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Child Item

I don't like scones.

super_furry

There, I’ve said it and you know what? It feels good.

The truth, the real truth that people are trying to keep from you – scones are crap. They’re not sweet enough to be cake, they’re too dense to be bread, there’s a faint but unmissable taste of baking soda at the back and to actually eat one, you need to cover it in jam, cream and all others kinds of crap to mask the fact that you're actually eating a scone.

Stop lying to yourselves people. Scones are shíte.

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ToddyDoody

Candie wrote: »

My granny makes sweet scones with fruit and they are gorgeous. Unsalted butter, homemade strawberry jam, heavy whipped cream and afterwards you're left with your eyes rolling back in your head, drooling in ecstasy. She also makes a gorgeous fruit cake that has to count for 19 of your 5 a day and a cottage pie that can't be bettered.

I have the best granny.

No no, post a pun.

super_furry

ToddyDoody wrote: »

No no, post a pun bun.

Fixed that.

Ishmael

alchemist33 wrote: »

No need for jam or butter on a scone. My wife makes delicious ones with white chocolate chips and raspberries. Fresh out of the oven, these are absolute heaven.

[Deleted User]

ToddyDoody wrote: »

No no, post a pun.

Will a silly joke do?

How did the bad baker poison his budgies? He killed two birds with one scone.

BDI

The scone that the builder refuse,
Will always be the headcorner scone.

starlit

I love them especially when freshly baked! Ordinary and even gluten free ones are just as nice when freshly made! So tasty when adding a bit of cream and jam!

jiltloop

Why did the baker have smelly hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

*works better spoken out loud.

[Deleted User]

My local bakery burned down last night. Now the business is toast.

pawdee

Let him who is without sin cast the first scone.

pawdee

My jokes are horrendous. Sorry. I wouldn't mind but I'm scone cold sober.

Bobblehats

scone to the dogs.....crumble crumble........

AllForIt

I love them if they have sultanas, so so without.

Metroid diorteM

Yeah scones are crap.

pawdee

AllForIt wrote: »

I love them if they have sultanas, so so without.

The currant trend is for fruit ones. Am I a scone in thinking that?

BDI

I tried to buy a scone in Britain but couldn’t change my currant C.

pawdee

Ok. I'm knocking this on the head. Heading out for a muffin. Bye for now. Scone call us we'll call you.

Vegeta

sugarman wrote: »

Or Brack, love a good Halloween Brack.

Now we're talkin, slice of brack done for a few seconds in the toaster and then smothered in real butter. Oh jaysus, I can hear my heart slowing just thinking about a slice

pawdee

You can get some at the Brack Obama Plaza.........

Ok, I'm gone this time.

Mam of 4

Here today , scone tomorrow ...

Well , they definitely don't last long here , freshly baked , still warm , indulgence with butter and jam and a mug of coffee...

Overheal

Trigger Happy wrote: »

American scones are truly sh1t. They give them out in KFC with your fried chicken...serve them with roast dinners etc.

You mean a fcuking Biscuit? :mad:

That's not a poxy scone. It's a BISCUIT. You can tell the difference from the lack of fruit or sugar and the fact that is essentially just flour water and heaps of butter and some salt. You know, a B I S C U I T. And not one of those fake british 'biscuits' either: you shove focking sausage, bacon, ham, smoked pork, jam if you want, more butter, etc. in between your biscuit halves to make a BISCUIT - but its like a "Sausage and Egg Biscuit" at that point, or a Chik Fil A Biscuit. Would you pour sausage gravy on top of a british biscuit? LIKE FCUK YOU WOULD. You don't slather gravy on a scone either my friend

A scone is denser than a biscuit, uses far less butter, and almost certainly has berries in it and is coated most often in granulated sugar. How do you mess that up with a biscuit? Utter madness. The shame of you.

Yamanoto

The foodstuff of ponces

Church on Tuesday

It's OK, I don't like Brussels Sprouts.

r93kaey5p2izun

Scones can be lovely, but it's rare to get a good one. The majority are crap. The best ones are freshly baked and small, whereas most available in shops are going for quantity over quality and are big stale monstrosities. The best scones I've ever had were fresh out of the oven in Causey Farm. The old Science canteen in UCD used to do a good scone around 20 years ago too. They're not something I'd ever buy nowadays as they're inevitably disappointing.

PhilOssophy

Sticks and scones may break my bones...

Rubberchikken

I hate scones too.

They make me tired

kerryjack

alchemist33 wrote: »

No need for jam or butter on a scone. My wife makes delicious ones with white chocolate chips and raspberries. Fresh out of the oven, these are absolute heaven.

She's a keeper or she could be trying to kill you. Fatten you to death.

Lesalare

Trigger Happy wrote: »

American scones are truly sh1t. They give them out in KFC with your fried chicken...serve them with roast dinners etc.

They're called biscuits in the US. They use them to soak up gravy etc...

Ooops, sorry I just scrolled up and saw Overheal has informed you already of your error. :P

[Deleted User]

Overheal wrote: »

You mean a fcuking Biscuit? :mad:

That's not a poxy scone. It's a BISCUIT. You can tell the difference from the lack of fruit or sugar and the fact that is essentially just flour water and heaps of butter and some salt. You know, a B I S C U I T. And not one of those fake british 'biscuits' either: you shove focking sausage, bacon, ham, smoked pork, jam if you want, more butter, etc. in between your biscuit halves to make a BISCUIT - but its like a "Sausage and Egg Biscuit" at that point, or a Chik Fil A Biscuit. Would you pour sausage gravy on top of a british biscuit? LIKE FCUK YOU WOULD. You don't slather gravy on a scone either my friend

A scone is denser than a biscuit, uses far less butter, and almost certainly has berries in it and is coated most often in granulated sugar. How do you mess that up with a biscuit? Utter madness. The shame of you.

What fresh hell is this?

You do not put sugar in scones. That's some kind of strange Britishism.

Flour, butter, buttermilk, fridge milk, and the tiniest bit of salt. Currants are always optional. That is how traditional Irish scones are made. Where are you going with your sugar? I can think of nothing more disgusting that sweet scones. Nothing.

barneygumble99

Scones from Avoca are savage. Hape a cream and jam. Yum. My local cafe sometimes does lemon and poppyseed scones. Unreal!!!

Lesalare

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

What fresh hell is this?

You do not put sugar in scones. That's some kind of strange Britishism.

Flour, butter, buttermilk, fridge milk, and the tiniest bit of salt. Currants are always optional. That is how traditional Irish scones are made. Where are you going with your sugar? I can think of nothing more disgusting that sweet scones. Nothing.

I think he/she is getting their scones and rock buns mixed up. Clearly not as proficient in the scone area as much as they are with biscuits.