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The worst Christmas Guest story

[Deleted User]

This just popped up on my facebook page.

Little Facebook competition for you all... who has the worst Christmas Guest story? I’ll start with 2 strong competitors and am happy to bet no one will top me...
Contender No.1: an older relative was observed going to my cutlery drawer and removing first a tea spoon and then a dessert spoon and using them to shoe horn their feet into a shoe... and then put them back in the drawer WITHOUT EVEN RINSING THEM....
Contender No.2 a guest on leaving our house was observed on our CCTV purposely pissing in my driveway over Zack’s moped...
Am beside myself with excitement to see who visits at New Year

Nothing bad to report here, except for the dog being sick.

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wally1990

_Brian wrote: »

My BIL is banned from the house now but was an awful guest.

Banana skins down the sides of chairs
Youghert cartons behind the bed headboard.
Kept his fishing maggots in our fridge.

One Christmas they were staying and we had my family over for cards in the evening. He decides to drive across the lawn in December and got his car bogged down completely and ripped the shiit of the lawn, needed six men to push him out.

In the end I said he wasn’t welcome any more as he had no respect.

How old is this person ?

duffysfarm

Well spotted and was a typo by me.....

antodeco wrote: »

Is that not YOUR father?

goat2

_Brian wrote: »

My BIL is banned from the house now but was an awful guest.

Banana skins down the sides of chairs
Youghert cartons behind the bed headboard.
Kept his fishing maggots in our fridge.

One Christmas they were staying and we had my family over for cards in the evening. He decides to drive across the lawn in December and got his car bogged down completely and ripped the shiit of the lawn, needed six men to push him out.

In the end I said he wasn’t welcome any more as he had no respect.

He sounds like a nightmare to have around

Sardonicat

Wait, there's porn on Netflix? !

duffysfarm

Not hard-core porn but definitely some films which are that way inclined. Try the film "love" on it. Has a good first 5 mins or so ( so I heard....)

Sardonicat wrote: »

Wait, there's porn on Netflix? !

robindch

The extended family has an elderly lady, Popette, who's a religious fundamentalist - Latin mass, homophobic, transphobic, anti-islamic, anti-semitic, stacks of anti-abortion leaflets, strong narcissist tendencies and all the rest. Very strong on the sanctity of marriage, especially in front of her husband, a decent, kind man who - were there justice within the Vatican - would be up for sainthood.

Anyway, I was speaking with one of Popette's kids the other day and it seems that she has this friend, another elderly, dreary, paranoid fundamentalist - let's call him The Rat - whose missus is divorcing him after she successfully took out a barring order against him for reasons unknown. The Rat now has no home to go to other than the gloomy religious commune they both support. So, having received information from the hereafter that the world will be ending next year (again), Popette rings her eldest son and says that she and hubby will be coming to Dublin to spend their last christmas together with their family. She also explains that The Rat will be coming too. The extended family, yours truly included, has told Popette that The Rat will not be invited to any social events with the family, so the son is wondering if Popette has forgotten about this. But then another thought occurs:

Son: Have you asked dad if he is comfortable with XXX coming along? You know he does not like XXX and does not like staying in the same place as him.
Popette: Now, he's not completely happy.
Son: Have you asked him?
Popette: I'll go and ask him now (puts down the telephone and stomps over to hubby in the background)
Popette: Are you happy with XXX coming to Dublin with us for Christmas? If you are not happy, then I will stay here with XXX and you can go off to Dublin on your own.
Popette's hubby: Huh? What on earth are you talking about?
Popette: (stomps back to the phone again) Now look what you've done, you've gone and upset your father now. You're always stirring the pot!

Anyway, Popette hangs up then rang the son back a little later to explain that she and hubby will not be coming to Dublin for christmas after all and instead, they'll spend it together with The Rat at their place down the country.

Toots

My parents still tell about the time an old friend of theirs showed up at their door on Stephen's night unannounced (this was back in the 80s) it was their first Christmas married. He lived down the country, so they were a bit confused as to how the dude (let’s call him Tom) got there, because he hadn't driven and there was no bus. Anyhoo, they invite Tom in and give him a bit of dinner, etc. He gets stuck into the drink, and it appeared that he had already had a good few before he arrived.

The night wears on and he shows no signs of getting ready to go. Meanwhile, he's finished all the cans of Guinness Dad had in for Christmas, and is making steady progress through the bottle of Christmas brandy. It's getting pretty late and he's had so much drink, they're concerned about sending him off out to find his own way back to wherever he's staying, so my Mum offers to make up the spare bed for him, he accepts, and while he's doing that, Dad goes into the kitchen and whips up a few sambos and a pot of coffee.

Tom wolfs down the sambos, declines the coffee, but enquires as to whether or not there's a glass of Creme de Menthe available. Dad says they haven't got any (they had, but at this stage the dude was apparently reeking of drink to the point that they were getting nervous about having him sitting near a naked flame)

They all head up to bed, and a while later, my parents are wakened by noise coming from downstairs. Dad goes to investigate and finds Tom pulling all the pots and pans out of the kitchen cupboards. He tells my Dad that he's looking for the chip pan, because he's making chips for all of them (at this point my Dad notices that there are potato peelings everywhere, and a massive pile of cut-up-potatoes sitting beside the cooker, all set to be fried. Dad eventually convinces him that 3am isn't the best time to be cooking chips, and gets him back up to bed. Dad chucks the potato peelings and "chips" out, tidies away the pots, and heads back to bed himself.

They wake up the next morning and Mum goes down and sticks on a fry, expecting that the delicious aroma will entice Tom down. No such luck, and by about 12, he still hasn't appeared and Mum was getting a bit concerned about whether he was ok. Dad was more of the impression that he was just sleeping one off, but he went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door, and got no response. Eventually he opened the door and was simultaneously greeted with a wall of heat and a stench of piss. The "guest" was nowhere to be seen.

They never found out exactly where he went, but basically he had obviously pissed himself at some point during the night, like absolutely drenched the place, and on waking up and realising what had happened, decided to bail. But not before helpfully stripping the bed, and hanging the piss soaked sheet over the radiator and turning it up as high as it would go. Such was the volume of pee, that it had gone through the mattress and between the slats on the bed, wetting the carpet underneath. The sheets had to be binned and the mattress brought to the tip. They also couldn't get the smell and stain out of the carpet. Luckily, they had an off-cut in the attic, so they were able to cut out a piece and use the spare bit to replace it.

They were still wondering how he had gotten there and where he had disappeared to after quite literally blasting the place with piss, but they didn’t have to wait long to find out. On New Year’s Eve they went to a party at another mutual friend’s house, and while chatting to him, Dad said something like “Jesus, you won’t believe who arrived on our doorstep on Stephen’s night!”, the friend instantly goes “was it Tom?” and when my parents asked how they knew, their friend explained that he had invited Tom to stay with them for a couple of days over the Christmas, not realising how fond of the drink he had become in recent years. Apparently Christmas Eve was alright, he was a bit tipsy but nothing to write home about. However, Christmas night, he was absolutely sh1tfaced, and not only did he wet his own bed, he also must have gotten lost on his way to the bathroom because he’d pissed in their daughter’s wardrobe, too. Understandably, the friend and his wife were not impressed, and they asked Tom to leave the following morning. They don’t know where he spent the day (probably the pub) and then he either got a lift or walked to my parents’ house that night. Nobody knew where he headed after the night in my parents. Presumably some other poor unfortunates took him in for the night and either had their house burned down or woke to find it soaked in piss the following morning.

[Deleted User]

robindch wrote: »

The extended family has an elderly lady, Popette, who's a religious fundamentalist - Latin mass, homophobic, transphobic, anti-islamic, anti-semitic, stacks of anti-abortion leaflets, strong narcissist tendencies and all the rest. Very strong on the sanctity of marriage, especially in front of her husband, a decent, kind man who - were there justice within the Vatican - would be up for sainthood.

Anyway, I was speaking with one of Popette's kids the other day and it seems that she has this friend, another elderly, dreary, paranoid fundamentalist - let's call him The Rat - whose missus is divorcing him after she successfully took out a barring order against him for reasons unknown. The Rat now has no home to go to other than the gloomy religious commune they both support. So, having received information from the hereafter that the world will be ending next year (again), Popette rings her eldest son and says that she and hubby will be coming to Dublin to spend their last christmas together with their family. She also explains that The Rat will be coming too. The extended family, yours truly included, has told Popette that The Rat will not be invited to any social events with the family, so the son is wondering if Popette has forgotten about this. But then another thought occurs:

Son: Have you asked dad if he is comfortable with XXX coming along? You know he does not like XXX and does not like staying in the same place as him.
Popette: Now, he's not completely happy.
Son: Have you asked him?
Popette: I'll go and ask him now (puts down the telephone and stomps over to hubby in the background)
Popette: Are you happy with XXX coming to Dublin with us for Christmas? If you are not happy, then I will stay here with XXX and you can go off to Dublin on your own.
Popette's hubby: Huh? What on earth are you talking about?
Popette: (stomps back to the phone again) Now look what you've done, you've gone and upset your father now. You're always stirring the pot!

Anyway, Popette hangs up then rang the son back a little later to explain that she and hubby will not be coming to Dublin for christmas after all and instead, they'll spend it together with The Rat at their place down the country.

Would he get excused if he done her in!

robindch

Deleted User wrote: »

Would he get excused if he done her in!

I reckon the immediate family would be more in favour of simple divorce or living separately - a lot of Popette's behaviour matches most of what's listed on the HSE's description of psychological abuse and even kids have been asking pointed questions:

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/elder_abuse.html

Capt'n Midnight

Gannicus wrote: »

Sounds like itinerants to me.

They were only there to sign on, even though Joe was working as a chippie back home.