nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

The try harder if ye want to keep a second joke thread thread

Mr. CooL ICE

How do you know penguins good race car drivers? Because they are always in pole position.

What do you call 500 penguins in Athlone? Lost.

Why can't penguins fly? Because they are chocolate biscuits.

Original thread here

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

I was driving to work this morning and I wasn't paying attention to the car in front of me and crashed in to the back of it. The driver got out he was a dwarf he said I'm not happy I asked which one are you then?

New Home

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

Police came accross two boys in the park one was drinking barrery acid and the second was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

Met a Dutch girl the other night she was wearing inflatable shoes. The next day I tried phoning her for a date but she had popped her clogs.

Bob Harris

Why do people keep talking about the paypal visit in August? Don't they already have offices in Dublin?

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

My wife accused me of been a transvestite so I packed her things and left.

I took viagira for my sunburn it doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs.

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

I've been dating a homeless woman lately. It's starting to get serious she asked me to move out with her.

My girlfriend has her own taser she's a real Stunner.

I built an electric fence around my house. My neighbour is dead against it.

blade1

byrner88 wrote: »

To the guy who stole my antidepressants......

I hope your happy now!!

Where did I see that one before?
Oh yeah, 2 posts above yours! :P

byrner88

To the guy who stole my antidepressants......

I hope your happy now!!

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

My posh friend has a butler with only one arm. Serves him right.

A mother who injected her eight year old daughter with botox has lost custody. Her daughter didn't look surprised.

Try_harder

To the thief who stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy now.

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

Patient says to doctor I have trouble sleeping can you help? Doctor gives the patient some sleeping tablets. Patient asks how many do I take and the doctor replies one every two hours.

Husband says to wife you have become a great kisser since you went on a diet. The wife says It's not that I'm a great kisser I'm looking for food particles between your teeth.

A man turned up with only a pencil and drawing paper for a duel. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

My girlfriend told me I'm useless at fixing electrical appliances. She's in for a shock.

jaykay74

Whats a Hindu?
.
.
.
Lay eggs

Capt'n Midnight

The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle, until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.

Capt'n Midnight

I wanted to be a banker when I grew up. But my parents were married.

Capt'n Midnight

I set my phone to airplane mode and threw it up in the air.

Worst. Transformer. Ever.

Buford T. Justice XIX

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor,
“Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things.”
“Well,” the doctor replied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn’t reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we’ll get an idea about the severity of her deafness.”
Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off standing about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks loudly,
“Honey, what’s for dinner?”
She replies, “For the fourth time, vegetable stew!”

branie2

I used to want to be a banker when I grew up. But I kept losing interest.

patmac

Just asked Siri.

"Surely it's not going to rain today?"

She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"

... Forgot to take my phone off Aeroplane mode.

blade1

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

What do you call two Mexican firemen?

Jose and hose B.

What do you call a Mexican leaving Hospital?
Manuel.

What do you call a Mexican that has had his vehicle stolen?
Carlos.

What do Mexicans use under their carpets?
Under Underlay Underlay.

DEFTLEFTHAND

What do you call two Mexican firemen?

Jose and hose B.

byrner88

If there's a sock on my doorknob it means I'm having sex with the other one.

cavu

What do the films Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

New Home

"Hello Mr. Meldrew, I'm Cassandra."
"I don't belieeeeve it!"

chewed

What's the difference between hard and light?

You can sleep with a light on

Capt'n Midnight

I just got diagnosed with the big C

Dyslexia

Capt'n Midnight

If a pig loses its voice does it become disgruntled?

byrner88

Gardai have confirmed a man has been arrested in Kerry after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it.

He is due to be bailed tomorrow.

TheBody

I got trapped in a bidding war for a house because my wife loved the lengthy corridor.

Now I’m in it for the long hall.

RiderOnTheStorm

I like my whiskey like I like my women.....21 years old and in pairs.

blueser

Nodster wrote: »

How does a Dublin farmer round up his sheep?

"C'mere ewe's"

Would the farmer be called Anto, by any chance?