WIZWEB wrote: » Don't ever apologise for 'long-winded posts'. You should see some of my responses! There's triggers to your anxiety and depression and you've listed some of these. You say this has occured for the last three months. Though issues have probably been building up for much longer. Posititively you have sought and engaged in professional therapy. This takes time. There's no magic immediate solution. I've had my own issues with non-directive counselling in the past. However I accept as based upon evidence that it is highly effective with a good therapist. They guide us to find our own answers and solutions. CBT is reportedly good for depression and anxiety so I hope that is a tool being shared with you. There are good books available too with simple but effective stress managing strategies. Ideally read those authorised by individuals with professional qualifications. The depression medication you are receiving also takes time to work. You're barely within that window. Depending on the severity of your condition ideally your prescription will be temporary due to the side effects and masking of your problems. Mindfulness is a tool I would highly recommend. Takes a little time too but again as can be evidenced is a brilliant tool to just switch off those racing thoughts. This helps balance our emotions and enjoy the present moment. All instead of dwelling on a past we can do nothing about or fearing an ever unpredictable future.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » It nearly feels like it’s gotten worse since I went on the meds. Before I had full days where I felt like myself & that it was behind me, but it always crept back. Since the meds, the best I feel is only slightly anxious. I never feel happy or like myself
WIZWEB wrote: » The medication can lead to a middle ground unfortunately that will scupper extremes of highs as well as lows. Something to discuss further with your doctor so they can regulate the dosage further. Currently they are experimenting with your ideal dosage which may mean a downwards one after reevaluating. Fully engageing with the talk therapy will help minimise your reliance on medication.
Jenneke87 wrote: » I know medical advise is not allowed, but could it be that all this stress is causing you to be on the verge of a burn-out?
zoobizoo wrote: » What kind of talk therapy? What type of therapist are you visiting?
zapper55 wrote: » You are being immensely hard on yourself. Maybe your confidence has taken a knock too.
zapper55 wrote: » Finding those decisions harder to make at the moment is completely completely normal.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: The only thing that really hurts me about the whole thing is when it starts targeting my relationship & making me question everything
Cash_Q wrote: » Getting engaged is a huge step, so it's only natural that you might question the relationship to be sure you're doing the right thing by committing to marriage. You are going to have an amazing experience getting married and being a husband, it's just that sometimes we feel a need to imagine life another way to assure ourselves that this is the right path. I would hope that your doubts are leading you towards that assurance, and if they're not, you have to be honest with yourself and your fiance that maybe marriage isn't for you.
Emme wrote: » OP you have had a lot of stress but you are lucky to be engaged and have a supportive partner. You are also lucky to be able to afford talk therapy.
Your doctor prescribed anti-anxiety meds but did he or she give you anything to help you sleep?
Did you get any advice on diet and exercise? Maybe go back to your doctor and ask about reviewing your medication and ensuring you get something to help you sleep. If you don't do this already, try to get 30 minutes or better still an hour of exercise every day.
I don't mean to be horrible but sometimes it helps to sit down and write down all the good things you have in life and be actively thankful for them. Do this every day and stop focusing on your stress.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » I know, part of what makes this so hard is that I feel lucky. I have a great life. I don’t know what I’m feeling like this all of a sudden
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » Yea, valium. I have no problem getting to sleep. I just wake every night around 3 am. I either take valium then to get back asleep or go back asleep naturally on the good days. But then I always wake about 5am & am unable to get back asleep
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » Nothing on diet, but yea, advised to get exercise. So im doing about an hour walking a day. It tends to calm my mind which is good.
Emme wrote: » You have had a lot on and when somebody in the family is sick it is very stressful. Valium is very addictive and your tolerance to it builds quickly (ie you need 2 after a while when you originally needed 1). It isn't solving the problem of you getting a full night's sleep. Go to your doctor again. You can buy supplements called Kalms in a purple box which help you sleep. You can get them in Boots and talk to the pharmacist about them before you get them. Exercise helps but you need to eat properly - 3 proper meals a day with protein at each meal. For breakfast you could have proats (that's oats with protein powder mixed with fruit such as blueberries strawberries, raspberries etc). It can be made the night before. Try to take time away from your desk at lunchtime and go for a walk if possible. Even 20 minutes is good. A mixed salad with smoked salmon, cheese or other protein is good for lunch. Then make sure you have a good dinner in the evenings. Have nuts and some fruits for snacks. Proper nutrition and supplementation are vital if you are to get over anxiety depression with minimal medication. I mentioned magnesium before, it's known as nature's valium and helps with sleep if you take it at night. Go to a pharmacy or health food shop and get professional advice on supplementation.
heretothere wrote: » I can't speak much about depression/ anxiety. With regards questioning getting married, I can completely get that one! I'm the same, I adore my fiance and can't wait to be his wife. BUT every so often I'll have little niggles like ahhhhh what if this isn't the right thing, I know there is no one I would rather be with but it is a huge commitment.
shesty wrote: » Wow OP.I could have written this post 8 years ago about how I was feeling about my relationship.I can't actually believe someone else is experiencing these feelings. I was 26 at the time, maybe younger than you?(female here :-) ). i was with OH for maybe 5 years at that stage, not living together.In a very stressful job (particularly for my age), and was told that I was moving to another area of the job which I wasn't happy about. So the anxiety started.About my relationship!!!Which to me and to him, was only going to end one way, with marraige.I couldn't see myself being with anyone else for the rest of my life, he was (and is!) the only one I wanted.And yet.....was he?.At the time, I couldn't see the wood for the trees.I was exhausted, struggling to deal with work, both the stress and the lack of control being moved somewhere without a choice.And I started thinking like you describe....how do I feel?How do I really feel?oh I didn't feel thrilled when he rang me there, this can't be right, I mustn't love him enough etc etc. In hindsight I think it was that the relationship was the one area of life that I had a degree of control over, which caused me to analyse it so much.Also I was in a very stressful job and obviously wasn't coping well, although I didn't really realise that at the time. What happened for me was the line in the sand was drawn by events in my life.A close relative died.I lasted a few more weeks after that then it all became too much.I declared I needed a break, and basically cried for about five days.Went to work, came home, and cried.It was like a dam burst, literally.After a few days, I started to get tired of crying (I know that sounds silly!!) And found myself feeling like I was ready to get on with life.Still was indecisive, but decided to get back with himself and pretty much forced myself to shut down negative thoughts every time they came up.And gradually over time they stopped coming.And I calmed down. I know this mightn't be a totally helpful post but I just wanted to tell you two things-firstly you aren't the only one to think like this, and secondly, try to accept that you have a lot of stress in your life (at least you can see this), and see what you can change and how to better manage it.You would preferably do that before you reach the kind of point that I did!CBT style therapy is probably most appropriate, to me it seemed like the most sensible to address my problem anyway.You should look into it.
Emme wrote: If you feel that the meds are making you worse go off then with your doctor's help. Tell him or her you want to go off them and don't be bullied into staying on them or you will be on them for life. If you don't want to consider another anti-anxiety med don't take it. Antidepressant and antianxiety meds are highly addictive even if they don't do much help. Get your fiancee's support in this. Consider complementary therapies such as acupuncture. Get good nutritional advice. I find taking magnesium at night very helpful for sleep but you need to consult a professional before taking anything. Ask your pharmacist about a supplement called Revive Active and some of the health food shops have days where they have nutritional consultants in.
chicorytip wrote: » You should stop taking what you are taking by reducing the dosage gradually. The physical side effects of these (including sexual dysfunction) can be horrendous particularly with prolonged use. Popping pills is not the solution to the problems you are experiencing. Living as healthy a lifestyle as possible should be your priority. Consider changing careers. No job is worth harming your health and relationships over.
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » chicorytip wrote: » You should stop taking what you are taking by reducing the dosage gradually. The physical side effects of these (including sexual dysfunction) can be horrendous particularly with prolonged use. Popping pills is not the solution to the problems you are experiencing. Living as healthy a lifestyle as possible should be your priority. Consider changing careers. No job is worth harming your health and relationships over. To be fair to the job, a huge amount of the pressure has been me putting it on myself. Trying to get ahead & progress, which I’ve done. However, the last 3 months I’ve already moved to a much healthier work/life balance to try and aid my recovery & I’ll never overdo it again tbh. I’m happy to follow the advices of the G.P. around the pills for the time being, but will be looking to get off them as soon as things stablize somewhat & while working through the underlying issues in therapy. If I need a little pharmaceutical help to do that in the meantime, so be it.
jenggg wrote: » What medication did was pull me out of a hole and then I dealt with the issues through counselling. I believe that’s the most effective treatment. My opinion anyway!
LonelyBoy84 wrote: » That seems to be general consensus from doctors etc. To be fair, GP gave it like 4 weeks of watching & waiting see if it was improving & it wasn’t. Then he prescribed.
