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Your King, you Queen, how did you meet and what did you go through to get there?

Kuva

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Feisar

Met my wife for the first time at a charity fundraiser. Both of us were volenteers.

Got a bit nervous around her and basically told her about all my tinder dates. Went home thinking "well that wasn't the brightest" and put it down to experience.

Three weeks later I awoke to a msg on a Sunday morning asking was I OK. (She had been out the night before expecting me to me at a mutual friends BDay)

I swiftly asked her how she was fixed for dinner the next Saturday.

Dj Stiggie

It's shíte if you get cheated on or whatever, but people don't always break up because the love is gone. I think that's what bothers me the most about these types of threads/opinions. The examples you gave were fairly black and white because there was cheating involved, but in most cases there's a hell of a lot more to it than that.

Kuva

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

It's shíte if you get cheated on or whatever, but people don't always break up because the love is gone. I think that's what bothers me the most about these types of threads/opinions. The examples you gave were fairly black and white because there was cheating involved, but in most cases there's a hell of a lot more to it than that.

Their is more, but it'd just be story, to long, nobody would read, even if you are telling someone in person sometimes they'll go "yea yea and what happened".

Kuva

Feisar wrote: »

Met my wife for the first time at a charity fundraiser. Both of us were volenteers.

Got a bit nervous around her and basically told her about all my tinder dates. Went home thinking "well that wasn't the brightest" and put it down to experience.

Three weeks later I awoke to a msg on a Sunday morning asking was I OK. (She had been out the night before expecting me to me at a mutual friends BDay)

I swiftly asked her how she was fixed for dinner the next Saturday.

Did she message you on Tinder?

Dj Stiggie

Kuva wrote: »

Their is more, but it'd just be story, to long, nobody would read, even if you are telling someone in person sometimes they'll go "yea yea and what happened".

I get you, but I think a lot of the time the stories are very mundane. No one necessarily does something nasty to the other one and someone is left totally destroyed. I think a lot of people still love each other, just in a different way.

Feisar

Kuva wrote: »

Did she message you on Tinder?

No, facebook

Kuva

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

I get you, but I think a lot of the time the stories are very mundane. No one necessarily does something nasty to the other one and someone is left totally destroyed. I think a lot of people still love each other, just in a different way.

Hmm, OK, we have Sarah and Tom, they know each other 2 years, all good, just moved in together, have a Cat. It's Fri night and Tom is heading out with the lads.

Annnnnnnd long story short he cheats on Sarah in the pub toilets with the girl that was sitting on his knee earlier in the night.

He had his chance, he took it. If he loved Sarah he wouldn't have done it, he may still care for her, hope she doesn't get cancer but you just don't do it if you have any respect for the other person.

Sarah kills herself when she finds out.

What am I missing?

[Deleted User]

You queen when you promote your pawn.

Dj Stiggie

Kuva wrote: »

Hmm, OK, we have Sarah and Tom, they know each other 2 years, all good, just moved in together, have a Cat. It's Fri night and Tom is heading out with the lads.

Annnnnnnd long story short he cheats on Sarah in the pub toilets with the girl that was sitting on his knee earlier in the night.

He had his chance, he took it. If he loved Sarah he wouldn't have done it, he may still care for her, hope she doesn't get cancer but you just don't do it if you have any respect for the other person.

Sarah kills herself when she finds out.

What am I missing?

Nothing there, like I said, there was cheating involved which makes it very black and white. And that's a really fcuked up example.

All I was saying is that I believe (and I'm open to being wrong) a very high proportion of relationships kind of come to a natural end because people still love each other but the way their relationship was has changed. It's not always high drama.

JupiterKid

OP I don’t presume to know you or your issues but your posts in this thread seem very very negative and morose and if I were you I would seek out a counselor and/or psychiatrist as everyone needs to keep their mental health in check.

Just a friendly suggestion.

[Deleted User]

Kuva wrote: »

Is love real?

For me the answer is yes and no I think. I do not think love is real as in it is a distinct emotion like - say - anger. Love is not a thing in and of itself in my own experience - but a single word we have for a complicated amalgamation of other emotions and dependencies and interactions.

And as such it is very different from person to person or from love to love. For example I might say I "love" my mother - and then say I "love" my child - and then say I "love" my partners. But although I use the same word three times - what I actually mean and feel by it is massively different each time.

Kuva wrote: »

Is it worth wading through all that

Only you can answer that. What has worth to one person has absolutely none to another. There are paintings in the world people will think worth paying millions for. I look at them and would not give the artist 50cent for them. Why should love be any different? What it is worth to you - only you can determine.

For me however - there are downsides and a price to pay for every love. The love in my relationship. The love for my children. Such love comes with risks - fears - paranoia - and sometimes pain. But it has always been - and thus far continues to be - worth every bit of it.

Kuva wrote: »

How did you meet your significant other? How did you know he/she was the one? Was their a particular moment you knew?

I met both of my partners at pretty much the same time actually. I was a loner and tried to stop being a loner. I was into live music which I usually went to alone. So my solution was to combine the two and be "that guy" who would go onto the forums for the band/artist and organise pre-gig social meet ups in a pub near the venue for any gig.

One night before a Frames gig in Dublin the two of them separately showed up to a meetup I planned and announced. I did not know them and they did not know each other. In fact one of them looked so much younger than she actually was I at first was wondering where her parents were.

I hit it off with them straight away and romantic and physical feelings developed for one of them pretty much that night. I briefly ended up with her for awhile which tapered off at first after a couple of weeks. Then I ended up with the other awhile after that. Then one night we were hanging out watching a movie or something in my place and something just clicked with us. We ended up together that night and it evolved slowly from there.

I am not sure what particular moment I "knew" it was a forever thing though. I think I was always making plans for my future and my life. And one day I realised that I could not envision any plans or future without them any more. That my path through life was one I was wholly committed to sharing with them. Anything I could envision doing - like being a father of children - involved them. So I guess then I just knew.

Plopsu

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

All I was saying is that I believe (and I'm open to being wrong) a very high proportion of relationships kind of come to a natural end because people still love each other but the way their relationship was has changed. It's not always high drama.

Not with a bang but a whimper. I would say you're right. Most relationships that end (much like most friendships) just run their course or fizzle out.

Badly Drunk Boy

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

Nothing there, like I said, there was cheating involved which makes it very black and white. And that's a really fcuked up example.

All I was saying is that I believe (and I'm open to being wrong) a very high proportion of relationships kind of come to a natural end because people still love each other but the way their relationship was has changed. It's not always high drama.

Exactly! When I read the opening post, I just thought "Any of my break-ups have been boring. No drama.". Sometimes people just change, drift apart, and the spark is gone. It doesn't mean that you don't care for the person, or even don't like them anymore.

As JupiterKid said, the OP sounds very negative. Having a negative attitude isn't a great thing to have in any relationship.