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Fear is the key

juke

I want to run a marathon before I’m 50 :eek:

I have a few years yet, but, just in case, I’m starting now.

I also have very clear ideas on a time I'd like to do it in - but not being a runner, only time will tell what's even vaguely achievable.

This log is all about accountability. The fear of not hitting my goal time time may just drive me on.

My target is to run a half marathon this year and DCM next year. I have a huge amount of work and running to do if I have any hope of achieving either of those. 21k this year is a lot for me, when the most I’ve probably ever done is 10.

I have had lower back problems (slipped disc, sciatica) in the past. That said I’m now strong and reasonably fit. I lift weights three times a week. Gym work will continue for the foreseeable, but I guess will naturally have to taper off as the miles start to build.

My non-plan right now is to run Sunday (and Thursday, work permitting), just slowly building up the miles and hope that speed will come. I am susceptible to getting bogged down in comparing time/numbers, so I’m trying to just enjoy getting out and running off effort. I will probably do a park run in a few weeks and then get help on a real plan.

Week 13-19 Feb
Monday – Leg day
Wednesday – Push day
Saturday – Pull day
Sunday – 7k, Marlay Park.
It was very busy, nearly got spliced by a wayward car door opening in the car park. Got one or two few funny looks and once I got home I realised I’d worked a bit too hard on my colour scheme - my face was the same colour as my top, this

:pac:

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Huzzah!

juke wrote: »

Tired and emotional, but proud as heck :cool:

Loved this report. It really painted a vivid picture.

You looked really strong coming through Milltown. Such a pity about your feet; still, a fantastic debut and you're right be proud as heck.

Congratulations!

ariana`

Super report Juke! And a mighty fine run - you should be very proud!

ariana`

Super report Juke! And a mighty fine run - you should be very proud!

Pomplamousse

Big congratulations and great report. I hope your feet are feeling better!

Sunny Dayz

Great race report Juke, congrats on doing the marathon. By the sounds of it you had to dig deep but you got there, you should be very proud. Hope your feet are on the mend. Happy birthday also.

juke

I've been off this forum for a while. Reading logs would make me feel guilty. Procastinating. I'm good at this - I just stopped reading them

Updating this log mean facing some thoughts I don’t really want to address. because I’m afraid of the answer. I’m afraid of the disappointment.

What am I now, anyway?
Runner?
Ex novice?
Graduate?
Delinquent sailor (to my OH’s disgust, that ain’t changing any time soon, developed a completely irrational ‘fear’ a couple of years ago)?
Powerlifter?
Worse, damaged (aka one handed) powerlifter?
Any of the above?

Post DCM, I had to take one week off completely - on account of not being able to put anything but flipflops on one foot. I won’t go into any further details :eek:

Since then, I’m back running & going to the gym, just a few easy runs ranging from 15-130 minutes, the short runs on a treadmill before gym weights sessions (light weights, high volume) twice a week and the longer runs in the park at weekends.

I love the runs, they give me a peaceful headspace with no pressure to do x amount of miles regardless of time constraints or tiredness. Heart rate has been nice and low. Twisted my knee last Sunday and cut the run short, but otherwise the body is fine.

Why am I a procrastinating:
I hurt my back/shoulder in June - end result being nerve damage to my left arm caused by disc stenosis. Pain is completely gone, but I now lack strength in my left hand and still have pins and needles in 2 fingers. Last time I tested (pre DCM), grip-strength was only about 80% with a wrist strap.

I love lifting heavy weights. I get such a buzz. If my grip doesn’t improve, I really won’t know what to do with myself. I’m am terrified at the thought. Gym-coachy is, as always, completely positive. It will be a few weeks before I know how I stand. I have to build the weight up again after so long, before I know. Longer still before I get any idea if the weakness is permanent.

So anyway, I made a plan. Nothing like a bit of distraction. I downloaded the graduates plan. No races until next year. Absolutely happy with this decision. Let’s get back to some decent lifting. Mmmn, what if that goes south…..

Re-drew the plan, pretty colours. Again no racing until next year. Very happy.

Then I accidentally entered Jingle Bells

The Plan
2 days x Gym, short easy treadmill run before each. Steadily try get back to lifting reasonable weights.
3 x Runs - following the graduates base building plan, specifically the 2 sessions and 1 long run.

Is this wise - effectively 5 mid-hard days per week?
I have been reading some of the older graduates threads. I selectively picked a single post in an old thread where the mentor advised one graduate with a very specific training goal and arbitrarily decided I can apply that specific advice to me, irrespective that the goals don’t match. (Let’s not dwell on the fact that my bread and butter day-in day-out is knowing you have to treat each and every set of circumstances differently, depending on their own facts.)

We’ll see how it goes.

Now I have a lot of posts to catch up on...

eyrie

You're baaaack!
Good stuff, and good to hear you're getting back into things. You've had a lot to contend with so I wouldn't worry about the labels for now.

As for the plan and scheduling, I'd say you know much more than I do but I have always heard that if you're combining lifting with running the concept of 'hard days hard, easy days easy' applies, so where possible you do lifting on the same day as harder runs (with a gap maybe), and keep some days just for recovery/easy stuff. Though I don't know, if the lifting is your main thing it's probably different.

juke wrote: »

Re-drew the plan, pretty colours.

If Huzzah! has taught me anything, it's that creating excel spreadsheets with pretty colours is the key to life

Huzzah!

Yay. I love this log. Good to have you back

Fingers and toes crossed the strength comes back.

eyrie wrote: »

As for the plan and scheduling, I'd say you know much more than I do but I have always heard that if you're combining lifting with running the concept of 'hard days hard, easy days easy' applies, so where possible you do lifting on the same day as harder runs (with a gap maybe), and keep some days just for recovery/easy stuff. Though I don't know, if the lifting is your main thing it's probably different.

I've no idea either, but I try to do Pilates on session days in line with the hard days hard, easy days easy mantra. I'd be inclined to maybe keep it to one session and the long run and everything else easy, but that's not based on any knowledge, just a gut feeling. The Grads Plan is also sort of designed so that you're running your long run on tiredish legs.

eyrie wrote: »

If Huzzah! has taught me anything, it's that creating excel spreadsheets with pretty colours is the key to life

If only it was the key to life, I'd be winning!

juke

Thanks guys. I think it will be a case of learning as I go along. I will try to be sensible, though.

Maybe 1 session, 1 easy and 1 long will be best for now. There has to be a solutions to this 'want' to both run and lift.

Sun 25: 60 min progression, 7.9k HR ave 147 max 183
Wasn’t really sure how to approach this. Decided to try increasing the paces in 15 min blocks. (OO- endorsed this strategy, so I am clearly a natural

). This worked in principal, but the splits were far from steady.

Mon 26: Gym weights (deads, floor press, rdl’s, 1 arm row, shoulder press, triceps) followed by 20 min rec. on treadmill (2.7k)
Tues 27: rest

Wed 28: 20 min rec. on treadmill (2.7k) followed by gym (squats, incline bench, straight leg deads, overhead press, lat pull-down, biceps)

Thu 29: 40min, 10x100m AH, cooldown, 7.5k, HR ave 134 max 187. Most sprints were way too fast, couldn’t see my watch properly in the dark, couldn’t remember how to set it to keep the backlight on. I also need to get to grips with running in the dark. There can't be lunatics or dogs at every corner.

Fri 30: Rest

juke

Sat 1: Jingle Bells, 29:22 PB, Flying mile, 8:39.

My last 5k, a parkrun (in March, pre DCM training) was 31:32. My previous PB was March ‘11, (30.02). A lot has happened between now and then. This was during my first foray into running, a couple of months before a disk slipped in my back requiring 6 weeks bed rest and injections and then my step into powerlifting a couple of years later.

I parked strategically near the visitor centre (toilets & suitable warm-up distance for my pace). My goal was sub 30, but I had no idea really, so I figured to aim for 6 min k’s and any slowness at the start would be picked up on the downhill.

That’s pretty much what happened. I placed myself well back (just ahead of the walkers sign). I shouldn’t have bothered. Once the race started, trying to manoeuvre around groups of walkers 4 and 5 abreast was frustrating.

Starting that far back did mean I was mainly passing other people though, and I distracted myself with the various christmassy outfits. I was under pressure for most of the race, but I really tried to up the pace for the last k. My stomach reacted badly. As I approached the line, I was breathing heavily, feeling lightheaded, couldn’t read my watch and was beginning to think my 8.30am breakfast wasn’t going to stay down. I wasn’t sure I’d even make it over the line. There were barriers either side, no-where to hide, I had to go across the line, and I did and I ran straight for a gap in the fence where I dashed to dry heave on the grass, feeling like a bit of a fraud.

Splits 6.25, 6.06, 5.56, 5.28, 5.20, HR ave 166 max 178.

I thoroughly enjoyed the race, organisation, atmosphere.

Now I have new training times, so looking forward to proper base building.

Sun 2: Plan was an easy run, but Rest

Pomplamousse

Our jingle bells finishes sound remarkably similar. Such a horrible feeling wanting to vomit but you're running towards a crowd of people and there's nowhere to hide:o You did better than me at keeping it down:o:o
Congrats on your PB!

Kellygirl

Congrats on the pb. Very well done.

Huzzah!

juke wrote: »

I thoroughly enjoyed the race, organisation, atmosphere.

You ain't no fraud. Congrats on the PB. Sub 30 was a special one for me. Nice start to your graduate "career"

Wubble Wubble

40 second PB, get in! Nothing wrong with that. Plenty more to come.

Sunny Dayz

Congrats on a great pb! Your km splits are beautiful!

ariana`

Brilliant pb. I have some experiencing of dry retching like that - it's not pleasant but you persevered on well done, great result and more to come i'd say!

aloooof

Great stuff on the PB, getting in well under sub-30, well done!

OOnegative

Well done J, great racing!! As has been said, more to come off that time.

eyrie

Wooooop, go you! PB and sub-30 with plenty to spare, very nicely done.

juke wrote: »

I ran straight for a gap in the fence where I dashed to dry heave on the grass, feeling like a bit of a fraud.

Definitely not a fraud. In some circles feeling like that at the end of a 5k is considered a badge of honour

At least you can be sure you didn't shy away from the fight.

skyblue46

Great running. That 4th km took a huge effort as it wasn't hugely downhill, it was pretty flat. You definitely gave it everything. Well done.

KyCoo

Actually, it's true. Fear keeps us on the run. Without fear of something, we cannot achieve what we want.

juke

Kellygirl wrote: »

Congrats on the pb. Very well done.

Huzzah! wrote: »

You ain't no fraud. Congrats on the PB. Sub 30 was a special one for me. Nice start to your graduate "career"

Wubble Wubble wrote: »

40 second PB, get in! Nothing wrong with that. Plenty more to come.

aloooof wrote: »

Great stuff on the PB, getting in well under sub-30, well done!

OOnegative wrote: »

Well done J, great racing!! As has been said, more to come off that time.

Thanks all.

Sunny Dayz wrote: »

Congrats on a great pb! Your km splits are beautiful!

In fairness, the course profile helped.

ariana` wrote: »

Brilliant pb. I have some experiencing of dry retching like that - it's not pleasant but you persevered on well done, great result and more to come i'd say!

eyrie wrote: »

Wooooop, go you! PB and sub-30 with plenty to spare, very nicely done.
Definitely not a fraud. In some circles feeling like that at the end of a 5k is considered a badge of honour At least you can be sure you didn't shy away from the fight.

I can see the experience actually holding me back

skyblue46 wrote: »

Great running. That 4th km took a huge effort as it wasn't hugely downhill, it was pretty flat. You definitely gave it everything. Well done.

I will be honest and admit I didn't analyse the course, I just assumed the second half was net downhill and went as hard as I could. Not the best preparation :pac:

As to feeling like a fraud - it's not that I didn't put in the effort or really feel the pressure, I did. I know I did my best.

But I didn't really feel like I had a right to have such a physical reaction, when so many are so, so much faster. I'm not looking for praise, endorsement, anything, just expressing (rightly or wrongly) what goes on in my head. I hope I'll always be my own worst critic and it will drive me onwards.

eyrie

juke wrote: »

But I didn't really feel like I had a right to have such a physical reaction, when so many are so, so much faster. I'm not looking for praise, endorsement, anything, just expressing (rightly or wrongly) what goes on in my head. I hope I'll always be my own worst critic and it will drive me onwards.

Oh but I've always thought (though I know less than nothing about biology, so take my opinion and do with it what you will :pac:) that the physical reaction is to do with the relative effort put in, not at all to do with actual speed. So anyone, at any speed, is as likely to have it as anyone else if they're working that hard. Hence getting yourself to that point and hanging on means you're tough as nails, speed ain't got nothing to do with it

aloooof

juke wrote: »

As to feeling like a fraud - it's not that I didn't put in the effort or really feel the pressure, I did. I know I did my best.

But I didn't really feel like I had a right to have such a physical reaction, when so many are so, so much faster.

What I sometimes tell myself (to butcher a famous quote) is that I'm not racing against my fellow runner, I'm racing my former self. And left your former self for dust, hung in there when the going got tough and PB'd! Far from being a fraud, that's something to be proud of!

Mr. Guappa

Great stuff at JB last week, well done!

juke

So, it's been a while.

With the run up to Christmas, then Christmas (skiing as usual), more knee pain (from the skiing), then back to work depression, knee rehab, odd run & very odd gym, then girl ‘flu ... brings me to:

Last week, I saw a physical therapist who was super positive. The C7 stenosis has left residual nerve damage in my arm & hand, still affecting my grip (left side, left hand). No exercise is ruled out unless it aggravates it. She gave me a reminder about forgotten (or blanked-out

) nerve flossing. She also said I have to keep up my knee exercises, particularly.

My decision now is to start a 12-13 week weight training programme coupled with starting Base Building (my butchered version) again, training times based on my Jingle Bells 5k.

On balance the emphasis will be on weights, so I’ve no real business being here, but I have nowhere else suitable to go :P

I’ll probably target a short race early March, eg Lusk 4 mile.

So week 1 of base building:

Monday 21: 20 min easy, 1 hour weights.

Tuesday 22: Rest

Wednesday 23: 20 min very easy, 1 hour weights.

Thursday 24: Plan 60 min Progression (8:15-6:45)
Actual: 53 Min, HR, ave 154, Max 182
This started ok, managed the progression reasonably ok - until about 40 minutes in, and a nagging ache in my lower back wouldn’t be ignored, it affected my speed, my heartrate spiked and I cut the run short. I think it’s just from lack of running (ok and maybe the gym last night).

Friday 25: rest

Saturday 26: 40 min easy + 10x100m strides (AP with full recovery)
HR, ave 142, Max 188 (from avoiding a wayward dog on cooldown)
I really tried to stick to the pacing and I think I managed this reasonably ok, - although I realised on the first split that any splits I had done for DCM training were waaaay too fast! :pac:

Sunday 27: 90 min easy
10.94k @ 8:16, HR, ave 141, Max 172, Cold and windy, enjoyable, but my ankles began to hurt on the incline home, like they are swollen again. I am refusing to accept another kankle episode.

A low 30k for the week

Feeling really positive, off now for 'afternoon tea' to undo all my good work.

juke

Base building week 2

Monday 28: 20 min v easy @ 8:31, HR, ave 128, Max 156, 1 hour weights.

Tuesday 29: Rest

Wednesday 30: No run. 55 min weights. Tough session.

Thursday 31: 45 min moderate & short cool down - windy sleety evening, needed a bit of a talking to before I went out. So glad I did. I won’t say I enjoyed it, but I felt great after.
6.7k @ 7.33, HR, ave 145, Max 174

Friday 1: Rest

Saturday 2: 45 min easy (last 5 min @ Threshold)
6.8k, HR, ave 140, Max 164
Struggled with this, was running too fast for the easy and too slow for the threshold.

Sunday 3: 90 min easy
11k @ 8:19 HR, ave 143, Max 173, cold & damp, picked a known loop, but did it in reverse - and took a wrong turn. Things look different in reverse

28k for the week. Max heart rate was high on occasion - but I ran up my hill (0.5k) to home at the end of my runs sometimes. Not really cool down technique, I guess, but it's cold

Applegirl26

Well done on finishing week 2 J. There's no stopping you now!

juke

Applegirl26 wrote: »

Well done on finishing week 2 J. There's no stopping you now!

Thanks - the routine helps a lot!

gypsylee

A good week's running J, having a plan to follow definitely helps.