Needsometimeout wrote: » It sounds like you've had a lot of change in the last eighteen months. You thought you had a break when you were on holiday but it wasn't really an opportunity to relax because you were aware you were starting in a new position when you returned home. Additionally, you need more than a short holiday to recover from that amount of stress.
Needsometimeout wrote: » I went through a period like you've described above, one with a lot of life changes. I was more stressed than I had been in my life. When helped for me was that I had a month off before starting a new job. It actually took a month for me to get back to normal. It helped that I was looking forward to the new job and therefore, the prospect of starting was too stressful.
Needsometimeout wrote: » The reality OP is that you are still in that stressful period because you actually haven't had enough of an opportunity to get over it. Additionally, your job is stressful and you are planning a wedding, which can be stressful too.
Needsometimeout wrote: » What it comes down to is that when we are stressed, it's a message that we are overloaded. The only thing that is really going to help is making changes to give yourself time to recover. Whether that's trying to take some leave or making changes at work, that's up to you. Talk therapy is a great tool but it can't cancel out the impact of being in a difficult environment.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » I've been on them on & off since end of April at this stage. However, I'm on 2mg tablets (which is lowest dosage) and I take between 1 & 3 tablets depending on level of difficulty sleeping once I wake up. The doctor seemed to be saying that because I only use them maybe 3/4 nights per week, the level of dependency/withdrawal should be minimal? I've only taken them for general anxiety once or twice.
tara73 wrote: » so you take every night up to 6mg for the last two month? Jesus, I would disucuss this with your doctor.
Needsometimeout wrote: » Regarding the root of your anxiety, I think your main problem is your job. May I ask which profession it is? I don't know but I have a bit of a feeling we might work in the same profession..
Needsometimeout wrote: » I guess you feel and are completely overburdened with what people in your job expect from you. But you don't want to admit it. Your conscious mind says you need to be able to do it. Because you have a mortgage to pay, you will get married and you probably also have in the back of your mind you'll have to provide for kids soon enough. You want to function no matter what, but your body and soul are showing you your limits with this anxiety attacks.People and their bodies react differently to overloads of stress and the feeling of overburdendness. Some people get extreme pain, backpain, headaches or pain everywhere. Many people get this anxiety attacks.
Needsometimeout wrote: » Please listen to your body and ask yourself whether you really need to do this stressful job. the economy is really picking up and I'm sure there are jobs on offer with lesser expectations and stressload? Even if it means to scale down moneywise or reputationwise. Your life, health and wellbeing is worth more than any money or reputation.
Carrie50 wrote: » I doubt its anything to do with your relationship with your partner..ye sound solid..
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » Is it weird that I always seem to be way worse in the morning?! As the day goes on my head tends to clear & the anxiety or worry seems to fade away to a large extent. It's very strange.
Emme wrote: » Not at all. Brain fog and feeling worse in the morning are signs of burnout. Throwing valium at problems like this will only make things worse. If you can afford it I would advise you to go to a functional doctor who takes a 360 view of your health. Dr Fionnuala McHale qualified from Trinity Medical School and has other qualifications as well. You can see from her website below that she takes a completely different approach from a standard GP. She is not cheap but I think for you it would be money well spent.http://invigorateclinic.com/
shesty wrote: » Also a complete control freak here.... OP just watch out for the differences between a counsellor and a psychologist/therapist... I know I visited a psychologist and they were trying to get into my relationship with my mother (which is fine), and I just felt they were not for me - it wasn't addressing my issues. The counsellor on the other hand listened, advised and gave me strategies to cope, rather than delving deep in my past. My gut feeling was that the past hadn't really got anything to do with my problem at the time. It may be in your case it does, but I suppose be a bit wary of therapists wanting to see you for endless visits, and things maybe not really improving as a result - be open to rethinking your strategy if needed.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » ?....Saw new potential therapist today for consultation. They think it’s related to unresolved childhood trauma from fractuius relationship between my parents who eventually split....
WIZWEB wrote: » It's very early for this potential therapist to make such an assessment. However it is highly likely to be relevant if you brought the topic up in conversation. Our parents are the template for our future adult relationships. They teach us consciously and subconsciously how to relate to others. If there are unresolved issues or past problems this baggage can carry forward into our own couplings. Dysfunction in parental relationships will be a poor foundation for our own. There's no blame involved as they each learned their skills from their own parental caregivers and life experiences. As well as CBT which I previously suggested you should be offered inner critic work. This harmful parental influence in such circumstances can strongly guide our worldview with a negative internal dialogue. Lots of things including our self-esteem, depression, temparment and personality can be severely influenced. Work may and/or recent events may have been your trigger. A good therapist will get to the route of your issues and give you the skills to empower yourself and reach an equilibrium of 'I'm good enough'. As your mind clears you'll realise that you most likely are already good enough. That will happen when you diffuse the power of the your inner critic. Again I'm only speculating based on your posts. A full assessment of you and engagement by you will be required. It will take some time but a good therapist will expediate your recovery.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » Hi I am currently going through a crisis. This comes after a period of huge change (mainly positive!) & some considerable work stress in my life. Summary of last 12 months as follows; -2 job changes in last 18 months -Bought new house & moved in -Friend tried to commit suicide -Lot of political infighting in work -Mother not too well -Leading a very large project in work with very high profile & lot of pressure Despite being very stressed with work & all that had gone on, I was looking forward to getting engaged (l had long planned this & have been with my partner for 6 years, living together for 4). We have a great relationship & I consider myself very lucky. The week after the engagement we were due to head on holidays for a nice break & to celebrate our engagement. While I was stressed in the run up, I had long seen this as the line in the sand when I would unwind from all the stress of the last 12 months. However, in the middle of a long-haul flight & I couldn’t stop my mind racing. I still didn’t feel right. I thought the engagement & holiday would relax me. It didn’t. I then started to think all kinds of irrational thoughts. What if I felt like this because this isn’t what I wanted in life? Why if I don’t love my partner enough? Surely if I loved her enough I wouldn’t feel so anxious?! God this must mean I don’t love her. The feelings of stress & anxiety intensified & I had an anxiety attack on the plane – where I got hysterically upset & couldn’t control my emotions. I woke my partner up, told her what was happening & that I couldn’t explain where this extreme fear came from. I told her that I knew I loved her & wanted to be with her so couldn’t understand these thoughts or the anxiety. The rest of the holiday was a whirlwind of relationship related anxiety, interspersed with moments of clarity when I knew it was just stress/anxiety catching up with me. However, I was never able to fully shake the anxiety. I had hoped getting home would stabilise things but unfortunately that’s not been the case (not helped by a big role change in work immediately when I got back). This has been ongoing for 3 months now & is causing me significant distress. I have not slept more than 5 hrs per night since then & amn’t eating right, which obviously isn’t helping! While I have had moments when it feels manageable & even sometimes like I’ve come through the other side – but it always creeps back and focuses in on the best thing in my my life. Questioning, doubting, thinking about all different horrible scenarios where we break up - all of which devastate me. Even when I’m not around my partner, I constantly feel either depressed or anxious. I don’t enjoy any of the things I used to enjoy, tv, music, friends etc. This all usually eventually results in a huge anxiety attack when I think I can’t cope with the constant anxiety anymore, followed by a couple of days of depression, before the anxiety starts to build back up again. This is probably not helped by my constant searching and researching online. I am currently attending talk therapy (have had 8 sessions) – but am finding it is not providing me with any relief. While no doubt touching on issues which have contributed to my susceptibility to this condition, I do not find it solution focussed enough & it does not appear to be alleviating my immediate distress in any way. My GP has prescribed me with anti depressants/anxiety meds and I’m on them the 6 weeks (upped dosage twice in the last 10 days) Apologies for the long-winded post - I just am really desperate for help & to try and get my life back on track. I’m constantly analysing every moment as to whether I “feel” enough - but it’s hard to feel anything but fear when you’ve been anxious or depressed for 3 months, but this then further feeds my anxiety. I feel like I’m ruining what’s meant to be an exciting time for us & it feels like it’s slowly strangling our great relationship. Anyone any words of advice?
Emme wrote: » You have everything going for you. Supportive fiancee. Good job. You have the option of taking time off work - Many people can't afford that. I understand how hard it is when a parent is sick bit there are people who have to cope with 2 sick parents and they have no partner or siblings for support. They might not be able to afford counselling or CBT either. But they manage to keep going and cope. Perhaps you have too much time to think.
