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Child Item

Am I being unreasonable

generalmental

Have a bit of an issue at the moment.

Live in rural-ish Ireland with the wife and kids.
I am heading off for a few days away, I will have the only car in the family with me. My wife is learning to drive, is OK with the driving but not really experienced enough at the moment.

She will have to use public transport to get the kids to school which really is a pain with lots of waiting around. She seems to think that I should leave her with the car so she can get the kids to school, I am flat out refusing and have told her that she isn't ready to drive the car on her own with the kids in it,let alone the fact she only has a provisional licence.

This has actually caused world war 3 and I am being told that I'm a selfish B and I am leaving my kids in the lurch. I wouldn't mind but before I booked this trip I told her that she would have to get the public transport and I said I wouldn't go if she thought it would be a problem but told me to book it because she assumed I would leave her the car.

Any thoughts.

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SusanC10

It's illegal for your wife to drive unaccompanied. End of.

Personally, I think that your wife does not want you to go on this trip for whatever reason and that is the real reason behind the row. Just my opinion though.

weetiepie

I think because its your responsibility to bring your children to school, you should be the one sorting out how they get to school in your absence. This has nothing to do with your wife. You are the one taking away their mode of transport in getting to and from school, therefore you should be the one organising how the get to /from.

Whether that be taxis, as has been suggested or asking family or friends to pick up or drop off.

I love how some have suggested that your wife just doesnt want you to go on your planned trip, it's laughable.

lunamoon

weetiepie wrote: »

I think because its your responsibility to bring your children to school, you should be the one sorting out how they get to school in your absence. This has nothing to do with your wife. You are the one taking away their mode of transport in getting to and from school, therefore you should be the one organising how the get to /from.

Whether that be taxis, as has been suggested or asking family or friends to pick up or drop off.

I love how some have suggested that your wife just doesnt want you to go on your planned trip, it's laughable.

Agree with this.

Since you usually bring them it's up to you to arrange for them to be dropped off and collected.

Seth Brundle

lunamoon wrote: »

Agree with this.

Since you usually bring them it's up to you to arrange for them to be dropped off and collected.

Surely as a couple they need to discuss it but it doesn't give the wife the automatic right to break the law

dvdman1

If the vehicle registration certificate is in your name and she drives unaccompanied..its also you that will be fined allowing her to drive your car, fine for u is up to 2k

Get a family member or friend to drop them..its only 3 days, let the kids off school for 1 day and its only 2 days to cover.

lunamoon

Seth Brundle wrote: »

Surely as a couple they need to discuss it but it doesn't give the wife the automatic right to break the law

They have the discussed it. The wife said she'd get taxi's which I think is fair enough. I get the impression it's the Dad that wants her to take public transport.

Ursus Horribilis

She has probably got so used to being ferried around all her life, she has developed a princess complex. You're doing well to have her even bothering to learn how to drive at this stage. You're not being unreasonable and maybe deep down even she knows it too.

generalmental

Hi
Thanks to everyone who posted on the thread.

Matter is resolved now so if the mods want they can close this thread

rainbowtrout

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

She has probably got so used to being ferried around all her life, she has developed a princess complex. You're doing well to have her even bothering to learn how to drive at this stage. You're not being unreasonable and maybe deep down even she knows it too.

I feel sorry for the wife reading all the comments here. But this is the most ridiculous one. The wife could have just as easily grown up in a city, lived close to public transport links and never needed to drive up to know, but you have decided she has a princess complex because she's learning to drive now???

The reality of the situation is that 20 years ago, you just went into the county council office handed in the forms for a provisional and off you went. Then the theory test came in and every few years there would be a furore in the media as the government announced a clampdown on unaccompanied learner drivers.

Things have changed somewhat but you can bet that there are hundreds if not thousands of learner drivers driving around this country on a daily basis unaccompanied as they know the chances of getting caught are miniscule. The OPs wife probably just assumed she would be able to drive as well and didn't see it as a big deal, and also saw it as a necessity for getting the kids to school.

AulWan

More than 1600 cars have seized from unaccompanied learner drivers since the Clancy law was brought in last December.

Is she prepared to risk losing the family car completely for the sake of 3 days?

Ursus Horribilis

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I feel sorry for the wife reading all the comments here. But this is the most ridiculous one. The wife could have just as easily grown up in a city, lived close to public transport links and never needed to drive up to know, but you have decided she has a princess complex because she's learning to drive now???

Unless they lived in a city until a few months ago, there is no excuse for people not bothering to learn how to drive. I am from the countryside and know how important knowing how to drive is. I also know what a pain in the backside it is to have to ferry around grown adults who can't be bothered to learn. They exist. Anyway, I am not going to engage any further with this because it will turn into a back and forth. You have your opinion. I hold my "ridiculous" opinion and will not change my mind. Have a nice day.

generalmental

rainbowtrout wrote: »

I feel sorry for the wife reading all the comments here. But this is the most ridiculous one. The wife could have just as easily grown up in a city, lived close to public transport links and never needed to drive up to know, but you have decided she has a princess complex because she's learning to drive now???

The reality of the situation is that 20 years ago, you just went into the county council office handed in the forms for a provisional and off you went. Then the theory test came in and every few years there would be a furore in the media as the government announced a clampdown on unaccompanied learner drivers.

Things have changed somewhat but you can bet that there are hundreds if not thousands of learner drivers driving around this country on a daily basis unaccompanied as they know the chances of getting caught are miniscule. The OPs wife probably just assumed she would be able to drive as well and didn't see it as a big deal, and also saw it as a necessity for getting the kids to school.

Most of this is on point. She does not have a princess complex, she just seems to think that she is ready to take control of the car on her own and I'm sorry to say she isn't.

I don't think she realises that the people in the car, wife and kids are the most precious people I have in my life and if anything happened to them because of her lack of experience I don't know what I would do. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Bob Harris

generalmental wrote: »

Hi
Thanks to everyone who posted on the thread.

Matter is resolved now so if the mods want they can close this thread

What did you agree to do?

FishOnABike

If transport for the three days wasn't discussed and agreed before you booked your trip it was an oversight on both your parts - you assuming your wife would sort something out for transport and your wife assuming she could drive the family car unaccompanied on a learner permit.

If she agreed up front to use public transport thinking she could say one thing and then do another I don't see what she has to complain about.

woodchuck

Mod note:

Thread closed as per the OPs request.