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Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

MrFaul

I've been on and off dating apps the past few years and pretty much sick of them at this stage. One reason is the amount of chatting for a meagre return and another is that the majority on dating apps are in Dublin (naturally as it's the most densley populated part of the country), and I'm ages away from 'Dooublan'.

There's only every about five 'wans' online at anyone time in my area, so not much to choose from ha. What are your thoughts or dating apps or what what's been your experience with them? Positive? Negative? A mxied bag?

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BorneTobyWilde

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I suppose I'm pretty good looking and tall and in good shape and have no baggage and my own house etc etc, and being 39 women in their mid 30s tend to see me as a decent prospect! So it was always easy for me to go on dates whenever I wanted, although I could only handle being on the apps for a couple of months at a time. I spent a few years doing that but never really met anyone I liked enough until not too long long so I would think it was worth it in the end. It's good if it works for you but I can imagine it can be pretty tough for those without thick skin.

Thelonious Monk

I suppose I'm pretty good looking and tall and in good shape and have no baggage and my own house etc etc, and being 39 women in their mid 30s tend to see me as a decent prospect! So it was always easy for me to go on dates whenever I wanted, although I could only handle being on the apps for a couple of months at a time. I spent a few years doing that but never really met anyone I liked enough until not too long long so I would think it was worth it in the end. It's good if it works for you but I can imagine it can be pretty tough for those without thick skin.

voldejoie

I've been sick of the dating apps for years, but it's very hard to meet people without them.

I'm a lesbian and the pool is very, very small to begin with. Every time I get fed up with the apps and delete them, I realise they really are the option in terms of meeting people, the best of a bad lot

Ubbquittious

AlphabetCards wrote: »

Again, why are you letting these conversations go on like that? You are literally putting yourself at the mercy of others. Few messages, suggest a pint, and wait for a response. If they aren't interested, then why bother? At least demonstrate some value and ignore him/her if all they want to do is interrogate you. If they fancied you they would jump at the chance to go for a drink.

I don't go down that road with them anymore. What happens usually is I exchange a few nice messages with them and then they fcuk off or else they start stalling the ball and making excuses when the time to go on a date rolls around. I don't experience any of this nonsense with the ones I meet in real life the only reason I still go on the apps is to have my name in the hat I suppose

gwalk

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Yup....i even chatted to some people ....im very very strange

At least you admit it, plenty dont

IAMAMORON

Unless you are really attractive and have no problem meeting with multiple partners they are fairly useless, especially if you are heterosexually active. I mention this because the cruising apps have appeared to be a lot more successful with gay men in particular.

If you are a hetero sexual male who does not look like a boy band star they are completely useless, women will not select you without a picture and if you get cute trying to look cute you wont make it past the dinner table. Sad but true.

That is not to say that picking up sexual partners is any more easier without them, but it can become less systematic and cold. For example if you frequent the same bars or clubs etc it gives potential partners the added advantage of getting to know you over time, this helps a lot. Dating by nature can be a difficult exercise, what to do, where to go, what to say ,what not to say, they are a minefield.

It can be a lot easier forming a connection with a partner who you might see 3 or 4 times a month, at a similar venue or event, it allows to develop chemistries and invigorates things, like crushing or fancying someone, much more exciting.

ILoveYourVibes

Oasis1974 wrote: »

Would you agree there is a good chance there ugly simply because they need to use a dating app?

No...there are some curiosities ...as to why some people use them. Maybe its just tough to find a special someone in this day and age.

ILoveYourVibes

gwalk wrote: »

Strange behaviour making fake internet profiles

Yup....i even chatted to some people ....im very very strange

gwalk

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Its true ....i made a male profile to see what the women were like ..they were ALL like that. SO not me

Strange behaviour making fake internet profiles

completedit

Tinder takes the romance out of dating but you can find some good ones on there. Problem is that it’s so hard for a guy. Everything is stacked against you; women’s preferences, the algorith, you can’t look too much like a **** boy but you can’t look too square either, finding the right pictures are impossible. Because girls don’t just look at the guys looks, they look at what kinda lifestyle a life with the guy may entail.

Oasis1974

Would you agree there is a good chance there ugly simply because they need to use a dating app?

NewMan1982

Blaire Tangy Saddle wrote: »

I wouldn't be into developing something online because you don't really know them, so it's largely imaginary. Might be no chemistry in person. I did keep chatting for a good while to some people who were not local, but that was just that I enjoyed chatting to them. If I liked someone nearby I just met them for a coffee or a drink as soon as convenient. Keep everything easygoing, no buildup or pressure. Don't remember any job interviews. Mainly positive experiences.

I don’t mean text endlessly either. I wouldn’t be into meeting someone online without a week of texting to build up a rapport.

I have come across some ladies who want to date almost immediately and I’ve felt that we hadn’t even got a rapport yet. Like literally 5 texts in. I see turning up on a date in that situation as a risk. I’m not into wasting my time like that.

The most recent example I said it to her that she was coming across as a serial dater and she denied it. Turns out I would have been her third date that week.

s7ryf3925pivug

NewMan1982 wrote: »

You need to watch out for the ones who want to go on a date within the first few messages.
They generally have several dates a week and the date feels more like a job interview.

I wouldn't be into developing something online because you don't really know them, so it's largely imaginary. Might be no chemistry in person. I did keep chatting for a good while to some people who were not local, but that was just because I enjoyed chatting to them. If I liked someone nearby I just met them for a coffee or a drink as soon as convenient. Keep everything easygoing, no buildup or pressure. Don't remember any job interviews. Mainly positive experiences.

ILoveYourVibes

cjmc wrote: »

Aaw, that's just ruined my impression of you based on your name .

lord no ....hot yoga artsy chick

Oasis1974

But if she's pig ugly would you be bothered lads?

Earthhorse

Raconteuse wrote: »

There are other types of women besides the Love Island clones so stop going for them!

Nothing less appealing, tbh.

I find there are a lot of fake profiles these days, way more than before, and they definitely change your view of what an a average woman should look like even though you know they’re fake. It’s an interesting but frustrating phenomenon.

NewMan1982

Blaire Tangy Saddle wrote: »

I found myself inundated with people wanting to date me. Very dateable people too. I wasn't in Dublin though a good portion of the women who contacted me were. Basically you need one nice photo and the ability to present yourself as a normal person. I'm not really really good looking or anything like that.

You need to watch out for the ones who want to go on a date within the first few messages.
They generally have several dates a week and the date feels more like a job interview.

Earthhorse

BDI wrote: »

Just because you have a keyboard and a witty subject line doesn’t mean some model is going to fall for your charms. She still has to be seen in public with you.

Not true. I have no intention of leaving the house once hitched.

s7ryf3925pivug

I found myself inundated with people wanting to date me. Very dateable people too. I wasn't in Dublin though a good portion of the women who contacted me were. Basically you need one nice photo and the ability to present yourself as a normal person. I'm not really really good looking or anything like that.

cj maxx

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Its true ....i made a male profile to see what the women were like ..they were ALL like that. SO not me

Aaw, that's just ruined my impression of you based on your name .

ILoveYourVibes

Raconteuse wrote: »

There are other types of women besides the Love Island clones so stop going for them!

Its true ....i made a male profile to see what the women were like ..they were ALL like that. SO not me

Church on Tuesday

hank scorpio89 wrote: »

Only signed up for tinder today and you now have to pay too see who likes you ..yeah good luck with that .deleted it already

Yup pretty mental TBH.

I'm on dating apps but it's really not for me, much better (and fun) to chat to someone you fancy in real life.

Raconteuse

There are other types of women besides the Love Island clones so stop going for them!

the beer revolu

MrFaul wrote: »

Ye if there's something that I've found disappointing about Ireland is the women. I often find Irish women to be egotisical, have a bad attitude and sometimes act more like men. Besides that, I find them to be generic: make up, hi heels, bubble gum talk... Now you've got feminist b.s. around.

Of course not all the women here are all like that, of course not, just a good portion of them
haha. The ones who are different, more individualistic are hardered to come across. For example when do you ever comes across an Irish female whose ladylike or elegant? It's very rare I tell you haha

Arsehole women behave like men = men are arseholes.

I'd say you're some catch.

MrFaul

mikhail wrote: »

I've generally had more success in other countries. I don't know if that's because I'm foreign there (which adds a little air of exoticism), or if Irish women are bloody impossible, but I have my suspicions.

Ye if there's something that I've found disappointing about Ireland is the women. I often find Irish women to be egotisical, have a bad attitude and sometimes act more like men. Besides that, I find them to be generic: make up, hi heels, bubble gum talk... Now you've got feminist b.s. around.

Of course not all the women here are all like that, of course not, just a good portion of them
haha. The ones who are different, more individualistic are hardered to come across. For example when do you ever comes across an Irish female whose ladylike or elegant? It's very rare I tell you haha

AlphabetCards

cjmc wrote: »

I have never used them . But the people I know that are / were on them are the vanest people I know. That's just them so don't take to heart anyone

Aye, tons of them. The obvious give away is that every photo of them is a selfie. It's generally a good sign if most of the photos are taken by others.*

*=caveat: if these photos are those awful, awful yoga poses against a scene, or someone rubbing an opiate-addicted tiger in SE Asia, then they are worse than the vain types.

cj maxx

I have never used them . But the people I know that are / were on them are the vanest people I know. That's just them so don't take to heart anyone

AlphabetCards

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I find it way harder to keep a conversation alive on those apps than in real life or even get a response. Even if you do get a good conversation you're subjected to a lengthy vetting process where you convince them you're not a serial killer before you go on a date.

Again, why are you letting these conversations go on like that? You are literally putting yourself at the mercy of others. Few messages, suggest a pint, and wait for a response. If they aren't interested, then why bother? At least demonstrate some value and ignore him/her if all they want to do is interrogate you. If they fancied you they would jump at the chance to go for a drink.

Professor Genius

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Oh ..? Thank you.

Get a room folks.

AlphabetCards

ChikiChiki wrote: »

Its very hard tp get someone to agree to go out at times. Certainly finding them a lot more difficult here than when I was in Oz.

Honestly, the thought of having to compel someone to go on a date is awful. Here's an idea - value your time. If someone says no, or doesn't commit to meeting you right away, they are no interested and are wasting your time. Move on to the next one.