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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

jimjangles

I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
I should probably just forget about it.

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[Deleted User]

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

It will remain forever beyond me why so many people see the need to post the same lazy nonsense about women on these threads. I was in a good mood one day and started a thread about enjoying the single life on this forum and it went the same way.

woman and men!

essentially, if you are here for actual advice you really do want to be disregarding anybody who tells you that all men/all women behave or want or do X. It's an idiotic viewpoint.

The mention over the last few pages of a woman being 'used' is a bit ....off....imo.

Have sex with a fella or don't. Let's not revert to the bad old days of sex being a bargaining chip or something one gender wants and one doesn't.

You find the right lad or you don't, whether you're getting a shag in the interim isn't the cause one way or the other 90% of the time

Bobblehats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qa2Ol6BHd8

ancapailldorcha

Deleted User wrote: »

woman and men!

essentially, if you are here for actual advice you really do want to be disregarding anybody who tells you that all men/all women behave or want or do X. It's an idiotic viewpoint.

The mention over the last few pages of a woman being 'used' is a bit ....off....imo.

Have sex with a fella or don't. Let's not revert to the bad old days of sex being a bargaining chip or something one gender wants and one doesn't.

You find the right lad or you don't, whether you're getting a shag in the interim isn't the cause one way or the other 90% of the time

To be honest, anyone spouting mass generalizations about any group that are predicated on the assumption that said group consists of hiveminds is to be ignored.

[Deleted User]

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

To be honest, anyone spouting mass generalizations about any group that are predicated on the assumption that said group consists of hiveminds is to be ignored.

except the dutch, obv

Deebles McBeebles

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

To be honest, anyone spouting mass generalizations about any group that are predicated on the assumption that said group consists of hiveminds is to be ignored.

Hey, quit spouting mass generalizations about that group!

:pac:

Feisar

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

It will remain forever beyond me why so many people see the need to post the same lazy nonsense about women on these threads. I was in a good mood one day and started a thread about enjoying the single life on this forum and it went the same way.

Ah it's not just men/women discussions. It seems After Hours has become a bitter place.

Fan of Netflix

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

To be honest, anyone spouting mass generalizations about any group that are predicated on the assumption that said group consists of hiveminds is to be ignored.

90% of the discussion on this place tbf

X group are bad because individual Y done this

[Deleted User]

Feisar wrote: »

Ah it's not just men/women discussions. It seems After Hours has become a bitter place.

All the ranting about welfare/immigrant/junkies types have gone on holiday.

facehugger99

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

To be honest, anyone spouting mass generalizations about any group that are predicated on the assumption that said group consists of hiveminds is to be ignored.

I agree - Men are always doing this.

Fan of Netflix

mariaalice wrote: »

All the ranting about welfare/immigrant/junkies types have gone on holiday.

I doubt that will last too long! I'm sure we'll see the usual threads on the audacity of someone on social welfare taking a holiday, junkies on O'Connell Street and immigrant crime

SusieBlue

Modern dating is a minefield for everyone.

I posted screenshots of some of the messages I've received on a similar thread recently, and I've only received more of the same since.
Some men seem to think its perfectly acceptable to speak to me as if I'm some sort of sexual commodity, a challenge for them to conquer.
Despite stating clearly on my various profiles that I'm not seeking a casual arrangement or any sort of sugar daddy deal on mainstream dating sites/apps (Tinder, POF etc), I'm inundated with explicit messages that aren't in the least bit respectful.

Its very disheartening that despite my best efforts online, I only seem to attract messages from messers & assh*les. I've probably missed a few messages from genuine decent lads while wading through the distraction of the not so nice ones, which is annoying.

Despite all this I know its not reflective of the behaviour or character of all men. I know most are decent genuine people, and you have to sift through the rubbish to find the treasure.

I know some will say I should be grateful that I get attention, but negative attention like that isn't good for anyone's self worth. Neither gender have it easy.

KikiLaRue

Manuel Bald Handyman wrote: »

so if he had a preference for small tits it would be grand? or if he was more of an ass man it would be grand? or if he was gay it would be grand? Where exactly are you going with that?

Imagine you saw a profile for your doctor (who is gay in this hypothetical) that said he loved a nice tight arse on a fella the day before you were going in for a prostate exam.

Wouldn’t freak you out at all?

If I was that doctor’s patient and I saw a profile saying he loves busty girls I’d be totally freaked out. It makes me think AT BEST he enjoys his consultations more than he should and at worst he exploits his patients.

KikiLaRue

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Trick is to stay away from bargirls.... Bargirls can't eat love

A lot of men tend to go for the low hanging fruit over there, nowadays with Tinder it's easy to meet decent girls with a good job, you'll still be expected to be a provider though, feminism hasn't reached that place yet

This isn’t true. I don’t know any couple without children where the man is expected to provide for the woman. Before children both work, after the first the mum often goes back after maternity leave and only after two does a couple normally make a judgement call that Mam (or Dad) staying home makes more sense than the cost of putting two kids in a crèche.

In many younger couples I know the woman is the higher earned and contributor.

Deebles McBeebles

KikiLaRue wrote: »

This isn’t true. I don’t know any couple without children where the man is expected to provide for the woman.

Not to be contrary but I know a few, it does still occur. Again, its how well you pick your partner.

KikiLaRue

Cutie Pie might not have it exactly right but she’s on to something- there are plenty of men on here who appear to want a relationship (or at least sex) yet hold a very low opinion of women in general.

And they don’t seem to see the contradiction/ problem with that.

KikiLaRue

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Not to be contrary but I know a few, it does still occur. Again, its how well you pick your partner.

I’m sure it still happens here and there but it’s not the norm at all these days.

Deebles McBeebles

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Cutie Pie might not have it exactly right but she’s on to something- there are plenty of men on here who appear to want a relationship (or at least sex) yet hold a very low opinion of women in general.

And they don’t seem to see the contradiction/ problem with that.

The same can be said for both "sides" though, K. Its not exclusively a male thing.

SirGerryAdams

weldoninhio wrote: »

How you doin'?

So...how's your box?

ArchXStanton

KikiLaRue wrote: »

This isn’t true. I don’t know any couple without children where the man is expected to provide for the woman. Before children both work, after the first the mum often goes back after maternity leave and only after two does a couple normally make a judgement call that Mam (or Dad) staying home makes more sense than the cost of putting two kids in a crèche.

In many younger couples I know the woman is the higher earned and contributor.

Obviously you have zero knowledge of Thai culture...

KikiLaRue

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Obviously you have zero knowledge of Thai culture...

What in the name of jaysus has that got to do with this conversation taking place in Ireland about irish dating culture?

ArchXStanton

KikiLaRue wrote: »

What in the name of jaysus has that got to do with this conversation taking place in Ireland about irish dating culture?

Eh because you quoted my post were I was specifically talking about Thailand...

KikiLaRue

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

The same can be said for both "sides" though, K. Its not exclusively a male thing.

It’s not exclusively a male thing, but it seems largely to be a male thing.

There are no female equivalents to incel forums or mgtow (as far as I know, could be wrong but I r never heard of them)

worded

Did anyone mention the wife shop? This was a suggestion on a bachelor farming thread on boards years ago ...

Feisar

KikiLaRue wrote: »

It’s not exclusively a male thing, but it seems largely to be a male thing.

There are no female equivalents to incel forums or mgtow (as far as I know, could be wrong but I r never heard of them)

While not exclusively a male thing per say it pretty much is a male thing. I don't understand all that crap but then I don't understand the youth of today either.

KikiLaRue

Feisar wrote: »

While not exclusively a male thing per say it pretty much is a male thing. I don't understand all that crap but then I don't understand the youth of today either.

I mean you were talking a few posts back about shagging up to three girls while attempting to seduce the girl you actually liked, so you’re not exactly a paragon of virtue in this regard!

worded

Just got a message

“The Russian bride you ordered is waiting for you at work reception” got to run now

Feisar

KikiLaRue wrote: »

I mean you were talking a few posts back about shagging up to three girls while attempting to seduce the girl you actually liked, so you’re not exactly a paragon of virtue in this regard!

Oh yer right, however I wasn't sending out dick pics or crap like that. Or locking myself away in a room to be all bitter and twisted about life.

JupiterKid

There’s a lot of really lazy stereotyping and a strong bang of bitterness going on in this thread. Yes it can be pretty frustrating for a guy who gets lots of rejections in online dating or in person on a night out but some real effort can work wonders in hooking up with someone.

Like I said before here, I’ve been approached by women the odd time on nights out and I’m no specimen of male perfection, but I do look after myself.

Sitting at home constantly bitching about the opposite sex is really not a very endearing attitude.

Women are more choosy about the man they hook up with for good reason: a big mistake in this department can have long lasting lifetime consequences for her. Not so much with guys.

worded

victor8600 wrote: »

For a man? Not really. Put a monkey into a nice suit, angle correctly and he would be attractive enough in a photo

That’s a good looking alpha monkey in fairness, would probably look good without the suit in tree with a load of female monkeys surrounding him
....

mdk_kdm

So a miracle happened and I got two matches from actual attractive ladies, of a good age and weight, who are responding to messages.

I'm not sure what to say to these rare specimens. How does one get to the point of banging?