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My friend is in alcohol rehab

walkingmuch

Hi. My best friend has gone into drink and drugs rehab in the UK for 6 weeks and to say I'm finding it hard is an understatement. Before anyone says I'm being selfish, I know he is in exactly the right place for him and getting the best help and I'm so glad about that.

My concern is that, his mum has told me they get their mobile phone back for a few hours in the evening (he is 3weeks into it). Im thinking that if he has his mobile but still not contacting me, should I be worried. The last time I saw him before he went into rehab, we left on a bad note as he was in a bad way and I had to leave the situation. He blamed my leaving for his escalation of drinking that night. That was our last contact. The lack of contact is so hard.

I have started going to Al Anon which is helpful and doing some therapy myself. This helps but I miss him so much. His mum has been to see him and told me he is doing well, but that he has not mentioned me. I would like to hear from people on either side who have been through treatment or were outside when a loved one was in treatment.

How did you deal with it, should I be worried etc?

Thanks in advance.

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splinter65

Conservatory wrote: »

He is going to al anon somewhere. Somewhere he said that. Somewhere.

Al anon is for the families and loved ones of people who abuse alcohol.

nikkibikki

He's dealing with a lot of his own issues. You could send him a text telling him you are thinking about him and you are there for him as a support.

His drinking is not your fault. He probably realises this and is gearing up to talking about that, it's part of the 12 steps I think?

You are doing the best thing for yourself and him by going to Al Anon. He will b back to you when he is ready.

Conservatory

walkingmuch wrote: »

Al Anon, is for friends and family of people with alcohol addictions!

Sorry I didn’t know that anyway whatever your relationship is he was probably told to just have contact with family. It’s normal in these places as far as I’m aware.

walkingmuch

Conservatory wrote: »

He is going to al anon somewhere. Somewhere he said that. Somewhere.

Al Anon, is for friends and family of people with alcohol addictions!

walkingmuch

Conservatory wrote: »

It’s the most helpful advice you will get here. He will also be told not to start any new relationships with girls for a year or two.

Well appreciate your reply. I wasn't a drinking buddy so there's more to the story than that. So can't see why he would be told to stay away from me this is my issue. I'm guessing he may need a break from all his friends for a bit to get clear. Yes I had heard that about relationships.

Conservatory

splinter65 wrote: »

Nowhere does the OP say that they themselves have a drink problem or that they drank with this friend. Nowhere.

He is going to al anon somewhere. Somewhere he said that. Somewhere.

splinter65

Conservatory wrote: »

Leave him alone. He was probably told to stay away from his old friends. Get your drinking sorted out.

If you care about your friend you will understand that if the two of you hang out again when he gets out of rehab chances are you will both start drinking again.

Nowhere does the OP say that they themselves have a drink problem or that they drank with this friend. Nowhere.

Conservatory

walkingmuch wrote: »

Looking for helpful comments only. "If I care" is not helpful. Of course I care, hence going to therapy and Al Anon. Our friendship wasn't based around alcohol, it was an incident. Are you speaking from experience?

It’s the most helpful advice you will get here. He will also be told not to start any new relationships with girls for a year or two.

walkingmuch

Conservatory wrote: »

Leave him alone. He was probably told to stay away from his old friends. Get your drinking sorted out.

If you care about your friend you will understand that if the two of you hang out again when he gets out of rehab chances are you will both start drinking again.

Looking for helpful comments only. "If I care" is not helpful. Of course I care, hence going to therapy and Al Anon. Our friendship wasn't based around alcohol, it was an incident. Are you speaking from experience?

Conservatory

Leave him alone. He was probably told to stay away from his old friends. Get your drinking sorted out.

If you care about your friend you will understand that if the two of you hang out again when he gets out of rehab chances are you will both start drinking again.

johnayo

walkingmuch wrote: »

Hi. My best friend has gone into drink and drugs rehab in the UK for 6 weeks and to say I'm finding it hard is an understatement. Before anyone says I'm being selfish, I know he is in exactly the right place for him and getting the best help and I'm so glad about that.

My concern is that, his mum has told me they get their mobile phone back for a few hours in the evening (he is 3weeks into it). Im thinking that if he has his mobile but still not contacting me, should I be worried. The last time I saw him before he went into rehab, we left on a bad note as he was in a bad way and I had to leave the situation. He blamed my leaving for his escalation of drinking that night. That was our last contact. The lack of contact is so hard.

I have started going to Al Anon which is helpful and doing some therapy myself. This helps but I miss him so much. His mum has been to see him and told me he is doing well, but that he has not mentioned me. I would like to hear from people on either side who have been through treatment or were outside when a loved one was in treatment.

How did you deal with it, should I be worried etc?

Thanks in advance.

Maybe send him a text wishing him well and he will get that whatever time he gets his phone back. As already said, he possibly feels guilty after your last meeting.

Dravokivich

If the last thing ye talked about was him blaming you, chances are he's guilty about it.