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Do you fear public speaking?

mr_fegelien

Might have to give a 10 minute speech in December this year for my course and dreading it a bit. Anyone give speeches regularly?

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Dramatik

I generally don't prepare for my presentations, I found that preparing for them made me more nervous. I'll just pick a couple of topics that I want to speak on. Sure sometimes you'll forget something you wanted to speak about but I find it makes for a less robotic performance in the end. Sometimes some light humor can help win the crowd over, if you're bold enough you could even ask the audience a question. What ask the audience? No, never! It's actually a tool I use sometimes to help me, basically you ask the audience a question to do with your subject, that you know the answer to, then you maybe pick one or two people to answer, most of the time they won't know and then you answer it for them making yourself look all smart and stuff. You can even do the whole presentation this way, you ask the audience a question, see what their view or answer is then give your own feedback on their answer. If you are getting through your presentation to quickly you can use this method to waste a bit of time.

Mad_maxx

When I was in secondary school, being asked to read in class caused me to become near unable to breathe, it was a completely traumatic experience which happened about once per week, didn't know what was causing it at the time but the fear had passed by the time I was seventeen

Teachers are assh0les sometimes, vast majority of people will never need to speak publicly, students should not be asked to read in school

Filmer Paradise

I've done it a handfull of times.

First time was a disaster. I didn't prepare & wound up rambling.

After that I did some prep work & wrote everything down.

My tip is not to use a single sheet or sheets of paper. You will lose your place in it too easily. Also it looks amateurish.

Use a series of cue cards outlining your points as you go along. Your memory will do the rest.

Before you do your speech, make sure you have your cards in your pocket in the correct order.

Job done.:)

CelticRambler

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

My tip is not to use a single sheet or sheets of paper. You will lose your place in it too easily. Also it looks amateurish.

I remember being at Mass once and one doddery aul' wan was coerced into doing a reading. She took her place at the lectern, head down, started to read from the book, flipped over onto the next page and didn't notice the puzzled faces of the priest and congretation. She'd accidentally turned two pages at once, but was in full robot-reader mode and didn't realise she was now a Sunday ahead of the rest of us ...

endacl

LionelNashe wrote: »

I'm unaccustomed to it.

As you are.

Filmer Paradise

CelticRambler wrote: »

I remember being at Mass once and one doddery aul' wan was coerced into doing a reading. She took her place at the lectern, head down, started to read from the book, flipped over onto the next page and didn't notice the puzzled faces of the priest and congretation. She'd accidentally turned two pages at once, but was in full robot-reader mode and didn't realise she was now a Sunday ahead of the rest of us ...

I find cue cards a great help. They keep you on track & in command of the situation.

Just keep them in the right order & it's all good.

mondeo

I fear in case my voice goes all squeeky for a few seconds during the speech for no apparent reason.

twignme

Try to get your speech into your 'unconscious mind' rather than your concious one. You don't want to do it by rote becuase that is what will make you nervous in case you forget a word or a phrase. If you need reminders, put single words on cards and if you have more than one card, tie them together using a treasury tag.
Have a look at the skill of visualisation there's plenty information about it available - visualise yourself standing up, going to your place, looking out, talking. Visualise doing it all really well. It's what rugby players and golfers do. Embrace that adrenaline and don't fear it, it's a mighty thing to utilise. Dont try to be perfect, be passionate.

Tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em.
Tell'em.
Tell 'em what you told 'em.

Good luck !!!

mikemac2

Bertie Ahern stammered and stuttered and became leader of the nation

Nobody is looking for world class perfection in a speech and even if goes terribly people will feel the pain and know that was themselves one day

robman60

It is something I always get very nervous about right before doing it. It's also very much dependent on the context. I don't find an academic presentation nerve-wracking. The thought of something like a best man's speech makes me want to die, though.

[Deleted User]

I find what works for me is to have a word for word preparation for the opening, just to get me speaking, but after that just to know the message that I am trying to get across rather than word for word. Allows me to be more fluid and before I know it I'm cracking jokes (I never crack jokes), works well for me

facehugger99

I hate it.

Best advice is to practice it over and over out loud ( I will literally practice it many dozens of times the week before I need to present). Once you get used to the rhythm of it you'll almost be able to go into autopilot.

Dial Hard

mikemac2 wrote: »

Bertie Ahern stammered and stuttered and became leader of the nation

Most of that was an affectation. He started doing it to make himself appear more affable and endearing to the voting public. If you ever see some of his earlier speeches on Reeling in the Years or the like, he's perfectly articulate.

Bobblehats

Deleted User wrote: »

Allows me to be more fluid and before I know it I'm cracking jokes (I never crack jokes), works well for me

Not everybody gets them though. Have you ever pulled a Christmas cracker only to find a joke inside? Then you’ve cracked a joke ..

pgj2015

yes, if someone asked me to be their best man id refuse. i used to halve a vodka or two before most of my college presentations and they went well.

The One Doctor

Have to admit that I love public speaking. Looking for a job as a trainer at the moment, love the rush of standing up in front of loads of people. Best man gig always goes well.

spurious

Mad_maxx wrote:

Teachers are assh0les sometimes, vast majority of people will never need to speak publicly, students should not be asked to read in school

Except now it is part of the lovely 'improved' exam system and everyone has to do it in English.

pgj2015

There should be way more public speaking in primary and secondary school,then we wouldnt fear it so much by the time we go to college.

B.A._Baracus

It's easy.
Don't get me wrong, we all brick it the first time. But it's not that hard. It's a mental game. If you think you're gonna be nervous and crap then you will be nervous and crap.

Have confidence if your ability.

The_Honeybadger

I had a crippling fear of public speaking but it eased over time the more I did it. I have to speak in public and on the local radio fairly regularly now and while it might be a stretch to say I like it, I don’t obsess about it beforehand any more.

Know your subject and practice over and over beforehand is the only advice I can give.

Apiarist

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

It's easy.
Don't get me wrong, we all brick it the first time. But it's not that hard. It's a mental game. If you think you're gonna be nervous and crap then you will be nervous and crap.

Have confidence if your ability.

Exactly. So make the first speech in front of a mirror and then for a couple of friends and time yourself. It's just practice.

NSAman

Ladies, Gentlemen, Reverend Father and Mother’s.. (please don’t use this)..;)

mojesius

I never feared public speaking until I had a bad experience early in my career. Then I was absolutely terrified of it and avoided it as long as I could in work until eventually, (2-3 years later) I had to give a huge presentation (with no PowerPoint etc) in work to 100+ people. Spent the whole week beforehand not sleeping, unproductive, plagued with anxiety.

An actor friend came over at the weekend after I was texting him nearly having a nervous breakdown and he spent hours helping me and coaching me. All went grand on the day despite my fears.

My role now is a lot of presentations, leading meetings/trainings every week and I don't think twice about it. Looking back, my mistake was actively avoiding public speaking after the bad experience, that exacerbated my anxiety over it.

pgj2015

mojesius wrote: »

I never feared public speaking until I had a bad experience early in my career. Then I was absolutely terrified of it and avoided it as long as I could in work until eventually, (2-3 years later) I had to give a huge presentation (with no PowerPoint etc) in work to 100+ people. Spent the whole week beforehand not sleeping, unproductive, plagued with anxiety.

An actor friend came over at the weekend after I was texting him nearly having a nervous breakdown and he spent hours helping me and coaching me. All went grand on the day despite my fears.

My role now is a lot of presentations, leading meetings/trainings every week and I don't think twice about it. Looking back, my mistake was actively avoiding public speaking after the bad experience, that exacerbated my anxiety over it.

what happened the time you had a bad experience?

[Deleted User]

I used to hate it... I did the whole "prepare it to the last detail" thing and then invariably someone would ask a question or the presentation would jump 2 slides and I'd get lost. Always a ball of nerves and sleepless nights beforehand.

One time I had to give a 10 minute talk to a college class about my career. I again religiously prepared my 10 minutes. When I stood up, someone handed me a microphone and said "You have an hour". I just said well that's me fxxed" (not out loud of course) so I stuck up the first slide, ignored my meticulous notes and started talking. Kept going like that until she said "you can finish up now" after what seemed to me like 10 minutes. Turned out I'd managed to talk for an hour off the cuff. People complimented me on the talk afterwards. I NEVER got complimented on any of my stiff rehearsed speeches.

Ever since I've just written the main points down and then I talk round them. No nerves anymore.

This probably sounds bizarre but it really wasn't - at my dad's funeral mass I got a standing ovation. I like to think he was clapping too somewhere.

If someone asked you to explain something you already know would you spend a week in front of a mirror practising first? Of course not. This is no different.

Yer Da sells Avon

At my mother's funeral, seven years ago, I was asked to do a reading, but chickened out. The thought of standing up there in front of a microphone in a packed church terrified me. So I did the 'bringing the gifts up to the alter' thing instead. Nice easy job. I nearly tripped on the way up the aisle, which caused my brother to burst into uncontrollable sniggering. He had to pretend he was crying, but fooled nobody.

Anyway, more recently, my granny died. Again, there was no way that I was going to do a reading. It was a much smaller funeral (she was in her late 80s, so most of the people she knew had already kicked it), which oddly made it even more intimidating. Anyway, someone else bailed out at the last minute, so without thinking too much about it, I took their Responsorial Psalm notes and strolled up to the alter (my cunt of a brother discreetly stuck his foot out to try and trip me, but there was no stumbling this time). It was grand. I felt completely comfortable up there. I read what I had to read (very nicely and clearly, according to witnesses at the scene), even remembering to pause for the responses.

At work, I occasionally have to make announcements over the PA system (and when that's not working, I have to just discard my dignity altogether and roar instead). I get a real kick out of throwing the odd silly quip in and hearing rumblings of laughter/seeing confused faces.

For me, the idea of public speaking was way more scary than the reality. Once I conquered that fear and stopped overthinking it, it wasn't a problem for me.

Toastmasters Kildare Town

Toastmasters is definitely the best option and there are over 100 clubs in Ireland

You can visit as a guest to see how it works and see if it suits you.

Then if you want to join, the cost is about €85-€100 depending on the club and usually a small fee of about €5 per meeting to pay for tea/coffee and room hire.

For something like the op, you will learn how to write an interesting speech and you can then deliver that speech in front of club members and get feedback on any changes to make.

A local club probably has 4 meetings before your speech, so it's tight, but doable.

Age group of clubs is very wide. In kildare town it runs from early 20's to 70's and it's a very enjoyable learning experience.

mojesius

pgj2015 wrote: »

what happened the time you had a bad experience?

I joined the company in an entry-level sales role for mid-market clients. After two months on the job, I'd to travel to London to present/pitch our products and features to a room of clients. Everyone on my team had to travel to host one of these events at the time.

Obviously, most of these clients knew far more about the products than I did as most had been working with them in some capacity for much longer than me- no matter how much I'd prepared, they'd be savvier, so I learned as much as I could and hoped I could 'wing it'.

5 minutes before I was due to go onstage, I was told that several sales directors had decided to sit in and listen to my session and this set me panicking. I got through my prepared stuff, but the questions raised were far too advanced for me. Thankfully, a more senior colleague who was hosting a later session was able to jump in and answer when I drew a blank.

But I felt so vulnerable, embarrassed and out of my depth and could feel the eyes in the room on me more and more as the thing went on.

Afterwards, nothing negative or positive was said but it did the damage to my self esteem. In hindsight, my team leads were dicks to throw us to the wolves like that (I wasn't the only new person who felt this way). I'd never expect anyone on my team now to have to do that so quickly into the role, especially with the potential revenue at stake.

mr_fegelien

pgj2015 wrote: »

yes, if someone asked me to be their best man id refuse. i used to halve a vodka or two before most of my college presentations and they went well.

benzos are a bit better than alcohol.

pgj2015

mr_fegelien wrote: »

benzos are a bit better than alcohol.

or a nice relaxing smoke of crack.:)