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Anyone else enjoy being single?

ancapailldorcha

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

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Dalomanakora

Memorandum10 wrote: »

It depends what you mean by over the hill, is 12 years past peak attractiveness over the hill?

Ah stop, I was manky looking at 23. I'm far more attractive now hitting 30 than i was 7 years ago ffs :pac:

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Memorandum10 wrote: »

Studies and the real world can verify this.

Show me examples of studies where the subjective nature of attractiveness is verified for us all as an objective fact?

Cant post links - no worries, the study names, year and authors will be fine. Also indicate what part of the conclusion supports your assertions.

SusieBlue

23 year old me had little to no eyebrows and wore too much fake tan. I had hair extensions down to my arse and I got my style inspiration from The Only Way is Essex. :pac:
Current me gets far more attention than 23 year old me. 23 was most definitely not my peak year - if anything its the year I made the the most questionable fashion choices as it was when I was trying to establish my own style and identity.

Current 23 year olds are a totally different kettle of fish. With the access to social media (and all that comes with it, from tutorials to style inspiration) that simply wasn't there years ago, they are already at an advantage. Its incomparable really.

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Memorandum10 wrote: »

Women on average.

Where can this objective fact be verified?

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Memorandum10 wrote: »

can't post links as a re reg unfortunately

Does it bother you that women are usually at their most attractive in their early twenties?

Which women?

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Memorandum10 wrote: »

Studies I've read.

Do provide links - before you are site banned

Tell me how

Memorandum10 wrote: »

The age at which women can inspire the most attraction in men.

What evidence have you to back up your claim that the age at which this is the case is 23?

Pyr0

I enjoy being single most of the time but a part of me wants likes to be involved with someone, in some way. I'm out of a serious relationship about 6 or 7 months now and not exactly eager to jump back into another one but I'm open to a few dates and spending some time with someone every now and again.

I think it's important to be comfortable in your own skin and doing things by yourself and not relying on someone else to enjoy activities with, even if it's normal every day things like having lunch or dinner alone, going to the cinema or a gig and even going on holiday. There's no reliance in any way on someone else and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.

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yourdeadwright wrote: »

The person you said 35 was 12 years past peak attractiveness is on crack

And not the good kind of crack

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SusieBlue wrote: »

I think I'd be a lot lonelier and I'd definitely have way less socialising opportunities if not for them all being in the same boat too. I never thought about it that way before.

Youd make new friends too though, or join groups etc...

But its great that you have a good bunch of buddies around you.

yourdeadwright

I haven't been single in years and years but I know if something happened and I was single I'd enjoy it,

You have to learn to love yourself in this world first and foremost and when you do that you learn you come into this world alone and leave this world alone, Yes a partner and family are amazing but they don't define you , In the end of the day its yourself that makes you happy,

The person you said 35 was 12 years past peak attractiveness is on crack ,
There are countless women you only get better and more attractive with age,
Don't forget personality is something that is a huge turn on for people and most people in there early 20's are stil trying to figure out who they are ,

Deebles McBeebles

Memorandum10 wrote: »

It depends what you mean by over the hill, is 12 years past peak attractiveness over the hill?

F-
Must try harder.

jimgoose

Memorandum10 wrote: »

It depends what you mean by over the hill, is 12 years past peak attractiveness over the hill?

What is "peak attractiveness"? If you say 22 years of age or something like that, 22-year-old women look like children to me, and smell weird. :pac:

Tell me how

Memorandum10 wrote: »

It depends what you mean by over the hill, is 12 years past peak attractiveness over the hill?

2nd post on boards (under this account?) and it's something like this....

Colour me not convinced.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

Tucker Hot Bell wrote: »

My friend's mother was 30 when she gave birth to her older daughter in the 1970s, and the hospital classified her pregnancy as geriatric (perfectly healthy child). So be it. 40+ years on, having babies over 30 - and no health issues for the babies - is extremely commonplace. Yeah the risks increase all right but it's disingenuous to claim they're extremely high when the woman is only just over 30.

In fact the average age of a first-time mother in Ireland is 30, and the average age of an Irish first-time bride is almost 34. So to say that a woman is over the hill once she turns 35 is a bit silly.

Lorelli!

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I'd love to be the person in the group who laughs way too loud at that.

What are you talking about toddy? Group? It's just something my mam and I say to my aunt messing with her.

Perhaps you have a unique relationship with your 60+ year old aunt that you share jokes together that are more risqué?

SusieBlue

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

You're lucky to have that little group Susie. When all around you are in LTR it definitely does not help.

Definitely, its given me some food for thought. Without trying to sound over-dramatic I think I'd probably be pretty miserable if they weren't around as much as they are.
I probably would have struggled a lot more with dealing with the break-up as well, only for them all going through the same thing.

Tbh I'd likely still be wallowing in self pity only for having so many social distractions the last few months.

Its definitely given me some perspective on the matter.

ancapailldorcha

lawred2 wrote: »

For some reason - I had you very much pegged as being a small bit older than that..

Single life is great. I really enjoyed being single. All the time in the world to do what I want. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to succumbing to the occasional bout of loneliness.

I've no time to myself now to ever do anything. Almost everything I do is centered around my kids. It's exhausting. But I wouldn't swap it for anything.

I do miss having time to play golf though.

I get a bit lonely as well from time to time. Ironically, I'm frothing at the bit to stop housesharing and live alone or perhaps with someone.

I've time to read a lot. Maybe that's why you thought I was older?

Deebles McBeebles

You're lucky to have that little group Susie. When all around you are in LTR it definitely does not help.

SusieBlue

It just occurred to me that a big part of why I'm enjoying being single is because all of my close friends also came out of their LTR's within a month of me (I must have started a trend :P).
I've been on 3 holidays in the last few months and have another 2 booked for this year, and there's always at least 2 of them around to go for brunch, or the cinema, or a night out or whatever.

I genuinely don't know if I'd be as happy if they were all still in relationships, because we definitely didn't see as much of each other when we all had boyfriends.
I think I'd be a lot lonelier and I'd definitely have way less socialising opportunities if not for them all being in the same boat too. I never thought about it that way before.

Ulysses Gaze

TomasMacR wrote: »

this sums up the opposite end of what you seemed to be protesting at the end of your first paragraph. it's all pro's and cons...but if you are honest with yourself, being with someone that adds to your life in terms of joy and happiness does just that. we aren't meant to be on our own no matter how much we convince ourselves, that's why you have f*ck buddies, it's as much for companionship as it is for pleasure albeit temporary...you're kidding yourself.

I asked someone earlier similar to yourself, if you actually met someone who you were physically attracted to and you got on great, would you be open to developing it into something which could form a loving relationship? I didn't get a response from him. If the answer is genuinely yes, possibly then most of your post is just denial. If it's no, then there's something wrong with you, intending to stay single deliberately is very odd.

That was to me.

I have been in two long relationships that you described where we ended up moving in together. Moving in together actually ended both relationships. I need far too much time and space to myself and ultimately resented the intrusion into my life.

Selfish of me? Yes. But I ended both relationships because of it.

I am not hardwired to be in those type of relationships. I have never really felt the need to be even when I was younger and more foolish. Yet I don't feel alone or lonely.

I really don't know why that is difficult for some people to understand.

lawred2

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

For some reason - I had you very much pegged as being a small bit older than that..

Single life is great. I really enjoyed being single. All the time in the world to do what I want. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit to succumbing to the occasional bout of loneliness.

I've no time to myself now to ever do anything. Almost everything I do is centered around my kids. It's exhausting. But I wouldn't swap it for anything.

I do miss having time to play golf though.

Eircom_Sucks

Been single a while now and while its great , im sort of sick of being on my todd at the min

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Deleted User wrote: »

Just for the people who are in a relationship and say they can do whatever they want, would you be comfortable buying an extra car without clearing that with your partner? :P

Depends on how it is being paid for.

I can take my personal savings and blow the lot on a car without any discussion with my husband if I want.

But I wouldnt take it from the joint account.

Nor would I take a loan for it without discussing it with him, because as a married couple we are legally responsible for all debt between the two of us.

But it would be very unusual not to discuss a big financial decision as the finances of a married couple impact on each other.

[Deleted User]

Deleted User wrote: »

Just for the people who are in a relationship and say they can do whatever they want, would you be comfortable buying an extra car without clearing that with your partner? :P

Yes and No. Depends what you mean.

If you mean do I feel ok spending my money the way I like without feeling I have to consult anyone or I am under and onus to do so? Yes absolutely. I would be perfectly ok with that.

If you mean do I feel comfortable _not_ consulting with the people most important in my life when I am making big decisions? No - because I actively want to do so. If I was to buy a new car I would actively want their input on the subject and would feel uncomfortable not getting it. Especially ifI was not getting it just to console my Ego on my independence.

TLDR: Absolutely feel comfortable doing it - I just wouldn't want to at all.

[Deleted User]

Just for the people who are in a relationship and say they can do whatever they want, would you be comfortable buying an extra car without clearing that with your partner? :P

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lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I must be imagining all the women I know who had healthy first babies at 37+, so. And here's a fact that will blow your mind - plenty of women don't actually want children. Especially the ones who are actively choosing to be single.

Being a single woman is no barrier to parenthood either, it must be over 20 years now since a GP of mine told me she'd rather see women using a sperm bank than a bad relationship to get pregnant if they were running out of time and wanted to conceive.

Men dont have that option though so if a single man wants to be a father he cant do it alone.

sbsquarepants

Zorya wrote: »

Have only become aware of the context of the word. Anyways, I can imagine the reimagining of c*nt, but sure lookit, I'll mount my own private campaign to do so :pac:. But.... put some of this pungent ungent on your grungy clunge to expunge the gunge before I take the plunge - nah. Can't get behind that ungy sound at all.

Eughh, I'm not a fan of the pungent ones. Give it a quick rub of a baby wipe or something, then we're good to go:D

Cúnt is either an insult (get away from me you stupid cúnt) or a term of endearment (Tony is a sound cúnt isn't he?) in my vocabulary, never an anatomical term.

For anatomical uses see vag and fanny:D

Clunge I've only ever heard on the inbetweeners.

Zorya

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Bring your wellies, we're gonna be knee deep in cúnt - just doesn't have the same ring to it!

Have only become aware of the context of the word. Anyways, I can imagine the reimagining of c*nt, but sure lookit, I'll mount my own private campaign to do so :pac:. But.... put some of this pungent ungent on your grungy clunge to expunge the gunge before I take the plunge - nah. Can't get behind that ungy sound at all.

sbsquarepants

Zorya wrote: »

As a related aside I find that word clunge to be gruesome sounding. I don't get out much so I read it on boards for the first time, and I hope it is not commonly used. C*nt is a much nicer word, frankly. Clunge. Ughhhh.

Bring your wellies, we're gonna be knee deep in cúnt - just doesn't have the same ring to it!