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Child Item

Dad finds out that none of his kids are biologically his.

josip

Fcuking hell. As if being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis wasn't bad enough.

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-46827601/the-dad-who-found-out-he-wasn-t-his-kids-biological-father

Not all happy families, 2 of his sons aren't talking to him and have asked why he's making all this public.

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[Deleted User]

Mrsmum wrote: »

That's a rough deal. It's not really even about the money (as I'm sure he enjoyed being 'dad') but just the awful deceit of it.

the day of the divorce it was about the money for her i bet

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Why shouldn't every father and son have an absolute guarantee of their genetic identity, rather than having to rely on a third party to choose to provide it?

Looking at it in a dispassionate, theoretical way, it’s easy to say “What’s the problem?” but think about the ramifications within relationships. Like I said in another post, if my husband wanted to confirm paternity of his child, I would agree to it without hesitation. But let’s not pretend it wouldn’t leave questions hanging in the air. Asking for a paternity test is inextricably questioning the fidelity of the woman in the relationship. If you’ve never been unfaithful, that’s tough to swallow. Your character is being tested and questioned.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

While this is a very sad case, to say that he’s infertile from birth because of Cystic Fibrosis, is alarmist. He may be infertile, but not all CF sufferers are.

While CF women can be fertile, though not as fertile as non CF women, almost all(99%) CF men are infertile.

eagle eye

How on Earth would you not know?

Gimme A Pound

Avalyn Scarce Gear wrote: »

Typical emotional blackmail. It should be mandatory to DNA test both people involved to avoid these scenarios. Typical boards response though.

What? What do you mean "typical boards response"?

There are all types of responses here.

It shouldn't be deemed a problem if a woman doesn't like the idea of a system based on the mistrust of all women. How on earth is that emotional blackmail? And typical of whom?

Obviously men wouldn't like a system that mistrusts all of them. And with good reason. If a man has good cause to mistrust his partner, he should follow his gut instinct but mandatory?

It really shouldn't be difficult to see the issue with this.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Fiery mutant wrote: »

So a woman with no apparent talent of her own gets 4 million in divorce, just because she happened to marry someone who was an entrepreneur and a hard worker who would work his ass off to give his family a great life.

Said hard working man who spent his life busting his gut for his family, then finds his whole married life was a con, then only gets awarded €250k for his trouble.

What a ****ed up world we live in.

If she was there from before his wealth, her contribution to the relationship may have been deemed a big help in supporting him while he built up the business. I don’t know much about this guy so I don’t know if that’s the case. But it could be. Often spouses of people who become wealthy during the marriage get generous settlements because it’s recognised that they contributed in some way to that success. Keeping the domestic show on the road can be part of that.

Just pointing out that the divorce settlement and paternity fraud penalty are two separate issues.

nice_guy80

Should have shopped around and compared potential wives

Still though, what a bitch

Carlos Orange

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Imagine the government offering a service based on the premise that women are deceitful cheats. Nothing wrong with that at all. Nope

It's always funny watching some women get offended by the idea women aren't perfect on threads about this. It's pretty inevitable the government will be dna testing all kids at birth in a few years time. I think they already test for some inherited diseases based on family history and racial background.

0cp71eyxkb94qf

Yara Whining Threesome wrote: »

What? What do you mean "typical boards response"?

There are all types of responses here.

It shouldn't be deemed a problem if a woman doesn't like the idea of a system based on the mistrust of all women. How on earth is that emotional blackmail? And typical of whom?

Obviously men wouldn't like a system that mistrusts all of them. And with good reason. If a man has good cause to mistrust his partner, he should follow his gut instinct but mandatory?

It really shouldn't be difficult to see the issue with this.

You really love me don't you. Following me around like some love sick puppy.

There is no mistrust of women conspiracy here. What we are dealing with is a serious lack of respect for men who are embarking on parenthood which is a very serious long term commitment both financially and physically. This is certainly not the first case and it will not be the last. Now read what I said again slowly, just to ensure you don't go into another "leave da wimminz alone" meltdown mmmk?

suicide_circus

The term Nepotism derives from the word Nephew.

In days of yore, the only male relative a King could be 100% sure was of his bloodline was his sister's son.

His own son could be the result of infidelity on the part of his wife

His brother's son could be the result of infidelity on the part of his brother's wife.

josip

suicide_circus wrote: »

The term Nepotism derives from the word Nephew.

In days of yore, the only male relative a King could be 100% sure was of his bloodline was his sister's son.

His own son could be the result of infidelity on the part of his wife

His brother's son could be the result of infidelity on the part of his brother's wife.

How could the king be sure he and his sister had the same biological father?

Ultimate Seduction

Is it possible to find out if a child is yours without the mother knowing?

Mrsmum

As long as married men and women have affairs this will happen. But she must have known it was a 50/50 chance whether her husband or her lover was the father of her first child. To let it happen two more times is unforgivable really.

suicide_circus

josip wrote: »

How could the king be sure he and his sister had the same biological father?

good question, he couldn't, but this was as safe as he could be

suicide_circus

Mrsmum wrote: »

As long as married men and women have affairs this will happen.

not really. this will only happen if married women have affairs. hence the double standard on male/female chastity

Gimme A Pound

psinno wrote: »

It's always funny watching women get offended by the idea women aren't perfect on threads about this. It's pretty inevitable the government will be dna testing all kids at birth in a few years time. I think they already test for some inherited diseases based on family history and racial background.

But... she didn't say she had a problem with the idea that women aren't perfect.

Of course women aren't perfect - nobody is. Where did anyone indicate women are perfect?

There is a tendency by a minority to put words in women's mouths and completely misrepresent us in the latest few threads.

The issue that women have with it is exactly as outlined by Obvious Desperate Breakfasts - it is saying "i suspect that you have been unfaithful". It literally says that. If she has not been unfaithful of course it's sh1tty for her. Or it says "there are women who have done this - as you are also a woman I am suspicious of you".

It's not a difficult perspective to understand. Just put yourself in the shoes and consider something similar towards men.

RobbingBandit

Poor kids their lives must be turning upside down

suicide_circus

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Poor kids their lives must be turning upside down

yep. on the same day they discover their dad isn't their dad and their mam is a heartless bitch

greencap

how could you not test though?

id be at the maternity ward, test kit in hand.

push, push, thats it.

alright go stand over there for a minute.

Mirafiori

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Looking at it in a dispassionate, theoretical way, it’s easy to say “What’s the problem?” but think about the ramifications within relationships. Like I said in another post, if my husband wanted to confirm paternity of his child, I would agree to it without hesitation. But let’s not pretend it wouldn’t leave questions hanging in the air. Asking for a paternity test is inextricably questioning the fidelity of the woman in the relationship. If you’ve never been unfaithful, that’s tough to swallow. Your character is being tested and questioned.

In the end, it is children's rights and interests that are likely to prevail in the longer term, not the male or female parent. Perhaps there is enough reason to establish this for the sake of knowing about potential medical risks. If the information is known medically, what are the ethics of withholding it from the presumed father and the actual father?

strandroad

Yara Whining Threesome wrote: »

The issue that women have with it is exactly as outlined by Obvious Desperate Breakfasts - it is saying "i suspect that you have been unfaithful". It literally says that. If she has not been unfaithful of course it's sh1tty for her. Or it says "there are women who have done this - as you are also a woman I am suspicious of you".

It's not a difficult perspective to understand. Just put yourself in the shoes and consider something similar towards men.

Yeah imagine having to prove to your wife that you haven't fathered any other babies while with her; it happens quite often after all. Logistics aside, how many men would be happy to do that? And what would you think of the wives who want them to, and their entire relationships?

0cp71eyxkb94qf

Yara Whining Threesome wrote: »

There is a tendency by a minority to put words in women's mouths and completely misrepresent us in the latest few threads.

The irony. Most women I know would be agreeable to this as they believe in real fairness and equality. It's perfectly ok when all men get tarred as being potential rapists due to a couple of bad apples but no, a paternity test is completely out of the question.

ceadaoin.

Avalyn Scarce Gear wrote: »

The irony. Most women I know would be agreeable to this as they believe in real fairness and equality. It's perfectly ok when all men get tarred as being potential rapists due to a couple of bad apples but no, a paternity test is completely out of the question.

Ok well as I said earlier, should all males submit dna to a database so that when a rape occurs the culprit can be found? With the added bonus of identifying fathers. As someone else said, maybe the dna could be periodicly checked against births to ensure husband's aren't fathering children outside of marriage/relationships. Would you be ok with that since you are ok with all mothers having to prove that they arent deceiving their partners?

I don't see a problem with paternity tests if there are suspicions or probability the partner is not the father. To blanket assume all mothers are deceitful is wrong.

Gimme A Pound

Avalyn Scarce Gear wrote: »

The irony. Most women I know would be agreeable to this as they believe in real fairness and equality. It's perfectly ok when all men get tarred as being potential rapists due to a couple of bad apples but no, a paternity test is completely out of the question.

What? No it isn't perfectly ok for all men to be tarred as potential rapists obviously. Where has this been said or even implied by anyone here?

That's the words being put in the mouth that I was talking about. You keep doing it, what's the point?

Nobody would be ok with suspicion towards them for no reason or simply because of their sex. It has nothing to do with fairness or equality.

gctest50

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Ok well as I said earlier, should all males submit dna to a database so that when a rape occurs the culprit can be found? With the added bonus of identifying fathers. As someone else said, maybe the dna could be periodicly checked against births to ensure husband's aren't fathering children outside of marriage/relationships. Would you be ok with that since you are ok with all mothers having to prove that they arent deceiving their partners?

I don't see a problem with paternity tests if there are suspicions or probability the partner is not the father. To blanket assume all mothers are deceitful is wrong.

That and the other post looks like guilt n panic on behalf of others

eviltwin

I really feel for the poor guy, what a terrible thing to find put. I have to wonder though what he was thinking going to the press and making this public. Maybe he thought it was a good way to get back at his ex but it's pretty shabby treatment of the children. They have been just as deceived as he was and they don't need this in the public eye.

0cp71eyxkb94qf

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Ok well as I said earlier, should all males submit dna to a database so that when a rape occurs the culprit can be found? With the added bonus of identifying fathers. As someone else said, maybe the dna could be periodicly checked against births to ensure husband's aren't fathering children outside of marriage Would you be ok with that since you are ok with all mothers having to prove that they arent deceiving their partners?

I don't see a problem with paternity tests if there are suspicions or probability the partner is not the father. To blanket assume all mothers are deceitful is wrong.

Nobody has blanket assumed anything. You don't seem to care that men are getting into these scenarios because they done exactly as you have said, ie, blindly trusting their partner. It's all very well saying you should trust your partner if you love them but in the real world, everything isn't as rosey as that.

If you want to get into the messy territory of emotional blackmail then why shouldn't a man say, well if you love me then you'll allow for a DNA test to be performed to solidify me as a father. See that probably sounds as unthinkable to you as it does to me. Hence why they need to be mandatory to avoid emotional blackmail.

suicide_circus

eviltwin wrote: »

I really feel for the poor guy, what a terrible thing to find put. I have to wonder though what he was thinking going to the press and making this public. Maybe he thought it was a good way to get back at his ex but it's pretty shabby treatment of the children. They have been just as deceived as he was and they don't need this in the public eye.

he's probably blinded by rage and in the "they're not my kids anyway" stage. he may regret it later

Gimme A Pound

Avalyn Scarce Gear wrote: »

You really love me don't you. Following me around like some love sick puppy.

There is no mistrust of women conspiracy here. What we are dealing with is a serious lack of respect for men who are embarking on parenthood which is a very serious long term commitment both financially and physically. This is certainly not the first case and it will not be the last. Now read what I said again slowly, just to ensure you don't go into another "leave da wimminz alone" meltdown mmmk?

I'm just on the same threads as you - that's not the same as following.

Of course there is mistrust of women implied by this unless the man has good grounds for suspecting it. To be fair it's likely that's the only time it would happen.

But to endorse it being a practice just because she's a woman - how is that ok? It's not, as you demonstrated in your example. Although who with any sanity says all men are potential rapists.

Yeah this woman is a **** - no, other women shouldn't be viewed as potentially like her. This isn't a radical position like.

ceadaoin.

Avalyn Scarce Gear wrote: »

Nobody has blanket assumed anything. You don't seem to care that men are getting into these scenarios because they done exactly as you have said, ie, blindly trusting their partner. It's all very well saying you should trust your partner if you love them but in the real world, everything isn't as rosey as that.

If you want to get into the messy territory of emotional blackmail then why shouldn't a man say, well if you love me then you'll allow for a DNA test to be performed to solidify me as a father. See that probably sounds as unthinkable to you as it does to me. Hence why they need to be mandatory to avoid emotional blackmail.

On a practical level how would it even work? What would the cost be be? I'm sure some of the people advocating for this are the same who complain about their taxes going on dole scroungers or single mothers. This wouldn't be cheap and in the vast majority of cases, it's needless.

What is the potential for error, and if there are humans involved there will be errors on that many tests?

If you want to confirm your child is yours, you pay for it. Blanket testing of every child is pointless and leads to further questions re the government having a DNA database of every child.