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Are Hen Parties becoming a thing of the past?

Sunny Dayz

Are Hen Parties going to be wiped out with the recession? Are people just not interested in them anymore?

Mine is on the weekend after next and the amount who previously said they would attend (when I invited them 3 months ago) have turned around in the last week and said they cannot attend (have no money, can't get off work, have other plans, etc etc).

:mad: Has rightly pee'd me off because we have booked a hotel hen package which required a minimum number, and now we are below that number (so whoever makes it in the end will have to pay over more than originally planned and we may not get all the package offered as not enough people). Also annoys me that these people had said initally that yes they would attend, can't wait, what will I wear etc.. It's actually not an expensive hen, we got a great deal. I am well aware of people not having money as I was unemployed last year and personally am a great bargain hunter!

Are hen parties losing their appeal though? I'm very tempted to cancel the whole bloody thing if people can't be arsed!

Rage now abating....Breathe...

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whatdoicare

krankykitty wrote: »

Fair point, but people are only too happy to tell her that she was selfish for wanting it in the first place. I think the bride is more unhappy that they cancelled at the last minute, rather than the fact they are not going.

Whilst I don't think she's being selfish, I do think she's being a tad unrealistic about peoples circumstances and relying on numbers to drum up an amount like 90 euros was even more so.

krankykitty

I know what you mean, but they did say they would go before, to the point of showing great excitement about it... And other reasons were cited such as "have other plans" which might not be anything to do with the money at all. So I can see why she would be upset at that.

whatdoicare

krankykitty wrote: »

I know what you mean, but they did say they would go before, to the point of showing great excitement about it... And other reasons were cited such as "have other plans" which might not be anything to do with the money at all. So I can see why she would be upset at that.

People do that the whole time, life happens. The trick is, if yr planning something like that - get the money first and then do the booking.

Monife

I am amazed at how some girls do their Hens these days. One girl in work went to Edinburgh for 2 nights and then down the country with the rest of her friends who didn't make it to Edinburgh... 2 Hen nights, like what is the need for that.

I told my maid of honour I only want a small, affordable affair (like my wedding). I was more than happy to go for a meal with the girls and female members of the my family and his and then back to my MOH's house for a cocktail night and games. Although instead, my MOH has organised a 3 bedroom apartment in Dublin (friends live in Wicklow, myself in Dublin) for the night (€109, she insisted on paying for it as part of the wedding gift, she is also making our bouquets (silk flowers) ) and has organised an early bird for 15 people (9 girls 6 female family members) in a restaurant which I think is a lovely idea. So if you factor in dart fare, early bird and off licence drink, the max cost would be €40pp. Affordable and going to be a great night. I don't see the need to be gadding off down the country for the weekend and going out dressed like a bag of dolly mixture.

I also don't see how girls find going out to clubs for the Hens to be good fun. Imho, I think the Hens is suppose to be a night of good craic with your close girlfriends, talking about past boyfriends and future married life and wedding talk. 2 day Hens and crazy weekends away are not only ridiculous in the current economic climate but even with no recession, who in their right mind wants to fork out over 200quid for the Hens and then have to do the same (or much more) for the actual Wedding...

amdublin

We need to get back to the house party with friends, female family members and neighbours.

Where the bride provides the refreshment (like a normal party)

amdublin

The two nights away are so boring - by the end of it you do be sick of each other, sick from the drink and sick of the bride acting like a princess.

Acoshla

My boyfriend is invited on a stag soon, the groom wants everyone (60 of them :eek:) to go away to Cork for two nights, €85 a night for the hotel, so €170 gone before travel costs, the inevitable drinking for 48 hours and any food. So basically it'd be about €400 if the groom had it his way, between the constant pints and nightclub entry and slap up meals etc. My boyfriend has said he'll go for one night, stay in a hostel that he'll book himself (groom said he doesn't want to stay in a sh*tty hostel) and that's it.

But of course the groom has also organised a "Junior Stag" next weekend, a practice run basically. So hopefully the ridiculous stags are becoming a thing of the past too!

krankykitty

amdublin wrote: »

The two nights away are so boring - by the end of it you do be sick of each other, sick from the drink and sick of the bride acting like a princess.

Sounds like you need to find some new friends

snickerpuss

amdublin wrote: »

We need to get back to the house party with friends, female family members and neighbours.

Where the bride provides the refreshment (like a normal party)

Of course this only works if you have a big house/don't have a tiny apartment. I know my parent's house could fit about 7 max in the sitting room. Maybe it's a country thing, I've never heard of it.

Toots

whatdoicare wrote: »

People do that the whole time, life happens. The trick is, if yr planning something like that - get the money first and then do the booking.

If there's a lesson to be learned from the whole experience, then it's this.

the_syco

Went to a mates stag there a few years back. It was in Jurys on some deal, so we got it cheaply. 2 per room, and there was between 10 and 15 of us. I think it was about €200 each, and this included two nights in a hotel, and paintball (which included the transport to/from the paintball) on Saturday. All paid up months before the event (another reason why we got it cheaply, I think).

IMO, if you're planning a weekend, pay for it all months in advance, so you know who's coming or not, and it allows people to then save up for the drinking. And by gawd, two of the boys drank like there was no tomorrow :P

Redonblonde

I dread the idea of a garish hen... I have a mix of friends, some who would be delighted to talk sex/ old boyfriends etc, and go for a boogie, and then some who would be horrified and embarrassed if we mentioned anything sex related, and then some who don't drink or go clubbing. So I think I will bake some cakes, make fancy sandwiches, and we can have a picnic or tea party and just relax.

Asked my mum who is 60 what was the hen in her day...you invited your friends over, and showed them your trosseau, ie, what you were wearing for the wedding night (oh yeah!) and your "going away" outfit. That and some drinks, was it!

amdublin

Redonblonde wrote: »

Asked my mum who is 60 what was the hen in her day...you invited your friends over, and showed them your trosseau, ie, what you were wearing for the wedding night (oh yeah!) and your "going away" outfit. That and some drinks, was it!

Awww that's cute

Nelbell

I think garish hens are a group of girls who would normally dress OTT on a night out anyway. You know what you’re like, you know what your friends are like, so your hen is never going to degenerate into a penis themed pink frenzy, unless that’s what you’re in to!
I’m always in two minds about the whole attending or not attending debate. Of course people genuinely can’t afford an expensive weekend away especially with the wedding so close, but did they or would they expect that of you? In most cases I would say they would or did. If you can’t afford it, fair enough. In my experience what you get in return is a great night(s) out, memories to last forever and a good relationship with girls who you perhaps didn’t know beforehand but now know on the wedding day. It makes the group who did attend all feel like friends at the wedding, so the day is far more inclusive. IMO girls who missed out, miss out

Keep it simple so nobody has that left out feeling. It is bad form to say you’re going though and then back out at the last minute. That isn’t doing anybody any favours.
I recently attended a fancy dress hen and despite my reservations it was a roaring success! Nobody spent a fortune on expensive outfits, it was very much a make and do outfit and all the funnier for it! There was no dresses and high heels pressure, everyone just wore what was comfortable and had a laugh.

winterlight

I'm glad I just came across this thread. I'm getting married in December. I wasn't going to have a 'hen night out' or a 'hen weekend.' I hate the forced merriment, I really think it's asking for too much of peoples time and money...basically I find the whole hen thing really tacky. I do, however, really like the idea of hosting a party for the girls in my house some night. So this has really got me thinking...

gallagb1

Personally speaking I have no interest in weddings, I think marriage is grand if you wanna do it, but I think weddings are just over the top and hideously expensive! My friend since I was 5 asked me to be her bridesmaid and I said yes even though I don't really want to do it but I couldn't say no to her. What comes with it is the hen, I'm dreading it. I forked out the 150 euro to go cuz I don't want to upset her but I really think it's unfair she expects me to spend that much when I'm not even working atm and have tons of expenses atm and don't know a single other person coming. I just think people are foolish spend so much on one day when the marriage is the thing that's important! All the bridesmaids keep going on about how excited they are about the hen and I'm here just lying thought my teeth. Are they genuinely actually excited about it? I'm very confused!

love_love

I could be wrong but I don't think you're going to find much common ground in a forum on weddings...

splinter65

gallagb1 wrote: »

Personally speaking I have no interest in weddings, I think marriage is grand if you wanna do it, but I think weddings are just over the top and hideously expensive! My friend since I was 5 asked me to be her bridesmaid and I said yes even though I don't really want to do it but I couldn't say no to her. What comes with it is the hen, I'm dreading it. I forked out the 150 euro to go cuz I don't want to upset her but I really think it's unfair she expects me to spend that much when I'm not even working atm and have tons of expenses atm and don't know a single other person coming. I just think people are foolish spend so much on one day when the marriage is the thing that's important! All the bridesmaids keep going on about how excited they are about the hen and I'm here just lying thought my teeth. Are they genuinely actually excited about it? I'm very confused!

The wedding industry in Ireland found it very easy to convince most couples that they would not be properly married unless they spend multiple thousands of €s on what amounts to a party for family and friends.
How easily people were convinced that their party had to be the most lavish and most original so far....only achieved by shoveling cash by the bucket from the engagement announcement through the hens and the stag right up to and including a now 3 day weekend (the recently added rehearsal dinner was imported from the US with admirable aplomb).

TheRiverman

I was at a wedding recently.The hen party held a week before the wedding was a simple get together of female family members and friends about fifteen altogether,who went for a meal and some drinks.No ridiculous carry on or bull****.

Spanish Eyes

Some day soon, a restrained, small, and tasteful wedding will become the thing to do. Everything else has been done to death now.

Hens is naff. Never go, and I don't do weddings either unless it's close family. My choice, my moolah.

Bridezillas did me in over the years, never again.

splinter65

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Some day soon, a restrained, small, and tasteful wedding will become the thing to do. Everything else has been done to death now.

Hens is naff. Never go, and I don't do weddings either unless it's close family. My choice, my moolah.

Bridezillas did me in over the years, never again.

There are some torturous threads on this forum about being forced almost at gunpoint to attend both weddings and hens. There’s a thread over on consumer issues even right now about who in the wedding party must pay for a groomsman hotel room.
Otherwise intelligent mature adults who can stand up for themselves in day to day life seem to turn into sniveling wrecks when faced with a wedding related invitation.

Meauldsegosha

gallagb1 wrote: »

Personally speaking I have no interest in weddings, I think marriage is grand if you wanna do it, but I think weddings are just over the top and hideously expensive! My friend since I was 5 asked me to be her bridesmaid and I said yes even though I don't really want to do it but I couldn't say no to her. What comes with it is the hen, I'm dreading it. I forked out the 150 euro to go cuz I don't want to upset her but I really think it's unfair she expects me to spend that much when I'm not even working atm and have tons of expenses atm and don't know a single other person coming. I just think people are foolish spend so much on one day when the marriage is the thing that's important! All the bridesmaids keep going on about how excited they are about the hen and I'm here just lying thought my teeth. Are they genuinely actually excited about it? I'm very confused!

Have you spoken to your friend and told her that money is tight for you.

Blaizes

splinter65 wrote: »

The wedding industry in Ireland found it very easy to convince most couples that they would not be properly married unless they spend multiple thousands of €s on what amounts to a party for family and friends.
How easily people were convinced that their party had to be the most lavish and most original so far....only achieved by shoveling cash by the bucket from the engagement announcement through the hens and the stag right up to and including a now 3 day weekend (the recently added rehearsal dinner was imported from the US with admirable aplomb).

And not to drag this thread sideways but another thing we have also now inherited is the ' baby shower' a party before the baby is born bring gifts that kind of thing.Thankfully I missed it but it just seems like another drain on peoples money.Is it not enough to give a gift when the child is born.Where does the madness end...

splinter65

Blaizes wrote: »

And not to drag this thread sideways but another thing we have also now inherited is the ' baby shower' a party before the baby is born bring gifts that kind of thing.Thankfully I missed it but it just seems like another drain on peoples money.Is it not enough to give a gift when the child is born.Where does the madness end...

Advertising firms and marketing offices are full of highly educated and qualified geniuses who are just excellent at selling stuff to people who have money to splash about.
In Easons the other day I smiled at a whole stand set up for “Baby Shower”. Cards invitations gift bags etc for your baby shower.
Look. It’s capitalism. Demand and supply. Employees of the companies that produce this stuff are getting a weeks wages and can pay their rent and live as a consequence of this rubbish and tat being available to buy. Irish people have always been very susceptible to abandoning our own culture very easily in favor of some (any) other culture.

Faith

Mod note: This thread was started 7 years ago, and so is a total zombie thread. It was started in the context of the depths of the recession, so the thesis of the thread is no longer relevant. For both those reasons, I’m going to close this thread. If anyone would care to start a new thread to discuss hen parties, do feel free, but remember that we this forum is primarily one of support and information, not for shîtting all over whatever aspect of weddings you personally don’t like