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Child Item

who do women dress for?

Roger Hassenforder

This beauty was in the letters section of D'Paper today (dont judge me, long day, very bored)

"It may come as some surprise, but women actually dont always dress to impress men, sorry guys, its not all about you"
Eve, Dublin 8

Seeing as most men i know would describe their wife/girlfriend/partner etc. as having worn "something kinda black", or "a red dress thing", and if pushed wouldn't really care what she wore as long as she was happy and looked nice. I'm at a loss as to this presumption.

Only recently i discovered a skirt is actually different from a dress.

I always assumed women "dress" for themselves, make themselves look nice, for themselves.
I certainly never assumed it was for a man.
(If in the context of the Thong/rape thread , thats over there>>)

Have i got this arsëwisë?

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hatrickpatrick

Shelli2 wrote: »

Who do men dress for?

I would say that when it comes to appearance in general, most of us only put thought into it from the angle of "will this make me more attractive / likely to get hit on". Of course there are always exceptions, but certainly among young lads I know, getting big in the gym or wearing colourful shirts etc on nights out is about getting more attention from the attracted-to gender in order to increase both confidence and the chances of getting a shift. Obviously there are fashionista lads and there are lads who dress for the sake of impressing business folk and so on, but if most of us are honest, it's about wanting to get more sexual attention. Not necessarily more sex, just sexual attention.

Franz Von Peppercorn

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I would say that when it comes to appearance in general, most of us only put thought into it from the angle of "will this make me more attractive / likely to get hit on". Of course there are always exceptions, but certainly among young lads I know, getting big in the gym or wearing colourful shirts etc on nights out is about getting more attention from the attracted-to gender in order to increase both confidence and the chances of getting a shift. Obviously there are fashionista lads and there are lads who dress for the sake of impressing business folk and so on, but if most of us are honest, it's about wanting to get more sexual attention. Not necessarily more sex, just sexual attention.

That’s specific to one small demographic and one particular scene. How do you explain well dressed old folk?

Some people don’t care, others just want to look good.

One eyed Jack

Shelli2 wrote: »

Who do men dress for?

Do all women have this hive mind that I'm somehow being left out of? How do I apply to be part of the collective? What will happen to me if I don't fall into line?

Men tend to dress for other people’s benefit too. Nobody wants to see me walking around bollock naked for example (no, really, they don’t! :pac:), so I wear clothes to cover my body and spare other people the visuals. I dress as well as I can, to look as good as I can, in the hope that other people perceive me to be a conscientious person who takes pride in their appearance.

I have trouble instilling these values in my son however who is a teenager and doesn’t yet understand the value in having consideration for other people. I understand though at the same time that he is a teenager and doesn’t yet understand the importance of taking pride in his appearance.

hatrickpatrick

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

That’s specific to one small demographic and one particular scene. How do you explain well dressed old folk?

Some people don’t care, others just want to look good.

Absolutely, but I think when the debate centres around women dressing up sexy on the "going out" scene and whether this is for lads or for themselves, that's exactly the demographic this conversation tends to be aimed at and relevant to.

Mrsmum

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

If I were to say that I, as a lad in his late twenties, pretty much only thinks about "will this make me more likely to get hit on when I go out clubbing on Saturday" when I'm working out or deciding what outfit to wear before the aforementioned sesh, would this come as a big surprise?

Again, I know that women don't think this way, but in my view it's not surprising that some lads assume that their approach to these things is mirrored in the opposite sex. Generally, men and women behave different in these instances, but projecting one's own worldview and assuming it's a universal thing is a fairly standard human trait. I don't see it as malicious or inherently offensive, it's just the classic "I see a candlestick, there's no way anyone could see it as two faces" issue of human bias.

Well I guess both sexes are hoping to attract the opposite sex on a typical Saturday night out. (Of course I mean single people here. Those days are behind me. ) The most colourful flower attracts the bees and butterflies type of thing. So even though we say we are not dressing for the opposite sex, consciously or unconsciously I suppose we might be more than we think we are on such a night out. Personally I think looking fantastic on a night out gives one a feeling of power and confidence.

Zorya

I have always had an odd sense of style, even as a kid, it would have been great to have been around when dresses were long and flowing and heavily embroidered, where shawls, draped scarves and gorgeous hooded capes were the thing, I would have loved that. I love expensive fabrics, finely made clothes and beautiful things but seen as I haven't ever had a penny to my name, I pay homage to a very watered down, second hand store version of flowing and yet comfortable and practical enough to work in the garden. So, I guess I dress for no one except myself. Himself likes it, says why would you have to be like anyone else, and since he is the one who sees me most, that's cool.

Today I sat in my car on the main street of local town waiting for the bank to open after lunch and therefore saw a stream of school girls going past. Madre de Dios, beautiful girls but the backsides of their uniform trousers must have to be removed with paint strimmer every night. Must be some special kind of material that can bond so tightly to flesh. The poor fellas must be driven insane.

retro:electro

Chewbacca wrote: »

Women dress for other women.

100%. I’ve loads of clothes that my boyfriend doesn’t like or “get”, but bits that my friends adore and I’d value their opinion over his any day. If he told me my outfit was shlte I’d be like it’s fashun darling get with it. If my friends told me I looked shlte I’d probably change.

Ray Palmer

Chewbacca wrote: »

Women dress for other women.

and gay men.

You can't help but notice gay men are a huge section of the fashion industry basically deciding what is fashionable.

tonycascarino

I don't believe for one bit that the majority of women dress for other women. Do you think when a man goes out and gets dressed up that he is doing it to impress other men?

corks finest

Themselves of course,at least my daughter's do

mvl

Can't agree with the women dress for other women part, doesn't work for me.

1. I would dress for me in first place (with variations, when I would even dress to feel better, or might be dressing for confidence in a professional context).
2. I would dress for the man I am attracted to, and it doesn't need to be during a date I have with him - it can be just anywhere I know he'd be leering at me.

mohawk

If we are talking nights out unless I am on a date with the other half I am not dressing to impress men and that is for one man.
If it’s a girls night no way I want to be less dressed up then the rest of the group. I will wear what looks good on.

One eyed Jack

Bronze Melon wrote: »

It must be a coincidence that so many women like to accentuate bodyparts such as breasts and glutes which just so happen to be key drivers of attraction for men.

It’s definitely a coincidence based upon your assumptions about other people. Nice eyes do more for me when I meet someone, than the parts from the neck down which I’m not particularly focused on.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Yeah I definitely dress for other women if I'm getting dressed up or if I put any thought into it on a regular day. I have clothes that would frighten some men like. For date night or something I'd dress to look nice for himself but he doesn't tend to verbalise a reaction beyond "you look lovely!".

I think the reaction of "hey men guess what we don't always wear stuff with you in mind" comes from the sheer volume of unsolicited male opinion on female fashion that almost always boils down to "WHY IS SHE WEARING THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO FCUK HER?!?!?!"

Straight men's very important opinions that must be heard about lesbians' haircuts is a particular favourite trope of mine :pac:

VanGogh18

Irish women don't put any effort into their appearance

Roger Hassenforder

One eyed Jack wrote: »

It’s definitely a coincidence based upon your assumptions about other people. Nice eyes do more for me when I meet someone, than the parts from the neck down which I’m not particularly focused on.

I have to say, i do like a nice ear and neck under a shiny swishy ponytail, on a slim woman.

(Not a bit creepy)

Mrsmum

VanGogh18 wrote: »

Irish women don't put any effort into their appearance

I'm wondering by that do you mean they don't dress in skirts and heels or some such way to show off curves etc ?? I'll tell you the truth from my pov that kind of dressing attracts attention which is great if you're looking to meet someone but outside that can be a total nuisance. I mean you not only get attention from fanciable men but from ould fellas, creepy fellas, sleezy fellas etc. I think that's what the girl meant when she said we mostly don't dress with men in mind.

The Rape of Lucretia

Women dress to attract a man. They like the approval other women give them on how they dress, but only in that it reinforces that they are suitably dressed to attract men, and that they are more attractive than other women involved in the same competition.

The Rape of Lucretia

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

That’s specific to one small demographic and one particular scene. How do you explain well dressed old folk?

Old (as old as genetically programmed ones) habits die hard.

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

Some people don’t care, others just want to look good.

Thats beyond doubt. The question was why.

Paddy Cow

VanGogh18 wrote: »

Irish women don't put any effort into their appearance

My brother has been living in Switzerland the last few years and he said one of the things he like about coming home is that girls make the effort when going out at the weekend - nice dresses etc. He says back on the continent they are more casual.

Outlaw Pete

SusieBlue wrote: »

When I'm getting dolled up for a night out I'll wear what makes me feel most confident - sometimes, that could be a face full of make up, a tiny little dress and high heels, and sometimes it might be a ponytail, jeans, boots and a warm comfy jumper.

Yes, but why would you feel confident in a 'tiny little dress and heels?

What random men or women might think of my outfit would never enter into my head.

Sure.

Cleopatra_

Most days I just throw on some jeans, a jumper and converse, minimal make up, I always assume I'm invisible/unattractive to others unless I'm dressed up on a night out. So, on a night out I do dress in a way that I think flatters me and will attract attention from men/women.

SusieBlue

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Yes, but why would you feel confident in a 'tiny little dress and heels?

Well just for example, the last night I went out I wore jeans because I hurt my leg at the gym & had a massive bruise on my thigh.
I wasn’t confident wearing a tiny dress that night because I was conscious of the bruise.
I felt more comfortable with my legs covered.

The bruise is pretty much gone now so I’ll probably wear a tiny little dress this weekend.

Sure.

Ok hun, I was just giving my own take on it, no need to get triggered.
I never asked for your amateur armchair psychologist evaluation on why I dress the way I do.

Mrsmum

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Yes, but why would you feel confident in a 'tiny little dress and heels?

Why would you not. It's a form of power dressing. A woman in heels and a little black dress more often than not feels like she could rule the world.

retro:electro

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Yes, but why would you feel confident in a 'tiny little dress and heels?

Cos maybe she thinks she looks daycent in it?

HappyAsLarE

Women dress up to attract a mate, full stop. This includes outdoing other females in order to heighten their attractiveness.

This is instinctive and caused by millions of years of evolution. Don’t kid yourselves ladies.

Bowlardo

Everything I know about the wimmin I learned from 80 pop songs ,so to answer your question I believe that women get dressed for success ,so famously put by roxette a savage under rated band who’s music stands the rest of time quite well.

Silentcorner

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

Women dress up to attract a mate, full stop. This includes outdoing other females in order to heighten their attractiveness.

This is instinctive and caused by millions of years of evolution. Don’t kid yourselves ladies.

Actually....the fashion industry dictates what we all wear to varying degrees.

The industry know what buttons to push and how to push those buttons, which are different for each gender.

If you know anything about Retail, you will know the lengths they go to to make you "feel good" when you are instore trying on clothes.

A woman/man in an underdeveloped country/economy with a very limited wardrobe feels just as confident as a woman/man in a developed country/economy with a massive wardrobe.

I was a kid during the 80s...half your wardrobe was home made or handed down and everyone managed to cope...now, it is not unusual to find people with 20-25 plus pairs of shoes!!!...just to help them along with that confidence thing!!!

suicide_circus

lol at people trying to wrestle with obvious biological truths, yee look like youre trying to swim through custard.

Always Tired

I dress according to mood.

This is morning mist.