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Buffalo & Doozerie - The mild musings of two grumpy old men!

Lusk Doyle

Having read a fair amount of giving out rants from these two recently and also the responses to same from both the subject matter of said ranting and fellow boardsies, I think it's time for this thread to be rolled out. Their stories are deserving of their own home!

Buffalo, doozerie - care to humour us?

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magicbastarder

the chap today was definitely from ulster. he sounded like ian paisley snr in full flow, to the point where i didn't actually understand him.
however, i *think* he was shouting at me that he needed to look at his phone while driving in order to be able to figure out where he should be going.

JMcL

magicbastarder wrote: »

however, i *think* he was shouting at me that he needed to look at his phone while driving in order to be able to figure out where he should be going.

Keep going til you get to the backstop, then veer right until the water comes up over your head?

Eamonnator

CramCycle wrote: »

They are on edge because they haven't paid their VRT, and they are worried you will highlight them to revenue. Seen a few local businesses, living local, based out of nearby, and they have .ie websites on the van but running english plates for months. Absolutely crazy they get away with it, makes me foolish for paying mine.

You could report them to Customs.

CramCycle

Eamonnator wrote: »

You could report them to Customs.

I probably should, I certainly will for any of them that are poor drivers IMO, may seem petty but better than confrontation.

CramCycle

8 seconds after the light went red an 04 Honda Accord went through across 6 lanes of traffic. I hadn't even copped it until it was halfway across. Cars and MB beside me got a shock as well. A few actually stopped to double check the green light it was so unbelievably late.

magicbastarder

i saw two examples of shockingly late red light running this morning. one at a junction which i recently started paying more attention to (i'd usually go through it early enough that traffic is light and it's not as obvious) - where griffith avenue meets the malahide road.

Pinch Flat

Coming to Park Gate street from chapelizod past the bus garage is my favourite. Laughable red light breaking here daily. Current record counting in my head 7 or 8 seconds, but I’ll make 10 seconds some day please god

magicbastarder

well, that was an interesting trip home. got passed by a cyclist at red lights three times - dangerously so at one set, but at the third he came to a juddering halt as a car was entering the junction from the side as he entered it.
as soon as the cyclist started F-ing at the motorist - god help me, for i could not help myself - i blurted out 'oh you f***ing ****'; obviously loud enough for the cyclist to hear me, which led me to mimic the 'yes, you' gesture at him.
next thing, he's throwing the bike down and doing the 'come and have a go if you think you're hard enough' routine. we swopped places twice after that and i got a stream of 'i will f***ing bust you up' and 'you f***ing f****t' and variations thereof, each time.

what could have added injury to insult was that a few hundred metres after i passed him for the last time, a car pulled out on a roundabout in front of me and i locked up my rear wheel braking, thinking 'oh good christ the last thing i need if i end up in a crumpled heap across this bonnet is that prick catching up with me'. thankfully the motorist slammed on just in time and i managed to slip past.

Chips Lovell

The two questions you need to ask yourself when considering whether you fight another cyclist are:

1. ) Am I wearing cleats?
2. ) Are they wearing cleats?

magicbastarder

that only struck me afterwards. i think he was on flat pedals (didn't actually see his footwear), i was using SPDs.

doozerie

The UCI-approved guide to how a cyclist should fight (from 1m44s in):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eblvAOFaQtU

doozerie

I've had a few occasions over the last few weeks where I found myself at a loss for words in response to the behaviour of a few motorists. They can all basically be boiled down to an attitude that says "cyclist = obstacle, obstacle = delay, delay = unacceptable, acceptable = drive over/through cyclist".

It's an appalling attitude, such people literally shouldn't be allowed out, but until the laws change to allow them to be legally dragged out of their cars by their ears and nailgun'ed to a collective naughty obnoxious-toe-rag step, they'll continue to be a blight on society.

I can't say that I've come to accept that attitude, it still appals me every time I encounter it, but I continue to be slightly more shocked by that same attitude when it is demonstrated by other cyclists. One of the examples of that is cyclists that shove past on my inside while I'm stopped at a red light.

People going around me at red lights is so commonplace that I'd almost miss it if they stopped doing it, but squeezing between me and the curb has become almost as common. It creates an interesting dilemma, I usually occupy the lane so that cars don't try to squeeze past me on the right while stopped at a red light, but that just invites a swarm of cyclists to shove past on my left, and they are equally as "considerate" and "spatially (un)aware" as obnoxious motorists. I reckon an appropriate collective name for such cyclists and motorists alike is road-ents.

Worse still is when it happens in moving traffic. It now happens frequently when I'm cycling in a cycle lane, a slow moving line of motorists to my right, and I close on a slower moving cyclist ahead of me. Usually there isn't enough space to overtake them safely so I stay back and wait for an opportunity to do so. Cue some road-ent on a bike trying to force their way past, squeezing through the insufficient gap between me and the car to my right or, worse, between me and the curb while pushing me towards the cars.

I just don't understand how people can justify such behaviour to themselves. Maybe my mistake is in assuming that there is anything between their ears besides air and tumbleweeds. Bring on the zombie apocalypse, it would bring more considerate behaviour than the current road-ent invasion.

magicbastarder

i'm usually in the office by half seven when i do commute (i've been going in two days a week recently) and don't go into the city centre, so i don't usually have much by way of interactions with other cyclists, certainly not in the morning.

actually, with all the fuss with that chap earlier, i forgot that i actually had to jam on three times today on the way home. one was a car changing lane without indicating while i was alongside, another was the one on the roundabout mentioned above, and a third was a car indicating to pull in; the driver stopped the car without actually pulling in and seemed to acknowledge me, so i went past, but just as i was about to draw level with the front passenger door, it opened. i should have known better, i guess.

all this with me conscious that my brakes weren't performing at 100%, i think they picked up a load of crud on the commute in this morning.

Mc Love

Most of my incidents with road-ents happen on the way home weirdly enough. Cars overtaking me because I'm in the way but actually putting themselves in danger by doing so, see's oncoming car, accelerates to get past me (taking the lane) and nearly causing an accident with the oncoming car, except waiting for a few seconds on a 50km/h stretch of road and then safely overtaking.

Only cyclists behaviour I see is the driving straight through red lights when i'm stopped at them, and there seems to be this group of scumbag kids that think they own the road, driving on the wrong side of the road, and crossing the road in the path of oncoming cars.

magicbastarder

so, the second time in less than a week i've been profane in relation to another cyclist.
this morning, sitting at lights, and they went green - just as i'd clipped in and was just moving off, a cyclist came up from behind me on the left, and swung hard to the right across my front wheel. missed me by less than a foot. i had a minor wobble in surprise and cussed at him as much as a reflex action than anything else.

Mc Love

Glad it's not just you magicbastarder. Similar story this morning, lights go green, I'm just about across the road when a road-ent decides he's not stopping at the red light, and it looked like he was going to cut across me and other traffic, I roared its a red light and he just looks at me and goes around me, narrowly dodging the car behind me.

CramCycle

Well I didn't shower myself in glory this evening. Cyclist overtook me but was only just ahead. I hung back enough that I wasn't riding up his arse. Anyway coming through Shankhill at the lights before the roundabout (from the N11 side), The car just beside him pulled in on him, he just made it through but I was pinched against the kerb. I let a yelp but no response. The car continued and as I passed it I belted the wing mirror and dead eyed the driver, who it turns out was elderly in nature and horrendously confused as to why I had assaulted their car. They followed me for a bit, not overtaking when it was clear, I thought for either fear I would attack again or in a plan to run me over. Since it wasn't clear, I eventually pulled in. They pulled in too beside me, almost crushing me again and wound down the window. Before they said a word, I looked in, and said "your wondering why I hit your wing mirror?". "Well, yes", they replied. So I recounted how only two minutes previously they had nearly hit the cyclist in front of me and nearly knocked me clean off the bike. They replied quizically, "did I?", then, "No I didn't", then, "eh sorry", and drove off, with that look of confusion that filled me with fear as since they hadn't noticed the first time, they couldn't quite imagine what I was saying was possible and I imagine her mind was working through a puzzle which would be a cross between a Christopher Nolan and M Night Shyamalan movie script, if you were half asleep but unwilling to turn away.

CramCycle

Gardai in the bus lane this morning. I was out of the bike lane and in the bus lane as the next junction is a danger. Gardai pulled me over and told me to get into the bike lane, I politely explained I was only in it as the bike/bus lane is packed at the next junction and it was dangerous to stay in the bike lane. He had a tone, and informed me that's why they were clearing it for "youse". I of course got to the next junction and the other garda had blocked the cycle lane by pulling in all the unaccompanied and untaxed cars. If the first one just fined them instead of waving them back in it would have made more sense. They drove straight upto him before moving back into the driving lane, but only after being waved out of the bus lane.

Leroy42

Are we required to use the bike lane at all times? I was under the impression that bike lanes were not mandatory.

magicbastarder

no, the only cycling infrastructure you are required to use are contra flow cycle lanes on one way streets, and in pedestrianised areas.

CramCycle

Leroy42 wrote: »

Are we required to use the bike lane at all times? I was under the impression that bike lanes were not mandatory.

Not at all but he already seemed in foul humour so I wasn't going to be one of the warrior types to exert my rights in this regard. As predicted, I had to move to the bus lane shortly afterwards regardless but I choose the better part of valour and just nodded. I did say it would be handier and quicker if you just fined them, as I cycled off but I have no idea if he heard me.
Also my understanding is so long as a Garda does not direct you to break the law, you should follow their directions while a part of traffic, but i could be wrong.

doozerie

CramCycle wrote:

He had a tone, and informed me that's why they were clearing it for "youse".

That's "our finest" right there... ...we're kinda doomed, it seems

magicbastarder

theory: someone in garda management has decided that they've had enough negative publicity about motorists in cycle lanes, so they're targetting the N11. because that's where the majority of the reports come from...

CramCycle

magicbastarder wrote: »

theory: someone in garda management has decided that they've had enough negative publicity about motorists in cycle lanes, so they're targetting the N11. because that's where the majority of the reports come from...

Won't work, he wasn't fining the ones he was catching early and loads were finding it way too easy to pop out and go around. I had to laugh at the few who pulled in to the bus lane after the Garda was in plain view, that deserves a fine for lack of observation

Leroy42

CramCycle wrote: »

Not at all but he already seemed in foul humour so I wasn't going to be one of the warrior types to exert my rights in this regard. As predicted, I had to move to the bus lane shortly afterwards regardless but I choose the better part of valour and just nodded. I did say it would be handier and quicker if you just fined them, as I cycled off but I have no idea if he heard me.
Also my understanding is so long as a Garda does not direct you to break the law, you should follow their directions while a part of traffic, but i could be wrong.

You should never give up your rights. He will continue doing it and obviously has never been set straight.

I mean I know what you're saying, and have done the same in the past myself, but these days I has less allowance for this type of ignorance. That his fecking job after all. If he doesn't know the law he shouldn't be out there.

Pulling you over for sheer ignorance of his part of not acceptable. I would have asked him what law you were breaking. What danger you were creating by, lawfully, being in the buslane?

BTW, this is a not a rant aimed at you, it more a general rant aimed at the ignorance of the very people that are supposed to know this stuff.

magicbastarder

Cram, are you on twitter? i would be curious how the garda twitter account would respond to a 'what should i do when a garda mistakenly tells me i am required to use a cycle lane' question.

Fian

CramCycle wrote: »

Also my understanding is so long as a Garda does not direct you to break the law, you should follow their directions while a part of traffic, but i could be wrong.

I believe you are obliged to follow the lawful directions of a garda in these circumstances. Similarly you can't just drive through a junction when a garda is marshalling traffic and directing you to stop, even if you have the green light.

Leroy42

Fian wrote: »

I believe you are obliged to follow the lawful directions of a garda in these circumstances. Similarly you can't just drive through a junction when a garda is marshalling traffic and directing you to stop, even if you have the green light.

But a garda has no right to stop you for no reason. He was not directing the person, he ordered them to stop and then told them they were wrong in their actions.

There is a big difference between the two.

CramCycle

Just to make it clearer, it wasn't clear to me. As I approached the garda in the bus lane, he was standing in the bike lane. A car had decided to come out into the bus lane behind me. He stepped out and pointed to the bike lane/side of road. It was not clear to me if he was directing me or the car. He then told me, could have been asked but sounded like I was being told. In essence, pulled over was probably the wrong terminology as I stopped due to lack of clarity.

As it turns out the pointing was for me, pretty much just saying get in there, as the car behind was waved back out into traffic.

Miklos

I wonder what would have happened if you just kept going?