Wibbs wrote: » You don't tend to hear women say "foreign men are [insert positive traits here] and our men are [insert negative traits here]" nearly so much
Wibbs wrote: » Now given that men having a preference for and going out with "foreign" women are obviously finding such women, but like I say I've heard very few women doing the same, at least in Ireland and Europe in general. I did see it back in the 90's where women from the former Soviet states were actively looking for men from outside of that, but that was more down to more choice and economics.
professore wrote: » It's DEFINITELY easier with non Irish women. Most DEFINITELY not confirmation bias. An average Irish woman would NEVER give you any signals she's interested unless you are in the top 5% in her head. Also many are very puritanical and ultra sensitive and have no idea how to flirt. Or maybe that's just because they aren't attracted, as a hot foreign man can say anything to them. I guess you are attracted to difference, apparently gingers are swimming in women in Italy and Spain. Literally had more flirting in half an hour with a Spanish woman recently than I've had in my whole life with Irish women. And it was only fun as I'm married to a Belgian woman. Very sad.
shakeitoff wrote: » How much of you just aren't attractive to girls though? Wanting your own freedom but playing the field is different than struggling to get women's attention. I'm handsome but girls don't seem to care. Seems they prefer uglier guys with gregarious 'alpha' personalities than pretty/handsome guy who is kinda meek.
shakeitoff wrote: » Interesting. Do you think there's that big of a difference between France and Ireland though? Are good looks not universal?
Deleted User wrote: » What consists of good looks though? France with a larger population means that there's more variety as to what constitutes being attractive. Let me put it this way. This is pure guesswork though. While there are the women who go for the muscular gorgeous guys, or the rugged types, French movies/media have been showing the skinny guy in romantic movies for decades. There's more exposure in French culture for a variety of men to be deemed attractive. What I would say is that I was far more successful in France than in Ireland, even to the point where French women would approach me in cafes, or bars to meet for romantic purposes. Sure there were some who just wanted to be friends, but they were a minority compared to the whole. As for is there a big difference? yes, I would say there is. I can't really explain why though, without offending every Irish woman..
shakeitoff wrote: » How much of you just aren't attractive to girls though? Wanting your own freedom but playing the field is different than struggling to get women's attention.
I'm handsome but girls don't seem to care. Seems they prefer uglier guys with gregarious 'alpha' personalities than pretty/handsome guy who is kinda meek.
shakeitoff wrote: » I don't think Irish women like that type of look in general.
Wibbs wrote: » Irish Women™ are not some alien species. It would be my humble and my experience that they're pretty much the same as Women™ everywhere. The population pool is smaller yes, but again in my humble it's more about some Irish Men™ and their approach. About the only standout I've noticed with Irish women™ is of a night out. They're more defensive of approaches, but that's down to the drinking culture and long experiences of drunk eejits getting handsy and assuming too much, so they build up that defensiveness as... well, a defence. "Foreign women"™ from non #getoffyourtits cultures are less likely to do that, and you're exotic to them, so that's a draw. Irish culture is a bit behind the curve of the sexual revolution too and in some ways we've lurched into it, and sometimes overcompensate for it, so that can be a factor too. With both sexes.
Wibbs wrote: » My take would be along the lines of Klaz'. "Good looking" is generally universal these days with worldwide mass communication, "attractive" is far more variable and local. Though - and this is just my humble, and in men anyway, as I have found in my experience that Women™ have a wider range of what attracts them than men - there are a few consistent traits that tend to be seen as attractive: social confidence, health, emotional stability, social "power"(that can be money or talent or renown or being "exotic"), easy going, not being a lapdog, sense of humour(which more means a man who can laugh off life's daft stuff, rather than a standup comedian) and other women being at ease with them. See above. Handsome generally comes way down the list particularly beyond the teen years. Even in the teen years handsome and socially awkward is not a great draw. For obvious reasons. Handsome is fine, but if conversation and social interactions are like drawing blood from a stone that get's boring bloody quickly. I would also agree with Klaz when he says meek is dating suicide. Yes there will be guys like that who "got lucky" with a woman, but as I said Women™ have more of a range in what they may find attractive, but said meek guy will have far fewer choices and far fewer occasions of being "lucky". The " uglier guys with gregarious 'alpha' personalities" as you put it are all things being equal simply more fun and easier to be around. And don't get me started on the alpha stuff. 9 times outa 10 this is usually the label socially awkward lads put on men who aren't socially awkward. If you're a chap who thinks himself an "introvert" and sees "extroverts" as ****, then you're likely one of those socially awkward. And that's fine. So long as one doesn't get into the woe is me blame game cycle of defeat. TL;DR? People generally prefer to be around fun and normally gregarious people who aren't wrapped up in themselves and their world. Stop The Presses!! Women are people. :eek: The more you meet and talk with(not to) the more your choices go up. It's fairly simple.
Pug160 wrote: » I'm not sure if you guys have taken note of this as well, but over the past year or two I have noticed that quite a lot of handsome men are making the news for violent attacks and other crimes. Now whether or not that fact is noteworthy in and of itself is up for debate, but I guess it does kind of remind you that whilst being physically attractive is desirable, it's by no means the be-all and end-all, and is certainly no guarantee that you will be happy in life and emotionally stable.
shakeitoff wrote: » Women love bantering humour where they are teased and made fun of, if you can pull this off you might be able to get yourself a girl.
rainbowtrout wrote: » Bit of a generalisation there.
shakeitoff wrote: » I always feel men are only as good looking as their worst feature. Women have a great way of weeding out men in ways that aren't always obviously. Handsome but not tall, good luck. Good body but a below average face, you compensating son, handsome and you may be too pretty. It's a bloodbath out there. Being funny seems to be the best way to be attractive but problem is there is a type of humour women in general like which some guys have. Women love bantering humour where they are teased and made fun of, if you can pull this off you might be able to get yourself a girl.
[Deleted User] wrote: » I find attractiveness to be a bit amusing TBH. I've found that in many ways its a cultural thing which encourages certain 'features' to be more appealing than others. I've traveled extensively during most of which I was single. I won't say that I "played" but I was always open to new encounters or experiences. While in Ireland/uk, I wouldn't have been considered handsome, in other countries I am. In Asia, I'm very good looking due to pale skin, a big nose, and being tall. Oh, and my blue eyes. In parts of Africa, I was considered attractive because I was slim, and also the color of my skin. In Southern Europe, I was average although I remained quite popular... and in Eastern Europe/Russia... ahh well, there's always a feeling that my EU citizenship is a factor. But through all my experiences, whenever my physical attractiveness failed or didn't register... my personality, experience and knowledge could usually swing the opinions. Even to the point where I was with women who had far "better" choices in younger, more handsome, or richer men. Attractiveness can't really be generalised since it's a personal thing... and most of us don't really understand it. I know the kinds of women I like, but I'm often attracted to women who are completely outside of those guidelines. it's instinctual... although I've found for other people, they tend to follow certain cultural influences probably from their background while growing up.. For myself, I wasn't successful with women for my first 30 years, so I was a pretty clean slate when I went abroad, except I knew what I didn't like. Since then, my personal knowledge about my attractions has developed but honestly... I won't know if I'm genuinely attracted to someone until I see them in front of me. Photos don't really do anything for me, beyond a basic appreciation.
erudec wrote: » For every 10 men who have never had a relationship, there's probably a similar number of women. Although many women have had one-night stands with men who have absolutely no interest in being seen with them in public, let alone a relationship. And if my friends are anything to go by, they often delude themselves that they are actually in a relationship with a guy who just used them for sex one time.
I don't think that such wishful thinking counts as "having a relationship" What do you think?
erudec wrote: » I must say I am EXTREMELY grateful that in this culture, I and nine tenths of other Irish women can be totally passive in terms of finding a mate, secure in the knowledge that lots of men would do the heavy lifting, taking all the risk of rejection and leaving me with nothing to do but choose.
Galwayguy35 wrote: » That's something I'd like to see changing, how about women make the first move some of the time. I've seen women giving out that men only approach them when they have a few beers in them while seemingly not realising that it's not easy for a lot of lads to make the first move without a bit of dutch courage from the alcohol. Obviously I'm not talking about someone who is so pissed he can't stand up.
Pug160 wrote: » A question for the guys who are in the same boat: how do you think you'll approach this subject if and when you do meet someone and decide to take it further? Will you be blunt about it or try to tackle it in an ambiguous way? In other words, give politician type answers. Obviously, most of us are fairly mature minded and don't want to deal with it in an immature way, or do anything that would compromise our morality. But most of us are also aware that we are outliers and that this will be seen as a big red flag to many women. So it does leave us with a conundrum. It's not all doom and gloom of course, and there is no reason anybody in the same position can't overcome it. But to put this into some kind of perspective, some women would probably be more shocked that a man had never been in a relationship by a certain age, than she would be if he told her he had a criminal record or something like that. For me, it's a kind of ''cross that bridge when I come to it'' sort of thing. I don't really know what I'll do.
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