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Are Irish people hard to make friends with?

JackieChang

A French lady told me today that Irish people are very "closed".

We are one of the "most friendly people in the world" on a Saturday night (drink obviously), but we'll never be seen again. Come Monday we don't want to hear about them.

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

What do you think?

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ArchXStanton

We're way too cliquey

Cleopatra_

I think it's partially because people who come from a different country need to make an effort to make friends whereas the natives usually have friends that they made in school, college and work and so they aren't that bothered with making more friends. I think that's the case in most countries. The friendly attitude of Irish people initially masks this but like others have said, we're not easy to actually befriend. It's all on the surface chat.

corks finest

Doubt that

corks finest

Doubt that, found the Bretons v friendly, Parisians ignorant cawbogs

JackieChang

victor8600 wrote: »

+1. Also I think the French lady in the OP may have a problem with making new friends because people in general make less friends after 30+. Friends are easy to make in school/college, but when you are short on time because of work and kids you do not want to invite random people to your place for a chat over a couple of beers.

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

Rural= characteristic of the countryside.
Now go out and play with your friends.

Towns are characteristic of the countryside. Anywhere outside Dublin, Cork and maybe Limerick is rural.

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

Towns are characteristic of the countryside. Anywhere outside Dublin, Cork and maybe Limerick is rural.

You need to learn the meaning of words you use.

The One Doctor

JackieChang wrote: »

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.
?

She should stop wearing the onion and garlic necklace.

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

I've never heard a foreigner say that, and I've known loads of them.

Full disclosure - I very rarely make friends at work. Yes I chat and make jokes and the like, but in 20 years I've made maybe 4 work friends and as soon as I've left the job I've never spoken to them again. I did meet my fiance in work though.

Cleopatra_

JackieChang wrote: »

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

Well, it's likely that her foreign colleagues have come to Ireland not knowing anyone and have also been looking for friendship so it makes sense that she's befriended them, especially in a multinational company.

JackieChang

The One Doctor wrote: »

She should stop wearing the onion and garlic necklace.

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

I've never heard a foreigner say that, and I've known loads of them.

My friend who was sitting beside me works in the same corporation as her. He didn't say anything as we were chatting.

I asked him afterwards why he didn't mention he's also working there. He said I don't want her to come over to me thinking we're friends.

I've heard many foreigners, including my own foreign missus, say Irish people are hard to get to know. Except for work parties, then they're your best friends. (after a few scoops)

Hitman3000

snoop_catt wrote:

its just the way it is , very often blow ins view the locals as very friendly for the first year or so but that just folks being curious about the novelty of a new arrival , once they have the facts about you , you become invisible

Still noonsense. Living here 14 years and what you say couldn't be further from the truth.

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

You need to learn the meaning of words you use.

What town used you live in?

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

What town used you live in?

It's irrelevant. You clearly have no idea what rural and urban mean.

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

It's irrelevant. You clearly have no idea what rural and urban mean.

Aha definitely the bog so

Billy86

JackieChang wrote: »

A French lady told me today that Irish people are very "closed".

We are one of the "most friendly people in the world" on a Saturday night (drink obviously), but we'll never be seen again. Come Monday we don't want to hear about them.

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

What do you think?

I find it very true. Before I went to Australia I kept hearing about how much they hate us over there, yet when I got there any Aussie I mentioned it to was mystified. Meanwhile anyone in Sydney knows exactly what I mean when it comes to Irish people only ever leaving the Bondi/Waverley area to go to the casino (to watch the Premier league), working for Irish people, with almost exclusively Irish people, only ever hanging around with Irish people, spending every second night on the cock and Bill, tea gardens or Scruffy Murphy's (on the way from Bindi to the casino, or vice versa), being flat out hostile to any Irish people they've latched on to talking to Aussies because "they're all pricks" and on and on (something o experienced a on a number of occasions that never got any less perplexing).

Same with Canada though to a far lesser extent. Yonge/Eglinton area, the standard small handful of Irish bars and so on. I'm in an "Irish a new..." group that seems to get riddled at times with posts of people asking "I just got here today, where can I find an Irish pub?" I mean wtf is that about? Also using "Canadians are boring so why bother?" as an excuse when over half of Toronto wasn't even born in Canada.

This is far, far from everyone of course but we are clearly bigger offenders than most from my experience.

J Mysterio

JackieChang wrote: »

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

I'll go for pints with her. Is she hot?

As to the OP, I have also heard this a lot. I'm not sure that it is fair though. Do people expect to just become instant friends with people or what? Most people do their job amd fucķ off home, watch some TV and go to bed. What is she doing to further friendships?

I actually work in a super international environment where the Irish are in the minority, heavily outnumbered by French, Italians, Spanish, Germans. The majority of these lads are the same: doing their job, going home. I've actually tried to get people into Friday Beers or the like and they just don't have the interest.

People tend to also hang out with others from their country. Particularly the Spanish.

jcorr

Irish people are friendly on the surface but definitely not easy to make real friends with them.

Forget about non anglophone countries foreigners. They're the worst. They'll hang around in their own social group and will never mix outside of it.

no.8

The One Doctor wrote:

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

Rude of me to cut in but...Have you ever had experience like she does?

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

Aha definitely the bog so

What an awesome comeback. You sir/ madam are clearly an intellectually gifted individual, it is an honour to converse what someone such as yourself.

steves2

Would definitely agree, heard this many times over the years, on a night out we are great craic and friendly but after that will be cold. When you think of it, it's hard to make a really good friend as you get into your 30s and older isn't it?

freshpopcorn

I find lots of Irish people have friends who they'd get on well with and would help one another out but they wouldn't live up to the sterotipical best friends forever who's live in your pocket.

Boscoirl

Nobody wants to be friends with people they work with.

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

What an awesome comeback. You sir/ madam are clearly an intellectually gifted individual, it is an honour to converse what someone such as yourself.

You're welcome bogman.

the purple tin

Aside from nationalities and all that, the french girl is probably coming across as too clingy and that makes people run a mile. Like for instance saying to someone you just met that day 'what club are you going to hit this weekend? can I come too?'.
Just tell her to dial it back a bit and not push herself onto people before she getsa chance to know them properly. Be more laid back and soon people will be more friendly towards you.

KevinCavan

The way I look at it is people who are born in an area and go to school in that area, have their core group of friends established by late teens and twenties. With the exception of a few college mates, they won’t deviate much from this core group from their local area. The people I mention won’t be open to starting new friendships in late twenties. Work mates will be more like acquaintances in most cases. With the example of the French woman, an Irish girl in her late twenties won’t be bothered getting to know her, as her circle of friends is well established by then. Other foreigners lacking in friendships over here would be the French lady’s best option.

Hammer89

I did a bit of wandering around North America a while ago and an Irish girl who had been abroad for a few years remarked that "Irish people were afraid to be nice" and she was spot-on.

I knew she was Irish and vice versa but it wasn't until a drunken interaction outside the hostel that we each acknowledged one another properly and began chatting, but had I not been fairly pissed then I'm not sure I would've broached the subject. I think we're hugely self-critical and talk ourselves out of the most harmless interactions in fear of the slagging we'd get if our mates could see us, even though they're a few thousand miles away.

[Deleted User]

Billy86 wrote: »

Same with Canada though to a far lesser extent. Yonge/Eglinton area, the standard small handful of Irish bars and so on. I'm in an "Irish a new..." group that seems to get riddled at times with posts of people asking "I just got here today, where can I find an Irish pub?" I mean wtf is that about? Also using "Canadians are boring so why bother?" as an excuse when over half of Toronto wasn't even born in Canada.

This is far, far from everyone of course but we are clearly bigger offenders than most from my experience.

Toronto is more formal than Ireland, except for the Irish bars, where you can quite happily sit at the bar and have a few drinks without having to 'find a table' and be presented with menus like so many other bars in TO.

I think that Irish people are very easy to make friends with if you are out drinking with them. Dont try and make friends on a Monday morning.

Hitman3000

Deleted User wrote:

I think that Irish people are very easy to make friends with if you are out drinking with them. Dont try and make friends on a Monday morning.

Seriously who the f**k tries to make friends on a Monday morning unless you were there Sunday night.

mg1982

We are good at the small talk but dont give away much about ourselves. Whereas if you meet an american there like an open book. So yes its hard to be friends with us. Maybe we have a suspicion of outsiders i dunno.

Franz Von Peppercorn

With the exception of some midlands culchies who gravitate to Dublin Ireland’s population tend to live close to where they grow up. I mean I don’t even hear Kerry or cork accents that much in Dublin, and the last two cork people I worked with stayed in Dublin midweek only and scuttled back to the real capital for the rest of the week.

This leaves you with Dubliners in Dublin (or Corkonians in Cork) who have school friends, and college friends from Dublin or Cork and maybe some friends they made in their twenties in work. We are more family oriented too and family is often in the same city too.

Contrast this with the multiple cities in the US, Germany and other countries and the difference is plain.

We do send out sorta friendly signals because we go drinking midweek with colleagues. In my last job Thursday was office drinking day, more often than not a leaving do where attendance is generally seen as a good idea.

But we don’t as a rule meet our work colleagues (some exceptions aside) at weekends. And lots of Irish people live with their parents well into adulthood. So that way of getting a social group is out.

I’m the same. When I lived in the US I hung with my work friends and flat mates at weekends. We were all young and from out of town ( Americans included).

Came back here and I hang with family, gf and college and school friends at weekends.