TomasMacR wrote: » no, totally agree. travel, eating, drinking, cinema etc. alone is thoroughly enjoyable and a lot of people judge it as being odd. point missed and that's not what I'm saying at all...im saying meeting someone on your travels momentarily, taking a picture with them and posting it on social media to show your "friends" who don't seem to know whether you are gay or straight is odd. unless of course he rode her and it was some kind of childish trophy memento to show his "friends"
ginandtonicsky wrote: » It’s not an “I enjoy” or “don’t enjoy” thing, it’s just me really. Single about a year and a half now after two LTRs during my 20s/early 30s. I’ve always been pretty independent though and don’t get people that aren’t. I mean we all entered and will exit this world alone, if you can’t be in your own company for more than a few minutes then you’re kind of screwed. I’ve flirted with the apps but have come to realise than they’re not the way of emotional evolution for your standard human so these days I’m just doing my best in life and seeing who I meet along the way. I get a fair amount of male attention especially since I opened my eyes up to the world around me and deleted all the bs apps from my phone. Met a guy at a wedding recently, another guy from an old workplace got in touch, a work acquaintance, guy at a house party, etc. I love flirting, I love the possibilities. Maybe that’s something I enjoy about being single - knowing that the sky’s the limit, even at this grand aul age of 33. As long as you’re engaging with the world and don’t take life too seriously. I know myself now and know what simply will not work for me. I was merely spitting in the wind in my 20s. I think in Ireland we can be accused of being a bit narrow minded when it comes to the traditional timelines, married by 28, babies by 30, nappies and mortgages for the ensuing decade. That was never going to be me. I know that now, but I spent an awful lot of time worrying about it in the past. I see friends making these big life decisions driven purely by fear, be it fear of judgement or fear of “missing the boat” or whatever and I wouldn’t swap places for all the money in the world. I’ve learned through experience that for me there’s no hell quite like the wrong relationship. That said, love is everything. I’ve got the most wonderful family in the world and would love to replicate that with someone special. I love the security and warmth and support of having someone to come home to. I suspect I’ll find it again too, I find men a lot more forthcoming now that I’m in my 30s than ever before. I went through hell in my most recent breakup and I think it ultimately opened me up a little, I’m quite attuned to the battle-hardened types we tend to be in our 30s. Divorced men love me! :-D You have to be brave too if you want to meet someone. I’ve got too many friends who sit around complaining about men or the apps and I’m like - but what did YOU do about it? Did you ask him out, did you make eye contact, smile, flirt, crack a joke? Text him telling him you like him? You have to meet people halfway, that’s the only way relationships have ever happened for me. If someone asked me to describe myself, “single” would not be a word that I’d use. I find that problematic in people - they see it as this negative thing, something to be ashamed of, or on the inverse, they tout it as something that makes them great or better than someone else’s life decisions. It shouldn’t define you, just like being in a relationship shouldn’t either. The trouble with thinking that way is that it can become a self fulfilling prophecy. People either self identify so strongly with being “perpetually single” that they never meet someone or they stay in the wrong relationships. An awful lot of that around too.
lainey_d_123 wrote: » This stood out to me, because, same. I've recently discovered eye contact. My therapist pointed out how I just avoid people's gaze (I'm on the autistic spectrum) and how it comes across as totally avoidant. I've also been wary of strange men since being harassed in the street a fair bit as a teenager with big boobs, so it's a protection mechanism too. Recently I've started looking people in the eye, and if I notice a man smiling or looking at me, I look back and smile back. Total game changer. Sounds so silly but I just hadn't realised how avoidant I used to be. I complained that nobody was approaching me but now I see that I wasn't giving them any signal to, and all my body language was screaming 'leave me alone', which ironically meant that only the most persistent and usually obnoxious guys still approached anyway.
Ramona Shrilling Matchmaking wrote: » I don't think it's good for the individuals to b e joined at the hip but it's not good for the relationship either, probably. You have to have time to miss each other like.
Dial Hard wrote: » As a wiser soul than me once said in response to the "You complete me" nonsense that gets peddled about relationships, your significant other should be complementary, not supplementary.
Tell me how wrote: » Someone could be living while being single with (hypothetically) 95% satisfaction* in terms of daily happiness, enjoyement, contentment etc. Having a partner may allow them to experience intimacy, companionship, selfless love in a way that they couldn't really do on their own raising their satisfaction levels to 100%. In this case, could they not say that being in a relationship (which allows the above) completes them in a certain way?
Raelynn Pitiful Minion wrote: » I'd say that nowhere outside of Disney films do there exist relationships where both people are 100% satisfied! Studies do show that people in relationships (and especially married couples) are generally happier than single people -- but that of course does not mean that all partnered people are happier than all singles. Being in a relationship comes with the potential for deep unhappiness as well. Not insignificant numbers of married people experience affairs, physical and/or emotional abuse, controlling or bullying partners, withdrawal of sexual intimacy, divorce, and other traumatic and hurtful life events that single people don't have to deal with.So I'd say that a single person could be significantly better off in terms of happiness and contentment than someone in a relationship, especially a troubled relationship.
Sorry about that wrote: » You mean not working out like this: In 2017, there were 15,833 disclosures of domestic violence against women noted during 21,451 contacts with Women's Aid Direct Services. There were 10,281 incidents of emotional abuse, 3,502 incidents of physical abuse and 1,443 incidents of financial abuse disclosed. In the same year, 607 incidents of sexual abuse were disclosed to our services including 323 rapes. The Women's Aid National Helpline responded to 15,952 calls in 2016. (Women's Aid Impact Report 2017)
Feisar wrote: » Well I can't bugger off on hols as I please, changing jobs is something for instance that'd have to be discussed, sure even the dinner if you think about it has to be something we both like. Aligning your life path with someone else will have restrictions or holds on one or compromises, well unless people lead almost separate lives.
ginandtonicsky wrote: » I’ve got too many friends who sit around complaining about men or the apps and I’m like - but what did YOU do about it? Did you ask him out, did you make eye contact, smile, flirt, crack a joke? Text him telling him you like him? You have to meet people halfway, that’s the only way relationships have ever happened for me.
[Deleted User] wrote: » Some women seem to think being bitchy and sarcastic is the way to attract a guy they like.
Woke Hogan wrote: » While I’m sure there exceptions most of the people who claim to be happy being single scream “given up on myself” to me.
Deleted User wrote: » Some women seem to think being bitchy and sarcastic is the way to attract a guy they like.
ToddyDoody wrote: » I must tell people that when they ask why I'm still single.
poisonated wrote: » I’m so sorry you have this mindset. Chin up.
Woke Hogan wrote: » Or you could stop making posts you read on the internet personally, I was speaking generally.
Woke Hogan wrote: » Chin up what? I have been happily married for decades.
Weird Mind Games wrote: » No is the answer. When I was younger all I wanted to do was sleep with as many women as possible. I thought that was the key to happiness. I achieved that goal, to an extent, but it's a pretty meaningless way to live. Now all I want is love, someone who gets me, a soul mate. I don't care how gay that sounds.
Eircom_Sucks wrote: » I joined match.com and worst mistake ever Im not a bad looking bloke by any means , but when you mail a woman a nice message , they view your profile and instantly block you based on your pics , and you can’t even ask why you were blocker etc , any that i have chatted too are so far up their rears its u real , all career career career , i don’t want to hear about your mundane poxy job thanks next
WinnyThePoo wrote: » Almost 30,Single and living on the bread line. So the thought of bankrupting myself to go on a date doesn't appeal. Maybe down the line when things are financially better I might try one of the dating apps.
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