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Living well is the best revenge

Pinksandblues

Would you agree with the statement -

Living well is the best revenge

What makes people turn the other way and wallow in their self pity and carry out acts of revenge? Is it an ego thing? For control? Surely living well would be more enjoyable than having bags of built up anger to throw about.

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[Deleted User]

I'm not consumed by my desire for revenge on one particular person, but I am very content in knowing that I'll exact it some day. 20 years from now? 30? I dunno.

StupidLikeAFox

DivingDuck wrote: »

Revenge can be immediate, where living well takes time. It's speedy and cathartic, and helps people feel they've gotten closure so they can then move on and live well.

Still totally inadvisable, but you can understand why people feel the urge for it. Living well is the smarter choice if you can make it, though.

You could argue the opposite. If you want revenge you may have to hold a grudge for many years waiting for an opportunity that never comes. You could put whatever wrong it was being you and start living your best life instead

Graces7

i feel sorry for spiteful folk. They truly are not happy and are as the saying goes, their own worst enemy.

Just get on with your life happily. Never give them room in your life. Takes practice but well worth it . Rather than let them drag you down to their level..

anewme

Bitterness only effects the bitter party.

Friend gave me that advice once and it’s so very true.

Nikki Sixx

I heard about a guy I briefly met before,who was bullied badly in a disadvantaged school as a teenager. The guy who was bullied went on to become a very successful business man, with his own company. One of the bullies has a very low level job now. So whenever successful guy meets the burnout bully, he stops and chats. But successful guy is sure to mention expensive stuff he has bought, amazing places he has stayed and generally what a success he has become. I found this an interesting way of getting revenge and making the former bully feel like a loser.

Collie D

I just couldn’t be arsed with holding a grudge in the unlikely hope I’d get my own back one distant day. If someone is a ****, deal with it there and then and move on. Not worth thinking about them.

OldMrBrennan83

Pinksandblues wrote: »

Would you agree with the statement -

Living well is the best revenge

What makes people turn the other way and wallow in their self pity and carry out acts of revenge? Is it an ego thing? For control? Surely living well would be more enjoyable than having bags of built up anger to throw about.

Sometimes people deserve the revenge that's carried out on them. If people are always let away with things then they'll keep doing the same things.

SirChenjin

I interpret that phrase as not dwelling on what happened, just getting on with your own life, and forgetting about the wrong that was done. Not saying it's as simple as that but holding onto the past isn't really good for your own mental health, imo.

Stovepipe

I know of at least two cases of revenge, the sins of the father were visited on the son. The father was a senior captain in an airline and was involved in training and selection and when people were being picked to move up to a bigger type of jet, he "chopped" a load of good candidates, all experienced pilots and the common denominator was that they had all originated form one particular school. After a while, the airline copped on to this, overruled his decision, and they moved up a few of the rejectees, because they had cockpit seats to fill. Time passed and his enemies waited in the long grass, looking for a chance to nail the father. His son came in, one day, as a cadetship candidate. Nice guy, good reputation, known as a good pilot, no bad habits but he was a marked man and he was rejected. Now, in this airline, having a Dad as a captain is a sure fire way of getting in, but to no avail. Every time he tried, he got rejected so he went elsewhere and got picked for the job and became a successful pilot in due course. The father was raging because he knew he'd been nobbled but he could never prove it and it was only after he retired, that someone let the truth slip out.

harry Bailey esq

Pinksandblues wrote: »

Would you agree with the statement -

Living well is the best revenge .

I dunno, vengeance is pretty good (Lenny Leonard™) could you clarify whom/what grievance needs to be avenged? I could probably give you a better answer if I were privvy to that.

anewme

Stovepipe wrote: »

I know of at least two cases of revenge, the sins of the father were visited on the son. The father was a senior captain in an airline and was involved in training and selection and when people were being picked to move up to a bigger type of jet, he "chopped" a load of good candidates, all experienced pilots and the common denominator was that they had all originated form one particular school. After a while, the airline copped on to this, overruled his decision, and they moved up a few of the rejectees, because they had cockpit seats to fill. Time passed and his enemies waited in the long grass, looking for a chance to nail the father. His son came in, one day, as a cadetship candidate. Nice guy, good reputation, known as a good pilot, no bad habits but he was a marked man and he was rejected. Now, in this airline, having a Dad as a captain is a sure fire way of getting in, but to no avail. Every time he tried, he got rejected so he went elsewhere and got picked for the job and became a successful pilot in due course. The father was raging because he knew he'd been nobbled but he could never prove it and it was only after he retired, that someone let the truth slip out.

That’s not revenge. That’s pure spitefullness. It’s also extremely unprofessional - the airline lost out on a quality candidate and nice guy because of absolutely nothing he had done. Really dislike these type of incidents.

When we were young, our Dad had a hot quick temper and would not be one to be crossed. I remember children (snobby house )telling us they were not allowed play with us because our Dad was common. That bloody stung a 10 year old.

I could say now that I’ve a better career, home and lifestyle than those children, but that would be just as bad, it was their parents who said it, not them and everyone should be judged on their own behavior, not someone else’s.

I am not my Fathers keeper.

Mad_maxx

Pinksandblues wrote: »

Would you agree with the statement -

Living well is the best revenge

What makes people turn the other way and wallow in their self pity and carry out acts of revenge? Is it an ego thing? For control? Surely living well would be more enjoyable than having bags of built up anger to throw about.

It's not a choice, many who seek revenge are entirely justified and compelled to do so, those they seek revenge against are far too often themselves excused for what they have done

Mad_maxx

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

Sometimes people deserve the revenge that's carried out on them. If people are always let away with things then they'll keep doing the same things.

Very true, the received wisdom about " letting things go" is societies way of house training people so they are pacified easy to manage citizens

Much as I despise travellers, their honour culture means you don't brush off slights

Mad_maxx

SirChenjin wrote: »

I interpret that phrase as not dwelling on what happened, just getting on with your own life, and forgetting about the wrong that was done. Not saying it's as simple as that but holding onto the past isn't really good for your own mental health, imo.

If the wrong done to you was so great and the lasting effects so profound so as to leave you marked, you don't have a choice, very few are masochists and chose pain

From workplace bullying to other areas, today's culture bends over backwards to defend the wrongdoer and condemns the victim for not " getting on with it"

It's insidious

steddyeddy

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Revenge is great. My partner in my first business was stealing funds and doing deals on the side. Cost me about 45k in punts. My only way of settling this was revenge. I managed to ruin his next business, denegrate his name in the business community we operated in, and celebrated his untimely death at 37.

Turning the other cheek is hippy bullcrap.

I'd agree largely except it sounds like your former partner denigrated his own nae due to his actions.

Kivaro

Amy_Amy wrote: »

I hopped into bed with an older man. He ****ed me about promising me a gift. Something that never happened. He was only getting my hopes up for something more. I just cannot get over this and how he used me.

Oh Amy Amy. Can't believe you fell for that one.

anewme

[/QUOTE]
Very true, the received wisdom about " letting things go" is societies way of house training people so they are pacified easy to manage citizens

Much as I despise travellers, their honour culture means you don't brush off slights.

Thats actually a very good, if extreme example of why revenge is not healthy, mentally or physically.

All of these avenge attacks over some percieved slight has seen many dead or seriously injured needlessly. Travellers have an angry violent honour culture and a hugh level of mental illness, depression and suicide.

The gangland fueds are the same. Innocentbpeople have lost their lives in these revenge attacks.

And we had decades of it in Northern Ireland.

harry Bailey esq

Amy_Amy wrote: »

I hopped into bed with an older man. He ****ed me about promising me a gift. Something that never happened. He was only getting my hopes up for something more. I just cannot get over this and how he used me.

The name johnny flash should have raised a few flags in fairness... On the other side of the coin, you've revealed yourself as someone who willingly trade sex for gifts. Pm sent.
My rich mate might be interested

Calltocall

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Revenge is great. My partner in my first business was stealing funds and doing deals on the side. Cost me about 45k in punts. My only way of settling this was revenge. I managed to ruin his next business, denegrate his name in the business community we operated in, and celebrated his untimely death at 37.

Turning the other cheek is hippy bullcrap.

That’s really fd up

Graces7

in a way, living well to get back at someone is not really living well? just another form of revenge?

harry Bailey esq

Calltocall wrote: »

That’s really fd up

How so? He fuucked johnny over, and got his just desserts. The only part I wouldn't find comfort in is that the swindler died. Personally when I hold a grudge, it's for life.

BBFAN

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Revenge is great. My partner in my first business was stealing funds and doing deals on the side. Cost me about 45k in punts. My only way of settling this was revenge. I managed to ruin his next business, denegrate his name in the business community we operated in, and celebrated his untimely death at 37.

Turning the other cheek is hippy bullcrap.

Jesus H, I love a bit of revenge but revelling in someone's early death is just going too far. :eek:

The Fools

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Revenge is great. My partner in my first business was stealing funds and doing deals on the side. Cost me about 45k in punts. My only way of settling this was revenge. I managed to ruin his next business, denegrate his name in the business community we operated in, and celebrated his untimely death at 37.

Turning the other cheek is hippy bullcrap.

Damn.

fash

Autecher wrote: »

Note to self: Never steal money from JohnnyFlash

Note to self: find way to surreptitiously return €60k I may have accidentally borrowed from JohhnyFlash's company...

paleoperson

Pinksandblues wrote: »

Would you agree with the statement -

Living well is the best revenge

What makes people turn the other way and wallow in their self pity and carry out acts of revenge? Is it an ego thing? For control? Surely living well would be more enjoyable than having bags of built up anger to throw about.

Which is it you're after then, revenge or enjoyment?

I think it's a mistake to question such a basic instinct of people.

Church on Tuesday

Calltocall wrote: »

That’s really fd up

45k is a lot of money.

I think any opportunity for revenge should not be passed up in this life.

Mad_maxx

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

45k is a lot of money.

I think any opportunity for revenge should not be passed up in this life.

Depends how much is required.

[Deleted User]

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Revenge is great. My partner in my first business was stealing funds and doing deals on the side. Cost me about 45k in punts. My only way of settling this was revenge. I managed to ruin his next business, denegrate his name in the business community we operated in, and celebrated his untimely death at 37.

Turning the other cheek is hippy bullcrap.

My gosh. I kinda hope this persona you’ve created ( out-of-touch middle-aged shagger) doesn’t match your real personality.

[Deleted User]

I'd agree with what Graces7 said somewhere...like, mostly, getting revenge means being dragged down to their level..it just perpetrates it..

EmmetSpiceland

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.