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Anyone else enjoy being single?

ancapailldorcha

So, I'm a little into my thirties now and still single. What I didn't expect was to actually be enjoying it. I'm able to pretty much do as I please. I can pursue my own interests, travel when and where I want and do sod all when I want.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no to meeting someone but I figure I should try and enjoy single life while it lasts.

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Sorry about that

And just to add, you said women have all the power IN relationships- not when they end.

Gimme A Pound

Mad_maxx wrote: »

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If things don't work out, who is hit hardest, who does the state side with?

No disagreement there, and there are relationships where the man is treated badly too, but it's a bit extreme to say men are better off single when plenty are happily married or in a couple, and saying "women have all the power in marriages nowadays" discounts the relationships where the woman is being treated badly.

Teddy Daniels

Sorry about that wrote: »

And just to add, you said women have all the power IN relationships- not when they end.

I assumed he meant non violent relationships.

Richard Hillman

It has its great points and I have really taken advantage of my freedom over the years, but when you've realised you have missed the boat it does hit you a bit :pac:

Pro's:
You're not bound to somebody.
You can travel anywhere.
You can change jobs
You can move without notice.
The freedom is tremendous.

Cons
Admittedly you can get lonely at times, especially when you don't have family.
You're likely never to own your own home (unless inherited)
You're absolutely screwed when you retire. You don't have a double income, the central bank wouldnt let you get a mortgage (unless you were earning really good money) and you spent all of your money on rent. The day you retire, you may as well pop down to the local train line.

Saying all that, there can be nothing worse than being in a relationship and being misserable. There are no perks in that.

Tuco88

If you ask me, a person that is single can live with it manage it more so than a person stuck in a horrid/not happy relationship.

Its generally other people can't handle you being single. Prime example is at a wedding.

Jet Black

Was single for ten years plus and loved it. The worst part of it was people thinking I needed to be with someone to be happy and trying to 'help me'. I lived by myself then for the last few years and thought I'd find that hard, but I liked that even more. Being able to do what you want, when you want and have no-one to answer to was brilliant. I only met someone a few years ago and that's been great too, I do miss the single life sometimes but I'm definitely happier now being with someone.

Gimme A Pound

The Toad wrote: »

When I was a 20 year old loser I thought the life of the player would bring me happiness.

Now I'm a 31 year loser who sleeps around regualry. Ons and short flings get old. I want a girlfriend, I want 'the one'.

But even though I've never had so much success with women, I feel the ship has sailed for me.

Why would it have? Your situation is similar to that of countless men who meet the woman they want to marry when they're in their mid to late 30s.

E.g. both my brothers.

Richard Hillman

Tuco88 wrote: »

If you ask me, a person that is single can live with it manage it more so than a person stuck in a horrid/not happy relationship.

Its generally other people can't handle you being single. Prime example is at a wedding.

The wedding thing is actually great when you're single, for me anyway. A lot of my friends have been/are getting married over the last number of years. Its good because you can just do your own thing for the day. You can get as drunk and rambunctious as you like with nobody there to entertain.

Being single also reduces your likelihood of having to attend weddings. If she gets an invite, you have to go. If I get an invite, she has to go. I'm nobodys +1 for a wedding of which I know nobody there and frankly don't care about.

TheMilkyPirate

The Toad wrote: »

Because I feel like I should have lived the way I am now in my 20s. Got it out of my system. Then met the right girl around 27 and settled. Feel like I'm way behind schedule Almost all my friend's are married.

I think being ignored by women for much of my 20s has left me with serious commitment issues. Maybe even a embryonic sex addiction.

There is no schedule. Everyone lives their life on different timelines

upinsmoke

Some of my friends settled down with people they shouldn't have and now regret it

I love my free and single life at the min , age 28 but don't want to end up the been the 40 year old single man that had to go for pints for some social interaction.

I like freedom,. But putting up with someone bitching and moaning at me constantly I don't think I could hack it.

If the right lady comes along and turns into a **** once were married I'll kick her out the door

dd973

Can't see why people can't marry and live apart, aside from going on holiday together and the occasional bout of physical joie de vivre, the kids could mostly live with mum and pop over now and again, divorce rates would go down exponentially.

I'm in my 40's and still alone, wonder why?

Airyfairy12

I really enjoy being single, if I met someone id embrace it but as it stands, I can do what I want or whatever I dont want and dont have to please anyone but myself. Relationships are hard work and stressful, my friends that are in relationships are constantly in a cycle of having massive rows and not speaking for weeks only to make up, get on for a short time before the next row happens and their stressed out and back in couple therapy or planning on breaking up and most of them arent even having regular sex.
Im genuinely happier single than ive ever been in a relationship and it would take someone very special for me to want to change my situation.

kowloon

BBFAN wrote: »

Maybe it's your age that protects you from it. Yes, I've travelled the world on my own but as I get older it worries me. "what the hell if something happens to me and no-one even realises?".

Get a cat. I have cats so when something happens to me the meat won't go to waste.

Purple Mountain

kowloon wrote: »

Get a cat. I have cats so when something happens to me the meat won't go to waste.

Christ on a bike.

PTH2009

29 single and would do anything too change it.

My friends are very touchy feely when there out and it both annoys and upsets me. They do all the kissing/hugging/cuddle bollox

I feel the ship may have sailed as im getting on in years and stuff like online dating is very hard. I keep being told go out and join clubs etc but i dont want too and id i only really be going too find a girl. I regret i never done many 1 night stands or relationships in my early/mid 20s

I hate this 'ah you will find someone when u dont expect it' stuff as its just fake talk from people who are in relationships and most likely will cut the back off you when ur not around

one day one day i will meet some please god ffs

Yer Da sells Avon

PTH2009 wrote: »

I feel the ship may have sailed as im getting on in years and stuff like online dating is very hard.

29 is not, I repeat, not 'getting on in years'.

Wtf ?

I loved being single until I met a girl with the mind of a bloke. By saying that I mean she never gives me girlie grief like my previous couple of relationships so this is rare. Otherwise single always and live on your own too. Being with Mammy is a cissy cop out.

Noo

Dale Doback wrote: »

Im married and can do pretty much whatever I want.

Exactly this. Everyone saying they love the freedom of being single. I'm in a LTR and we both pretty much do whatever we want. I go on girls holidays, nights out, enjoy all my hobbies with no one holding me back. Yes, I'll let my partner know when I have plans etc. But that's just courtesy, not asking permission. And hes the same with me. If people sacrifice all their freedoms for a relationship then they are in the wrong relationship.

TimesArrow

Some really interesting posts here. I’m 37 now and have never had a real relationship. I never used to think about it much but I do quite a lot of me. In my 20s, I went out a lot And did a fair amount of scoring etc but couldn’t be bothered nowadays. Like many, Pretty much all my mates are settled with kids now. I think I’ve shied away from relationships for the fear it won’t work out. Im a pretty introverted person anyway and have always been comfortable in my own company, doing my own thing. And I tell friends I’m “open” to a relationship, but all my actions suggest I’m not, as I tend to have no real interest in dating or giving things a go. That being said, I’m moving home to ireland quite soon and would like to give dating a proper chance, as I do feel it’ll all pass me by if I don’t change the way I think about all this.

Dalomanakora

I like being single and I like being in a good relationship.

I'm about 7 or so months out of a LTR that was amazing for a few years but unfortunately turned nasty on his end for a year or two.

And I'm enjoying being single. I like having more free time, not having to block out days to see a partner specifically and not having to consider someone else in my decisions.

That said, in a good relationship, you WANT to do those things.

There are benefits to good relationships and being single. Being able to enjoy both is great IMO.

Dalomanakora

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

29 is not, I repeat, not 'getting on in years'.

Ah it can feel like it sometimes. When all your friends are marrying, having kids, settling down and you're still focusing on building a career and are single, you can feel like time is passing you by at a rapid pace. I'm 30 next week and have had the same thoughts tbh! But being single is nice so I don't care really when I think seriously about it.

Mad_maxx

Sorry about that wrote: »

And just to add, you said women have all the power IN relationships- not when they end.

I stand by what I said

Mad_maxx

Tucker Hot Bell wrote: »

No disagreement there, and there are relationships where the man is treated badly too, but it's a bit extreme to say men are better off single when plenty are happily married or in a couple, and saying "women have all the power in marriages nowadays" discounts the relationships where the woman is being treated badly.

You can't legislate against people turning out to be poor partners but when things go before the state, the woman completely has as the upper hand

Mad_maxx

Teddy Daniels wrote: »

I assumed he meant non violent relationships.

Let them push their agenda

leahyl

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

29 is not, I repeat, not 'getting on in years'.

Yeah I was told that when I was 29 too, I’m 33 nearly 34 now, still single....please tell me I’m still “not getting on in years” :-(

Cina

I was single from about 27-30 before I met my current (and hopefully lifelong partner) and I enjoyed it, although I didn't enjoy the new age of dating, i.e. tinder, nor did I enjoy most of my friends being in relationships and not being able to just hang out and drink with them like we used to in our early twenties. What was great was the freedom to do whatever and travel wherever and generally enjoy yourself as long as you have the right mindset.

However I'm definitely a lot happier in my relationship. Being single can be good if you're positive about it but it's just not as good as being in a healthy relationship with someone you really care about and love spending time with.

I'd say the only real downside to being in a relationship vs being single in your thirties is having double the f*cking weddings to go.

ancapailldorcha

I find relying on technology to meet people to be incredibly soul-destroying. Tinder and its ilk are just bleak to use. Dating sites are little better as women are so few compared to men that they put no effort in.

TomasMacR

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

29 is not, I repeat, not 'getting on in years'.

it's not, but it can feel like it as you approach 30, the first significant milestone age of 'getting old' or thinking you are getting old. more so for women, if they haven't had children and want them or aspire to getting married. I'll probably be crucified for saying that second bit but it is true.

suicide_circus

the singletons doth protest too much

Sorry about that

Mad_maxx wrote: »

I stand by what I said

I'm a married woman and don't have all the power in my marriage, and I'm not in an abusive one either. Most marriages work because they're partnerships, not because one person is whipped.
You're uninformed and incorrect.