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Long termers TTC

stickybean

After reading a few comments I thought it would be nice to start a thread for people who are TTC long term, I don't want to define what "longterm" is as we all have our own journeys ans what can be an eternity for one person can be shorter for another. So going to make a start.

We are 2 years and 2 months TTC, we are waiting on tests (which happen in December) and I have just started acupuncture. There are days, like today, when I feel like opening my front door and screaming when will it be me?????

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bilbot79

GaGa21 wrote: »

Day 35 and still no cycle but pregnancy test was negative yesterday. Have never been this late before so I'm thinking I didn't ovulate at all this month. I'm hoping my surgery has not messed up my cycle :-(

What tests are you using?

GaGa21

bilbot79 wrote:

What tests are you using?

The cheapest one I could get in chemist. Aimed at early pregnancy like the first response. So considering I'm 5 days late it would surely be accurate?

bilbot79

GaGa21 wrote: »

The cheapest one I could get in chemist. Aimed at early pregnancy like the first response. So considering I'm 5 days late it would surely be accurate?

I guess so. But you hear about false negatives sometimes

bilbot79

Update from me is yesterday woke up to wife screaming on the toilet as she was bleeding. Said she felt a cramp aswell. We took the day off work and went down to the clinic to do a blood hcg test.
Waited anxiouslt all day for results and when they called they said the HCG levels were high as expected and the doc was happy. Thankfully there hasn't been any bleeding since and hopefully we're not in trouble. Wife thinks the crinone might be irritating her.
The rollercoaster continues...

lashes34

I have everything crossed for you bilbot, hoping it all works out.

bee06

You and your poor wife must be nervous wreaks Bilbot. I can’t even imagine. Everything crossed here as well for you.

GaGa21

bilbot79 wrote:

Update from me is yesterday woke up to wife screaming on the toilet as she was bleeding. Said she felt a cramp aswell....

Hopefully it all goes well the next few weeks. If it's any consolation, my sister bled with all 3 of her pregnancies and has 3 healthy boys and currently pregnant with her 4th. Not the same obviously as she had no fertility issues but it can be a comfort to know that some bleeding is normal. Fingers crossed for you x

brokensoul

bilbot79 wrote: »

Update from me is yesterday woke up to wife screaming on the toilet as she was bleeding. Said she felt a cramp aswell. We took the day off work and went down to the clinic to do a blood hcg test.
Waited anxiouslt all day for results and when they called they said the HCG levels were high as expected and the doc was happy. Thankfully there hasn't been any bleeding since and hopefully we're not in trouble. Wife thinks the crinone might be irritating her.
The rollercoaster continues...

Fingers and toes remain crossed.

I had 4 days of bleeding (not heavy and not constant) when I was pregnant with my twins. It was the scariest thing ever. When I had my first scan they could see a pocket of blood that was trapped in my womb, probably implantation bleeding, and that was what was causing the bleeding.

I so hope it works out for ye.

LCD

bilbot79 This sounds amazing "HCG levels were high as expected and the doc was happy". From the positive test to the 1st scan is so hard (to be honest the worry continues until they are born & then the worrying never stops).
Wish I could say something really supportive or inspirational

CCCHIA

bilbot79 wrote: »

Update from me is yesterday woke up to wife screaming on the toilet as she was bleeding. Said she felt a cramp aswell. .

Such scary times but thankfully it all looks good, I really have everything crossed for you and your wife. Fingers crossed this is a once off bleed xx

bilbot79

I'm afraid to say disaster has struck. Mrs Bilbot had terrible pain in her back and going down her front leg on Friday night. We went to A and e on Saturday hoping it was an adverse reaction to progeterone but ultrasound showed the baby with a little heartbeat had implanted in the tube, an ectopic pregnancy.

The tube had to be removed altogether so now there is only one left. We can still have children with the other but imagine if there was another ectopic. It feels like it will be a miracle if this works out . Wife is now in hospital having developed a UTI in the operation.

Im beyond bemoaning our bad luck now, it won't help us.

GaGa21

Awh no, so sorry to hear that. It is so hard to stay positive when events like this happen. All I can say is hopefully it will make you stronger as a couple. Wishing Mrs Bilbot a speedy recovery, physically and emotionally.

lashes34

Awh bilbot I'm devastated for ye. Wishing your wife a speedy recovery from the op but more so emotionally.

CCCHIA

I'm so so sorry Bilbot, I wish your wife well in her recovery and I wish you well during this time xx

babydream

Bilbot Im so so so sorry to hear this awful news. Just make sure you both look after each other in all this.

fits

So sorry

catrionanic

My heart broke reading that. I am so so sorry. I hope she recovers quickly and you find the strength from each other to get through this.

If it's any consolation at all, my own mother struggled with 8 years of infertility and also lost a tube after an ectopic pregnancy (her first pregnancy). She went on to have three healthy children in the seven years after that.

Look after yourselves.

brokensoul

So sorry bilbot. I wish I had something more to offer.

Huge hugs.

LCD

Really feel for you & your wife Bilbot. Is such a sh!t thing to happen to you guys.

shesty

God Bilbot, how terrible.
If it helps, I have a friend who had a tube removed and has successfully had 2 children. Fingers crossed for you. I hope you both take time to recover from this.

Fingersandtoes

I wish I'd words to comfort you and take away all the anger and disappointment. It must be heart breaking. I've never been in that situation but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I hope medically your wife will be ok. I hope you both get some counselling to help come to terms with what has happened.
Thinking of you both

GaGa21

Has anyone here heard of or tried the Ava fertility tracker? Looks good but a bit expensive....cheaper than IVF though if successful.

Toots

I looked at it but it was tested for 24-35 day cycles and not tested for PCOS so that ruled me out.

sunsetbeachfan

I'm devastated for you Bilbot and Mrs Bilbot so sorry for your loss, wishing you all the best and speeding recovery from her op.

Dinkie

bilbot79 wrote: »

I'm afraid to say disaster has struck. Mrs Bilbot had terrible pain in her back and going down her front leg on Friday night. We went to A and e on Saturday hoping it was an adverse reaction to progeterone but ultrasound showed the baby with a little heartbeat had implanted in the tube, an ectopic pregnancy.

The tube had to be removed altogether so now there is only one left. We can still have children with the other but imagine if there was another ectopic. It feels like it will be a miracle if this works out . Wife is now in hospital having developed a UTI in the operation.

Im beyond bemoaning our bad luck now, it won't help us.

I'm so sorry to hear this bilbot. But it is extremely unlikely that you will have a second one.... although you will never stop worrying and panicing over it. Take of yourselves and give yourself time to heal. x

sunsetbeachfan

Toots wrote: »

I looked at it but it was tested for 24-35 day cycles and not tested for PCOS so that ruled me out.

I'm interested in it too but like yourself cycles really irregular hoping that will change I'll get a pattern going on Metformin

bilbot79

Clear & Simple tests recalled for false positives

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/popular-brand-of-pregnancy-test-recalled-following-number-of-false-positives-37386027.html

Fingersandtoes

https://m.independent.ie/life/family/fertility-and-you/intense-grief-after-failure-of-fertility-treatment-is-comparable-to-bereavement-new-research-37473334.html

I thought this was a good article especially about the isolation and not being able to talk to anyone about how you really feel. The sentence about separating from friends who have children rang true to me. I'm lucky I've one child but I've distanced myself from friends who have a child roughly the same age as my child and a younger child.

I think counseling should be compulsory if attending a fertility clinic.
Hope everyone is well

GaGa21

Fingersandtoes wrote:

I think counseling should be compulsory if attending a fertility clinic. Hope everyone is well

To be honest, I think psychological support should be offered to any person suffering infertility fullstop.
I know hopes are probably raised more while attending fertility clinics but people are dealing with it before it even gets to that stage so should be offered by GPs.

On a separate note, does anyone remember when Varadkar announced the state supported IVF due to start in 2019? It seems like a dream as there has been no talk of it since. Is it still happening?

babydream

GaGa21 wrote: »

To be honest, I think psychological support should be offered to any person suffering infertility fullstop.
I know hopes are probably raised more while attending fertility clinics but people are dealing with it before it even gets to that stage so should be offered by GPs.

On a separate note, does anyone remember when Varadkar announced the state supported IVF due to start in 2019? It seems like a dream as there has been no talk of it since. Is it still happening?

I agree about support being offered, its a very lonely journey and there are times when you can see no light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly I am struggling more with this grief than I did when my Dad passed away a number of years ago!!

I remember Simon Harris talking about the free IVF for couples and I called it when the Abortion referendum was passed that free IVF would not happen in January 2019. All available resources and money are going to be spent on abortion services.

I have emailed Simon Harris seeking an update on this and ill post reply when (if) I get one.