LirW wrote: » That mentality is really awful. It really doesn't sit right with me and I'd find it financially unwise to speculate with presents to cover the cost of my wedding. Main thing why I'm having a small thing is because I couldn't justify spending more than the amount we are going to. That's what we can shoulder ourselves without help, so we're not going to be in debt or a financial predicament when the whole thing with presents doesn't pan out :pac:
splinter65 wrote: » Over on the weddings forum I remember a poster telling of being in the bridal suite the morning after a wedding as the B&G desperately tore open the accumulated envelopes desperately trying to gather together the cash to pay the hotel bill which was to be settled of course at departure. The foul language at the sight of a solitary €50 was in stark contrast to the demure couple standing at the alter not 24 earlier.
A lot is to do with the pressure on the bride and groom to have certain things at weddings seen in the media or at friends weddings I think!
LirW wrote: » What issue exactly? That the couple decided to get married in a super fancy location that puts them out of pocket in the first place? I don't really see why the guests should be expected to pay for the couple's choices. If you can't afford getting married in Castle X, then there are a lot other, more budget friendly options or save for it. If I can only afford 50 quid and a tin of biscuits, that's what I can afford to give them.
Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: » I think Qwerty was actually agreeing that guests are being put under undue pressure to attend extravagant weddings and put a minimum amount of cash in a card.
meeeeh wrote: » I found that if you don't discuss the wedding then you don't have to suffer other people's opinions about what you should do.
LirW wrote: » I constantly get to hear what cake we need to have, what shoes I need to wear and the list goes on. Now I can easily tell people off, no problem, but I know a lot can't and might even get blackmailed into doing things.
LirW wrote: » You'd be surprised how many people involve themselves in the planning. Weddings are these occasions that bring the crazy out in people and slumbering conflicts to the surface.
Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: » Yes, I imagine a lot of brides start out wanting a smaller, more personal wedding and then get brainwashed by friends or sisters into believing that their wedding will be a disaster if they don't have it in a proper hotel, with a sit down meal, and a loud band, and a burger van for the 'afters' and a photo booth and a load of other gimmicks that might have been unusual and quirky the first time somebody thought of them but not after they've been copied a million and one times.
meeeeh wrote: » Is every bride now supposed to be an idiot who is barely able to breathe without others telling them how to do it. Maybe they just want a photo booth, ice cream van or a big wedding. And not some quirky unique experience.
duffman13 wrote: » Honeymoons are what it's all about, I'll spend more on my honeymoon than my wedding and that makes me happy, a honeymoon is two or three weeks of luxury, the wedding day will be great but i dont get people borrowing for a wedding and spending 30k on a day especially when they don't own there home. Like splurging a deposit of a house on a wedding day would break me. I think the vast majority of people enjoy weddings when -not too far from home -not much travelling between church and venue -Weekend ie Friday or Saturday -Reasonable price for hotel or easily commutable home -Good and regular food -Decent Music -Plenty of notice If those boxes are ticked off on the day I usually enjoy the day and have a great time.
flexcon wrote: » Just back from Croatia and attended a wedding. The difference in atmosphere compared to an Irish weddings I have been to is crazy. I realize the amazing weather had some part to play but everything was better. 1)6 course food menu. Came out on a big shared plate between the table to share each time. 2) Drinks were half the price ( ok this is a bit unfair as it isn't just weddings) 3) The standing up and dancing and clapping and the jut joyfulness is on another level. 4) People don't go to the church. Only close family and a few friends. It takes 30mins max. Not an dreaded hour. Overall I had my mind blown by this wedding.
Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: » Agreed except, as well as decent music, could we add 'not too loud' music so that people like me, who have two left feet. can sit back and enjoy chatting to friends over a few drinks while others are enjoying the dancefloor.
LirW wrote: » Another thing outside of the city is that the popular venues, especially in the peak season and on weekends require a very high minimum number number of guests (between 80 and 100). So if you want to book one of the hotels that do all in service you can't really have a small wedding with let's say 50 people. You might get away with it if you're doing it in a Tuesday on January if you negotiate well but generally it really limits your option. The remaining options are: Go to Dublin, pick one of the venue that focus on small parties (they're horrifyingly expensive) and you often have to order a separate caterer or do it very low key in a local function room and sort out all the suppliers yourself. When we started looking around we estimated 50 people max in the wider area where we live and boy, was I surprised how limited all in options were, so we scrapped numbers and went to Dublin.
Jamsiek wrote: » the whole thing is outdoors
duffman13 wrote: » agreed, most bands have that sorted now I think/hope though! The one thing that does annoy me is that people rarely criticise suppliers aswell. When researching and you look at weddings online and the like, everyone is reviewed 5 out of 5, no one ever criticises their own wedding which i find bizarre! Your paying a wedge, there is no way every supplier you had on the day was perfect
Jamsiek wrote: » Another option would be to scrap the hotel idea. No need for a hotel for a small gathering IMO. I’m getting marrried in July and the whole thing is outdoors for family only. We have caterers and servers coming to the venue which is in a garden. We have a party for our friends 2 days later in a brewery pub.
duffman13 wrote: » Had similar experience at a wedding, my friend was marrying a Pacific islander, absolutely brilliant craic, really different experience but do you know what people enjoy most about it? The novelty! I've a wedding in Poland next year im looking forward to aswell but again this is mainly cause it'll be interesting to see a different take on it. I know if I went to ten of those kinds of weddings aswell it would probably start to feel formulaic
Dayana Massive Poker wrote: » Leaving all else aside I really can't see how people can describe weddings as boring. You basically have access to a bar from early afternoon until 4 or 5am there is no event that would be boring in these circumstances never mind a wedding where there is loads going on, friends to catch up with and just a general good feeling about the day.
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