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Age to start school

Tiredandcranky

Looking for a bit of advice, maybe from some parents who have been in a similar situation.

My DS will be 4 1/2 this September and we don’t know whether to start him in school this year or next.

I’m not trying to boast or anything, but he is extremely bright. His preschool teacher said his level of ability in language etc is exceptional. Socially he’s pretty capable i.e. he likes playing with other kids. However, he can be quite cranky, and irritable at times e.g. . So, I’d imagine he won’t be the most popular child. But my hunch is that’s just his personality and a year won’t change it.

I’ve read all the stuff about kids being better off starting school later rather than sooner. But my question is, does that necessarily apply to a very bright child? Would they perhaps be better starting school earlier? We are so good to soak up information when we are young, is it better to keep a child challenged in terms of learning.

I don’t try to teach him anything at home. But recently he’s started taking an interest in words and alphabet, and wants to start writing letters by himself. He can also count objects very well up to about 20. Looking at the junior infants curriculum, it only has counting to 5.... does this mean school will be very dull for him? I loved school and learning always, and I want him to find the same joy in it.

His preschool is excellent by the way, but it’s obviously very play based with little emphasis on formal learning. I’m just afraid if we hold him back that he’ll be bored next year, and he won’t get to take advantage of those precious early years when you can develop a real love of learning.

Any advice/ comments welcome?
We’re very confused and undecided!!

Thanks

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jlm29

What month is his birthday?
Have you asked the preschool what they think? They’re usually very good to judge these things.

salmocab

I’d leave him the year, he would always be the youngest in the class most likely and possibly by a good few months which at that age can be a big difference. If he’s really that bright he’ll still be bright next year and a year more mature.

NashD

My first is a February baby so I'm following out of interest. She loves her creche and I would also class her as intelligent and social.

But none of that prepares her for what happens when she starts secondary - relationships/drinking/social media or whatever it will be in the next decade.

I would prefer her to be one of the older kids in her group. Someone pointed out to me recently that starting her at 4.5 could mean she is starting with almost 6 years olds and down the line I think that could potentially mean she is more innocent and naive and easily swayed. But who knows! Right now she is a tough cookie and the boss in her class.

My husband is on the other side of the fence, leaving her until 5.5 years would mean she is in her preschool class for 3 years and has probably had to see all her buddies heading off to school without her. He thinks she will be bored and should start school at 4.5 years. I don't think boredom is enough of a merit though... I mean what happens if she is bored in 3rd class or 2nd year...

Tiredandcranky

jlm29 wrote: »

What month is his birthday?
Have you asked the preschool what they think? They’re usually very good to judge these things.

Late January birthday.
The preschool recommends all kids stay as long as possible in preschool (I.e. use up the free ecce years). That’s the advice they give to everyone as they believe kids start school too young in Ireland anyway, and shouldn’t be in formal education until they’re 7. Apparently that’s how it’s done in Sweden / Finland ... not sure exactly where.., one of the Nordic countries.

Tiredandcranky

jlm29 wrote: »

What month is his birthday?
Have you asked the preschool what they think? They’re usually very good to judge these things.

Tiredandcranky

NashD wrote: »

My first is a February baby so I'm following out of interest. She loves her creche and I would also class her as intelligent and social.

But none of that prepares her for what happens when she starts secondary - relationships/drinking/social media or whatever it will be in the next decade.

I would prefer her to be one of the older kids in her group. Someone pointed out to me recently that starting her at 4.5 could mean she is starting with almost 6 years olds and down the line I think that could potentially mean she is more innocent and naive and easily swayed. But who knows! Right now she is a tough cookie and the boss in her class.

My husband is on the other side of the fence, leaving her until 5.5 years would mean she is in her preschool class for 3 years and has probably had to see all her buddies heading off to school without her. He thinks she will be bored and should start school at 4.5 years. I don't think boredom is enough of a merit though... I mean what happens if she is bored in 3rd class or 2nd year...

Good point on the teenage years. Maybe we get our maturity level from the group we hang around with though? I mean, if you’re a 13 year old hanging around mostly with 12 year olds, my guess is you probably still have attitudes and behavior more like a 12 year olds than 13 year olds,
That said, the extra year couldn’t do any harm in that case.
Is 19 very old to do the leaving though?

[Deleted User]

Hi OP
Our kids, born in February, March, June and December all started when they were 5.
So the December child was close to 6 when they started.

I think it's better to start them later.

Think of when they are going to secondary school or starting college.

Better to be that bit older and (hopefully) more mature is what we reckoned.

The one draw back is that if they ever had to repeat a year or stay back they would be much older, but if you kid is a bright kid then that may never be an issue for you.

SusieBlue

The later the better, leave till 5 if at all possible. It isn't even a matter of intelligence, its a matter of social skills and coping methods for the big change. The extra time to mature and adjust will do no harm.
I also agree its better for them to be that little bit older in secondary - otherwise you'll be in a situation where your 16 and a half year old is going to be hanging around with kids who are already 18 and wanting to do all the things they're allowed, and all that comes with it.

NashD

Tiredandcranky wrote: »

Is 19 very old to do the leaving though?

Yeah see that's the other side of things and I think transition year is pretty mandatory in Dublin schools so it's not like she can skip that.

Wish there wasn't a choice so I didn't have to try and guess what she will be like/want in 10/20 years!!!

Maybe her school will be oversubscribed and force us to leave her until 5.5 years.....

rubberdungeon

If a child turns 18 during 5th or 6th year, child benefit will cease as child benefit is not paid for any child dependant aged 18 or older, even if they stay in education or training.

Teepinaw

Had a January baby that started at 4.5. I knew she was ready and is thriving now.
Had a September baby that had to wait until 5 and they are both getting on fine.

My thinking was that they can stay back in secondary or whatever if it was deemed to be necessary.

They're flying at the homework, reading, writing.

Bandana boy

I actually started at 3 (was 4 a day later ) I was always by far the youngest in my year through primary and secondary.
It gave me no bother till I went to college were I was probably to young for that level of freedom and I went of the rails a little.

jester77

When are his friends starting school?

At that age I think he would be fine, but if most of his friends are not starting for another year then it may be worth considering to wait.

School is not just about books, another thing to consider is sports. He would be competing against kids that are physically stronger and more mature during school activities, and it could create some self esteem issues down the road if he struggles with this or is not getting picked for teams.

TrixIrl

Just a side thought, I was 4.5 starting school (Jan bday).

Being one of the youngest in the class meant I couldn't really go out with the 18 year olds in 6th year as I was only 17 do pub/club access was limited and my parents had a "legit" excuse about it so there was no disagreement about it. Now obvo I got out enough but it wasn't taken as given.

Also, I chose to take a year out to earn rent money for my first year in college/not be 17 years old for first college semester and I got amazing experience which led to part-time employment the whole way through college and great experience at living away without the student drinking culture. As a result I felt much more mature going into 1st year of college.

Digs

The starting age so depends on the child.

However it’s not really academics you need to be concerned about but are they socially ready? Can he put on his coat himself, open fiddly things in his lunch box, confident going to the loo alone. Ok in group situations, able to cope and confident with his peers?

That’s the stuff you really need to give thought to and if on the fence the extra year won’t do him any harm.

My eldest started at 4.5, she’s in senior infants and no regrets with her. Whereas I’m almost certain we’ll keep our second until 5. She’s not as outgoing and socially confident as her older sister. Third baby is November baby so that decides for us.

Flippyfloppy

Tiredandcranky wrote: »

Good point on the teenage years. Maybe we get our maturity level from the group we hang around with though? I mean, if you’re a 13 year old hanging around mostly with 12 year olds, my guess is you probably still have attitudes and behavior more like a 12 year olds than 13 year olds,
That said, the extra year couldn’t do any harm in that case.
Is 19 very old to do the leaving though?

What is too old to do the leaving though? Perhaps the extra maturity will be of benefit.

And being bored in preschool, they probably won’t be bored because they know no different. They may find the pace a bit slow in junior infants is the only thing but they probably won’t be the only one of that age.

My son is 5 in late October and I’ve been planning on starting him in September but this thread is making me doubt myself due to all the great points raised!

The high horse brigade

I don't see the big deal with starting at 4. I myself was 16 doing the LC (17 a few days days later), it didn't affect me in any way. Our son started school last September at 4 (born april) and is flying it. It's nonsense to be keeping kids that are ready away until they are 5 or 6

salmocab

The high horse brigade wrote: »

I don't see the big deal with starting at 4. I myself was 16 doing the LC (17 a few days days later), it didn't affect me in any way. Our son started school last September at 4 (born april) and is flying it. It's nonsense to be keeping kids that are ready away until they are 5 or 6

In fairness when you were going to school 4 was the standards age to start so you weren’t that young comparatively.

The J Stands for Jay

NashD wrote: »

My first is a February baby so I'm following out of interest. She loves her creche and I would also class her as intelligent and social.

I was a Feb baby and started school at 4. No issues to report.

The J Stands for Jay

I think for every kid, you need to assess how you think they'll get on and decide based on that rather than one age for very child. My youngest is also Feb, and we still don't know what age she'll be starting at. We'll decide closer to the time.

mvl

my one is a may child, we put her to school when she was 4 years/5 months.

- she's flying it, one of the smartest kids in the class; in her case there was no need to wait another year. and if i were to compare, another year @5 would have been still far from 7 (the age I started school on continental Europe) ...

The high horse brigade

salmocab wrote: »

In fairness when you were going to school 4 was the standards age to start so you weren’t that young comparatively.

It still is, there is no reason not to send a child that's ready at 4. Now I do realise not all are ready at 4, but there is no reason to move the age to 5 because some aren't ready

BIGT4464

Keep the kid another year, you are on the bubble although. My girl will be going at 5 and 2 months, this sept, just about right I think. Your call will be correct one eitherway.

salmocab

The high horse brigade wrote: »

It still is, there is no reason not to send a child that's ready at 4. Now I do realise not all are ready at 4, but there is no reason to move the age to 5 because some aren't ready

Well the guideline is to start school the year the child turns 5, the ecce scheme is designed for this too. Obviously every child is different and parents should do what they feel best.
Personally I wouldn’t want mine being the youngest by possibly a few months.

pc7

I was almost 5 starting and by the time I got to secondary school I thought I'd never get out of the place. I don't think I'd have stayed in school until I was almost 19. I was almost 18 leaving and that was late enough. Transition year wasn't in my school then either thankfully for me. My little one will be 4 and 10 months starting this year, I was going to hold them back but have noticed a huge leap in terms of social and practical ability over the last month. I spoke to the preschool and school and all said to start them this year.

poppies2

mvl wrote: »

my one is a may child, we put her to school when she was 4 years/5 months.

- she's flying it, one of the smartest kids in the class; in her case there was no need to wait another year. and if i were to compare, another year @5 would have been still far from 7 (the age I started school on continental Europe) ...

And mine was the same age starting and it was a total disaster! We really should have left them start the following year.

OP you will have for and against probably 50/50 no matter who you ask. What was said to me is you may regret starting younger but you rarely regret waiting a year. If there's the option to do a second year in preschool I would take it. My third could have started last year at 4 (June baby) and she is way ahead of what my May child was but I still waited and am very happy with my decision. I do think with the extra free ECCE year kids are a lot older starting now. My youngest would have been in a class where the average are turning 6 now, so quite a big gap.

hollymartins

My child will be 4.5 next year and as we live in Dublin I put his name down for schools when he was a baby.

I wasn't aware at the time that 4.5 years was considered young (I myself started school when I only turned 4). I had it worked out that he'd finish the 2 years ECCE scheme but then they changed the rules for that a year later!

What happens if we decide he's not ready next year? Does he go to the back of the list for the following year? The only thing stopping me from keeping him home until he's 5.5 is if he ends up at the bottom of the schools waiting lists and can't get a place.

poppies2

I'd say you'd need to contact the school itself to find out. I know someone who deffered her child's place and there was no problem she got the place the following year but in my child's preschool a parent told me only last week they missed out on their place this year having deffered last year in their chosen school.

hollymartins

Yes you're probably right, there's very little guidance out there for parents in relation to this.

mirrorwall14

On the feedback from crèche, and from the school ours (28th Jan) birthday is starting in September. We also discussed it with multiple close family members who are primary teachers from NQT to retired and all day he will be fine. We’ll see.

I was 18 in August of LC, 19 going into college and it did me no favours, I was older than my years and always the ‘responsible’ one. All my peers were younger than me, same in college. Even now years later I’m the first of everyone to be married, first to have kids etc etc.