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How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

jimjangles

I've tried online dating sites and they're absolutely useless.
I'm not ugly but it would seem by my terrible lack of popularity that I don't have the looks for online dating.
Whatever they're looking for online it's not me.
Also I have no kind of a social life anymore.
Also I'm 37 and I'm a man.
So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
I should probably just forget about it.

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m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I normally use binoculars. Working well so far.

Apiarist

wakka12 wrote: »

An ugly face does

For a man? Not really. Put a monkey into a nice suit, angle correctly and he would be attractive enough in a photo

vargoo

Women have to much choice on Tinder etc. They mess everyone around.

Dunno about match.com, fairly expensive, maybe people there are better, more genuine.

suicide_circus

If Buck Rogers could do it in the 25th Century, you can do it in the 21st

c.p.w.g.w

Men are in a precious position.

If you are too forward and persistent you are sexually harnessing them.
If you are cautious and stop at the first sign a women isn't immediately saying yes to a drink you are shy and meek.

We hear that women want a real man, but the characteristics of these "Real" men are in contrast with whats happening socially.

Just my observation, its why the nightclub scene din't work for me, and found my partner(5 years together) online

seamus

I've never used online dating, but from seeing conversations on reddit and such about it, it seems like one of the main issues is the conversation opener.

In that 99% of men start it with "Hey" or equivalent, or some smutty/cheesy remark. Fact is that women have their pick on these sites, so you're one of twenty guys messaging her today. If you start with "Hi" or "Hey", there's a good chance that she's bored right away. Because "Hi" doesn't start a conversation. What do you say to "Hi"? Nothing, you say "Hi" back. You've instantly pushed responsibility for starting a conversation onto her, and chances are she's not going to bother.

And naturally you can whinge about equality all you like, but it still remains a perennial fact that you're clinging onto this one woman as your sole hope of a shag this week, while she has fifty options on the table. Most of them not good options, but still options.

So you need to be the better option. Open with a conversation starter. A funny, perhaps quirky question, not one that requires her to give up personal information about herself, or engage in idle chatter. "How are you today?" or "What kind of man are you looking for?", are not conversation starters. Something like, "Do you think dogs have their own names that they use for people", or "Do you think Bert and Ernie sharing a bed made dating difficult for them".

It doesn't really matter so long as as it's different and easy. Not bland and personal.

Boom_Bap

Just hold out til the 22nd Century, that's when it's all going to turn around for man.

Das Reich

You have to try a foreign woman better if is from Asia.

Boom_Bap

Das Reich wrote: »

You have to try a foreign woman better if is from Asia.

There are loads of hot Russians within 1 mile of me.

[Deleted User]

Just resign yourself to being alone..

major bill

stay off the online dating, unless you are a witty and extremely good looking man you won't get anywhere, Tinder has ruined womens expectations, even the chunkers think they are gorgeous and have over the top expectations due to every random horny ****er swiping right, as for POF , me other half re-activated her account when we first started dating to show me the level of crap women receive and its no wonder a decent bloke gets no reply cos the pervs are spamming the inbox.

Just head out to a pub or late bar and let nature take its course , it will happen.

Zorya

I don't know much about this but I do know that they are not delivered to you.

If all fails spend a fortune and go do some crappy 6 week intensive Yoga teacher training course in a tropical paradise. Then come back and set up your business.

ChikiChiki

Go out and just enjoy yourself. Opportunities will come. I agree that online dating is pants. Having the same ****ty conversation over and over. Waste of time.

Thelonious Monk

I find it easy to get dates in Dublin from dating apps these days. It helps to be tall and good looking and to have your sh*t together. I'm 38 too. My problem is I always think there's a better more attractive one out there on these stupid apps so I'd much rather meet someone in person. McGowan's later on maybe!

FTA69

I think people actively chasing partners develop a “smell of want” that puts people off, especially women. And in the end of it all a fella’s confidence is shot and it become a sh*tty enough cycle.

Personally I’d recommend focusing on one’s self-development and feeling better in themselves. Learn a new language, travel abroad if possible, go to the gym, look at buying some new clothes or adopting a new style, get fit, take up a hobby, reconnect with friends. Get busy essentially; and one you’re doing the above and being happy about it you’ll meet people.

_blaaz

Guess just get on with your life.....hardly end of world stuff not meeting someone anyway??

(Theres always incest,AFAIK its socially acceptable in the midlands?)

wakka12

I think everyone is over thinking this really. If youre a decent looking guy some women will message you or at least reply to you. Lets be real its probably little to do with what you wrote , its how you look. If you look bad, youll have better luck in real life, for sure

BeerWolf

Hug a bear instead, you might like it...

Kauto0709

Never mind that......How is a woman suppose to find a man in the 21st century who isn't just looking for a "a bit of fun"?

[Deleted User]

Just logged in to my inactive pof thing there..

Like, even the whole suggested strategy that we're told will work for men..

Pretty much carpet bomb every half decent looking woman within 100 km with a message and hopefully a couple will message you back..

Like, Jesus..is that not the most bleak symptom of how awful the whole thing is?..

You really would wonder what the world will be like in 30 years time..

dd973

Funny how smug, superior couples never acknowledge luck or chance as ever having any role to play in where and how they ended up.

You know the ones I mean, the sort of long term marriage pacts where the whole dynamic and vibe is akin to a pair of siblings rather than the sort of relationship people have to work their arses off to maintain. The whole thing just glides along like they were born under a lucky star.

Atoms for Peace

I've just plain given up, the awkwardness is worse than the looniness.

vargoo

seamus wrote: »

Something like, "Do you think dogs have their own names that they use for people", or "Do you think Bert and Ernie sharing a bed made dating difficult for them".

It doesn't really matter so long as as it's different and easy. Not bland and personal.

I've seen profiles specifically state they would unmatch anyone that started a convo like that.

[Deleted User]

The death of love..

harry Bailey esq

GBX wrote: »

Have ya frontage.. the wimmen love that in the country

Bag of flake... Women love that in the city.

DopeTech

Op, what's your bio on your tinder profile?

vargoo

Sir Dosser wrote: »

Op, what's your bio on your tinder profile?

Ain't nobody gonna read.

fxotoole

OP wrote:

How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

Tinder

ardinn

The well - Someone mentioned lisdoon, but the well is enough!

Seriously - forget women and learn to dance, at classes you will be forced to dance with everyone so you will meet 50 people in less than an hr.

Still, forget the women, as mentioned before there is a smell of want, and it stinks - just concentrate on being the best dancer you can be.

Why??

The country music scene at present is fooking huge, and full of pussy! and your social life will explode, there isnt a night you cant head somehere - This weekend there is 14000 young wans headed to cowboys and heroes - another 3500 to carlowfest, numerous events around the country everywhere. if its a social life you want - jive!

If you are DEAD set against dancing replace with whatever youd like to do instead and apply the above.

I started dancing a year ago and tbh and toot my own horn, im swimming in it! 35, i might scrape a 5 on the looks scale, and im a narky bollox - If I can be bangin birds form 23 - 56 as much as I am so can you!!

Go get em jimmy!!!

[Deleted User]

I'd never considered the country music scene might be "full of pussy"..

Inspiring post though..