bigpink wrote: » Don’t go just tell them Sounds like they very forceful types Staying with strangers is strange Your only 25?
cruizer101 wrote: » So wait the brother lives in a house with two other guys and you, your husband his mam and dad and your child are going to go over and all stay in the house for 3 weeks? How big is the house? Do the other guys know, I'd be pretty pissed if housemate invited that many people to stay over for a few days nevermind weeks.
dudara wrote: » It is a wonderful opportunity to travel to Australia for 3 weeks, and it would be a shame to miss out because you were scared. You might regret it later. Instead of shying away from the situation, is there anything that you can do take charge of it or impose some control? Can you work out a plan to travel safely with your medication and with your child? Can you organise separation accommodation for yourself and your family (the others can stay with the brother)?
can't log in wrote: » OP it's clear you don't want to go regardless of the reasons so you are going to have to sit your husband down and have a very direct conversation with him. Don't let him just dismiss your concerns, you need to be able to talk to each other. I would be careful about how you word some things, its not his parents fault, they are obviously excited to travel with one son and grandchild to see their other son and while they may have rushed you to organise it, it doesn't sound like they've been malicious about it. Saying his brother was home a few months ago also wouldn't be something I'd bring up, he lives in Australia so he is not going to be popping over on a regular basis. Personal at 25 I'd already gone travelling all over by myself and see little issue with the trip but that's my background and they see it differently to you and you need to be able to discuss that with your OH. You have a medical issue that is causing you concern and this stress is adding to it so that is what you need to speak to your OH about it. If you start mentioning things like the accommodation for example as an issue he may just book you a hotel which solves that issue but doesn't remove your main issue for not wanting to go which is your health and just adds more pressure on you to go. How old is your child? are they old enough to be aware of going somewhere new etc? If they are a baby/toddler I wouldn't be crazy about travelling so far with them but if they are old enough to understand whats happening your OH may push to take them without you.
2013Lara wrote: » Agree with above. Take control. Go to Australia, fab!! and you're very lucky to be in the position to be able to go. But don't stay with your in laws. I wouldn't even stay with my own mother for three weeks and we get on very well. Find somewhere close by for the three of you to stay so you have breathing space. Go on your terms and enjoy every minute of it. Spend time with them but also spend time on your own with your partner. When more kids come along it probably wouldn't be something you'll be able to do due to cost. I'm saying this as a 32 year old with three kids and a mortgage. I'd have loved to have the opportunity! Don't over think it! Bonus too, you'll have a babysitter to go out and spend some time with hubby too. If you still really don't want to go closer the time, stay home and let your partner go.
dudara wrote: » Put the trip aside for one minute, it sounds as if ypur real issue is your husband’s lack of responsibility to his parental duties.
FuNKy102 wrote: » I still would love to go myself but as it is my own family/siblings are all against me travelling over there with my seizures and a small child aswel because they have expressed that I will be very stressed out and very much on my own while my husband will be elsewhere with his brother.
FuNKy102 wrote: » Unfortunately the reality of it is that I have always being the one who is left to do everything when it comes to our child, my husband barely helps out at home, at an event or any other occasion so I don't see how this will be any different except we will be in a different country. His parents are very old and our child has never being left with them before Tbh so I don't know how our child would react either. I just don't know Tbh but thanks I agree with what your saying
JustAThought wrote: » It is a huge amount of money for them to spend & it clearly means a lot to them to have all the family together & to have one probably last family memory with everyone together and everyone included..
Savage_Henry wrote: » Would you be upset if he went alone with parents?
Big Bag of Chips wrote: » You seem to be in panic mode now and cannot see any good in this at all. Maybe you will decide that you simply can't do it, and that's fine. Or maybe you could sit with your husband and talk to him, really talk to him. It sounds like he dominates you a bit and you don't get heard. You need to tell him why this is such a big deal for you, whereas it mightn't be for him or his parents. For a start the bulk of looking after your child will fall to you, and you are just thinking if the practicalities of that. That's not something that he or his parents really have to consider. Also your epilepsy is a huge factor. Again, not something that they have to consider. Change of environment, stressful situations (which long haul flight with a toddler is likely to be at some point) could trigger something. These are not minor issues, and it sounds like you are an anxious type anyway, so all this will be magnified in your mind. Don't fight with your husband on this, just yet. You agreed to go, so it's understandable the flights were booked once you agreed. But you both need to sit down and go through everything. You need to go to your GP and your husband should go with you. You need to look into alternative accommodation. You also need to let your husband know that if you do go it will be as a family with a toddler. That this can't be a 3 week piss-up with his brother and if that's what he hopes it will be then you'd feel better at home in the comfort of your own surroundings and let him go by himself. If he agrees that he will be there to support you, then he can't sulk on the holiday if he feels his "holiday of a lifetime" is curtailed by his child being there. This could be the chance of a lifetime, it could also be a very lonely time if you already have a sense of how it will play out. Talk to each other, and make him hear your very valid concerns. It doesn't have to be a battle.
can't log in wrote: » OP you have to sit down and discuss this with your OH. The fact that he is planning to fly to the other side of world with toddler but thinks you can all crash with his brother is madness. He is not considering your medical condition either and sounds like you will be left to look after the kid and not actually see any of the country. You need to be frank with him, if he wants to go spend time with his brother then you aren't going along just to be a babysitter. If you don't learn to communicate better you'll find yourself on a plane with a screaming child, a husband and inlaws who won't help you and at high risk of having a fit miles up in the air. It would be amazing to go away on a trip like this but only if you are actually going to enjoy it.
