I got married because you get marginal tax benefits, stronger rights with your own offspring (as a male), my wife wanted to and I was happy with her and our relationship. But I still think marriage is a load of bollocks, which shouldn't affect tax or father's rights the way it does.

This is about it for me too tbh. If there weren't legal, taxation and inheritance advantages to being married, I'd probably never have done it.

jam_mac_jam

Sleepy wrote: »

This is about it for me too tbh. If there weren't legal, taxation and inheritance advantages to being married, I'd probably never have done it.

Yes me too its expensive. We are having a tiny wedding but its still adding up all these little things here and there that you feel you have to have. I know you don't of course but jesus, its expensive.

SusanC10

Married 15 years. Together 17. Been through a lot together but we are happy. I wouldn't be without him !

seenitall

I'm divorced, if that answers the question in any way...

It's good to try most things (within reason!) in life at least once!

Thelonious Monk

I often hear this tax thing, but seriously is it even noticeable? Do you just pay less income tax or something?

quokula

Been in a serious relationship for the best part of a decade, living together for years, neither of us see the point in marriage (and particularly neither of us want the hassle of a big wedding day with relatives etc)

Probably will for reasons of tax etc at some point but doing that feel so cynical.

Tzardine

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I often hear this tax thing, but seriously is it even noticeable? Do you just pay less income tax or something?

Makes a huge difference if one person is a high earner and the other does not work or has a low salary.

You basically take all the unused allowances of the second person. Allowing you to earn a lot more before you hit the higher tax rate.

madmaggie

I have a very happy life, middle aged, single, contented. I have been asked many times if I regretted not having children. Not a bit. But to say you were never bothered about babies seems to be a very unfeminine thing to say.

freshpopcorn

My ugliness!

DaeryssaOne

I love being married. We were living together for more than a decade when we got engaged and I didn't think it would actually change anything but making that commitment to each other has definitely made us feel even closer and more of a team.
It feels like we are our own family unit now rather than a boyfriend and girlfriend who live together if that makes sense.

Having said all of that, I agree with the poster above, you would need to make sure you're marrying the right person, you never want to feel trapped in a relationship and being married makes it that much more difficult to get out of it.

ArrBee

begsbyOnaTrain wrote: »

I'm married near two years now. I'd highly recommend it. .

What aspects make you recommend it, specifically?

El_Duderino 09

madmaggie wrote: »

I have a very happy life, middle aged, single, contented. I have been asked many times if I regretted not having children. Not a bit. But to say you were never bothered about babies seems to be a very unfeminine thing to say.

I admire someone for being honest and say they just aren't interested in having children. Better to have thought about it and made a positive decision than to go with the flow and have children only to realise you don't want them. You're doing your own thing, and other people doing their own thing is fine by me.

eviltwin

We only got married for the inheritance tax. I wouldn't think we'd have bothered otherwise. I'm not against marriage and I don't have any regrets but apart from the legal protection it offers I can't see why anyone would do it. It hasn't changed anything for us.

Leg End Reject

The thoughts of waking up one morning and looking over and wondering "what the fcuk was I thinking?" is enough to stop me.

Easy enough to get out if you've no legally binding contract that will cost a fortune to undo. I may also be slightly cynical by nature ...

TheBoyConor

It is irrevoable dspite divorce. They can always come after you again, even decades in the future, to claim a potion of your pension or anything you might inherit or anything else. You might be divorced but the link and liability is never fully severed, they can always come after you again.
The only way to be fully rid of them is to get an annullment. But that is only in very strict circumstances and is very rare.