FFred wrote: » Thread is on a slippery slope. Non-parents lecturing and patronising parents on how they should approach their children’s future sex lives. I’m out.
jam_mac_jam wrote: » Yeah that's exactly what I said about my son. I am not going to a argue a strawman. If you don't see how the consequences of having babies is worse for women then I am not going to explain to you.
FFred wrote: » Huh? Before I respond, please humour me, how old are your children?
FFred wrote: » Thread is on a slippery slope.Non-parents lecturing and patronising parents on how they should approach their children’s future sex lives. I’m out.
Gimme A Pound wrote: » Well I certainly wouldn't be super permissive towards teenage children in relation to sex (particularly when under the age of consent) but at the same time, if you've a sexual history like Ron Jeremy, then you'd surely understand that your teenage children may have or want a sex life. I don't think you're literally a prude in this regard but imo the more beneficial approach would be an emphasis on safe sex, don't do it just to be cool, respect yourself etc rather than a ban (if that's what you meant).
volchitsa wrote: » I've just become a grandmother. You?
volchitsa wrote: » You seem to have made that assumption about me, but you're wrong, I have three. Any chance you could lose the unwarranted assumptions and the dismissive tone now please?
FFred wrote: » Nope, I knew you had children. You assumed I was referring to you? Dismissive? Me? I’m not even going to address that point :pac:
volchitsa wrote: » I wonder what your point was in asking what ages mine were then? Anyway, now you know they're late teens and adult (youngest is 18, eldest 26) you can tell me what ages yours are, and then respond to my point that as a parent, the lives of any grandchildren are, or should be, equally important whether they're a son's or a daughter's, and that a young, unprepared father is probably at a disadvantage in our society, or at any rate his parents are going to find it much harder to be a positive presence in their grandchild's life if the relationship between the parents is not good. Basically if your daughter has an unwanted pregnancy, or is is struggling with her child/children, you can help in all sorts of ways. If your son has children with someone you don't know/don't get on with, and you feel she is failing as a mother, there's almost nothing you can do to improve the children's lives. So no, despite the predictable sneering about only women getting pregnant, I don't agree that as a parent, I should be more worried about my daughter getting pregnant in an unsuitable relationship than my son. If anything, I would probably worry more about a son. For the reasons I've given.
volchitsa wrote: » Basically if your daughter has an unwanted pregnancy, or is is struggling with her child/children, you can help in all sorts of ways. If your son has children with someone you don't know/don't get on with, and you feel she is failing as a mother, there's almost nothing you can do to improve the children's lives.
volchitsa wrote: » So no, despite the predictable sneering about only women getting pregnant, I don't agree that as a parent, I should be more worried about my daughter getting pregnant in an unsuitable relationship than my son. If anything, I would probably worry more about a son. For the reasons I've given.
volchitsa wrote: » Nowadays I think the consequences are not all that much different. Being pursued for maintenance by someone you don't love for a child you are rarely allowed to see is no laugh either I'm told. And you're ignoring the fact that any children born are your grandchildren. So I'm puzzled as to why you would seem uninterested in the fate of those children just because they were your son's and not your daughter's.
FFred wrote: » Hi, You have quoted my individual post okay, but have responded to other people’s arguments about unwanted pregnancies etc which I was never involved in. I’m confused. You and I have different approaches to sex education and exposure for our offspring and that’s cool, but please read back on my posts and don’t drag me into an argument about pregnancy and the likes, that I wasn’t involved with in the first place. I’m alright around here, you’ll find, if you stalk me.:) PS, I have one child in a similar age bracket to yours, and another four much younger
jam_mac_jam wrote: » Why would I be uninterested in any grandchildren? I think a woman's life is more effected by an unwanted pregnancy then a man. Even physically and psychologically. If they have it, if they don't have it and have an abortion. women have to worry more about getting pregnant. Its a year out of college or work and most of the burden falls on women. Even if the man supports her which I assume my son would, he doesn't loose a year of his life, his body changed forever, the risk of postnatal depression, a lot of pain. It is a huge difference. To the person having the child. I don't think for a second that has any bearing on my attitude to the child which would be the same if I had a daughter. Did I suggest otherwise or are you just jumping to conclusions.
volchitsa wrote: » FWIW, I don't think any number of small children gives any insight into teenage or adult relationships. You need to have come out the other side to really have that perspective.
FFred wrote: » And yet again you just don’t fcucking listen so I’ll put it in BOLD ..I have a daughter who is aged 23 Do you comprehend? (that means understand btw) FFS
volchitsa wrote: » You're a rude and unpleasant poster.
bfa1509 wrote: » Being hypocritical has a negative connotation close to 100% of the time. But what about a father who doesn't like his daughter going out with boys but applauds his son for seeing lots of girls. I think this is a common enough occurrence (I'm not a father, but this would definitely be my attitude if I was). Is this not acceptable? And if this offends any female (or males for that matter), do not fret, I think it's a hypocrisy that is borne out of love; as the father believes no man is good enough for his daughter but any girl is good enough for his son. Would you agree? If not, are there any acceptable forms of hypocrisy?
Theodore Proud Stranger wrote: » Just reading responses and wondering if I am too strict. I don't allow eldest son and daughter gfs/bfs stay over. I just don't feel comfortable with it, I do my best to make them feel welcome otherwise but no staying over. It's just always been a rule I have in my house (son/daughter aren't happy with it) but I know for me when I was entering early adulthood it was a motivating factor for actually wanting to get a place of your own, being able to stay with the OH and enjoy privacy etc. I don't think I'm a prude, maybe I am too strict. I'm trying to think ahead and start as I mean to go on and set rules/example for the younger kids in our family too. I don't want to become that mammy cooking, cleaning and washing for them all and their partners.
jam_mac_jam wrote: » unfortunately not. The consequences of sex can be pregnancy which is not the same for a man and a woman.
