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Hate my new job, can I go back?

Ande1975

Hope someone will be able to offer me some advice.
I just started a new job after Christmas and I absolutely hate it to the point that I am depressed now. Its a disaster, morale is low and people are stressed.

I loved my last company but I was only ever on contract. There was a chance I could have been made perm but not until some changes were implemented company wide. It was a 50/50 chance.

This role came up, perm and more money and I just thought finally some security but as soon as I started I knew I made a massive mistake. My gut is shouting loudly.

I was almost crying with relief Friday evening and I'm sick today at the thought of facing into the place tomorrow.

I've spoken to friends in my previous company and they said they will keep a lookout for perm roles for me. The company knows why I left (permanency and risk of losing job), I wanted to stay. I've all the skills they need for their way of working.
Do you think they would take me back?

Thanks for reading. I'm shaking with the stress of this all.

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caviardreams

Would you think about trying to stick it out for 9 months or a year and then trying to go back? It would look a bit stronger then and you could make a case that it was useful experience as a short term role but you did all you could to develop it etc. and in the longer term would like to return and that you have also developed X skills from your time away which would be an asset?

I know it means sticking it out, but at least if you feel it is only for 9 months or so it might be easier to deal with mentally?

Captainsatnav

Hi OP. While I didn't return to the job I left, in April 2017 I left a place I'd been in for over 2 years to go to a certain that I should have known had form. A colleagues left with tails between her legs couple of years ago. It was a 20% bump in pay and I was bored witless where I was so I took it. They had me in 4 times to interview me so mea culpa on that part.

I lasted 4 months.

Tbh I knew 5 minutes after I was directed to my desk on my first day "nope...not for me". I spent the next couple of months trying my best but nothing I did was ever good enough. Co-workers were stressed to their eyeballs, no craic, everyone head down beavering away on the keyboards, dog eat dog corporate bullsh1t.

The effect that this was having on me was terrible. I was getting cold nervous sweats driving up there every morning, Feeling guilty about leaving any time before 7, nothing but beratement at one to one meetings with manager over my work, no confidence in myself or that I'd ever provide a comfortable future for myself or partner after all my studies and my qualification. It was the worst summer of my life.

I got on to a recruiter on the advice of my partner, dad and friends. She understood the scenario 100%. By September 2017 I was out of there and in a great fin tech place with only a €2k pay resuction, where no one cares about your previous experience or school. Ppl of all socioeconomic backgrounds all mucking in together. My boss is sound. He's out the gap at half 5. We have the craic and after 16 months I'm earning a little more than I was in the hell hole!

Lesson for you-leave and leave as soon as possible. F*ck them. Contact a recruiter Monday. Work to live. Never live to work.

Ande1975

Thanks Captainsatnav, the wheels are now in motion.
I won't get back there straight away but I will in time. I have people rooting for me. I've learned a lot about my ex manager which is disappointing. Fingers crossed I'll get back there sooner rather than later

Ande1975

OMM 0000 wrote: »

The first part is true (they want experienced employees) but it does not look good you want to go back. Leaving and then returning is generally seen as weak. That's not to say they won't take you back though. Good luck.

I don't agree that leaving and returning is seen as weak when my reasoning was legit. Turns out there is a collective agreement that where I have gone to is not a pleasant environment.

Ande1975

caviardreams wrote: »

Would you think about trying to stick it out for 9 months or a year and then trying to go back? It would look a bit stronger then and you could make a case that it was useful experience as a short term role but you did all you could to develop it etc. and in the longer term would like to return and that you have also developed X skills from your time away which would be an asset?

I know it means sticking it out, but at least if you feel it is only for 9 months or so it might be easier to deal with mentally?

I would lose my marbles. I am miserably unhappy and stressed at the thought of going in there tomorrow

OMM 0000

Ande1975 wrote: »

I don't agree that leaving and returning is seen as weak when my reasoning was legit. Turns out there is a collective agreement that where I have gone to is not a pleasant environment.

It is definitely seen as weak.

You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.

Ande1975

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It is definitely seen as weak.

You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.

You do not know anything about my skills or the details of my situation. I rather go back than get a new one as I know I was happy there and I didn’t want to leave in the first place. Less of the judgement please. This is hard enough.

HandsomeBob

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It is definitely seen as weak.

You left to go to another job, it failed, and now you're returning to your old job instead of getting another new one.

Some people are going to interpret it as "she doesn't have the skills to work elsewhere".

After a few months though no one will care, so go for it anyway.

From a negotiation point of view it puts you on the back foot and I've known companies to offer less than what the person was making originally, but from a day to day working point of view, your colleagues and manager would just be delighted that a solid hand is back. Sounds like the latter is what the OP is concerned about - a day to day working life that suits them.

Ande1975

HandsomeBob wrote: »

From a negotiation point of view it puts you on the back foot and I've known companies to offer less than what the person was making originally, but from a day to day working point of view, your colleagues and manager would just be delighted that a solid hand is back. Sounds like the latter is what the OP is concerned about - a day to day working life that suits them.

Yeah that is the only thing that concerns me is the salary. However, if I am applying for a new job in there then the salary should apply. I would be saving them on recruitment fees, training etc. I got a bump in the new job but I would go back to what I was on.

skallywag

If you left on good terms, performed well, and had a good overall relationship with your colleagues then you can of course always go back.

One of the questions which I am nearly always asked last when called to give a reference for a former employee is whether or not I would hire this person again, and I always give an answer which is genuine. We have had really great people leave in the past who I would have back in a second if I could.

It has also happened, we have had people come back when the far away hill turned out to be not as green as it looked.

OMM 0000

Ande1975 wrote: »

You do not know anything about my skills or the details of my situation. I rather go back than get a new one as I know I was happy there and I didn’t want to leave in the first place. Less of the judgement please. This is hard enough.

I'm not judging you. You came here asking for advice, you literally asked questions which I'm answering, and you're upset I'm not giving you the answer you want.

It looks good that someone wants to go back?

For those who went back, was there some embarrassment?

How did the employer react?

And I'm telling you people are going to judge you. "She can't get another job so she came back here", "She isn't able to work anywhere else", etc. I've seen this happen at a previous company I worked at.

You should do what's best for you. If you want to go back, you should go back. I don't know you so I don't care what you do.

Good luck.

mikep

I don't think leaving the job as described could be seen as weak, in fact it shows that you are unwilling to put up with crap like 12 hours days, stress and no work life balance.
If more people had the conviction to stand up to employers who are affecting the well being of their staff, and thus breaking the law, the less it would happen.
Often the best way to do this is by telling the employer that they are leaving for this exact reason!

If often tell people who whinge about their job to shut up if they aren't doing anything to change things...if you aren't willing to do something about it you have no one to blame but yourself.

OP your mental health is more important than the salary..Once you are back to somewhere that is less stressful you can get back on track and see what comes up in the future.
I dropped €12k+ improved bonus to go back to where I had left, it was worth it!

OMM 0000

mikep wrote: »

I don't think leaving the job as described could be seen as weak

It's not leaving the job that's seen as weak.

People leave jobs all the time.

It's the "she came running back" which is seen as weak.

A cynical person would see it as "she left, failed, and came running back".

A more "normal" thing to do would be to leave and find another new job. That's what 99% of people do.

We are not being kind to her if we pretend everyone will be high-fiving her and only thinking positive things about her return.

Again I'm not judging her. I don't know her. I'm just giving my opinion on the matter.

mikep

Some people might see it as weak..others will see it as sensible..

Staying in a job as described shouldn't be seen as "strong"..

I understand that some people will think in terms of weakness etc...that is their issue to deal with.

OMM 0000

mikep wrote: »

Some people might see it as weak..others will see it as sensible..

Staying in a job as described shouldn't be seen as "strong"..

I understand that some people will think in terms of weakness etc...that is their issue to deal with.

Yes, I agree.

She's going to have a mixed bag of reactions.

She needs to be prepared for the arseholes.

Ande1975

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Yes, I agree.

She's going to have a mixed bag of reactions.

She needs to be prepared for the arseholes.

I certainly haven't seen anyone who goes back to a job as weak. I'd love to know where you work OMM 0000 because you are the only person who sees it that way.
I went from a relatively small company to a very large multi national which is soulless.... If I get laughed at or sneered at for going back, I do not care as you say that will pass but staying here or moving to another soulless place is far more detrimental to my mental health. If you read some of the posts on this thread, I am not alone. Anyways I am not going to justify myself anymore.
Thanks Mikep !

OMM 0000

Ande1975 wrote: »

I certainly haven't seen anyone who goes back to a job as weak. I'd love to know where you work OMM 0000 because you are the only person who sees it that way.
I went from a relatively small company to a very large multi national which is soulless.... If I get laughed at or sneered at for going back, I do not care as you say that will pass but staying here or moving to another soulless place is far more detrimental to my mental health. If you read some of the posts on this thread, I am not alone. Anyways I am not going to justify myself anymore.
Thanks Mikep !

I worked in a company where a programmer left, his new job didn't work out, and then he came back.

I heard multiple people laughing / being bitchy about it.

Look believe whatever you want. You obviously only want to read answers which align with your world view.

Ande1975

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I worked in a company where a programmer left, his new job didn't work out, and then he came back.

I heard multiple people laughing / being bitchy about it.

Look believe whatever you want. You obviously only want to read answers which align with your world view.

Hey OMM 0000 we'll have to agree to disagree. If you have one example then sorry bud. I've read a few of your responses to threads on here and you lean on the negative side. I know my story so feel free not to post on here anymore. Its not that I only want to read answers that align with my world view, you are the only one with your world view. Most of the responses on this thread have been where I have and its worked out but since that doesn't align with your world view you choose to ignore them.

OMM 0000

Ande1975 wrote: »

Hey OMM 0000 we'll have to agree to disagree. If you have one example then sorry bud. I've read a few of your responses to threads on here and you lean on the negative side. I know my story so feel free not to post on here anymore. Its not that I only want to read answers that align with my world view, you are the only one with your world view. Most of the responses on this thread have been where I have and its worked out but since that doesn't align with your world view you choose to ignore them.

I'm not saying everyone will think you're weak. I'm saying some arseholes will, and you need to be prepared for that. You're lying to yourself if you think otherwise. Nothing good comes from that.

I'm only interested in speaking the truth and dealing with reality. Other people can focus on being supportive.

I should also point out I almost always try to take the employers angle on things, as I'm old, an employer, and have worked in management the past 10 years.

monkeysnapper

I know a guy that was in a company 18 years , he left on good terms and even trained guy up before he left to do his job .

His new job was a joke , they messed him around no end and it sounds just like your situation op ..

Anyway he started back there a few weeks after he quit job in a different role , they decided to find a compromise for why he left in first place and now hes happy out ...

I've known a few people down the years who went back to companies after things didnt work out ,,,, absolutely dont feel ashamed, and good luck op ...

Ande1975

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying everyone will think you're weak. I'm saying some arseholes will, and you need to be prepared for that. You're lying to yourself if you think otherwise. Nothing good comes from that.

I'm only interested in speaking the truth and dealing with reality. Other people can focus on being supportive.

I should also point out I almost always try to take the employers angle on things, as I'm old, an employer, and have worked in management the past 10 years.

I am probably older than you and have been in many senior management positions. Again I don't agree. Very myopic....

Thanks Monkeysnapper.... oops I'm liking a post that is aligned with my world view. OMM 0000 you are in the minority.

Ollibelo

Ande1975 wrote: »

I am probably older than you and have been in many senior management positions. Again I don't agree. Very myopic....

Thanks Monkeysnapper.... oops I'm liking a post that is aligned with my world view. OMM 0000 you are in the minority.

Hi there.
First post.

I'm in the same situation but a bit worse.
Knew the moment I walked into this job I'm now in, that this place is hell.

I'm still here.... Tried to get back to my old company...but new manager etc etc - new role, nothing back. I've considered it closed.

To make things worse, I've had a few problems in my current role... it's not good - quite bonkers. Gave notice and then retracted it.... And got the job back on certain terms....

I've a 2nd interview coming up and really anxious about keeping it all together and keeping from blurting out why I want to leave this role after less that a few months here.

I'm also stressed about handing in my notice also, if I get that far. Simply because of my previous behaviour.

Basically I'm a mess since I started this new place.

caviardreams

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying everyone will think you're weak. I'm saying some arseholes will, and you need to be prepared for that. You're lying to yourself if you think otherwise. Nothing good comes from that.

I'm only interested in speaking the truth and dealing with reality. Other people can focus on being supportive.

I should also point out I almost always try to take the employers angle on things, as I'm old, an employer, and have worked in management the past 10 years.

I have experienced the same as OMM, where some colleagues have thought/let slip at coffee break etc. "oh they couldn't manage at the new job so had to come running back". Just to be clear, like OMM, this is NOT a view I would ever have myself but I definitely have come across it in a couple of different places when it has happened.

I think OMM is just being helpful in highlighting that you may encounter this view from *some* people even if it is completely unfounded, so be prepared/know how to handle it etc. It was helpful advice imo.

Ande1975

Ollibelo wrote: »

Hi there.
First post.

I'm in the same situation but a bit worse.
Knew the moment I walked into this job I'm now in, that this place is hell.

I'm still here.... Tried to get back to my old company...but new manager etc etc - new role, nothing back. I've considered it closed.

To make things worse, I've had a few problems in my current role... it's not good - quite bonkers. Gave notice and then retracted it.... And got the job back on certain terms....

I've a 2nd interview coming up and really anxious about keeping it all together and keeping from blurting out why I want to leave this role after less that a few months here.

I'm also stressed about handing in my notice also, if I get that far. Simply because of my previous behaviour.

Basically I'm a mess since I started this new place.

Hi there, whatever you do don't burn any bridges. You can say that it wasn't a good fit for you and you are looking for a certain type of culture maybe.
No chance you can go back? Maybe apply for a new role if it comes up in there.
I know how you feel believe me! All the best to you

Ollibelo

Ande1975 wrote: »

Hi there, whatever you do don't burn any bridges. You can say that it wasn't a good fit for you and you are looking for a certain type of culture maybe.
No chance you can go back? Maybe apply for a new role if it comes up in there.
I know how you feel believe me! All the best to you

Ah I have applied for a new role but old boss is gone and I think that's why I'm not getting anything back. So I've considered that option closed and hence the 2nd round interview coming up.

I'm nervous about saying the wrong thing in this interview - I think I'll just bend the question to positive things, as hard as that is.

If I hand in my notice (again) in this current place, I wouldn't be surprised if I am told to get out. I've hated it so much (you wouldn't believe how messed up it is in there) that I've surprised myself with how badly I reacted.
I was lied to about the job in the interviews and left a perfectly good job with amazing colleagues, systems etc... I was told I'd have a certain role and it slowly turned out to be very untrue. Although I've a payrise, in this role, it's like I have the responsibilities of 4 recent grads - there's no brain work but loads of admin and chasing things around.
And the culture... Don't start me.

mikep

Ollibelo, if they ask you to go once you hand in your notice it's a win win for you as you are outta there and they have to pay you if you are giving notice as per your contract!
Best of luck!

seamus

Ande1975 wrote: »

Wirelessdude, how did you explain the 7 months in that company? I am wondering what (if I do manage to go back) to say in the future.

You be honest. "I left because although I wanted to stay with that company, there were no opportunities available to move forward. Of course, I had only left a few months and one of those opportunities came up, so I went for it."

OMM 0000 wrote: »

The first part is true (they want experienced employees) but it does not look good you want to go back. Leaving and then returning is generally seen as weak. That's not to say they won't take you back though. Good luck.

Only if you leave and then go back to the exact same role again on the same pay. You'll be regarded either as a flake who'll be gone again in 18 months, or too timid to ever leave again.

If you leave and then come back for a better position or better conditions (such as permanent -v- contract), it won't be seen as weak at all, quite the opposite.

Ande1975

Thanks Seamus, that's the plan. Fingers crossed!
There is so much i dotting and t crossing in this place it would make your head spin.

OMM 0000

seamus wrote: »

Only if you leave and then go back to the exact same role again on the same pay. You'll be regarded either as a flake who'll be gone again in 18 months, or too timid to ever leave again.

Yeah from her posts we can see she wants to go back to her old role but it's gone now (someone else is doing it) so she's waiting for something else to come up.

I agree if she goes back to a better role then that's a significantly better situation.

Giblet

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It's not leaving the job that's seen as weak.

People leave jobs all the time.

It's the "she came running back" which is seen as weak.

A cynical person would see it as "she left, failed, and came running back".

A more "normal" thing to do would be to leave and find another new job. That's what 99% of people do.

We are not being kind to her if we pretend everyone will be high-fiving her and only thinking positive things about her return.

Again I'm not judging her. I don't know her. I'm just giving my opinion on the matter.

I went back to my old job, because they gave me a **** ton of money. Hardly weak there?