Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

B.A._Baracus · 01-10-2019 01:43PM

Your gender determines everything on dating websites and apps.
Have a vagina? well expect your inbox to be hopping from all the guys messaging you. Your looks don't matter. Your weight does not matter. As long as you have that vagina.
Have a cock? get used to seeing tumleweeds in your inbox :pac:

S.G.M. · 01-10-2019 02:18PM

PoisonIvyBelle wrote:

usually respond if even just to say I'm not interested.

I really appreciate when a woman does this. It just gives ya a definitive answer cos I've messaged a few times in the past in case my first message was missed or didn't land. I do know a lot of guys get offended and come out with 'ur not tht hot anyway' etc so I don't blame women for ignoring us. Frankly, how we get any replies is a miracle.
I actually have gotten 'sorry I didn't see your messages' quite a bit and we just take it from there, I've also gotten silence which the women probably think I'm a clown etc with my 'ok plan C' messages lol
I never take these sites seriously unless ya get chatting to a woman that excites me.
As a guy anyway, you have to be able to laugh at yourself on them or you're better off to stay clear.

chrissb8 · 01-10-2019 02:28PM

Met my other half through it and I have nothing but good things to say about Tinder at least. The main thing that used to be tiring and boring was the effort you would put into a conversation only to get just the answer and no question back or interest in you from the other side.

Draining stuff, and a whiff of entitlement that it's upto one person to keep and get the conversation going all the time. Like they're waiting for you to pull out some amazing one liner or witty repose in relation to their profile. That is replete with obscure one liner quote that makes them look edgy. They were generally the most boring.

Then there were some great matches who were brilliant people, some ending in dates that unfortunately didn't go anywhere after but eventually one of them went on to another, then another.....and now I have a wonderful Girlfriend who I would have never met without tinder.

Just be clear from the outset with what you want and engage someone who isn't boring and can actually hold a conversation and you're golden. Also calm down on the judgement of people on profile pics with 500 filters. There's much more to a person than looks and that gets so lost on those dating apps. The instant attraction you have with someone in real life is generally rooted in how your personalities click in that moment, that takes time to get across in the digital world.

So don't give up on it as there is someone on another phone somewhere looking for what you're looking for.

Thelonious Monk · 01-10-2019 02:36PM

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Your gender determines everything on dating websites and apps.
Have a vagina? well expect your inbox to be hopping from all the guys messaging you. Your looks don't matter. Your weight does not matter. As long as you have that vagina.
Have a cock? get used to seeing tumleweeds in your inbox :pac:

That's bollocks. I honestly wasn't able to keep up with all the messages on Bumble and Tinder sometimes so I'd have to stop swiping. It's you, not the women!

Feisar · 01-10-2019 02:41PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

That's bollocks. I honestly wasn't able to keep up with all the messages on Bumble and Tinder sometimes so I'd have to stop swiping. It's you, not the women!

Thelonious Monk · 01-10-2019 02:44PM

Well I mean so many men you see in relationship issues here saying they can't get a date or a girl they met on tinder doesn't want to see them any more.
They also live at home are between jobs suffer from OCD and depression have a kid with a woman who hates them etc...
If you have your sh*t together and look after yourself it's just as rewarding for men as it is for women.
Oh and know your audience, you should be able to gauge your level of attractiveness and what you should be looking for in return, instead of getting frustrated and bitchy if some super hot girl doesn't respond to your message.

JustJoe7240 · 01-10-2019 02:46PM

PoisonIvyBelle wrote: »

Ah look, they are what you make of them. I have some great experiences, not so great experience, and also relationships come from them over the years. IMO Tinder ruined the whole thing by making it more of a "game". It's a double edged sword because it made online dating less taboo but then you got a bunch of people joining just for the craic with no intention of actually trying to meet someone.

I have an account at the mo. I'll check it now and then. If someone takes the time to send me a message that goes beyond "hi hw ru?", has a photo up, and has actually made an effort to fill in a profile, I'll usually respond if even just to say I'm not interested. Unfortunately, even in that case I've had to block men who just turn nasty right away and inform me I'm only a stuck up b1tch anyway.

If someone messages me with a 5 word message and a blank profile, I won't reply. If they send me the same ****ing message 3 times over the space of 2 weeks, I'll block them.

If I'm interested in someone, I've no qualms about messaging him first.

I talk to one person at a time usually. I've no interest in dating as a hobby and I don't go on 2-3 dates every week. I could, given the messages I get, but that would be dating people I have no interest in just for the sake of dating. Why would I waste someone's time like that? To be clear, I'm an average enough looking early 30s female. Maybe a little alternative in my lifestyle and look but that's the height of anything setting me apart. I'm just not your stereotypical "i luv drinks wit me mates at the weekends" type. So if I don't get conversation out of someone early on that indicates they have a brain that isn't in their pants, I move on. I'm quite content with my life. I'd like to meet someone but I'm not going to settle just for the sake of being in a relationship. I've never been like that.

I'll only meet somone if I've a fair idea that we'll click. Years ago, I got that wrong a few times! In recent years, most "first dates" have turned into relationships so it looks like I'm getting it right (well, aside from the breaking up part! ).

I wish people would stop ****ting in dating apps. They work but not for everyone. If it's not working for you, try something else. The world is a big place once you get out from behind the computer screen.

Why do people swipe right if they’re just going to tell the other person they’re not interested? Speaking from a male perspective but know of guys who do the same!

Surely if you’re not interested from the offest you’d just swipe left from the get go?

nthclare · 01-10-2019 02:47PM

I was on this thread yesterday and ressurected my old POF profile....

Same old story, it reminded of a photo album of Ireland's most wanted....

The same narcissistic cluster b people who were there the last time.
So I decided to mail the usual psychopath she's from Loughreagh Co Galway
She always starts off nice, then by message 6 she's asking will I bring her out for cocktails.
I message her back sure you know that I don't drink anyhow we decided that we're only going to meet for coffee because it was established that we're looking for something different, what's the point in me buying you cocktails all evening while I'm having a few coffee's...

Then the drama kicks off, what kind of man are you ?
I'm old school...yada yada yada
The last man I met came here 3 time's and bought me cocktails all night.

I'm 44 she's 51
An absolute classy bird, reminds me of Patsy Stone on absolutely fabulous...

No doubt she'll be back again with the good old, my my my aren't you a tall dark and handsome....

She's always pissed I'd say...

bless

Thelonious Monk · 01-10-2019 02:48PM

So why are you talking to her at all?

S.G.M. · 01-10-2019 02:48PM

Thelonious Monk wrote:

That's bollocks. I honestly wasn't able to keep up with all the messages on Bumble and Tinder sometimes so I'd have to stop swiping. It's you, not the women!

Were you situated in a city or a more rural area?

Thelonious Monk · 01-10-2019 02:49PM

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

Why do people swipe right if they’re just going to tell the other person they’re not interested? Speaking from a male perspective but know of guys who do the same!

Surely if you’re not interested from the offest you’d just swipe left from the get go?

Sometimes I would swipe without thinking about it too much and then if they message you you look at more pictures and shudder and realise it was a mistake and don't reply and delete them.

Thelonious Monk · 01-10-2019 02:49PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

Were you situated in a city or a more rural area?

Dublin city baby

S.G.M. · 01-10-2019 02:51PM

JustJoe7240 wrote:

Why do people swipe right if theyâ€™re just going to tell the other person theyâ€™re not interested? Speaking from a male perspective but know of guys who do the same!

I think she means sites like Plenty of Fish where any guy can message her.

S.G.M. · 01-10-2019 02:52PM

Thelonious Monk wrote:

Dublin city baby

Ah ok. Id love to try a big city sometime. Would be nice not knowing every woman around my age in 30km radius.

JustJoe7240 · 01-10-2019 02:52PM

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I merely wanted an explanation, I hadn't done anything to her, she was the one who wanted to keep in touch and I confronted her, I was being treated unfairly and I wasn't going to let it go that easy.

I was being the nice guy at the end of it, she instigated my reaction.

And I hate that saying "whatever's meant for you won't pass you" ugh...

I have relatives still single in their 50s and 60's, the thought of that for me makes me want to puke really.

Jesus! It’s lads like you that make the idea of having a daughter a terrifying prospect!

“I wanted an explanation”
“I wasn’t going to let it go that easy”

Get a grip man

Bigbagofcans · 01-10-2019 02:57PM

chrissb8 wrote: »

Also calm down on the judgement of people on profile pics with 500 filters. There's much more to a person than looks and that gets so lost on those dating apps.

Some are using filters to do the point of looking like a completely different person. That's borderline catfishing.

the beer revolu · 01-10-2019 02:57PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

So why are you talking to her at all?

Research for this thread, obviously.

zapper55 · 01-10-2019 03:07PM

The amount of times I'd get a message from a guy, think he's attractive then read his profile only to have my heart sink because he's written something bitchy or passive aggressive about women or dating apps.

There seems to be an idea on here that every woman is looking for some sort of Greek God, completely oblivious that there's something on their profile that puts women off.

Funnily enough the very attractive men usually has shirtless selfies or be hugging their fancy car which guaranteed I'd never respond to them.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 01-10-2019 03:21PM

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Its very difficult to find someone who shares your vision of the future on there.

You are absolutely hilarious. Aren't you a medium? Can't you just wander off into the void and see the future?

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I merely wanted an explanation, I hadn't done anything to her, she was the one who wanted to keep in touch and I confronted her, I was being treated unfairly and I wasn't going to let it go that easy.

I was being the nice guy at the end of it, she instigated my reaction.

Nobody owes you an explanation, and you blame her for losing your temper? Wow...

zcorpian88 wrote: »

she friendzoned me after the second date, which I thought was a bit unfair, didn't really keep in touch with her.

Unfair? That's some real incel shít right there. What would have been a "fair" outcome in your opinion?

r/niceguys

nthclare · 01-10-2019 03:24PM

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

So why are you talking to her at all?

Just some research on behalf of the thread.
A lot of these male and female loons are off their Chuck.

It's just as people are saying here about POF
full of misfits mixed in with the odd reasonable sane person.

Ruraldweller56 · 01-10-2019 03:26PM

This is funny

nthclare · 01-10-2019 03:30PM

zapper55 wrote: »

The amount of times I'd get a message from a guy, think he's attractive then read his profile only to have my heart sink because he's written something bitchy or passive aggressive about women or dating apps.

There seems to be an idea on here that every woman is looking for some sort of Greek God, completely oblivious that there's something on their profile that puts women off.

Funnily enough the very attractive men usually has shirtless selfies or be hugging their fancy car which guaranteed I'd never respond to them.

Will you check out my profile, give me a few pointers if I'm going wrong

Jimmy Bottlehead · 01-10-2019 04:26PM

I had a great time while I was on them, several relationships along with a couple heart breaks.

Met my girlfriend on it back in January after three dates with another girl. Knew straight away that the spark was there and it's been fantastic.

Also had the pleasure to meet many wonderful women, and a couple of absolutely amazing, talented, intelligent and beautiful women with whom any man would be lucky to be with but who just weren't right for me.

I'm a relatively tall, built handsome chap who's intelligent, witty, and many other good attributes so I had a very good experience, but it startles me to read how bitter and misguided some of the lads are on there.

If women as a whole aren't into you, they aren't the problem. YOU are, so do some introspection /work on yourself / therapy and sort your self out.

Sottol · 01-10-2019 04:33PM

As I started to read through the thread I was tempted to reactivate my tinder account. Now I’m at the end I feel it would definitely be a bad idea!
From a female perspective I would say I found it tough for a guy to suggest or agree to meeting. I didn’t want to chat endlessly on some app running out of things to talk about. Interesting that the guys here say they found it tough to get a woman to meet with them. Perhaps 99% of people on it just like the ego boost or having the chats.

S.G.M. · 01-10-2019 04:34PM

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote:

I'm a relatively tall, built handsome chap who's intelligent, witty, and many other good attributes so I had a very good experience, but it startles me to read how bitter and misguided some of the lads are on there.

You sound like great craic.

ArchXStanton · 01-10-2019 04:37PM

Sottol wrote: »

As I started to read through the thread I was tempted to reactivate my tinder account. Now I’m at the end I feel it would definitely be a bad idea!
From a female perspective I would say I found it tough for a guy to suggest or agree to meeting. I didn’t want to chat endlessly on some app running out of things to talk about. Interesting that the guys here say they found it tough to get a woman to meet with them. Perhaps 99% of people on it just like the ego boost or having the chats.

Was only reading this yesterday, interesting read

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201909/tinder-dating-can-you-find-love-or-just-lust

Dial Hard · 01-10-2019 04:38PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

You sound like great craic.

What is it with people on AH and their absolute bitterness towards anyone who's happy with their looks/life/personality and confident enough to admit it? It's bizarre.

Jimmy Bottlehead · 01-10-2019 04:39PM

S.G.M. wrote: »

You sound like great craic.

I sound like someone with a lot of dating experience. But don't let that cloud your judgement.

Dial Hard wrote: »

What is it with people on AH and their absolute bitterness towards anyone who's happy with their looks/life/personality and confident enough to admit it? It's bizarre.

I know right?

Self loathing, lack of self esteem and a lack of awareness or lack of desire to tackle it. Much easier to externalise the loathing than examine the self.

Homelander · 01-10-2019 04:41PM

I'm a remarkably average looking guy with a serious dad bod and I have no trouble talking to, and meeting with, women from Tinder or POF. It's where I've meet all of my last few exes (definitely all better looking than me). It's really not that hard once you put in some proper, genuine effort. Anyone who claims they can't get anywhere....unless you're horrifically disfigured, the problem is definitely you, or how you're putting yourself out there.

Loafing Oaf · 01-10-2019 04:42PM

Sottol wrote: »

Interesting that the guys here say they found it tough to get a woman to meet with them.

Well they used to say lonely hearts ads were a good place to meet a serial killer...

Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

Comments