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Child Item

That one thing from your past that makes you CRINGE!!

cavemeister

You know that feeling right???

That one thing we have done in the past that when in pops into your head, you are reduced to a puddle of cringy gloop.

Doesn't matter if you are walking the dog, driving the car or sitting in a meeting, once that memory surfaces, your brain does everything in it's power to suppress it again leaving you a bumbling wreck

Mine usually involve really, really stupid things I have said to girls when I was younger in a lame attempt in trying to sound cool when chatting them up..

The pain!!!

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Dramatik

In my youth I was in bed with a girl and I decided that she could take over for a bit on top, so I leaned in to kiss her whilst simultaneously rolling to the side and onto my back, only I didn't realize that we were already at the edge of the bed so we both went crashing to the ground and because we were both kissing at the time we both banged our teeth together, which was quite sore and instantly killed the mood. Smooth lol!

I'm sure I have plenty more stories like this but my brain just erases them immediately as they are off the cringe meter!

jester77

Was on a lads weekend in the south of France one weekend and was supposed to fly back on the Sunday evening to return to work on the Monday. Everyone else was staying on until Monday and while we were out drinking on Sunday it didn't take much convincing for me to skip the flight.

We ended up drinking the whole Sunday night and falling out of a bar early on Monday morning, roughly around the time I should be going to work. For some reason I decided to call work and tell them I had missed my flight and wouldn't make it in, no idea what sort of a message I left on the voicemail.

Fast forward a week or 2 later and I bump into the secretary and I apologised for leaving what was probably a very incomprehensible message. She looked at me confused and said "You know, you were actually talking with me"

DavidLyons_

snoop_catt wrote: »

while sitting in class in first year , i accidently let my pen slip behind my neighbours seat and behind his back , i reached over to get it and the guy stood up and accused me of feeling his arse in front of the whole class

took me about four years to get over it

Edmund? Is that you? You poor b*stard.

JackieChang

Hitting on a girl in a club whilst dancing. Cheesy. She took my bottle of beer and took a swig, and I jokingly grabbed it and said "hey that's my beer you thief!"

Unfortunately when I grabbed it I accidentally pushed it further into her mouth and cracked her front tooth... chip gone out of it. She ran to the toilet and I found her crying in front of the mirror. She was a very hot Israeli girl and had lovely teeth. I felt so bad. Never got the shift...

Lorelli!

I was in a pub sitting around a table with loads of my oh's works colleagues, some of them a good bit older than us. They were talking about funny habits people have or something like that.

I was thinking about how my oh tends to shake his foot for a while before he goes to sleep and I blurted out "sure he's like Thumper in bed" and one of them gave me a funny smile and i realised how it sounded "em..i mean cause he shakes his foot" but too late. I think I'd already placed a different image in their mind!

Yer Da sells Avon

Around 10 years ago, in a large pet shop in Portlaoise, I was quietly trying to teach a parrot to say the f-word (fuck) and the c-word (cunt). I didn't think there was anyone within earshot, but when I turned around, two very unimpressed-looking elderly women were standing nearby. As I embarrassedly shuffled away, I overheard one of them using the word "disgusting".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGFXcN0vYeA

s8n

Good thread, I’ll keep and eye on this one

[Deleted User]

endacl wrote: »

My funny flute story.

Hahaha. Had to get my boyfriend to pause the tv show he was watching to read this out. Gave us a great laugh!

[Deleted User]

This didn't actually happen to me personally, but I was there to witness it...

Was sitting in a takeaway waiting for someone in the queue a few years back. Middle aged man comes to the door with his son who I guessed was about maybe six years of age. The father stops at the door and gives some money to the child, sending him up to order the food (dunno, teaching him to interact with the rest of the world I suppose).

Anyway, the boy gets to the counter and reels off what the dad's just told him to repeat. This place sells almost entirely chicken, except they seem to be out of what he's been told to ask for. The girl at the counter is leaning over explaining this, but the kid's only five or six and hasn't a notion of what she's on about. He's looking back at the father with a confused expression, so the girl serving, who's completely flat chested, roars across the shop to the dad "I don't have any breasts!"

Needless to say the words had barely left her mouth before she realised what she just said. The dad nearly wet himself, the rest of the shop nearly choked, and the poor young one looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

greenspurs

Reminds me of my father in law - can be a bit blonde....

Away in spain on holidays - went into restaurant for grub.
Order our food, waiters comes to him ... Can I have breast of chicken? Waiter hasn't a clue - a breast of chicken my f.in l repeats... Still nothing from the waiter.

F in Law grabs his chest and motions squeezing, whilst saying Breast.... a breast of chicken.....

He ended up ordering a burger...

TomSweeney

endacl wrote: »

I’m fundamentally unembarrassable. An occasion that should make me cringe, but doesn’t, is an interaction in a local chemist that I’ve had occasion to repost several times on this site.

Copied from: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86024390

Right. Well.

Some years ago I bought a flute made by a maker in Bray, Desi Seery. Lovely fella, if a bit rough around the edges. He makes traditional wooden flutes. He also makes them from a plastic-like material called Delrin. Looks, feels and acts like wood, but much harder wearing etc... Mine was one of those. Anyway, 'this one time' (:D) i was chatting to him, and I asked about maintenance. His advice was to run a bit of liquid paraffin through it every week or so, just to keep the bore smooth, fill any imperfections etc. So that's what I decided to do.

So, on the way home I popped into our local chemist for a bottle o' the shtuff. Now, as it happens, I am an idiot. I never thought of pouring the excess back into the bottle when I was finished, and so the following week I was back to the chemist again. For another half litre bottle of liquid paraffin. And again the following week. And the week after that. You see a pattern emerging, I trust...?

Now, in the chemist worked a young Australian girl. Young. Pretty. Very friendly. Kinda knew her to say hello to after all this liquid paraffin purchasing. About three months of liquid paraffin purchasing. Anyway, this one time I was in and the shop was quite busy. She gestured me aside for a quick word and said in a concerned tone, and I quote "I've noticed you've been buying liquid paraffin for some time now, and that it doesn't seem to be working for your 'condition'. There are other, more effective remedies available, if you'd like me to talk you through them?" I obviously looked quite confused at this point. Because I was. She picked up on this. "For your ..... constipation" she almost whispered. I took a split second to think about this. I honestly had no idea that liquid paraffin was traditionally used as a laxative. Used as a laxative by my granny's generation though! Obviously not wanting this pretty young aussie to think a had been battling unsuccessfully with chronic constipation for the previous three months, I loudly blurted out, just at one of those moments you get when a busy shop suddenly falls silent, "Nicole, I'm not constipated. I use it to oil my flute!!".

Shop erupts. Nicole turns the deepest shade of red I've ever seen, and I only realise when I'm back home oiling my flute, how that must have sounded.

My funny flute story.

great story, but let's be honest - it never happened !

Hellrazer

My Axl rose kilt and white leather jacket with the strings hanging from the sleeves.
Thought I was Axl rose walking around Dublin.

greenspurs

Hellrazer wrote: »

My Axl rose kilt and white leather jacket with the strings hanging from the sleeves.
Thought I was Axl rose walking around Dublin.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Could have been worse - white lycra shorts :eek:

"Kill your Idols" or "Charles Manson" tshirt ?

Hellrazer

greenspurs wrote: »

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Could have been worse - white lycra shorts :eek:

"Kill your Idols" or "Charles Manson" tshirt ?

Check and check!!

BrokenArrows

Mostly when it comes to girls when I was a teen.
Many situations where girls were so blatantly flirting with me but I was oblivious.

Thinking back on it I really have no idea how stupid I was. The effect of going to all boys schools I suppose. Zero ability to interact with the opposite sex.

Strabanimal

Last year I watched Dublin vs Tyrone. I stayed by myself as I had to get the bus to Belfast which was later as the rest of the lads got the bus to Strabane. So after they left I immediately go to the pub across the road from the bus stop in Dublin. Start drinking making friends. Get plastered, take an e, remember nothing after, wake up in one of those 24 hour joints getting shouted at by a Polish girl telling me to get out. Realised I've lost my phone and debit card. No way home. Went to the police station to see if they heard of any bags going missing (which had my phone and debit card and more in it), he simply told me to check with another police station. Refused to let me make a call to get a lift after I explained what had happened. Had to go around shops in Dublin city centre asking to use their phone. Took many attempts but finally got through after a woman in the chemist reluctantly agreed and my dad picked up and agreed to give me a lift.

I used to hate living here in Belfast but I know I would've been looked after far better if I was a tourist and got stranded there than in Dublin. The PSNI would be A LOT more helpful not to mention the locals. Was a lesson and I had to buy a brand new phone and get a new drivers licence and get a new debit card etc and was all my doing. But it really showed me the true character of the dubs. When I explained my situation up here they simply say "aye they hate us". That's my cringiest story by far tbh.

The Pheasant2

JackieChang wrote: »

Hitting on a girl in a club whilst dancing. Cheesy. She took my bottle of beer and took a swig, and I jokingly grabbed it and said "hey that's my beer you thief!"

Unfortunately when I grabbed it I accidentally pushed it further into her mouth and cracked her front tooth... chip gone out of it. She ran to the toilet and I found her crying in front of the mirror. She was a very hot Israeli girl and had lovely teeth. I felt so bad. Never got the shift...

This sounds exactly like something Mark Corrigan would do

cstaff

I was coming home from work one evening on the bus and bumped into a girl that I went to school with and hadn't seen for a few years. We were just chatting in general and she then asked me if I was going to the five year school re-union. I looked at her and said "are you kidding, that sounds like my idea of a night from hell - anyone that I have wanted to keep in contact with I have and anyone I haven't well there is probably a reason". I was on a right rant at this stage and I said to her "sure you might as well bring along a tape recording of yourself saying where you work, if you are married, have you got kids and all that BS".

She just looked at me and said well I am one of the ones organising the re-union. Needless to say the conversation was a bit awkward after that.

Cookie_Monster

One night coming home pissed and some dick had parked in the private drive for the street our house was on, i got caught by some randomer walking by letting the air out of the tyres and had to pretend to be vomiting into the flower bed.

Turnipman

Strabanimal wrote: »

Get plastered, take an e, remember nothing after,

But it really showed me the true character of the dubs.

When I explained my situation up here they simply say "aye they hate us".

That would be the true character of the Northside Dubs.

Had you been in the Southside wearing a Tyrone jersey (which, on the Southside would have been regarded as an Ulster rugby jersey) you'd merely have been shunned like a pariah; plus, of course, your wallet and phone wouldn't have been robbed.

corner of hells

Strabanimal wrote: »

Last year I watched Dublin vs Tyrone. I stayed by myself as I had to get the bus to Belfast which was later as the rest of the lads got the bus to Strabane. So after they left I immediately go to the pub across the road from the bus stop in Dublin. Start drinking making friends. Get plastered, take an e, remember nothing after, wake up in one of those 24 hour joints getting shouted at by a Polish girl telling me to get out. Realised I've lost my phone and debit card. No way home. Went to the police station to see if they heard of any bags going missing (which had my phone and debit card and more in it), he simply told me to check with another police station. Refused to let me make a call to get a lift after I explained what had happened. Had to go around shops in Dublin city centre asking to use their phone. Took many attempts but finally got through after a woman in the chemist reluctantly agreed and my dad picked up and agreed to give me a lift.

I used to hate living here in Belfast but I know I would've been looked after far better if I was a tourist and got stranded there than in Dublin. The PSNI would be A LOT more helpful not to mention the locals. Was a lesson and I had to buy a brand new phone and get a new drivers licence and get a new debit card etc and was all my doing. But it really showed me the true character of the dubs. When I explained my situation up here they simply say "aye they hate us". That's my cringiest story by far tbh.

Let me get this right , you went on the piss on your own , took an E , loss your phone , debit card and other belongings and then expected to be babysat/mollycoddled by strangers because you're a halfwit.

Strabanimal

Turnipman wrote: »

That would be the true character of the Northside Dubs.

Had you been in the Southside wearing a Tyrone jersey (which, on the Southside would have been regarded as an Ulster rugby jersey) you'd merely have been shunned like a pariah; plus, of course, your wallet and phone wouldn't have been robbed.

I am a huge GAA fan but I am not a big fan of O'Neills style and haven't bought a jersey for any sport since I was a kid. I was dressed in neutral attire.

Strabanimal

corner of hells wrote: »

Let me get this right , you went on the piss on your own , took an E , loss your phone , debit card and other belongings and then expected to be babysat/mollycoddled by strangers because you're a halfwit.

No, I expect the police to look into things and not just toss you to the side. I have given my phone to absolute strangers on the street to use for a phone call that weren't in a hurry.

In that post I admitted it was my wrongdoing thus my cringiest moment. Still it showed me the difference between how nice people are in Belfast than Dublin. All I'm saying. You Dubs are really touchy feely about anything that's said bad about you.

corner of hells

Strabanimal wrote: »

No, I expect the police to look into things and not just toss you to the side. I have given my phone to absolute strangers on the street to use for a phone call that weren't in a hurry.

In that post I admitted it was my wrongdoing thus my cringiest moment. Still it showed me the difference between how nice people are in Belfast than Dublin. All I'm saying. You Dubs are really touchy feely about anything that's said bad about you.

When you're in the Dublin the next time , visit Easons, it almost parallel with Spire , up from the GPO.
Buy some labels , the ones with the little strings .
Put your name , address and a contact number of a next of kin and tie it on to a button on your coat or shirt.
So in the event you have a repeat performance of your previous experience your won't have to interact with anyone , they can just look at your and help you that way.

Dave0301

Strabanimal wrote: »

No, I expect the police to look into things and not just toss you to the side. I have given my phone to absolute strangers on the street to use for a phone call that weren't in a hurry.

In that post I admitted it was my wrongdoing thus my cringiest moment. Still it showed me the difference between how nice people are in Belfast than Dublin. All I'm saying. You Dubs are really touchy feely about anything that's said bad about you.

I think we have a contender for your new cringe moment

What would they look into after you got yourself pissed and off your head on ecstasy?

Strabanimal

corner of hells wrote: »

When you're in the Dublin the next time , visit Easons, it almost parallel with Spire , up from the GPO.
Buy some labels , the ones with the little strings .
Put your name , address and a contact number of a next of kin and tie it on to a button on your coat or shirt.
So in the event you have a repeat performance of your previous experience your won't have to interact with anyone , they can just look at your and help you that way.

My perception was that dubs were very friendly people. I then realised they were only friendly when I was giving them money for all these years. Belfast/Derry etc are probably more helpful to the needy who bring it upon themselves because of our recent history. Dublin's very beautiful and I would definitely recommend visiting there, no need to be so defensive.

Strabanimal

Dave0301 wrote: »

I think we have a contender for your new cringe moment

What would they look into after you got yourself pissed and off your head on ecstasy?

The fact that my bag could've been handed in or the fact they could let me use their phone? The PSNI are far more useful, and that's coming from a Republican.

corner of hells

Strabanimal wrote: »

My perception was that dubs were very friendly people. I then realised they were only friendly when I was giving them money for all these years. Belfast/Derry etc are probably more helpful to the needy who bring it upon themselves because of our recent history. Dublin's very beautiful and I would definitely recommend visiting there, no need to be so defensive.

That's very charitable of you, giving money to the citizens of Dublin.
I may have misjudged you.

Sooo , are you back down anytime soon ?

Dave0301

Strabanimal wrote: »

The fact that my bag could've been handed in or the fact they could let me use their phone? The PSNI are far more useful, and that's coming from a Republican.

I agree they could help with bag; not so much about using the phone due to your own fúck up.

corner of hells

Dave0301 wrote: »

I agree they could help with bag; not so much about using the phone due to your own fúck up.

Might be worth a GSOC complaint.